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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you like this join in and to create a user guid. I thought it might be fun
A guid to help others and prevent us from getting hurt. I often wish i came with a manual!

Disclamer:this is a basic guid all the INFJ are special and unique so it is most important that you listen to their needs on a persional level.

Congratulations you have just encoundered an INFJ, they are amazing!!!If you like your friendships loyal longlasting geniune trusing rewarding and deep then please follow the INFJ guid.
Be attentive and kind to your INFJ, be interested in them, smile a lot and embark on some one to one activies with them. You may find in a few months time that your INFJ is keen to contact you regulaly and has becaome rather playfull in your comapany. Congratulations the INFJ has made you a friend! If not then GUTTED you didn't make it please move along now thanks.

When the INFJ does something nice for you, beacuse words are cheap and actions speack louder than words.
your INFJ friend will find your hapines very importat to them, the INFJ is capable of many wonderful things and will instictivly sence when they are able to help you. This may take the form of small or large things, you may or may not have to ask them. When the INFJ does a seris of small things just say thank you and apreciate how your life is better with them there. In the event the INFJ has done something big most probly at their own cost, please note that they did this for you and your very lucky. say thank you, tell them that you apreciate them.
Should the event arise where you are in a postion to help them back, it is stongly advised that you do. If you do not the INFJ will be hurt, calling in question how genuine your feelings are, they will dwell and eventaly feel used and abused. The INFJ work via a simple priciple of many small thigs are just my way, the big thing is sighn our friendship. Unrepricated the big thing will be viewed as a bad sighn. The INFJ may or may not get angry with you, either way you will have caused damage. It is highly likely they will blame themselves for not 'knowing' this would be the case. The Hurt feelings are deep and damaging for the INFJ so just be nice and do what you can to help them back if ever they need you, they will apreciate it more than you will ever know and faires will be sent to kiss your nose every night befor you sleep or may be they will just buy you a pint.

When the INFJ wells up in a publicso prehaps unexpectadly your INFJ has welled some tears in a public place. Please note they are not looking for attention, they are VERY embarresed they are not being a drama queen/king.
do not tell them to stop, do not tell them they are stupid, do not tell them they are embarassing you even if they are they know this and this is upsetting them more.
Dont get others invoved. Ask who they want to be with. Alow them to go with whome ever they want dont be ofended if its not you, if they want to be alone let them and dont send someone to check up on them.
ask if they want a hug dont just do it. If others have not noticed the INFJ has tears then dont take it upon your self to tell them. stay calm stay happy be gentle and just listen. be afirming and make sure they know you care. be gentile with them for the rest of the day, they may take some time to recover. Make shure they you dont think they are stupid. What ever it is that caused the tears if you understand it or not it will be of considerable importance to the INFJ to have caused pulic tears. After the event dont bring it up, it is highly unikely that the INFJ will want to joke about it. Failure to follow thease points will result in escualted behavour of, more crying possible trying to run away from situation, very intence crying with snot from nose. acompanied by feelings of, sad, dispare, embrasment, anger, frustration and deep falure. Really they are very upset about something deep and not trivial


so i could go on for ever...so its you turn now, change my guid or make your own.....

In the event your INFJ............................
(sorry you know sea cucumber is dylexic and somtimes doesnt draft)
 

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If you like this join in and to create a user guid. I thought it might be fun
A guid to help others and prevent us from getting hurt. I often wish i came with a manual!

Disclamer:this is a basic guid all the INFJ are special and unique so it is most important that you listen to their needs on a persional level.

Congratulations you have just encoundered an INFJ, they are amazing!!!If you like your friendships loyal longlasting geniune trusing rewarding and deep then please follow the INFJ guid.
Be attentive and kind to your INFJ, be interested in them, smile a lot and embark on some one to one activies with them. You may find in a few months time that your INFJ is keen to contact you regulaly and has becaome rather playfull in your comapany. Congratulations the INFJ has made you a friend! If not then GUTTED you didn't make it please move along now thanks.

When the INFJ does something nice for you, beacuse words are cheap and actions speack louder than words.
your INFJ friend will find your hapines very importat to them, the INFJ is capable of many wonderful things and will instictivly sence when they are able to help you. This may take the form of small or large things, you may or may not have to ask them. When the INFJ does a seris of small things just say thank you and apreciate how your life is better with them there. In the event the INFJ has done something big most probly at their own cost, please note that they did this for you and your very lucky. say thank you, tell them that you apreciate them.
Should the event arise where you are in a postion to help them back, it is stongly advised that you do. If you do not the INFJ will be hurt, calling in question how genuine your feelings are, they will dwell and eventaly feel used and abused. The INFJ work via a simple priciple of many small thigs are just my way, the big thing is sighn our friendship. Unrepricated the big thing will be viewed as a bad sighn. The INFJ may or may not get angry with you, either way you will have caused damage. It is highly likely they will blame themselves for not 'knowing' this would be the case. The Hurt feelings are deep and damaging for the INFJ so just be nice and do what you can to help them back if ever they need you, they will apreciate it more than you will ever know and faires will be sent to kiss your nose every night befor you sleep or may be they will just buy you a pint.

