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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
When I say depressed, I mean it in the literal sense. Depression, it can strike anyone, and even if ENFP's seem happy go lucky 24/7, they've got a dark side too. More often than not it will not come out because of the ENFP nature to always look on the bright side, but given a bad enough situation and a smack into reality, these are the stages of what a depressed ENFP will go through.


Stage One: ENFP will start feeling a bit lonely and disconnected. They will think it's just a stage that will pass, and will try to ignore it.

Stage Two: The ENFP will start feeling even more lonely, this can usually be brought about by having a hard time with family or feeling like they are insecure in their relationships in general. Stage One increases, and the ENFP will start feeling anxious.

Stage Three: The ENFP's feeling of anxiousness will become overbearing, and they may feel extremely insecure when talking to other people. They lose the quick wit and charm they used to have. The smile will because more nervous and the laugh will become less natural. They will still be trying to convince themselves it;s just a stage that they are going through and that nothing is wrong.

Stage Four: ENFP will most likely hit shut down mode. They will not talk to other people about their feelings or what is going on unless asked specific, prying questions. They will have a really hard time talking to people and feeling like they can relate. They will start coming across as an introvert.

Stage Five: The ENFP will be extremely stressed, lonely, and emotional. May start bursting out randomly and be extremely moody. Will experience periods of highs and lows. The ENFP may start crying over something seemingly insignificant. They will do this because there is so much bottled feelings up inside and that may have been the last thing to set them off edge.

Stage Six: The ENFP will start lashing out at other people like above, but more extremely. Will most likely show complete and utter disregard for authority. They will also start hurting the people they care about, to make them back off and go away. All the while the ENFP, through the stages, will try to convince themselves that nothing is wrong and that they will get better, and thus the problem worsens.

Stage Seven: They will finally admit to themselves that there is a problem but try consciously to contradict it. They will try to force themselves to relax and be wonderful again. They will try to establish the facts- what the problems is, how it went wrong, and what to do.

Stage Eight: If it gets worse at this point, the ENFP will not be acting like themselves at all. They will not be thinking clearly, and will most likely suffer from being illogical, irrational, and as well may suffer from extremely headaches. They will give up on caring and will not pay attention to the world around them, instead focusing all of their energy into their inner world of what they feel and dwell on it. They will no longer have any motivation to care or do the things they love.

Stage Nine: Your ENFP will start enjoying dark humor ad freaking other people out for the hell of it, especially the people they care about. However, at this stage they will not do this too extremely to the people they care about because their is that small piece of the ENFP that wants to hold the relationship in tact. They will push you away and drag you back in, and become and emotional roller coaster for anyone and everyone around them. If you ask what is wrong, the ENFP will completely shoot you down unless it is in a structured environment and they think that you are somebody that they can trust. However at this point the ENFP will become extremely untrusting, so talking to them about anything is much like walking on fragile glass about to fall apart and break forever. The ENFP will hold grudges.

Stage Ten: Complete personality turnaround, the ENFP will have lost it, or will have appeared to. Complete emotional instability and recklessness. They will be completely and utterly impulsive to the point of stupidity. They will not care about their well being or anybody else's. At this pion, the ENFP will be so far in their heads it will be nearly impossible to get through to them unless you sink to his or her own level of insanity and instability. They will have given up on life altogether, and will most likely have forgotten what it was like to really feel alive and well again.​


I've seen about 2 extremely unhealthy ENFP'd in my lifetime and this is what I have experienced. This is still in edit mode, basically a thesis, so please correct me if I'm wrong. I would like this to be as accurate as possible, and additional information would be great.​
 

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From a recovering ENFP, i did go through this o.o stage by stage. WOW

Stage One
:
Yes, this did happen. "It'll be alright", saying it to other people but in fact more to self.

Stage Two:
Yes, did happened. The anxiety was becoming intense.

Stage Three:
Yes, the anxiety became fully intense. Cannot use the same wonderful humor and persona around people like usual. Seem to lost the comical side of me."I used to be funny". Awkward around people.

Stage Four:
Yes, complete shut down. Can't understand people anymore. "leave me alone"

Stage Five:
Emotional. Hahah yes. Very. A roller coaster ride :D

Stage Six:
O.O yes, and then can't believe they did that. Then apologize. (or in my case) And think, it'll finally be alright now. But it's far from over.

