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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I am having difficulty discerning whether I am actually INFP, and for some odd reason it is causing a lot of mental strife. I have been through a pretty stressful situation recently. My husband was in a very serious accident over a month ago and his situation was pretty precarious for a while. Anyway, I suspect that I am experiencing so much turmoil because of the stress. I know that I'm a type 4 enneagram, to start... And that my S and N are pretty evenly divided. I know that I am an introvert, but I wonder how much of the introverted behavior was learned as a result of a difficult upbringing and perceived rejection by my peers. As it is, I do not trust most people my own age and often get *feelings* that end up being fairly accurate about whom I can trust and whom I should avoid. I have difficulty with really intense people and sometimes have to ask that my intense friends "tone it down."

I tend to reach greater understanding of ideas and concepts by mulling them over and subsequently talking about the ideas. (Ne in action?) I have a penchant for understanding concepts, but have trouble with anything task-oriented. However, I do not seem to have the wild imagination that most INFP's possess. I find relationships very interesting, and I like to understand what drives people. I spend a lot of time thinking about that. However, I like to keep my distance from most people and avoid unnecessary interactions. (ISFJ?) I am not particularly good at expressing my love and care for people, but I do like to listen and discuss personal problems. As I said, I like to understand people without getting too close.

Sometimes I use lists to organize my thoughts. I use free writes to generate ideas, and a lot of these ideas are descriptions of physical impressions to represent abstract feelings. I am definitely a feeler. I think that I am very much driven by Fi. I have been told that I take life way too seriously and this has been a major focus of personal growth for me... Lightening up.

I know that INFP personal fashion sense is usually whimsical or "sloppy". I tend to dress so as not to receive too much attention, and I like to be physically comfortable (loose clothing, not exposed...modest). some people might consider my style "sloppy" but I think I clean up well and have reasonably good, if conventional, fashion sense. Again, I would probably dress differently if confidence and comfort were not issues. I would probably dress like Audrey Hepburn or Amelie if I didn't feel self-conscious or noticeable.

I was raised to value loyalty and physical modesty, as well as fidelity within relationships. Often, I fess up to mistakes I have made because there is this feeling that I need to admit to my hypocrisies, to let others know that I don't fancy myself as perfect. I used to be really self-sacrificing in that respect and have had to learn self-preservation. I'm really self-deprecating.

Anyway, hope that was long-winded enough. Please let me know of any more info is needed in order to help me figure out my type.

Thanks, all!
 
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Any reason this thread has 15views but no one has cared to speculate? Maybe this is the wrong place to put this discussion, but I figured since I primarily post in the INFP forum anyway, you would all have a decent familiarity with my posts...if that helps.
 

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Excuse me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be going a lot by analyzing your behavior (like, what you wear). Taking MBTI to it's core, it's about how you perceive/process information and how you judge/evaluate that information. Of course, these processes influence your decisions and your behavior, thus to an extent you can type yourself by analyzing your behavior, but technically, cognitions do not equal behavior.

N vs S, for example, is about how you process information. N tends to add interpretation/meaning: symbols, hidden meanings, patterns, connections etc. S is more WYSIWYG: What You See Is What You Get. Another way of discerning N from S is saying that N is more concerned with the abstract, the bigger picture, and S is more about the concrete, the details. But I'm generalizing, the reality is a tad more complex than this.

Intro/extravertedness is about the attitude/direction of your functions. If you have Ne, it means your N is directed outwards: it's playing field is outside, the external world. Ni is the opposite. Ne takes objects in the outer world as they are, but is bent on finding connections between these objects, patterns, connections. Ni takes objects from the outer world inside, adding meaning to what objects are by using symbols, metaphors etc. Again, I generalize. ^^;

When one's dominant function is extraverted, one can expect behavior that is congruent with the social meaning of extrovert: outgoing, sociable, people-seeking etc. And vice versa, when one's dominant function is introverted, one can expect behavior that is similar to the social meaning of introvert: withdrawn, quiet, people-avoiding etc. It is not so much that people really are introverts or extroverts, it's just that their most preferred function is directed either outward or inward, and thus people prefer spending their time in that way.

But hey, don't weigh my words too heavy, since I'm still learning about MBTI myself. ^^

Having said that, I can try helping you a bit with what you posted.

I am having difficulty discerning whether I am actually INFP, [...] I am experiencing so much turmoil because of the stress.
Yeah, stress like that is no fun :( And uncertainty about your type can add extra stress to your epxerience.

