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That embarrassing INFJ moment when...

[INFJ] 
5K views 69 replies 38 participants last post by  Ashneversleeps 
#1 ·
So I'm at the doctors for a migraine today right?
The doctors asking all these normal questions, then out of the blue she goes
"What's today?"
I was instantly confused! I'm just sitting there thinking:
"Does she mean what today's pain rating is?" "is today a holiday?" "Does she mean "what does today mean to you?" ' 'Does she mean what are your goals for today?" "Is today the day you're reclaiming life? Chasing your dreams?" "Hopes for the day?" "Thoughts?"
I eventually asked if she was referring to my headache and she just shook her head and said "Just answer the question."
After more thinking I decided to, on a whim, say "April 4."
She accepted that answer and moved on.
Easy as that.
So, this got me thinking, anyone else have moments when they were all in a deep INFJ tangem, when it was unnecessary ? Did this create an awkward situation? I'd love to hear stories :happy:
 
#2 ·
I can relate to this - have been caught out in a similar way, but can't think of any examples right now.

"What day is it?" ("wednesday") or "what's today's date?" ("4th april") would be clear but yes, "what's today?" is probably a bit vague.

What I find frustrating in these situatiions is that the other person probably doesn't have any insight into how/why their question caused difficulties. Was that your impression yesterday?

Just thought - you could have said "I dunno, is it your birthday?"
 
#3 ·
Yes, that's happened to me. In fact, I almost failed a lie detector test (was applying for a public safety position that required sensitive information on documents) because I panicked at the possibility that I had aided someone in a criminal activity without realizing it. I also panicked over the questions "Is today January 28th?" and "Is today Thursday?" My first reaction: "Shit, is it? What is today?" He said my heart rate was 170 for most of the test. It didn't help that he had questioned me on several subjects prior to the test that had NOTHING to do with what would be required in the position itself. It had already set me on edge in the first place.

I passed the test, but then the position was ripped out from under me because another department filled a similar position first.
 
#6 ·
Oh yes. There was a time in English class the teacher asked us a "critical thinking" question about the reading. I don't remember the question, but the entire class just sat there blinking stupidly. I had thought of one answer, but because it was "critical thinking" I thought that one was too easy and kept going on.

Well, eventually the teacher gave up and just told us the answer--it had been the one I had already thought of. The whole class went "ohhhhhhh" and I'm sitting there in my corner going "Well, duh..."
 
#9 ·
The thing is, if we're just a wee bit astute, I think we can usually tell what answer they're looking for and If i'm in an agreeable mood, I'll give it to them. If not, or if I feel that I'm being put in a position where I have to suffer a fool, all bets are off. ballerinaintherain, you could have really messed with her if you wanted to, but then again, you might have found yourself being held for psychiatric evaluation, LOL! "What's today?" Back in the day, we would have said, "the first day of the rest of your life." I wonder if your doctor, (neurologist?), would have found that "acceptable".
 
#11 ·
I can't tell you how happy I am that I'm not the only one who does this!!!!! "What's today?" may be a simple question for others, but I totally took it the wrong way :p
I'm slightly embarrassed now because I'm sure my expression was not a pretty one....
LOL I totally could have used one of your guys' witty answers...Next time ;) I was wishing that I knew some of those strange holidays like "hug a squirrel day" and such so I could have replied with one of those :p
 
#13 ·
hahhaha! This makes me laugh because I was JUST ranting about this earlier tonight.
It really frustrates me when I don't understand what someone is trying to get at because I see so many possibilities, and then the person usually acts like I am in idiot when I ask them to clarify.

My mother is the worst at that. She will come home from being gone all day and literally say things like "Oh! I found the store!" And I get confused, what store? It will be from a conversation we were having hours or even days ago.

A few days ago, I was about to hang out with a friend. I agreed to hang out. He asked me "What time?" I gave him a time. And then he asked "Any preference?" I thought "....preference? of time? I just told him that?" I asked him what he meant and he responded "ON WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO. Don't make me joke on you!"

I don't really see why that was funny since he wasn't being clear [in my eyes]. I really hate when people joke me about things like that since I don't feel like I am being unreasonable.
 
