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MOTM Nov 2009
4,132 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Main Characteristics
ESTJs are very much in touch with the external environment. They know their community and usually are pillars of strength. The best adjective to describe ESTJs would be responsible. They represent about 13 percent of the general population.

ESTJs are outstanding at organizing orderly procedures and in detailing rules and regulations. They like to see things done correctly. They tend to be impatient with those who do not carry out procedures with sufficient attention to those details, prescribed by those with the most experience, that will get the job done right.

ESTJs are comfortable in evaluating others and tend to judge how a person is doing in terms of standard operating procedures. They may, at times, be abrupt with those who do not follow rules correctly. ESTJs are realistic, matter-of-fact, and more curious about new devices and processes than about new principles and theories.

ESTJs generally are loyal to their institutions, work, and community and make excellent, faithful mates and parents. They see where their duty lies and are not likely to shirk the doing of that duty, even when this requires considerable sacrifice on their part. They frequently rise to positions of responsibility in their jobs, in the community, and in their religious affiliations. They very often belong to several civic clubs, and support them both through steady attendance and through their spoken attitudes. ESTJs themselves are punctual and expect others to be also.

ESTJs may not always be responsive to points of view and emotions of others and may have a tendency to jump to conclusions too quickly at times. They may not always be willing to listen patiently to opposing views; they are especially vulnerable to this tendency when in positions of authority. They may need to make special effort to remain open to input from others who are dependent on them - their children, spouses, and employees.

ESTJs are so in tune with the established, time-honored institutions and ways of behaving within those institutions that they cannot understand those who might wish to abandon or radically change those institutions. They follow routines well at home and at work, tending to have a place for everything and wanting everything in its place. They are usually neat and orderly at work and at play.

They approach human relations through traditions and rituals, promoting harmony and contentment in their relationships through creating well worked out routines and procedures. Family traditions have meaning for ESTJs, and they willingly participate in observing these. They enjoy opportunities to see friends, former colleagues, and relatives at functions such as retirement dinners, annual picnics, Thanksgiving gatherings, and weddings. ESTJs are relatively easy to get to know; they do not tend to confuse people by sending double messages. They are dependable and consistent, and what they seem to be is what they are.

At mid-life ESTJs may find new challenge in concentrating on better understanding the emotional reaction of others. If they do not develop this sensitivity, they can become bad-tempered and highly impatient with others as the years pass. They probably have been holding a tight rein over their emotions in the service of their careers and family; now a freer expression of these emotions, especially the positive ones, might be exercised. Travel to new places should have particular appeal if the ESTJs make special effort to absorb different cultures and lifestyles.

To preserve the establishment, to keep it healthy, steady, balanced, well insured, that's what is enjoyable and satisfying to the ESTJ. Yet the ESTJ is attracted to the disestablishmentarian, the ISFP! Does he hope to redo this bucolic spirit in his own image? Seemingly not. Perhaps he sees in this person's extreme laissez-faire a respite from the great responsibilities he manages to accumulate.

He can and sometimes does find another sort of complementary opposite, the INFP "monastic." This is very infrequent, there being 15 ESTJs for every INFP. It is doubtful if the ESTJ finds any rest in the INFP, because underneath the monastic is a fierce crusader - hardly what he bargained for. He may soon find himself asked to increase the "depth" and the "meaningfulness" of the relationship without being given even the slightest clue on how to proceed. His renewed efforts to "stabilize" and "solidify" the relationship will only be taken as signs of superficiality and/or meaninglessness.


202 Posts
Agreed. About mates, the thing is that I prefer to do the caring, I mean I'm happy to occasionally have people do things for me, but I sort of like playing that role in a relationship, and I love being the planner and the extrovert. You take away those things, and it would just make me upset. I like in my own world of judging and trying to be perfect. I criticize myself harder than anyone else. Why would I need someone else doing that for me? IFP's dont pressure you into telling your feelings. They hold no judgement and are excellent listeners. Sometimes it is good to ask advice from T's, but personally, if I wanted a logical answer I'd simply talk to myself. Its harder to care for someone who is harsh. I love how loving FP's are. My sister is an INFP and so I know that just wouldn't work out, but she is my best friend and i have really learned to appreciate her softness, and it was interesting to find that fire she keeps hidden inside her most of the time.
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