I know that I'm a type 4 enneagram, [...] and sometimes have to ask that my intense friends "tone it down."
When your S and N are evenly divided according to type tests, it means the tests have difficulties telling you whether you have mostly N or S with certainty. For instance, 100% N would mean the test is absolutely sure you prefer N over S. I'm not sure if this is valid for all type tests, but so far I think that most tests are set up this way. Your introverted behavior can indeed be a result of nurture. If you have a dominant function that is introverted, you could see that as 'nature' I suppose.

Your *feelings* about who you can trust and who you cannot sounds like Ni to me, coupled with Si.

What do you mean with 'intense'? Do you mean prone to being inharmonious? Or intensely expressive?

I tend to reach greater understanding of ideas and concepts by mulling them over and subsequently talking about the ideas. [...] As I said, I like to understand people without getting too close.
It is more Ni-like to take a concept and look at it from multiple angles, whereas it is more Ne-like to see the concept in it's context, relating it to other concepts.

Spending time thinking about people's drives and their relationships is something I could ascribe to both F and T - given the topics that you see in the INFP forums every now and then about xNTx people trying to understand emotions. I'd say it depends on how you analyze these drives and relationships that will tell you whether it's F or T.

I was raised to value loyalty and physical modesty, as well as fidelity within relationships. Often, I fess up to mistakes I have made because there is this feeling that I need to admit to my hypocrisies, to let others know that I don't fancy myself as perfect. I used to be really self-sacrificing in that respect and have had to learn self-preservation. I'm really self-deprecating.
I suppose it depends on what you exactly mean with self-sacrificing, but in this context, I'd say it's more Fe than Fi, since Fe is more prone to go against personal values to adapt/please/help/preserve harmony. Fi does this as well, but is pretty good at standing up and protect personal values.

I'm not sure about your type. I'm also not sure where you describe your 'normal' behavior and where you describe your 'depressed' behavior. But I do hope this helps you a bit further.

If you haven't read this yet: http://personalitycafe.com/cognitiv...iled-descriptions-each-function-attitude.html, it's a good read that may help you understand your type better ^^
 

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Any reason this thread has 15views but no one has cared to speculate? Maybe this is the wrong place to put this discussion, but I figured since I primarily post in the INFP forum anyway, you would all have a decent familiarity with my posts...if that helps.
It just took me a... lot of time. Sorry. ^^;
 
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Thanks, @eyenexepee.

It is difficult to describe the way that I process thoughts. Maybe I need to wait to figure this out when I'm less acutely stressed. In regards to being self-sacrificing, I think I am more self-sacrificing in terms of my reputation. I have a hugely difficult time when I feel I am mis-representing myself. I truly identify with the INFP sentiment of valuing authenticity. If something does not seem authentic, I have no use for it unless it also strictly functional.

I seem to be able to switch between Fi and Fe, depending on the context. If I am close to someone, I am more likely to be expressive of emotions and in-tune with their way of seeing things. However, I think Fi dominates on a daily basis. I am very much aware of my feelings and the internal milieu. I have learned to edit myself for the sake of harmony, but I will pick my battles if I am feeling especially brave or if the issue is key for me... Then the claws come out. (But this doesn't happen often.) I have difficulty attending to anyone else until my needs are met. With the situation of my husband being in the hospital, I took every opportunity to leave his bedside and let his mother take care of him (not only because she was driving me crazy, but because I needed to decompress on my own.) I often see emotional situations in terms of how I would feel if I were going through the situation. I had a huge argument with a 'T' person over whether it is possible to empathize with someone without actually having experienced the situation. (he had me pretty pissed...) In fact, I don't know if that's Fi or If that's how all people relate. In terms of decision-making, I will often decide whether or not to do something based on how altruistic the decision is, or what greater good will come of it, as opposed to trying to please everyone.

By intense, I mean high-energy. Whether it's emotional or physical, I really prefer a lighter touch. I am deeply uncomfortable with overt displays of affection, especially from people I don't know well. It takes a lot of effort to let people in to my physical bubble.

Anyway, I'm not sure if this helps at all. I truly believe I am an introvert and a feeler, but in the most literal since of the term, I am a laid-back, spontaneous, go-with-the-flow Perceiver. The N and the S are the most difficult to tease out because I think I use both in different situations.
 

