[AtomicSL210]

Why can't women just be direct about not being interested?

Warning: Long and filled with me being a whiny bitch!

As some of you might recall I ended up asking a coworker out to which she declined do to having school. She did however sugest hanging out at a party that friday and gave me her number without me asking. I ended up texting her that thursday and our conversation seemed to go well. At the ended i sugested we go snowboarding that weeked sense we were both off. Again I was turned down (I should have just moved on here but I didnt).

Anyway I go to the party and she seems to act interested. Not much happens between us except some talking and playing a few drinking games. I leave assuming she is interested.

That Sunday I ended up texting her again. We end up laughing about some coworkers that got real drunk at the party and then move to talking about our tastes in music. I found myself tempted to ask her if she was free some time that week but didnt. Figured it was best to back off on this.

Thursday comes around and I decide I should text her and see what she's up to. I dont get a response and find myself thinking maybe she's busy so whatever. That saturday I again send her one text and get no response. At this point I start to admit to myself I'm being avoided and try to tell myself just delete the number and move on but I dont. I ended up convincing myself to call today thinking she could atleast turn me down directly but she dosnt answer.

Now you may be thinking why dont you talk to her at work. The answer to that is its a seasonal job and she got layed off the week after i asked her out.

It seems like every time i ask someone out this is the kind of bullshit I get. I can understand if they tell me there not interested but actually tell me instead of just avoiding me.

 

[AtomicSL210]

Please don't leave me a bunch of pity. More than anything I just felt the need to write my thoughts. Now that I think about it this should have just been a blog but whatever.

 

[Duck_of_Death]

What games?
She isn't into you.

She wasn't leading you on. She was being straightforward.
She probably didn't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[Kormoran]

What games?
She isn't into you.

She wasn't leading you on. She was being straightforward.
She probably didn't want to hurt your feelings.

What he said.

 

[daydr3am]

Could you have possibly misinterpreted her "seemingly interested" when she was actually just being a friendly person?

 

[JamieBond]

Could you have possibly misinterpreted her "seemingly interested" when she was actually just being a friendly person?

This ^^

I don't know how many times I've just been nice to someone and they thought I was interested.

 

[Black Ronin]

Anyway I go to the party and she seems to act interested. Not much happens between us except some talking and playing a few drinking games. I leave assuming she is interested.

This is probably where you got friend zoned. Did you touch her at all? If you don't touch her (in appropriate ways) you create a non-sexual vibe. Therefore, she'll see you as a non-sexual person. It´s important that she sees you as a person that can get women. She´ll decide this the moment that you meet, so first impression is extremely important.

Learn some PUA material and use the style that fits your character. On this website I´ve seen many people discrediting PUAs but I think that they are biased, often uninformed and perhaps already good with women. If you don´t have good women skills, learning and internalizing PUA theory could only help you grow as a person. It´s very good training for your Fe.

 

[U-80]

This is probably where you got friend zoned. Did you touch her at all? If you don't touch her (in appropriate ways) you create a non-sexual vibe. Therefore, she'll see you as a non-sexual person.

I can believe that. I have a history of being totally oblivious to the interest of men (ones that I liked, too) and I think if they'd been just a touch more tactile it would have made all the difference.

 

[Black Ronin]

I can believe that. I have a history of being totally oblivious to the interest of men (ones that I liked, too) and I think if they'd been just a touch more tactile it would have made all the difference.

BOOM! PUA theory confirmed!
Haters keep hatin'.

 

[U-80]

BOOM! PUA theory confirmed!
Haters keep hatin'.

Haha, yeah. I should mention, these were guys that I knew-- not strangers at the bus stop or in a bar.

But I'm sure your theory extends to the pick-up scene as well. I just wouldn't be familiar with that.

 

[DustyDrill]

Don't waste your time thinking about it. You already wasted too much time writing this post.

 

[epic]

At the ended i sugested we go snowboarding that weeked sense we were both off.

Where are you that you can go snowboarding in April? We got like no snow here over the winter and it's about a month early for the 60's and sunny we've been having these past weeks.

I wish people were more direct as well. Like others said she probably didn't want to hurt your feelings and was just being friendly. I know I often misinterpret girls being nice for being interested in me, so I cope by just not paying much attention. Some girl will probably have to tackle me for me to take notice

 

[Benja]

I just had a similar situation happen to me a month or so ago...

I've implemented a new policy since then, if she doesn't try to tackle me to the ground and jump my bones, she's not interested and can fuck off.

 

[Siren]

^^^I don't see a problem with that.

 

[Remington]

Dude she's clearly an attention whore. Don't bother with chicks like that because they're just a waste of time.

 

[Ludendorff]

Yeah, I'll never understand why people talk about their personal interests and time in depth, and enjoy it, unless they are also looking for something else. I know people find value of small talk, but I don't see it. If I talk to a girl of the opposite sex about non-political, non-practical, non-relevant things, there is at least an 80% chance it is because I like her. I'm very surprised at how much lower that percentage is for non-ISTPs.

P.S. don't go thinking all ISTPs are a bunch of heartless w-words because I don't like talking about frivolous things unless I have an ulterior motive. ISTPs have hearts, but they are buried under an array of thought that, more or less, protects and limits heart-to-heart human interaction.

 

[Duck_of_Death]

I need to take you young men under my wing. I'll make ladie's men outta all of ya.
As ISTPs, we have a distinct advantage over most other personality types in this area of life.

Sorry to say, you guys ain't capitalizing on it.

 

[Erbse]

She probably didn't want to hurt your feelings.

DING DING DING!

So much for straightforwardness then. :mellow:

 

[U-80]

I need to take you young men under my wing. I'll make ladie's men outta all of ya.
As ISTPs, we have a distinct advantage over most other personality types in this area of life.

Sorry to say, you guys ain't capitalizing on it.

Boy is that ever true. Insecurity in the ISTP male is so... unnecessary.
All it does is block out their natural magnetism.

They always figure this out eventually, but why wait.

 

[epic]

As ISTPs, we have a distinct advantage over most other personality types in this area of life.

Alright, let's hear it