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Since I've been on the forum, I have recognized differences of attitudes and behavior of INTJ men and women. So from all of your own observations, what are the distinctions that you recognize yourselves?
 

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Why do you think that is?
Looking at the comments in the "what kind of men do INTJ women look for?" thread, we tended to look for men who understood us, that wouldn't get steamrolled and potentially were okay with not being in the traditional male role. Is it possible that at least the first one is more fulfilled by fellow NTs, if not the other two?

I speak, of course, as a woman married to an ENTP.
 

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Why do you think that is?
Scientific totally nor random thing from the top of my head:

Because the men tend to visualise themselves wearing either top hats or business suits; therefore (of course) they are inclined to go for females wearing vibrant underwear (feelers). By comparison the females are all wearing fluffy hats or comfortable clothes and therefore they are likely to go for gentlemen with with alphabetically ordered DVD collections (thinkers).

/end oddity ::crazy:
 

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Why do you think that is?
Grrrr...quantifying this is complex and there are going to be a lot more reasons why INTJ women are not only attracted but probably will be better matches...I won't be able to answer it without a thesis...I'll try though.

This is a generalisation as I can't speak for every single INTJ woman and it's noted that already wonderfert has indicated otherwise......but generally.....


I think that INTJ women still like to remain women:

It kind of goes against a kind of "natural order" perhaps.

Since INTJ women typically are strong individuals who are organised, value rationale over the emotional and highly independant, think logically and don't like highly charged displays of emotion only follows that they will not like to be involved someone perceived as weaker or less rational than herself. Interest can wane quickly after a good dose of a teary man. Respect once lost is hard to get back.

This is not to say that feelers have any less strength. INTJs in general are not emotionally demonstrative and don't respond to dramatic displays too well.

INTJ males don't like overly emotional displays either....but it seems more acceptable somehow coming from a woman. It is less work for INTJ males to assess and "fix" their situation in a relationship. INTJ women will find the situation harder.

In general rules of attraction (biologically speaking) women will look for a mate taller and stronger than herself...it follows that she will look for someone more masculine than herself and this includes more masculine thought processes.
 

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/end oddity ::crazy:
Jim, I think you'll need to try a little harder to end your oddities.

Having lived with an unhealthy Feeler for nearly half my life, I am reticent to enter into a relationship with another one, even if he is healthy. Perhaps an NF would be okay but I"m pretty scarred and more than a little scared. Sensors are so alien to me that I don't think I'd ever be able to come to a genuine understanding with one. That leaves only NTs.

Another difference I've noticed is that INTJ males become more comfortable with their emotions as they age and INTJ females become more comfortable with their intellect.
 

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Since INTJ women typically are strong individuals who are organised, value rationale over the emotional and highly independant, think logically and don't like highly charged displays of emotion only follows that they will not like to be involved someone perceived as weaker or less rational than herself. Interest can wane quickly after a good dose of a teary man. Respect once lost is hard to get back.
This is pretty much how I am, in terms of how I feel about relationships, except I'm into women so NT women FTW!!

But yeah, your rationale totally makes sense:cool:
 

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I find the most appealing type of woman for me to be the INTP/INTJ spectrum - too much good taste...
Though I do like INFP's because you never know where you stand - like living with a magical mystery tour...!
 

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Since INTJ women typically are strong individuals who are organised, value rationale over the emotional and highly independant, think logically and don't like highly charged displays of emotion only follows that they will not like to be involved someone perceived as weaker or less rational than herself. Interest can wane quickly after a good dose of a teary man. Respect once lost is hard to get back.

INTJ males don't like overly emotional displays either....but it seems more acceptable somehow coming from a woman. It is less work for INTJ males to assess and "fix" their situation in a relationship. INTJ women will find the situation harder.
I think that you summed this up perfectly. And as I'm not looking for a man, my preferences have somehow fallen to the male INTJ spectrum. I'm amazed by the ability to actually display the emotions that I have a hard time expressing. And whether it be a ridiculous societal influence telling me that its more feminine, or some other cause, I'm more likely to gravitate towards feelers.
 

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Why do you think that is?
I've read that female NTs tend to want someone who is their intellectual superior, while male NTs tend to want someone their intellectual equal or (slight) inferior.

So male NTs, while not necessarily more intellectual, often seem to be more overtly so, which in turn could act as a mating call for those women wanting intellectual men. And who doesn't want intellectual men? :tongue: As a general rule, though, I tend to go for NPs. I need someone with a strong playful streak to bring out my own. Wait, did I just shoot down my own theory? :laughing:
 

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I've read that female NTs tend to want someone who is their intellectual superior, while male NTs tend to want someone their intellectual equal or (slight) inferior.

So male NTs, while not necessarily more intellectual, often seem to be more overtly so, which in turn could act as a mating call for those women wanting intellectual men. And who doesn't want intellectual men? :tongue: As a general rule, though, I tend to go for NPs. I need someone with a strong playful streak to bring out my own. Wait, did I just shoot down my own theory? :laughing:
That would involve an INTJ woman admitting someone is smarter than her. I will accept that my husband is an intellectual equal, but no more. :p
 

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Since I've been on the forum, I have recognized differences of attitudes and behavior of INTJ men and women. So from all of your own observations, what are the distinctions that you recognize yourselves?
The first thing to recognize is, (and a lot of people aren't going to agree with me here.) that a considerable percentage of the INTJ's in this forum, among both women and men, are mistyped. They´re not INTJ's.

If I take out this group, I'd say that the main differences are the standard differences between males and females.
 

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Since I've been on the forum, I have recognized differences of attitudes and behavior of INTJ men and women. So from all of your own observations, what are the distinctions that you recognize yourselves?
I agree with Filo that women feel more social pressure to behave differently than men do. This is true of many of my women friends, however, so I am not sure how true it is of only INTJ women.
 

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The first thing to recognize is, (and a lot of people aren't going to agree with me here.) that a considerable percentage of the INTJ's in this forum, among both women and men, are mistyped. They´re not INTJ's.
This is an important observation. That said:

If I take out this group, I'd say that the main differences are the standard differences between males and females.
There should be no difference between men and women in the ordering and use of cognitive functions...you think how you think - age, gender, sexual preference, race/ethnicity, nationality - all of these do not matter a hill of beans.

Then, we are left with a discussion about societal prescriptions of gender roles and individual preferences, which may or may not be interesting.
 

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This is an important observation. That said:



There should be no difference between men and women in the ordering and use of cognitive functions...you think how you think - age, gender, sexual preference, race/ethnicity, nationality - all of these do not matter a hill of beans.

Then, we are left with a discussion about societal prescriptions of gender roles and individual preferences, which may or may not be interesting.
I agree. The standard differences between men and women are related to that there are differences between the information that the brain of men is presented with and the information that a brain of a woman is presented with.

These differences, first of all ofcourse, is that the brain of a man is connected to a male body and the brain of a woman is connected to a female body.

Besides that, as you mentioned, socially there are differences which cause different input as well. And you can even go as far that age, sexual preferences, race/etnicity, nationality, etc. all cause differences in input (experiences).

There is no difference in the ordering and use of the cognitive functions, meaning the hardware is the same, but behavior is different ofcourse as all these brains work with different input. This also explains why no 2 persons behave and act exactly the same. Not even twins, who have the closest thing to having exactly equal brains.
 
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