Rhetorically speaking, is there really any difference(solicited and unsolicited advice)? All advice is opinion, unless maybe somebody manages to strike gold and speak the truth.
I know you are speaking rhetorically, but there are others who will read this thread with the same question.
1) There is usually a difference of respect. When someone tries to push advice on someone else, they are usually actively trying to decide for them and not respecting someone else's ability to make up their own mind.
2) A point made from a previous poster in this thread: Many times unsolicited advice comes from a place of judgement of the other person, while solicited advice, ime, usually comes from a judgement of the situation.
Basically there can be different motives/agendas behind each type and one type involves butting in to someone's life/crossing a boundary while the other involves a party opening up their boundaries to let someone in to give advice.
People dislike truth much more than opinion/unsolicited advice. They are afraid of it. Opinions they can take because they don't really care what others think anyways and it gives them a chance to talk back.
Probably depends on the person and the situation, but it sounds like you are talking about judgement of a person more that advice or "advice". It can be like "constructive" criticism (another thread in this subsection on the front page). Not all "constructive" criticism is constructive or helpful (some are if done properly and some are not when done improperly). Advice can be the same way. When you are judging the person and not the situation, it can be more of an attack. However, if one is looking at the situation with as little judgement as possible for the one receiving the advice, it may be more constructive as it can look at solutions and the needs of the individual and not just the (fair or unfair) expectations placed on said individual.
As far as truth, it only stings when we don't want to hear it lol and opinions can hurt less. That said, when it is the opinion of someone we care about and admire, their thoughts of us can sting a lot too lol.
I just wanted to be funny. Rather than ask for or supply concerned people with advice I'd do it differently and take it all away. I saw the irony in it and acted immediately.
I know you were trying to be funny, however, since you questioned the value of this sub-forum (will that have an impact? Who knows lol Does anyone care? Who knows lol), I thought it was fair to question your questioning :tongue:
For what it is worth, I do find this conversation interesting and I do feel like I am learning as I try to understand your point of view.
The suggestion still stands. You're better off deciding on your own otherwise you'll be living the lives of other people and what kind of life would that be? A mirage. Poetically - a mirage of dreams.
Let me look at it from another point of view:
A president of a country makes decisions. Would you trust that president or their decisions if they did not talk to and have a conversation with their expert advisers?
If a student is struggling to understand a topic, shouldn't they ask for help?
The think is, we are not going to see issues from all possible sides all the time on our own and we are not always going to know what to do or where to start. There is nothing wrong with that. It is called learning. When we seek out advice, we are learning. However, we still have to make the decision for ourselves and own that decision (we can not just blindly follow advice, just take it into consideration because we are ultimately responsible for our actions/decisions). No one, to my knowledge, is stating to not make your own decision.
As far as your statement about living the lives of other people, while I do think there is some truth to that (if you are blindly following someone else), there is also some falsehood. The falsehood is that it does not take into account how everyone's situations are always a little different and one person's experience does not always translate well to another person's situation (which is why advice should be a consideration and learned from, not just blindly obeyed). I would say there is semi-truth to your statement if someone blindly follows advice.
The more I think about it, the more I feel this discussion is important. To be specific, the discussion of "What role should advice play in one's life?" I think we touched on the topic of "When should someone give advice?" a little bit and that topic is important as well.