#14 ·
hahhaha! This makes me laugh because I was JUST ranting about this earlier tonight.
It really frustrates me when I don't understand what someone is trying to get at because I see so many possibilities, and then the person usually acts like I am in idiot when I ask them to clarify.

My mother is the worst at that. She will come home from being gone all day and literally say things like "Oh! I found the store!" And I get confused, what store? It will be from a conversation we were having hours or even days ago.

A few days ago, I was about to hang out with a friend. I agreed to hang out. He asked me "What time?" I gave him a time. And then he asked "Any preference?" I thought "....preference? of time? I just told him that?" I asked him what he meant and he responded "ON WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO. Don't make me joke on you!"

I don't really see why that was funny since he wasn't being clear [in my eyes]. I really hate when people joke me about things like that since I don't feel like I am being unreasonable.
This example is a bit different in that it's a failure to see any possibilities. This isn't a criticism - i experience this as well. So sometimes we see too many possibilities and other times we can't make even one possibility out of what we've heard.

A paradox: this example could be seen as a failure to read between the lines - something INFJs are often seen as extremely good at. Perhaps the successful reading between the lines is when it happens unconsciously and the failure happens when we try to do it consciously?

@ballerinaintherain tangem - was that a typo?
 
#17 ·
I was asked by my math professor to fill in the missing numbers from a sequence, it was like 5,10,7,14,11,22... and for the life of me I was over-complicating it a lot and ended with a ridiculous number like 523 or something like that. Moments after I had uttered the answer, I was "oh man, I'm stupid. This problem was so simple." I had to resist the urge to slap myself afterwards:frustrating:
 
#19 ·
I love it when I'm having a conversation with someone who isn't actually there and then I find out that my roommate's been home the whole time.

Also, when somebody has to repeat something about four or five times before I understand it, although that could be a me thing, and not an INFJ thing. It's like all I hear is noise... I know that there are words in it, but my brain just isn't picking them out.
 
#23 ·
Also, when somebody has to repeat something about four or five times before I understand it, although that could be a me thing, and not an INFJ thing. It's like all I hear is noise... I know that there are words in it, but my brain just isn't picking them out.
I have that problem, too. It's like my brain suddenly forgets what English is. I usually use the excuse that my allergies have been acting up and I'm having difficulty hearing. Though I've met some people who I'll admit that suddenly I didn't understand what they're saying and they'll say, in a slightly relieved manner, "Oh yeah, I have that problem too." (Actually, did you know that saying you have difficulty hearing is a great way to get people aren't confident in their ability to speak English to speak the language wonderfully well and clearly? They'll take much more time to pronounce their words and speak in a normal voice--as opposed to the mumble they were using before.)

It'll even happen if I'm thinking about a word, suddenly, my mind has deconstructed the word so completely that I don't even recognize it as a word I already know. For example, in thinking of the word "window", I might unconsciously be so busy pulling apart and looking at the word that my conscious mind goes, "What does window mean?" "Is that even a word?!" And then a few seconds later I remember, and then feel silly.

I wonder if it's some kind of seizure....
 
#20 ·
Yeah, I always feel stupid because I ask people to clarify as someone else said. Better than answering the question wrong I guess though I've done that too. I'm not convinced this is an INFJ thing though.

I wish people would communicate better as someone else said. When people ask my ENFJ husband at work if they've seen his boss that day, he just answers with "yes" even though he knows what they're really asking (where is she?) so it forces them to communicate better lol. It upsets them to no end but people really should think about how they word things more because it can be very confusing!
 
#21 ·
I have this happen :) I'm very cautious, so I like to know if I interpreted something right. This can lead to long confusing conversations where me and the person both try to work out what the other is trying to ask and them repeating themselves in very slightly different ways until I just take a guess.

Funnily enough, when my sister says 'Oh, we need to get that thing today' I almost always know what she means. But if someone asks me what day it is or what I'm writing about, I can never tell them :) Ah, fun times...
 
#24 ·
Well, I have kinda a different problem, but similar I guess. Like, my whole life...time is completely meaningless to me unless I attach a specific reference point to it: for instance, someone would ask me: "What time is it?" and I'd answer "6:30" and unless, I attach some kind of reference point like, if I'm at work, "well I'll be going on my break at such and such a time" or if I'm at home, "such and such TV show is supposed to come on at this time or I'm supposesed to be somewhere at this other time,..." then I'll either say the time and completely forget a few seconds later or say the time and be like: "6:30? What does that really mean?"
 
