[JJMTBC]

I am generally attracted to introverts, and I find that many introverted men with whom I've casually dated do not text back hardly at all. I mean, I have to ask them a very specific question to get a response. It bothers me because it makes my intuition completely useless, and I have to work really hard at not putting thoughts into their heads.

I'm not much of a phone person, texting is basically how I keep in touch with guys when I am beginning the "dating" stage. I'm usually always in an exploration stage where there is not quite enough of a relationship established between the guys I am "talking to" to actually have a voiced-phone conversation.
Seeing them in person is absolutely fine, but some live far-ish and is not conducive with our busy schedules.

What are other peoples' experiences with texting and relationships, and the interactions of personality types?!

 

[Thrifty Walrus]

I am very introverted and I don't really respond to texts either if it's just a "whats up", or "hi", texting was invented (imo) so you could respond at your leisure, those texts imply that you want an immediate response, which if you wanted that why not just call? I may be overcomplicating it but that's my take on it.

 

[JJMTBC]

I agree with that, but I'm referring to also texting, and just responding at all. My friends and the people I know, including myself communicate primarily via texting. And I just don't like talking on the phone unless I absolutely have to. And, regarding relationships, sometimes it's too soon to talk on the phone and would feel awkward.

 

[Aerorobyn]

I'm generally attracted to Introverted types as well when it comes to dating. To be more specific, I'm usually drawn towards IxTx types. Yeah... I absolutely LOVE texting, and that's pretty much how I communicate with potential "lovers" until I get to know them more, and then we can move to talking on the phone.

But ugh, I hardly ever get responses from them. It actually annoys me and makes me a bit sad-ish at the same time, because I never know if I said something wrong, if I'm messaging them too much, or whatever. :crazy:

I dated an INTJ for two years. The beginning stage, before we got to know each other very well, he would hardly ever respond to my texts. If I asked a question in a text, he would end up calling to answer it. :dry: *Sigh* Ok, whatever. But now, we've known each other for like three years, and he usually responds without a problem.


But yeah, I text A LOT. There are a few people on here who I text, and a few people who have seen me text... you could ask them - I pretty much text back immediately, and pretty quickly. :tongue: And I expect that from others as well, so it annoys me when I don't get quick responses, haha.

 

[JJMTBC]

yessss, I feel the same way! It's like, I don't want to bother them, but I start to get concerned that they may not be interested, and just stupid stuff, lol.

 

[SlowPoke68]

I think that might be a guy thing.

Guys tend to not be verbal.

Except me.

 

[AllintheMind11]

When I text, it's like an email. I don't want to talk to you for long at all, but I'll go into great detail. Usually my text conversations last about 3 or 4 texts. I never send texts that say simple stuff like "hey" or "what's up." It actually annoys the hell outta me when people expect me to respond to them just because I have a phone.

Then again, I'm not really much of a phone guy, but when I'm on the phone, it's hard to get me off.

 

[JJMTBC]

I think that might be a guy thing.

Guys tend to not be verbal.

Except me.

I don't know if it really is a guy thing. I know some guys who have been interested in me, and I may not feel similarly who text back rapidly and often. Even to the point of keeping the conversation going all day.

Maybe it's just a matter of interest?

 

[Keno]

i'll just contribute a few thoughts, as i do not do relationships. it might not be entirely helpful, though i am an introvert.

texting is irritating. most people that mainly communicate by text that i know want to continue the conversation the entire day. not my thing. i can tolerate longer messages that actually inform me of something, ask a question or even tell a story, but the short ones are ridiculous and it's like, okay, you can stop pestering me now.

i'm not a phone person and i never call people, yet i'd prefer you tell me what ever it is in a matter of minutes instead of wasting my entire day via text to get to the point. if there even is a point. and after a few worthless texts, i will ignore you. if you expect me to be the one to do all the entertaining and uphold the conversation (since "hey, what you doing, that's cool" is never going to be interesting), i will also ignore you.

i never understood people that go out with their buds and then, as they are all doing their thing, start texting other people.. instead of pay attention to the ones right in front of them. but i'm sure you aren't as inconsiderate as to do that. i know, a bit off topic. moving on~ okay, if i'm out and about, it irks me to get a notification every two seconds. i reserve any "texting" for when i'm not going to be bothered by it - when i'm at home, can respond right away (most people expect you to respond pronto, right?) and am obviously in the mood. my texting is usually fueled by instant messengers, however, and not my phone. and it's a bit different.

despite all this, i'm an INTJ. i only have a few close "friends" and as such, i don't have to keep up with that many people. i don't care to keep up with that many people. the rest of the population may have a large list of acquaintances and texting could be easier regarding that scenario, while calling seems adequate to me.

you say you get to know your guys by text, which means you probably at least try to make the conversation intriguing.. therefore it may not be as terrible. i can see why they'd only respond to questions though - i know the majority of my texts are answering a question. i'm not interested unless it's interesting, you get me? and unless you succeed in finding a topic that's enjoyable for both of you to text about, questions are going to be appealing, in my opinion. so! i guess if you make your texting stimulating in some fashion, it can be warranted.

