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MOTM July 2012
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Ok, everyone has one...an internal meter that registers whenever we notice a flaw that annoys or bothers us, in ourselves or in others. Some people keep this information inside, others let it out.

1. Do you tend to tell someone when you notice a flaw in them, or do you keep it inside? If you only tell them sometimes, when?

2. If your answer to the first question was "yes," what is usually your motive?
(select all that apply, or add some, if the answer isn't here)

a) to point it out because you couldn't hlep noticing it and think they need to be made aware
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it
d) to elicit an apology, to make them change for your sake

3. Do you ever tease someone about their flaws, for any of the reasons in question 2?

Thank you all so much for your help and time! I'm trying to figure out some people I know...:)
 

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I generally keep my opinions to myself unless asked. If I'm asked, I generally cut to the chase and skip the bullshit. A previous boss of mine summed it up very nicely when her successor asked what to expect of me. She told the successor that my work ethic was unquestionable, my quality of work was excellent, and that I didn't "play office politics and rat people out, but if asked about something directly, would immediately give the unvarnished truth." HTH.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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1. Do you tend to tell someone when you notice a flaw in them, or do you keep it inside? If you only tell them sometimes, when?
I keep it inside the vast majority of the time. I will only tell them if I think it is something that is easily fixed. I.e. "Your shirt has a hole in it." Then they could sew it, or stop wearing that shirt. It's information they need to know.

2. If your answer to the first question was "yes," what is usually your motive?

a) to point it out because you couldn't help noticing it and think they need to be made aware
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it
d) to elicit an apology, to make them change for your sake

3. Do you ever tease someone about their flaws, for any of the reasons in question 2?
Only if I don't think that the other person perceives it as a "flaw", or has accepted it. If they make fun of themselves about it, it's usually fair game. However, these are usually not the type of flaws that annoy me.

In general, I try not to let things get to me. If they do, I distance myself from the person. There's no reason to concern myself with them if they bother me.

EDIT: I also might have a different definition of "flaw." I think of that as some inherent problem in yourself. I might try to help people to change for their sake, but only if it's someone very close to me. Usually I wouldn't consider those things "flaws." I wouldn't push it on them, just casually mention it. Or try to help them see the light by not confronting it directly.
 

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1. I'm a people watcher and I notice faults with many people, but I don't tell them since they are probably already aware of it. I have no interest in changing someone.

The exception being: On online forums, I can be sarcastic if you engage in dishonest, illogical arguments. I will use sarcasm to point out flaws in your thinking, especially if you are annoying.
 

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1. Do you tend to tell someone when you notice a flaw in them, or do you keep it inside? If you only tell them sometimes, when?

I tell them only when it's apparent that their actions will directly affect a third person:
ie. telling a friend of mine that he's again forgetting to pick up his empty soda can/cigarette packet/rolled-up paper napkins right as we're leaving some public place.



2. If your answer to the first question was "yes," what is usually your motive?

a) to point it out because you couldn't hlep noticing it and think they need to be made aware
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it + and to get them to stop, obviously.
d) to elicit an apology, to make them change for your sake





3. Do you ever tease someone about their flaws, for any of the reasons in question 2?

Not really. With my friend above, I only shoot him with what I THINK is an exasperated look:

"Dude Y U littering again???!"



Which to anyone else would probably look like this (given the ISTJ pokerface):

"Dude. You forgot to pick up your stuff."



While I do notice people's habits that annoy me, I wouldn't consider them to be 'flaws' in an objective sense. For all I know I could be the unusually uptight person who alone finds someone's particular quirk annoying in the first place.

I don't think I've ever met someone who's truly flawed TBH.
 

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a) to point it out because you couldn't hlep noticing it and think they need to be made aware
^ ::points out flaw:: ;-)
Bah humbug! Everyone knows that according to that research at Cambridge University, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.

:cool:
 

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I cringe at the idea of an ISTJ picking apart my flaws 0-o ;)

I have to wonder what this word flaw means, as everyone who is anyone is somehow flawed. We can't hold it against people if they are flawed in thought or behaviour. Then again, people act and react differently, so who is to judge if these actions/behaviours are flawed. I see people who are flawed as interesting, yikkes, maybe that won't make sense. When i see someone ( including myself ) with flaws in thought, it makes me think that somewhere , someone will give me insight in order to grow. I hope i can do the same for others also.
 

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When it comes to physical flaws, I never point them out, unless it's something that could be a potential embarrassment. Such as a zipper being undone. I never say anything like "Your nose is off center." That's just rude and it doesn't freaking matter.

Character flaws I don't point out unless a., I'm asked for it, b., it's directly affecting me, or c., (kind of in line with b) it becomes so constant that I cannot help but say something about it.

If it's a legitimate flaw, I don't tease about it. I'll point it out and make clear that it needs to be fixed. Teasing about something that's really wrong is a great way just to make it worse.
 

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Ok, everyone has one...an internal meter that registers whenever we notice a flaw that annoys or bothers us, in ourselves or in others. Some people keep this information inside, others let it out.

1. Do you tend to tell someone when you notice a flaw in them, or do you keep it inside? If you only tell them sometimes, when?

2. If your answer to the first question was "yes," what is usually your motive?
(select all that apply, or add some, if the answer isn't here)

a) to point it out because you couldn't hlep noticing it and think they need to be made aware
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it
d) to elicit an apology, to make them change for your sake

3. Do you ever tease someone about their flaws, for any of the reasons in question 2?

Thank you all so much for your help and time! I'm trying to figure out some people I know...:)
1. 90% of the time I keep it inside. The exception being something embarrassing, destructive, or harmful to that individual or someone else. You have to pick and choose which battles to fight, and most of the flaws or annoyances people have aren't worth bringing up. However, I do become conscious of these things and wonder if I do them to and if people find them just as annoying.