Stage Seven:
Yes ^_^ this happened too. Wow. Try to relax and be wonderful again :D ahha i did this word for word.

Stage Eight:
This happened too O: right after stage 7. Became a hermit and just sleep.

Stage Nine:
Yes ^_^;;;; But not too extreme as describe. But i did became easily upset. Although, i finally talked to a friend before sinking into stage 10 and am alive again.


Although, some more to add for my case. I became hyper sensitive to failure. Try harder to please people early on. Felt more lonely and seek out more people at the anxiety stage. Got lost in my head in the later stage, completely zone out, lost in emotions, became unaware. Oh, and the blaming game in the later stages, self and others.
 

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This is what happened to my ENFP bf exactly. He is currently in stage 7, and I'm hoping he doesn't go to stage 8.

Anyone know how to help someone get out of this cycle?
What helped me was talking about everything, everything and everything. And just listen to him, don't tell him yet what he should or should not feel. Having someone right next to you, reassuring you "this too will pass" and they will be here and are here, helped me. But one point, he will have to choose himself to be okay again, no more feigning.
 

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Whoa! Stage 8 here. Don't know how to break free from this...I've almost already forgotten what it's like to feel happy...That stupid anxious feeling just doesn't want to go away even though I try hard to fight it back...I hate feelings. Actually at this point I hate everything and everyone :confused:
 

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I'm in Stage 3. I can tell just because of the way I have been writing as of late; the long sentences, complex and hopeless.

This seems correct, but I think you've left out the symbolism (or perhaps I'm just an ENFP obsessed with symbolism)... in my case, when I start getting around Stage 5 or 6, I turn "dark". This involved being intrigued with black, with roses, with stigmata, and I became dark in what others have said was very sexy.

I am always relating myself to things, animals, movies, situations, or words. Now that I'm in Stage 3, I've already set myself up for Stage 4, the Shut Down. My animal of the year (kind of like an animal totem, but without all the mumbo-jumbo stuff) is the Snow Leopard. I am literally trying to withdraw into myself. I am trying to become isolated, so I can ice up the wounds I've gotten from being too emotional.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
This is what happened to my ENFP bf exactly. He is currently in stage 7, and I'm hoping he doesn't go to stage 8.

Anyone know how to help someone get out of this cycle?
To get your ENFP out of this cycle. there are many things you can do, but it is going to be extremely tricky. Since all ENFP's are so different, even when they are all within the same type, one thing that will make a certain ENFP feel better may set a separate ENFP on the edge for good.

There's tricks. The number one thing I would recommend to get an ENFP out of this cycle is to tell them that you understand and accept that they are hurting. When they need to talk, listen. Do not give advice unless they ask, instead your highly emotional and intense ENFP will need emotional support. In this depressed state ENFP's can be extremely emotionally attached and clingy. If you can not deal with a clingy ENFP, do not bother, because if you leave after they open their heart up to you, this make make the situation all the worse. If you cannot handle an overemotional person, do not bother unless you think or know you are able to deal with it.

Lie to your ENFP. This is bad, do not do it unless you are a very, very, very good liar. ENFP's are very good at picking up on liars and insincere people. And when I tell you to lie, I mean it in the sense that you aren't trying to help them but instead trying to look out for their own good. This can and will go downhill very fast if you don't know exactly how to do it. Basically, you are bull shitting your ENFP into thinking you understand them completely and will do anything to go out of your way and make them feel better. Some level or part of you has to mean it, even a very small amount.

You have to convince your ENFP that life is worth living again. Ultimately, the ENFP is the only one who can change themselves, not you, so what you'd have to do is prove to them or show them everything they've forgotten about life. The light that your ENFP used to bring into your life needs to be reflected back into them. Do little things like buying them small gifts or write them little notes (in a relationship) to show them that you have been thinking about them throughout the day. Make them have reason to fel free again, to laugh and love. How you do this is by example. Do not overdo it, as in, do not come across as fake or shallow in any way. They may read this and shut down further.

Do not, ever, under any circumstance, tell your ENFP that their are people who have it worse than they do. This is the worst thing you can say, from what I can tell. They see this as telling them that everything they are feeling is wrong. This is also bad because it is telling them that the immediate situation that they percieve is not good enough to be upset about. Again, this is the worst thing you can say.


