Wilsonwatson;2937014 mine is primarily physical touch closely followed by quality time said:I can relate to this in a sense. I grew up without much physical affection as a child, and whenever I would receive a hug from a family member, or friend, I would just stay limp and stand there awkwardly. I never learned how to reciprocate physical touch with people until I was about 16 and I had my first girlfriend. After that it doesn't seem so awkward and forced, I think because I never knew what it was like to want someone to touch me until then. Even still, I am single, and the idea of hugging my mother, my siblings, or anyone leaves me feeling cold. I WANT affection from someone, but only a lover or someone I like in a romantic way. Now, I put up with hugs from family just to be polite, but it doesn't make me feel warm at all, it's just something I'm expected to do so I do it.
Wilsonwatson, do you feel THE NEED to be touched, though you react in kind of a rigid manner? How does that change you or satisfies you inside? Do you only feel the need to BE touched, or also to touch someone you deeply care about, either romantically or familiarly related to you?Quick Question for any of those psychoanalists out there:
What does it mean if my parents primary love languages are very strongly acts of service, recieving gifts, and words of affirmation (in that order for both parents) while mine is primarily physical touch closely followed by quality time, plus I purposefully deprive myself of physical touch (since I didn't grow up in a touchy-feely home and am extremely introverted it makes me very uncomfortable to be physically touched) even though I really do just want someone to give me a hug or a pat on the back every once in a while? Its as if when someone touches me (I'm talking hugs or pats on the back or shoulder) it gives me such a strong reaction that I outwardly act upset when it actually makes me happy because its giving me something I'm deprived of and sorely need. Why do I do this?
One year my mother forgot to get me birthday presents and I didn't care. I don't think gifts is my primary language.
My primary languages are Physical Touch and quality time... Which is weird because I would never touch a friend, or ask for a hug.
It's probably because you can't be sure whether it would be misinterpreted, a tonne of guys don't feel comfortable hugging other guys, and besides I will go out of my way to not make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Quality time is a funny one too, I've abandoned everyone I know as I haven't kept up connections with others since leaving Highschool, and I haven't made new ones. I never did try to do stuff with others after school... And now to do so requires an effort I'm finding that I've left it too long to take up the initiative.
I'm great at making aquaintances, but terrible at making intimate relationships much like some extroverts.