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INTJs supposedly set high standards for themselves and, at times, others. What is that one thing that you cannot seem to overlook? That one thing that always seems to make or break any type of relationship; that one thing that seems to override any feelings you might have for another person (friendship or romantic).

For me, that one thing is being delusional—when a person lies to themselves.
 

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When they can't follow the facts and are stuck on some believe that's wrong but they won't admit even if they know it could kill them.

I so hate that. It means it doesn't matter what you say, they´re stuck in that believe.

But I learned that if you come up with something that makes no sense but is a feeler logic, you can get the discussion going again. A lot of time wasted on, first, figuring out that they´re stuck on a believe, and second, something to destroy that believe. (Most of the time I'm not successful, but with time my success rate is going up.)
 

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My opinion of people can be lowered very easily, but I usually do not break the relationship. At least, completely.

Mine's are when people's interests, actions, principles or beliefs are either too stereotypical, unreasonable or just plain stupid or illogical. My first impression of you would be that you do not have a very high intellect, but as long as they possess some overall positive trait I can mostly get along with them due to what society has molded me into, and that I'm not pure evi-...I mean judgmental. But to what degree, it depends...

Bah. I'm overlooking into this.
 

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When they can't follow the facts and are stuck on some believe that's wrong but they won't admit even if they know it could kill them.

I so hate that. It means it doesn't matter what you say, they´re stuck in that believe.

But I learned that if you come up with something that makes no sense but is a feeler logic, you can get the discussion going again. A lot of time wasted on, first, figuring out that they´re stuck on a believe, and second, something to destroy that believe. (Most of the time I'm not successful, but with time my success rate is going up.)
I would like to learn this technique. What kind of thing might you say in feeler logic that could destroy their belief? Might you have an example?
 

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absence of logic
 

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For me that one thing is "logic standard". The source of most conflicts around me.

I hate talking to religious folks because it is very hard to persuade them with logic.
Conspiracy-theory-like faiths believing that they know something others don't know: a stubborn feeler "logic" (I hate to even say it's logic because it is too damn obvious it is stubborn & obsessive & subjective & emotional blob of nonsense.)
Of absolute religious doctrines that only lose its credibility as science advances.

It's my sadness that their awareness of this world can only go that far (It's something innate in them that's very hard to fix.)
 

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Absolutely. Disrespect can manifest in so many ways too. Also, disrespect to others, not just the SO.
I deliberately made it generic. I would say disrespect to the person itself is the most toxic of all. I will never again go there.
 

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Oh, a lot of things.

1. Disrespect towards me. I couldn't care less about other people, but if my partner doesn't respect me, her ass will be dumped accordingly.
2. Lack of logic and being overly emotional.

These two are the real dealbreakers for me tbh.
 

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Disrespect. That is the one thing that would murder any relationship dead.
The more that I have thought about it, yes, disrespect is at the top. Logic follows closely though.
 

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Disrespect has got to be my number one thing. I do not tolerate rude behavior, immaturity, insensitivity, vicious remarks, yelling, screaming, abuse, or anything that is demeaning to my character. These are all under the umbrella of disrespect.
 

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There are two things for me. They're about equal on the spectrum of things that will make me instantly lose interest.
  1. Manipulation. I hate being played and lied to.
  2. Telling me that they've "figured out" how I think and then explaining their theory. They're never correct.
 

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There are two things for me. They're about equal on the spectrum of things that will make me instantly lose interest.
  1. Manipulation. I hate being played and lied to.
  2. Telling me that they've "figured out" how I think and then explaining their theory. They're never correct.
Sounds like EVERY xNTP I have ever known.
 
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