Whoa! Stage 8 here. Don't know how to break free from this...I've almost already forgotten what it's like to feel happy...That stupid anxious feeling just doesn't want to go away even though I try hard to fight it back...I hate feelings. Actually at this point I hate everything and everyone :confused:
Only time will tell if it will pass. Please do not force yourself to feel happy, this will make it worse. Have you tried talking to someone about it?

I'm in Stage 3. I can tell just because of the way I have been writing as of late; the long sentences, complex and hopeless.

This seems correct, but I think you've left out the symbolism (or perhaps I'm just an ENFP obsessed with symbolism)... in my case, when I start getting around Stage 5 or 6, I turn "dark". This involved being intrigued with black, with roses, with stigmata, and I became dark in what others have said was very sexy.

I am always relating myself to things, animals, movies, situations, or words. Now that I'm in Stage 3, I've already set myself up for Stage 4, the Shut Down. My animal of the year (kind of like an animal totem, but without all the mumbo-jumbo stuff) is the Snow Leopard. I am literally trying to withdraw into myself. I am trying to become isolated, so I can ice up the wounds I've gotten from being too emotional.
I had forgotten about the symbolism. Yes, because ENFP's make so many connections, they can make a lot of dark connections as symbolism when their brains start thinking in this reoccurring thought cycle. Black, roses, and everything you said are very good examples. They may also be tempted to torchure themselves in creative ways.They become overstressed and complicate anything and everything. They may also overanalyze and think about small things another person has said for days on end, obsessing over the meaning in it.
 

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I had forgotten about the symbolism. Yes, because ENFP's make so many connections, they can make a lot of dark connections as symbolism when their brains start thinking in this reoccurring thought cycle. Black, roses, and everything you said are very good examples. They may also be tempted to torchure themselves in creative ways.They become overstressed and complicate anything and everything. They may also overanalyze and think about small things another person has said for days on end, obsessing over the meaning in it.
Torturing myself in creative ways... yes, very much so. For the last two nights I have tried to stay up throughout the entire night because I didn't feel "worthy" of sleep... "I'm a writer. A creative. An inventor. Edison didn't sleep. I won't."

I went into this mode where I was like, "I can't sleep. I have to write. I have to write. I have to write or I'll never get better. If I can just do this tonight, I'll discover so many wonderful things..."

I fell asleep at about 2:00AM each time.

But this is bad because for me, this romantic tortured artist thing can be very addicting. Why must I be so immature??
 

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I haven't talked about it until yesterday. Most of the time I just make fun of myself, of my feelings. Talking is not easy. I feel too vulnerable. Anyway...I tried it and talking actually helps! Thank you :happy:
 

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This involved being intrigued with black, with roses, with stigmata, and I became dark in what others have said was very sexy.
Mmhmm. Cbelle, I could definitely see that. Please, oh please, get to that state again now that you're here with us.
 

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But this is bad because for me, this romantic tortured artist thing can be very addicting. Why must I be so immature??
i can relate to what you're saying.

my emo faze a few years ago was all about the drama. i was addicted to it, it gave me some kind of perverse pleasure. i resented the people around me, but at the same time i reached out for attention in a really childish way. i wanted everyone to know i didn't give a shit what they thought. i kind of romanticized the CONCEPT of being an emo.. luckily i never slipped into thinking there was NO hope, although it did get close. i think it was mostly about feeling powerless without my usual social skills, so i wanted to be able to control something about my life.

i remember my ex wrote in her "things i hate" section on bebo: people who pretend to be emo when really they're not. meaning me i spose, but she was wrong; ok i still seemed mostly normal- just not as charming and enjoyable, but even that is a bad sign where im concerned.

that was the worst it got, ive had little spells in stages 1-4 since, i think im stage 1 atm, but i know ill always get better, although its kind of frustrating because it depends on the people and the environment around me; i have no power to make MYSELF better, apart from trying to force myself to meet new people and enjoy myself.
 

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This is really on target for me, I'd simply assumed that I forgot how to be charismatic. I feel like a different person now completely.

Sounds so lame but the only thing that makes me happy at this point is direct praise, someone gives me a compliment and I light up and get hyper again. Only till the depression comes back and I'm an angry loner all over again...
 
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