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The 'Giving' Mother
ISFP (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)


"A people pleaser from Day One, it took me 30 years to figure out I could say 'no.'"

Quiet and unassuming in her devotion, the ISFP mother is responsive to her children's needs, offering behind-the-scenes love and support. She is gentle and non-intrusive, flexible and adaptable.

A "be there" mother, the ISFP takes pleasure in physically caring for her children and doing for them. Her best times might be "doing little things" with each child one-on-one.

More than anything, the ISFP mother wants her children to know they are loved. And she enjoys being needed in return.

Dedicated to raising children who are responsible and care for others, she favors a non-directive approach: instilling values by setting a good example. She may be a strong role model for community service.

Tips
The greatest gift the ISFP mother can give herself is a break from constantly giving to her children—and give to herself instead. Long blocks of time alone to read, watch a movie, or putter around the house are well deserved. And outside interests can give her perspective. By putting the focus on herself once in a while, the ISFP mother is actually giving to her children as well: they have time and space for their own needs, and she's setting a good example of how one takes care of oneself.
The ISFP mother may benefit from outside support in learning how to say "no" and assert herself. A supportive partner, good friend, or professional coach or counselor may be able to model new approaches, offer insight, and encourage her to stand up for herself more often.


Strengths
Accessibility and flexibility. The ISFP mother is available to her children. Because she can readily "go with the flow," the ISFP is well suited to meeting the unpredictable needs of small children. Adult children of ISFPs say they always knew they were loved and accepted growing up—mom was never too busy to spend time together, give a hug, work a puzzle, or help with homework.
Her personal touch. The ISFP mother is responsive to each child, tending to the needs of the moment. When one is sick, she makes jello, and when he wants to learn to ride his bike, she runs along holding the seat. She'll work with another child on a puzzle or bake favorite cookies. The ISFP likes doing the little things that matter most to her children.
Providing gentle support. Sympathetic and comforting, the ISFP mother soothes a child's upset feelings with physical closeness and quiet talk. She is reassuring and encouraging, helping her children believe they can do anything they want.
Teaching by example. To impart the values she holds most dear, the ISFP mother does not preach, force, or push her children. She believes children learn best by the example set for them; if her children see her do a good deed, they will learn to do it as well. She strives to set a good example of a life of service to family, friends, and community, and to care for all living creatures.


Struggles
Selflessness. Because she is generous and a "people pleaser," the ISFP mother may struggle with giving too much of herself. As a result, she may not know her own interests and needs. She may also become burned-out and angry with loved ones asking so much of her.
Assertiveness. As she naturally adapts to the needs and wants of others, the ISFP mother may find it extremely hard to stand up for herself and say "no." She may also have difficulty asking for help… even when it's in everyone's best interest. She may struggle most to assert herself with traditional authority figures, such as teachers and medical professionals.
Routine and productivity. Organizing and keeping daily family routines can seem overwhelming to the ISFP mother, whether her task is overseeing homework, getting children to school on time, or preparing meals. Sporadic in her focus, she tends to procrastinate; she often feels unproductive, wondering at times how other mothers accomplish so much.
 
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