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#26 ·
That's really interesting. Have you researched this at all? Almost certainly you'll find it's been identified by someone and given a name. Sounds maybe a bit like a kind of dyslexia - a kind of "time blindness" (?)
 
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#25 ·
Also I have a lot of fun with this sort of thing with my ENFJ friend. I think I bring out his Ni a lot more to the forefront, but sometimes both of us will purposely manipulate the other person's words so that it'll sound insulting on purpose. Yeah, we have kinda weird definitions of "fun" sometimes. Like I'll ask a couple of things, texting and he'll text back, "No" to one of them and I'll be like "No, you don't want to hear from me again, lol" or something like that if that was the other question, and he usually ends up having to spell out what he had said explicitly. Sometimes, too, I'll pretend I took a joke literally...although sometimes, I have to admit I do take what he says literally, and that in itself usually leads to interesting conversations....l
 
#27 ·
Sometimes I act like a wise ass when people ask me the day of the week, saying stuff like "why it's today, of course! what other day would it be?" yet there's other times when I look at the clock, staring at it, and then somebody asks me the time and I say "I don't know... wait, now or are you asking when we're doing something?".
 
#28 ·
There's this advertising sign on the way to work that I see all the time and it drives me nuts every time I see it. It's advertising for a divorce lawyer and it says in big bold letters, "SIMPLE DIVORCE?" followed by a phone number.
Is divorce simple?
Marriage is hard. Divorce is simple?
Do I want a simple divorce?
Do you want a simple divorce?
Is the divorce process simple?
Does your spouse want a simple divorce?
Is divorce actually difficult, but with the help of this guy it can be simple?
Marriage problems? Simple: Divorce.
Is divorce too simple?
Is divorce not simple enough?
It's actually a trick. Divorce isn't simple. But it says it is!

Stupid sign...My brain hurts every time I see it, but I can't stop myself from looking at it. Like some train wreck.
 
#29 ·
I've discovered that I can usually come to the right conclusion about what their asking if I REALLY try, but I really hate to assume I know what anyone means unless it was explicitly stated.

I worry that my INTJ thinks that I'm slow or something, but really there are just so many things he could be trying to say or ask. And he actually matters, so he's the last person I want to jump to a conclusion with. I used to risk being totally wrong to show him I could narrow down to what he's really trying to say, but it's a risk I hate to take when I could just ask for clarification. Now I give the him several of my interpretations to show him that I really am thinking and he picks out the one he meant (the most).
 
#30 ·
I'm going to keep taking the MBTI until it comes out INFJ.
I never think about the literal question either, I think about the follow up and where they are trying to go with it. I'm not worried or suspicious about the motivation behind the question, I just want to help expedite the process so we both know we're on the same thinking path.
Of course then those people get annoyed when you can't just answer a simple question.
 
#32 ·
This thread also makes me think of what I called the "expectation paradox": when I was younger, I wanted to find someone to fall in love with and marry, so whenever we'd go somewhere where I could meet someone, I'd be like, "maybe I'll find someone," but then I'd tell myself, "well, it won't happen if you expect it," so I would say, "so then I won't meet anyone because I expected it..." then I would say, "Well now that I gave up on that idea, I might meet someone..." and continue this internal loop til I get bored with it and decide to think of something else.
 
#36 ·
There are two types of questions that really grate my cheese:

Questions with no context: Example: What's today? Like OP pointed out, we have no idea what they are referring to, so in order to answer the question, we have to pick a context. If I don't know the context of what the asker is wanting, what value is the answer? What if I chose "What's todays lunch plans"... I am sure a doctor cares that I plan to pay my electric bill on lunch. What's today? Today is a word, is that what youre asking? Gah that question grates on me the more I think about it lol.

Questions that don't specify the point: Example: Do you find yourself getting attached to characters in TV Soaps? I don't know if this question is asking if I get attached to characters in TV shows in general, and the questions used "Soaps" as an example *OR* is it asking do I get attached to characters specifically in Soaps? My answer is purposefully different for both, so I don't know how to answer this kind of question.
 
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