When the INFJ wells up in a publicso prehaps unexpectadly your INFJ has welled some tears in a public place. Please note they are not looking for attention, they are VERY embarresed they are not being a drama queen/king.
do not tell them to stop, do not tell them they are stupid, do not tell them they are embarassing you even if they are they know this and this is upsetting them more.
Dont get others invoved. Ask who they want to be with. Alow them to go with whome ever they want dont be ofended if its not you, if they want to be alone let them and dont send someone to check up on them.
ask if they want a hug dont just do it. If others have not noticed the INFJ has tears then dont take it upon your self to tell them. stay calm stay happy be gentle and just listen. be afirming and make sure they know you care. be gentile with them for the rest of the day, they may take some time to recover. Make shure they you dont think they are stupid. What ever it is that caused the tears if you understand it or not it will be of considerable importance to the INFJ to have caused pulic tears. After the event dont bring it up, it is highly unikely that the INFJ will want to joke about it. Failure to follow thease points will result in escualted behavour of, more crying possible trying to run away from situation, very intence crying with snot from nose. acompanied by feelings of, sad, dispare, embrasment, anger, frustration and deep falure. Really they are very upset about something deep and not trivial


so i could go on for ever...so its you turn now, change my guid or make your own.....

In the event your INFJ............................
(sorry you know sea cucumber is dylexic and somtimes doesnt draft)
yay i have encountered people and that is what i do.

...i feel people don't get how much i give them and then when i need something... it is has to fit in their schedule when i throw my free time to help them with something that i don't have to. this is primarily my family. i love my 14 yo brother he gets me.... might have to do with the fact he is very likely an INFJ. he even admits that we think and act very similarly. he even said yesterday our minds must be connected. we have trouble understanding each other sometimes each other though. we both accuse each other of being less social then the other. we both spend our free time online talking to others. *coughs* he is a little lazy though just had to literally drag him out of bed for school today but i remember having those days. he says i never see him at school where he is really shy. theres a whole lot that i don't know about him but he doesn't want to talk about it. i have realized that he does help more then i realize. i should give him a little more recognition then i do. he does help alot more then most notice. i am going to give more attention on things he wants to do an(. i feel bad for not noticing how much he gives...and accusing him of not noticing. so i will go and get him something nice for something he did a little while ago since he has be saying he would like one for a while) i realize that quite often we go back and forth on each other about a problem we both say the other has.

crying public is not common for me but it happens. i was at my cousin's wedding and i tried to last as long as i could but i get sensory overloads easily and knew i was not going to last long before i went. i made through the ceremony soley because it was outside in nice grassy area with trees and water so it was really calming. then we had the reception in a hall and i was overloaded i knew almost none of the people and we were packed in there, there were atleast 150 people. i was lost in a sea of people and could not think clearly so i could not escape in my mind. my father is understanding but doesn't quite get it competely. i said i was going to go to back to where we were staying while in the city but he pushed me to go and i followed what he said. i sat there for over a hour in a increasing state of stress for large portion of that time and holding back tears. i felt a complete obligation to make it through but couldn't manage any longer. i went outside and got some air and calmed down but i couldn't step back in there and went back to my grandmothers(where we were staying) .... after alot of people asked me were i went and when did i leave. the ones that noticed asked why was i crying. i didn't want to talk about and i still view that as a terrible experience..i made a scene and i failed at making it through....it brings tears to me just writing all this...
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
yay i have encountered people and that is what i do.

...

crying public is not common for me but it happens. i was at my cousin's wedding and i tried to last as long as i could but i get sensory overloads easily and knew i was not going to last long before i went. i made through the ceremony soley because it was outside in nice grassy area with trees and water so it was really calming. then we had the reception in a hall and i was overloaded i knew almost none of the people and we were packed in there, there were atleast 150 people. i was lost in a sea of people and could not think clearly so i could not escape in my mind. my father is understanding but doesn't quite get it competely. i said i was going to go to back to where we were staying while in the city but he pushed me to go and i followed what he said. i sat there for over a hour in a increasing state of stress for large portion of that time and holding back tears. i felt a complete obligation to make it through but couldn't manage any longer. i went outside and got some air and calmed down but i couldn't step back in there and went back to my grandmothers(where we were staying) .... after alot of people asked me were i went and when did i leave. the ones that noticed asked why was i crying. i didn't want to talk about and i still view that as a terrible experience..i made a scene and i failed at making it through....it brings tears to me just writing all this...
I get that a lot. Its frightening. I do the same, I beat myself up over it as well, I wonder if its an Se thing. we are not able to use Se very well and the world around us becomes frightening. I always try and get to calming space and count to 10 and over and over some times it help some times it doesnt.
Your lucky your little brother will grow of his lazy phase, they say its growing pains that causes it lol! your brother will most likly understand and help you. wish i could say somthing more helpfull, other than you are not alone and there is nothing wronge with you. I get overlead in airports and sometimes in open markets, my friends are awear of this and so they know what to do. Dont be afraid to speack to your friends.

