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The 'Executive' Mother
ENTJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging)


"My mind is always going. How can I fine-tune the system to everyone's advantage?"

Competent and confident in a management role, the ENTJ mother organizes the needs and schedules of family members into a workable family system. Within the system, she provides her children with care-taking, direction, and limits, but she also gives them space to develop their own self-sufficiency and judgment.

Analytical and adept at problem-solving, the ENTJ mother listens to her children's concerns empathetically and then strategizes with them how to improve the situation—either by intervening on their behalf or backing off to let them solve problems on their own. She particularly enjoys watching them take responsibility and accomplish something they find important on their own.

Intense and insightful, the ENTJ mother is cued in to her children's intellectual and emotional development. She uses her quickness and communication skills to talk things through and help her children connect with people and better understand life.

Tips
The ENTJ could benefit from some unstructured time for herself and her family. She needs to factor "unrushed time" into the family system. Scheduling a slow morning after a major push on a project or building in an hour of downtime mid-day can help her recharge with the time she needs to regroup and relax.
The ENTJ mother needs to examine realistically—and ultimately reject for herself—the myth of the "supermom." If she can accept her human vulnerabilities and limitations, she will not only enjoy life and her children more fully, she will also avoid passing on her legacy of "perfection" to the next generation.


Strengths
Commitment to a family system. Energetic and hard working, the ENTJ mother organizes a family system designed to bring out the best in each family member. Her children feel secure that someone competent is in charge, things are in order, and their needs are being addressed fairly.
Fostering independence. The ENTJ mother is focused on building her children's competence and self-sufficiency by allowing choices and autonomy within a structured family environment. She is constantly seeking the optimum balance between being directive and increasingly giving a child the freedom to make his or her own decisions.
Problem-solving. The ENTJ mother is a natural strategist and teacher. She helps children of any age think through solutions to a variety of situations, pointing out options, offering her analysis and perceptions, and instilling a "can do" attitude. When appropriate, she advocates for children at school or in any system where their best interests are not being addressed.
In-depth conversations. The ENTJ mother stimulates her children's intellectual development by engaging them in thought-provoking conversations. Interested in what they're thinking, she listens with respect, perception, and empathy. She uses ordinary life events to explain connections and broad meanings as well as to challenge children to think logically and analytically.


Struggles
Busyness. Fast paced and tightly scheduled, the ENTJ mother finds it difficult to slow down to a "normal" pace and be flexible to changes in plans. More often than she'd like, she finds herself rushing and telling her children to "hurry up." Frequently over-scheduled and over-committed, she may worry she's not as available to her children as she'd like to be on a regular basis.
Self-criticism. Intensely committed and wanting to be equally competent at work and family, the ENTJ mother struggles to live up to her "superhuman" expectations for herself. She may find herself constantly assessing her performance, confident about what she did well but even more self-critical when she thinks she should have done more.
Letting feelings "be." The ENTJ struggles to be patient with children's feelings. She is more comfortable trying to solve the problem and getting on with things than letting children experience unpleasant feelings for a while.
 
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