your favorite dress, makeup, etc. It really does help boost confidence.).
Im new here but I was struck by your avatar before...(if its you) you're attractive; I'm not. I really hate it when pretty girls say that it's so easy to pick up/talk to guys because they don't even realize that guys are only falling at their laps because they're pretty. I wish I could walk into a bar, go to a guy and say "fuck meeeee" without them saying "ew, no thank you!" (this has never happened but i imagine it would).It really is an art lol.
I am not sure what you want but if it's just sex, what I'm learning is that guys (mostly ESXX) are rather simple...'act' confident and tell them what you want. Don't worry too much about rejection, etc. I'm experimenting with this assertive behavior now and it works...very well. The only reason I'm doing this is because I'm not in my usual feely state so I know I won't become attached.
um...dating...uh cant help much there be/c im still trying to figure it out. but most recently, i ran into a guy that i have a huge crush on at a party on friday and instead of being my usual self (running away and hiding), I went up to him, smiled a lot, and we ended up talking alone for awhile after the party (for people that i actually want to be in a relationship with, I dont initiate intimacy right away). So once again, le confidence. I have no confidence whatsoever lol, but I can put on an act. Try it.
lalalala ummm yea, I think that's about it. ALSO, when you go out, wear something that makes you feel beautiful
Thanks, it's good to know others go through the same thing lolMaybe try going up to somebody who interests you and compliment them on something relevant (necklace, shoes, book, name), and then try conversing about said 'something' or other relevant thing.
And if you do you will literally be better at "picking up" people than 70% of shy INFP's (like myself
That is not true, the biggest thing that determines attraction in 90% of all people is self-confidence. I have seen women unhealthily obese flaunting what they've got after years of low-self esteem, so even you can become a more confident person. First step might making yourself look better, which unlike grease promotes does not equate with dressing slutty, but can involve wearing a tasteful T-Shirt, blouse and skirt. Changing how you looks is not necessarily trying on a mask, but creatively expressing who you are to tothers (which many unhealthy people in genral forget). Once you change how you look on the outside, then start changing how you look on the inside by attempting to find your good points (INFP descriptions help me when I'm down) and accepting your bad points. Once you can believe in yourself, and try 'acting' more confident by smiling more or standing taller (I read somewhere that it is acting that affects your thinking, not the other way around). Once you can believe in yourself others will notice you and think, "hmm, she seems like a nice person," (and anybody who thinks otherwise is not worth your time).
ouchh :/ Well, I disagree. Being an introvert and shy is quite hard...no matter what you look like. From observing things, I have found that a person's personality matters much more (in terms of dating and getting attention). I am beginning to realize that I am attractive but i am not confident at all...I'm naturally shy, reserved, soft-spoken and throughout high school, yea i did have guys interested in me, but they never approached me...there's one thing to be looked at and then another thing to be approached.
I find overly confident people to be repulsive. I'd much rather talk with a normal or low self-esteem person. They are more interesting to me. The thin veneer of false confidence is rather transparent and a huge turn-off for me.
I agree with you that arrogance is repulsive, I am not asking her to do such a thing, but rather guide her on the way to real healthy confidence. First I feel that I must explain the difference between over-confidence (arrogance) and normal confidence is that when you are over-confident you are trying to hide your low self-esteem by appearing the opposite; meanwhile regular healthy confidence means that you accept yourself and your venurabilities and thus don't care too much (key word) about revealing them. So I can easily see where my idea of "fake it 'til you make it" seems to promote arrogance, but in reality the intent is not to fool others with this approach but really yourself. If you smile while in a dark mood the brain will think, "why am I smiling if I am am unhappy? If I am smiling I must be happy," thus the brain will 'fix' you by making you feeling lighter. The same will happen if you are not confident, your mind will fix your lack of self-confidence by making you feel more confident if you act that way (or it could be a self-image thing, where if you see yourself as confident in the streets then you will literally see yourself as confident). The intent of arrogant men is to hide their shameful secret of low-self esteem, and thus are always conscious of it; while faking confidence is trying to make you uncomsciously forget it until you make it real.
Exactly my point, any woman likes a confident man, any man likes a confident women. We intuitive types gain an advantage of being able to see past the facade of arrogance, thus we are less suspect to the overhyped 'bad guy/girl'. This usually leads us to the people who are honest enough to show it, and in our humanitarian hearts do what our lovely Icarus promotes (but only if we can gain the ability to crawl out of our pits first...).
I agree with this 100%.
Remember, no glove no love! Don't do it with some random guy unless you know him enough to believe him when he says he's clean!! Other than that, go be free!
Do you place any value on your virginity?