I dont have the answer the other problem either, other than a lot of people just dont help the ones the care about enough or as much as they could. it just doesnt seem to enter thier thoughts. In the end I aoided getting hurt by this by deciding to belive in Karma. Karma will ensure all your good deeds are rewarded it seems to work.
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I found this article online about a year ago and really liked it. It's called "How to Care for Your INFJ Lover," but I felt that most of the tips were applicable to friendships, too. My favorite line? "It is best to keep strangers from attempting to pet your INFJ." So true! Well, at least in my case. :proud:

The Zombie Watch Blog Archive How to care for your INFJ lover.
I foun it! Its great!!!! LOL.........Yeah dont pet me:laughing:

this is it
1. Your INFJ adores you more than they can express with words. Even if they don’t tell you verbally, they will show you how they feel through their patience, kindness, and willingness to please you.
2. Thank your INFJ with sincere hugs and kisses, and tell us you appreciate the things that we do for you. Just knowing that you’re aware of it is reward enough to keep us overjoyed (and enthusiastically continuing to do all the things you love that we do for you).
3. If an INFJ is in a romantic relationship with you, they consider you their number one priority in life. Your happiness and well being are the most important things in their lives.
4. Your INFJ can sense your emotions even more acutely than if you were telling us with words. We can feel what you are feeling. Don’t be alarmed by this as we will never use it against you. However, this means you can never lie to us. If you try, we will know, it will hurt our feelings badly that you did.
5. We love it when you just walk up to us and hold us. No words. Nothing complicated. Just gently wrap your arms around us and focus on how you feel about us. We can feel it like it is pouring out of you and into us. Don’t be alarmed if we cry when you do this.
6. We love to listen. Don’t be afraid to tell us what is on your mind, even if we didn’t ask. We love you and respect your privacy, and don’t like to pry.
7. We also love it when you listen to us. Please ask us questions to show us that you care, and let us talk when you do. The more intently you are interested in how we feel and what we have to say, the more we will love you.
8. Sometimes we need to recharge our minds, and will sit and stare blankly into space. This is perfectly normal, as your INFJ is rebooting their amazing mind. Systems will be online again shortly.
9. We thrive in an environment with just you, and a few of our closest loved ones. The more opportunities you help us create for these kinds of environments, the happier we will be.
10. We don’t do well in crowds for extended periods. We will join you in them if that’s where you want to go, but please be mindful of the duration of contact. INFJs may become unresponsive and even irritable when exposed to crowds for too long.
11. While we are extremely affectionate with you, we’re generally not interested in being affectionate with anyone else, and physical contact with strangers may unsettle your INFJ. It is best to keep strangers from attempting to pet your INFJ.
12. Your INFJ accepts you for everything you are. However, INFJs can be especially eccentric. If you accept your INFJ’s eccentricities and peculiar interests, this will greatly increase your INFJ’s happiness.
13. INFJs are otherwise very self sufficient low maintenance pets, and can be left to their own little worlds for extended periods. However, infrequent moments of affection are always appreciated.

14. Always kiss your INFJ goodnight and tell them that you love them, even if you’re not going to sleep when they do.
15. Always cuddle with your INFJ when they wake up and greet their day with love.
16. Your INFJ will have a reflex to help others. Do not be alarmed by this, as it does not in any way reflect on how your INFJ feels about you, or your relationship. It is simply our nature to help others – sometimes to a degree that makes the ones we love assume they are less of a priority. Nothing could be further from the truth.
17. Your INFJ is a planner. Sometimes spontaneity leaves us in a position that we cannot plan how to best make you happy, and we find this upsetting. Please understand that we are never upset with you, only the situation.

18. Your INFJ is very idealistic and principled. If you need us to go against our ideals or principles to make you happy, this can cause us a great deal of internal turmoil and tension. Please be mindful of our ideals and principles and avoid asking us to go against them.
19. When an INFJ’s ideals or principles are offended, we will pull away quickly. This may look very similar to our normal modes of being lost in our heads to the untrained eye, as we do not like to cause tension or disharmony. To best care for your INFJ, learn to spot this reaction and quickly make right whatever was wrong, even if it is simply an opinion. This will bring us back to the harmony we need to be our healthiest.
20. No one will ever love you as much as your INFJ.
 

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Registered
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If you like this join in and to create a user guid. I thought it might be fun
A guid to help others and prevent us from getting hurt. I often wish i came with a manual!

Disclamer:this is a basic guid all the INFJ are special and unique so it is most important that you listen to their needs on a persional level.

Congratulations you have just encoundered an INFJ, they are amazing!!!If you like your friendships loyal longlasting geniune trusing rewarding and deep then please follow the INFJ guid.
Be attentive and kind to your INFJ, be interested in them, smile a lot and embark on some one to one activies with them. You may find in a few months time that your INFJ is keen to contact you regulaly and has becaome rather playfull in your comapany. Congratulations the INFJ has made you a friend! If not then GUTTED you didn't make it please move along now thanks.

I love this! So true and also so affirming! Thanks
 
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