 

[Quin Sabe]

I don't mind texting, I like it most of the time, as long as it is interesting conversation. I have hard time keeping txt conversation going with out it deteriorating into a small talk bore fest. I don't initiate texts very often, but I will respond to them. I also don't want bug people, I know texting/talking can get old so I do it sparingly. Now, if I know well enough I don't mind starting but, I prefer in person over anything else. In relationships well, I kinda play it by ear according to who I'm talking to.

 

[SaraBell]

I am an introvert (though I'm not a guy), and I cannot stand it when people don't respond to my texts so I always respond to others...so I don't think it's an introvert thing (unless that's just a quirk of mine). Of course my texts are generally straight and to the point so most people don't text me for conversation; if they did, I might ignore it meaning to answer later when I feel like it or have a good reply...and I'd probably forget about it.

 

[sarek]

When my gf and me just started we did a huge amount of texting. I think we got to three thousand texts in my inbox alone inside a year and I know I sent more than I received.
We are both extremely phone shy. Face to face is perfect. Mail and text is perfect. Chat was hard at first but perfect now. But the phone remains a problem.

 

[SlowPoke68]

When my gf and me just started we did a huge amount of texting. I think we got to three thousand texts in my inbox alone inside a year and I know I sent more than I received.
We are both extremely phone shy. Face to face is perfect. Mail and text is perfect. Chat was hard at first but perfect now. But the phone remains a problem.

My GF and I text constantly about everything. When I get a voice call I know either something serious is up with her or she thinks something is up with me. Talking on the phone seems awkward and taxing these days.

 

[JJMTBC]

you say you get to know your guys by text, which means you probably at least try to make the conversation intriguing.. therefore it may not be as terrible. i can see why they'd only respond to questions though - i know the majority of my texts are answering a question. i'm not interested unless it's interesting, you get me? and unless you succeed in finding a topic that's enjoyable for both of you to text about, questions are going to be appealing, in my opinion. so! i guess if you make your texting stimulating in some fashion, it can be warranted.

I do not get to know a guy via text messaging. I just like to maintain contact, and I am not the gal who will text a guy all day. I just like to exchange a text or two here and there to know that there are thoughts and inquiries. I enjoy this to occur on a daily/bi-daily basis. With my full-time job, part-time job and grad school, being on the phone is the last thing I want to do. I think about all the other things I could be doing while on the phone, even when talking to someone I am interested in. Thus, texting is a good way to maintain some contact while I'm running around. But, no matter what, being with someone in person is much preferred. However, sometimes being with someone in person often is not a feasible option for people with busy schedules.

Besides, how can us N's use our intuition when there is no conversation with which we can think intuitively?

 

[Slider]

I never want to appear too interested in someone, so generally, I will only respond to questions. However, I have been known to break this rule.

Also, being an introvert has nothing to do with my texting frequency. I simply limit my texting, because I feel that if I shower someone with too much attention, I will quickly appear needy or co-dependent and, therefore, unattractive.

 

[Selden]

I am generally attracted to introverts, and I find that many introverted men with whom I've casually dated do not text back hardly at all. I mean, I have to ask them a very specific question to get a response. It bothers me because it makes my intuition completely useless, and I have to work really hard at not putting thoughts into their heads.

I'm not much of a phone person, texting is basically how I keep in touch with guys when I am beginning the "dating" stage. I'm usually always in an exploration stage where there is not quite enough of a relationship established between the guys I am "talking to" to actually have a voiced-phone conversation.
Seeing them in person is absolutely fine, but some live far-ish and is not conducive with our busy schedules.

What are other peoples' experiences with texting and relationships, and the interactions of personality types?!

Strange, I enjoy texting, although I'm certainly not a textaholic. I find it much easier to text something more personal/honest than when I talk to someone, until I get to know them well enough that is.

 

[Keno]

I do not get to know a guy via text messaging. I just like to maintain contact, and I am not the gal who will text a guy all day.

i must have misinterpreted when you called it your exploration stage. oh well.

 

[Outcode]

I dunno, I tend to always text back as fast as I can. I don't like to keep people waiting and my mindset is if you've taken the time to text me, the least I can do is to text you back as soon as possible. Plus, like Sarabell said, I don't like it when people don't text me back soon; it makes me nervous and impatient.

Lately, I haven't been engaging conversations via texting though. It just feels very pointless to me now... like I'm not getting anywhere. Talking on the phone kind of gets awkward for me, I prefer talking to the person face to face even though I'm a shy introvert. It's just more intimate that way and I have a better chance of reading body language and listening to the tone of what they're saying. You just can't do that with texting. :frustrating:

 

[JJMTBC]

yes, in person is always preferred, but with all the new technology, in person dating and exploring seems to be fading more and more

 

[JJMTBC]

i must have misinterpreted when you called it your exploration stage. oh well.

I mean, I can see why you may have gotten that impression. But, to clarify, of course, I would like to "get to know" someone is person. By exploration, I mean exploring a person in terms of personality, and interpersonal means of interaction, especially when face to face contact isn't immediately available.