Its hard to live in this modern world with such weak Se, Te and Fe. Tell your funny or sad tales of when you had a terrible time because you can't use these functions.
Simpler than that. INTJs emit such a strong "don't TOUCH me" vibe (except to someone they're besotted with, or others allowed within their protective bubble, such as their cat) that grasshoppers and other critters keep away, knowing that they will soon be picked up and loved to death (in your case, literally :dry by the next passing Fi-dom.Locked keys in car.
Got lost driving.
Messy space where I lose stuff.
Walked into a chair.
Locked keys in car AGAIN.
Left jacket at restaurant.
White laundry is now pink.
Library late fees now exceed cost of buying the book.
That covers a lot of Se and Te. My poor Fe is me being socially awkward, which is more sad than amusing. Poor Te also means I know I should do XYZ to accomplish a task, but it sooooo boring. Or I reject the conventional manner of getting from A to B (likely as a matter of integrity) and spend too much energy screwing around in hopes of stumbling upon an alternative. Sometimes I do though, and then people call me creative and clever. There is also the matter of insecurity over how one stacks up to objective, impersonal standards like money earned, time taken, etc. That often leads to rejection of such things, which can make you seem irresponsible to others; Im not that extreme, but I feel the inner conflict a lot.
Not sure how amusing that was. But I have a mildly amusing story involving a grasshopper and my pants. It has nothing to do with inferior Te, but just to make up for the lack of funny...
I had to go to a school office to quickly drop off some paperwork for a job. I used the restroom on my way out. As Im walking to my car, I feel something crawling on my leg inside my skinny jeans. Im thinking "oh my god, what in the world is in my pants?!" . I scurry to my car, get inside, and then proceed to take off my pants as discreetly as possible, because after all, Im in a school parking lot and who wants to be the pantless weirdo spotted lurking in a car where many children are nearby? But I have to get out whatever is crawling around in there. So then as the pants peel off, out falls a grasshopper. He is dead at this point. I have no idea how the thing got in there, but I suspect the grasshopper was waiting to hitch a ride in the restroom, but sadly for him, skinny pants are a very risky form of transportation for delicate insects.
Somehow, I really dont think this stuff happens to Te-dom....too observant? Like, I think they'd notice the grasshoper swan-diving into their pants and would never make it to the car with one snuggly pressed against their leg.