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Sorry for what you are going through! Under stress, when I take a cognitive function test, it results in a very different way than when I take it when I am not as much as stressed. I can take those tests five times and score differently each time under stress, especially when there are prolonged periods of stress and anxiety. Consequently, from my experience, I would avoid testing until things get better. You also mentioned that "I have a penchant for understanding concepts, but have trouble with anything task-oriented" That sound more like N to me than S because S is more about hand-on-approach and easily task-oriented, but N is all about abstractions, concepts, theories. College helped me to develop my S better (task-orient) because of my value to complete it = gain academic success. However, that was in my 30s, I was not as task oriented in my 20s - much more scattered, which still happens due to anxiety and stress as well. Fi types react badly if their values are stepped on, but we also avoid confict for prolonged time until it is too much too handle - until we explode. If you pick your battles, it does not mean you are automatically Fe, but you learned it is not worth your effort and inner peace to fight with people who will not change their opinion about you anyway. Also, you mentioned that you are self-sacrificing this could be because of Fi too not only Fe, if this is the value that is important to you. Peoples’ ennegrams play role in this = complete tritype. This is how much I can help because that is how much I know. I hope I am not wrong because I am often confused when other people explain MBTI, and I thought I just learned it. IT is not that I avoided to help, but I am not sure whether I can help.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
I filled out the questionnaire. Not sure if I'll get anyone to bite on the "What's my type"forum, though. Much less active...


INFP, ISFP, or ISFJ?
1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
The 'N' vs. 'S' component

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
Currently, I yearn for understanding of big picture stuff... The purpose of life, societal relations, things like that. I guess I yearn for existential meaning, and I am having a hard time coming to grips with some of the posits of science that have led me to conclude that life is inherently meaningless. (Booooohooooooo)

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
I can't really recall a specific time. I feel like I am at my finest when I am really getting my point across, am articulate, and of course getting positive feedback. I guess I like to be validated.

4) What makes you feel inferior?
Perceiving that I am surrounded by people who are more intelligent/more organized/more artistic/more likable than I am. But especially, more intelligent.

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
I tend to decide based on how something fits with my morals. Sometimes I'm concerned with how I will be viewed by others, but generally I like to follow my own moral code. If I feel I am doing something that will cause harm to someone else without having a bigger-picture good outcome, I will probably back off the decision.

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
I suppose I like to do research. I do not place heavy emphasis on control UNLESS I think I have a really good idea or I feel my teammates are incompetent.

7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
I remember (though rather poorly) having a good time with a friend the last summer of high school. We spent a lot of the summer hiking and talking. In felt connected to him, and special to him, in a way. As I looked up to him, I felt that being allowed to have this special time with him qualified me for some degree of specialness. We had quite a few moments of standing or sitting in awe of natural wonder. I guess I had some magical, free-feeling sensations as well.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)
Probably to theorize. I don't care too much for memorization unless the subject calls for it. I like to apply concepts I already underarms to the new subject.

9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?
Not very. It takes a lot of effort and simplification in order for me to get and stay organized.

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
Usually I will take a look at the principles to see if they make sense.

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
Depends on the situation. If indent really like or am offended by a group or a person, I will not make much of an effort to maintain harmony... I will just keep quiet and speak up if I am really offended. For people I like, I will make more of an effort to maintain harmony. The closer I am, the more likely I am to speak up for myself.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
Usually I like to think before speaking, though occasionally I will blurt some things out.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
I tend to look before leaping. I am concerned that my actions do not always match up to the assertions that I make.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
Depends on my energy level, the friends, and what they are proposing we do! I dont jump at opportunities to socialize and prefer some notice. If I feel like going out, I will offer to meet them later. If that's not a possibility, I may decide to catch the show on hulu the next day. I don't really like hectic club scenes. I. Am usually more interested in small group settings.

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
I can get really irritable towards people with whom I am close. Sometimes I will have angry outbursts. I am withdrawn and sullen around those with whom I am not close.

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
Anyone who is really intense or demanding emotionally, or who has trouble controlling the volume of their voice. I dislike people who force their views on others and are inconsiderate of others' feelings when making decisions or who have no ability to see from multiple points of view.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
Personality theory, spirituality, philosophy, health and wellness, mind-body connection, those kinds of things.

18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life?
This is a hard question... Probably my looks, at least compared to other women my age.


19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
Introverted but kooky. Creative, analytical, kind, possibly intellectual, a good listener. Honestly, I don't think I am very creative and I could stand to be kinder and more considerate. I don't think my friends would ever call me cocky or boisterous or mean.

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
Reading, watching TV, going for a walk, possibly window shopping. Messing around online... Climbing a tree, gardening, hiking, horseback riding...
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Bump.........
 
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