2. a) to point it out because you couldn't help noticing it and think they need to be made aware (Food stuck in teeth for example).
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake, this is where destructive or harmful behavior is (anorexia, depression, etc.)
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it (usually applies to things like co-workers interrupting conversations)

3. Never.

All things considered "flaw" is a very broad term and could range from minor behavioral annoyances, quirks (like how you squeeze a tube of toothpaste) to bigger issues like depression, eating disorders, addictions, etc.
 

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Ok, everyone has one...an internal meter that registers whenever we notice a flaw that annoys or bothers us, in ourselves or in others. Some people keep this information inside, others let it out.

1. Do you tend to tell someone when you notice a flaw in them, or do you keep it inside? If you only tell them sometimes, when?

Only if they want to know.

2. If your answer to the first question was "yes," what is usually your motive?
(select all that apply, or add some, if the answer isn't here)

a) to point it out because you couldn't hlep noticing it and think they need to be made aware
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it
d) to elicit an apology, to make them change for your sake

3. Do you ever tease someone about their flaws, for any of the reasons in question 2?

Yes. I will tease them in the context of a discussion, like if we're talking about a problem they're having and they're being too hard on themselves. My friends tease me about being a pessimist and worrying too much and it's their way of saying, "It will be OK. Just relax." Done right and with real concern it's a nice way to keep the conversation light while discussing some intense stuff.

Thank you all so much for your help and time! I'm trying to figure out some people I know...:)
text to fill character requirements
 

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MOTM May 2011
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Ok, everyone has one...an internal meter that registers whenever we notice a flaw that annoys or bothers us, in ourselves or in others. Some people keep this information inside, others let it out.

1. Do you tend to tell someone when you notice a flaw in them, or do you keep it inside? If you only tell them sometimes, when?

2. If your answer to the first question was "yes," what is usually your motive?
(select all that apply, or add some, if the answer isn't here)

a) to point it out because you couldn't hlep noticing it and think they need to be made aware
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it
d) to elicit an apology, to make them change for your sake

3. Do you ever tease someone about their flaws, for any of the reasons in question 2?

Thank you all so much for your help and time! I'm trying to figure out some people I know...:)
1) Depends on our relationship and the nature of the flaw. The closer I feel to you, or if I feel responsible to you, I will readily point out almost any flaw I've observed. If our relationship is casual, business, or something similar (what I consider acquaintances) then I am much less likely to share what I think - unless asked. If you ask, I'll be blunt. One caveat, if the result of the flaw in question results in a waste of my time or someone else's time, then I am very likely to speak up, regardless of our relationship status.

2) B.

It's kind of like letting someone know that their fly is undone. I do it because I would want to be told so that I could avoid further embarrassment. FWIW, if I notice something and don't tell you, either: it's almost a given that I strongly dislike you, or feel that you would be defensive and it is not worth the confrontation.

3) Sometimes, if I think that I might be able to bring attention to the problem in a less confrontational manner. This is usually employed for someone that I care a great deal about, but who I think is likely to respond defensively.
 

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I`m intensely aware of my own flaws and others flaws plus I`m also aware of the potential we have for making human errors. My approach is something similar to damage control. I know stuff will happen but I`m prepared if it does. I don`t have my friends placed so high on a pedestal that they will fall very far and be forever condemned if they let me down.

Ok, everyone has one...an internal meter that registers whenever we notice a flaw that annoys or bothers us, in ourselves or in others. Some people keep this information inside, others let it out.

1. Do you tend to tell someone when you notice a flaw in them, or do you keep it inside? If you only tell them sometimes, when? Only if they ask me a question.

2. If your answer to the first question was "yes," what is usually your motive? My motive is to answer their question. If they ask me,"Do I look fat?" Yes folks people have asked me that. :[

What do I say if they are? I`ll say,"You look nice. I know I could lose a few pounds." I`m being honest too when I notice something about them that makes them attractive. I refuse to call someone "fat" because that is rude and offensive.


(select all that apply, or add some, if the answer isn't here)

a) to point it out because you couldn't help noticing it and think they need to be made aware
b) to help/encourage them to change, for their sake
c) to show them you are annoyed with them about it(If they are disturbing me every 10 minutes and asking 20 questions while I`m working.)I`ll say,"Do you ever shut up?" (Only if I know them very well and they will not get offended.
d) to elicit an apology, to make them change for your sake

3. Do you ever tease someone about their flaws, for any of the reasons in question 2? Not usually. I might tease them if they can take it and it will be fun for both of us.

Thank you all so much for your help and time! I'm trying to figure out some people I know...:)

You`re Welcome.
 

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1) <<<snip FWIW, if I notice something and don't tell you, either: it's almost a given that I strongly dislike you, or feel that you would be defensive and it is not worth the confrontation.

3) Sometimes, if I think that I might be able to bring attention to the problem in a less confrontational manner. This is usually employed for someone that I care a great deal about, but who I think is likely to respond defensively.>>>snip
Avoiding potential confrontation is my main reason for not answering a question or caring about a flaw. If I dislike someone then they will not get one word out of me. I will only speak up if the issue directly involves me or something I`m trying to accomplish.
 
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