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On the ENFP board, we get a lot (I mean, A LOT) of posts about how INTJs are our most dreamy supercalifragelistic ideal romantic partners. I think there is some wisdom to the belief that certain Types might click most easily and naturally with certain other Types, but I also know that successful long-term marriages rely on oh-so-much-more than ease and "natural click".

Please tell me about a long-term couple you deem very successful. Some guidelines: please don't write about yourself, please write about a couple which has been together at least 10 years and whose participants are at least 30 years-old (not to discriminate against youngsters, but I'm looking for mature love that has stood the test of time rather than oh-mah-gawd-my-bff-and-her-boifriend-are-like-the-bestest-couple-EVAH!) What makes you think this couple is such a good match? How do their respective Types feed into their success/challenges? What elements that have nothing to do with Type have helped them build and maintain such a strong union?

I'll probably post this on a few other Boards just to see the variety of answers.

Thank you, my dears! : )
 

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I'm still trying to wrap my head around the notion of INTJs as someone's most dreamy supercalifragelistic ideal romantic partners. But anyway - my INTJ friend and his INFX wife... He loves that she is into service for others, helping others, volunteering, caring, taking care of others. He would not have been able to stay in love with someone who didn't think that a proper vacation included a Habitat for Humanity stint in a remote village where you could fry an egg on the hood of a car at 9:00 AM, except there aren't any cars around.


Why she puts up with a guy who refuses to acknowledge the concept of time is beyond me. However, the good points - he's very useful with fixing computers and obtaining music files that one does not wish to pay for. He's handsome and presentable - knows how to dress well. He's articulate and well-read. He tries to put people at ease in a group. He's good at strategy. He talks so much that she doesn't need to. He's gainfully employed and has a PhD in an employable field.

The mindmate/soulmate thing seems to work well for them. To me, though, even the "giving to others" claims are really about him. Look at me, I'm saving the world. But they seems very happy together, so good for them.

Does that help?
 

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@NaughyChimp, you're expecting a board of ISTJs to understand the ENFP allure of the INTJ??? ROTFLMAO!!!!!

I think it's got to be our crazy off-the-wall hopeless romantic idealism......or perhaps we just enjoy a good challenge :laughing:
 

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I know dozens, if not tens of dozens of such couples. Unfortunately, older people are more difficult to type so I can't say with great precision the type of both partners in most of these couples. I have noticed that there is a wide range of types - enough to reinforce my belief that any two types can marry and make a go of it.

FWIW, more than personality type, similar values and shared goals are of paramount importance in making a relationship sail smoothly. Other than that, maturity, commitment, and a willingness to overlook the faults of others is very important to the long term success of the relationship.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
@NaughyChimp, you're expecting a board of ISTJs to understand the ENFP allure of the INTJ??? ROTFLMAO!!!!!
I don't need them to understand... I just wanted to give one example of how people at PerC can make specific Type matches the Be All and End All of romantic pairings. Whether or not ISTJs understand the attraction, I hope they will understand my desire to dig a bit deeper.
 

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I don't need them to understand... I just wanted to give one example of how people at PerC can make specific Type matches the Be All and End All of romantic pairings. Whether or not ISTJs understand the attraction, I hope they will understand my desire to dig a bit deeper.
Absolutely! On my bucket list: "Make an INTP totally crazy about me and my ISTJ-ness."
 

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I don't understand the INTJ/ENFP thing (maybe I'm the wrong gender).

The most successful couple I know is my mom and stepdad. I suspect she is ISFP and he is ISTJ (maybe INTJ). They've been married 35 years. They still tease and flirt with each other. They have fun with each other. They have shared goals and values. They're one of those couples that are so thoroughly entwined that I truly don't think they will outlive each other.
 

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I don't need them to understand...
And this is the communication break down. For an ISTJ to respond, they must understand ... wrap their head around it ... very precisely.

Otherwise, they dismiss it as ambiguous conversation without any real merit or purpose. Hence the responses you've received up to this point.
 

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And this is the communication break down. For an ISTJ to respond, they must understand ... wrap their head around it ... very precisely.

Otherwise, they dismiss it as ambiguous conversation without any real merit or purpose. Hence the responses you've received up to this point.
Niss, I think what @NaughyChimp was trying to say is that since beginning of time all any ENFP seem to be able to talk about when it comes to romance are INTJs, but the strange thing I find is that on the other boards I read this phenomenon doesn't seem to be occurring. There is either talk about in general relationships with many types (small threads discussing compatibility or issues between two different types), or as exemplified by the ridiculously lengthy thread on ISTJ and ENFP relationships, threads that discuss more how to overcome communication/type issues rather than ZOMG THIS TYPE IS LIKE SOOOOO DREAMY (haha....no seriously, that's how ENFPs talk about INTJs!!!).

So the question I think that is being raised is, what else besides some unbeknownst personality type attraction/chemistry :):cough cough::) makes for a successful relationship?

ISTJs seem to be much more open to seeing success in relationships besides type dynamics, whereas us silly ENFPs seem to be as a whole gaga over a single type, perhaps missing that there are many other more important factors than that immediate chemistry that make relationships/marriages successful in the long-run.

Does that help?
 

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I think PB & J make a good couple(116 yrs strong)

I don't really know any couples like that tbh,to me they aren't the "Perfect/best couples"so I have nada.

Plus I don't understand why post about INTJs and ENFPs in the ISTJ section?


*Ahhh ok Buckyeye cleared it up(Kinda).

I've seen this kinda thread to many times to keep posting the same answer.

Look in the ISTJ relationship sticky(is it a sticky?) and scroll through the pages and you will see just about all the ISTJs' answers to this question.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
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On the ENFP board, we get a lot (I mean, A LOT) of posts about how INTJs are our most dreamy supercalifragelistic ideal romantic partners. I think there is some wisdom to the belief that certain Types might click most easily and naturally with certain other Types, but I also know that successful long-term marriages rely on oh-so-much-more than ease and "natural click".
Well, that's following Kiersey's model, and I don't know if I believe it. Sure I'm best friends with and ESFP. But I also have an ESFP aunt and ISTJ uncle and their relationship is far from lovey these days. Enneagram has been much more dependable for compatibility as far as I've seen. The only strength MBTI has is the fact that usually sensors marry sensors and intuitives marry intuitives. All the rest is pretty much up for grabs.

EDIT: My best friend turned out to be a 9, and I think that's the real reason why we're best friends. :wink:
 
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