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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The 'Heart-to-Heart' Mother
ENFJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)


"We have so many good talks, I think I understand my children better than they understand themselves."

Expressive and warm, the ENFJ mother is adept at talking about personal concerns, both her children's and her own. She is likely to initiate heart-to-heart talks frequently and provide her children with an open forum for articulating their feelings and perspectives.

Tuned in to each child as a unique person, the ENFJ mother nurtures her children through affirmation, praise, and encouragement. She takes great pleasure when they reciprocate, offering admiration and encouragement of her, a sibling, or a friend.

Organized and energetic, the ENFJ mother is a competent, efficient family manager. She is involved in her children's lives, providing structure, direction, and guidance.

The ENFJ mother is also socially adept, relating well to people wherever she goes. She strives to keep her children connected to family, neighborhood, and the larger community.

Tips
Humor is a wonderful way to diffuse the down side of the ENFJ's natural intensity. Insightful about human nature, she is quick to laugh at herself and the situation if someone helps her see it from a comic perspective. Harmony can be quickly restored when irritations are turned into mutual family jokes.
Although she is people-oriented, the ENFJ needs some peace and quiet each day. A walk or lunch by herself can help her re-energize. She can also benefit from opportunities to engage in lively, heart-to-heart discussions with a close friend or group of friends beyond her immediate family.


Strengths
Communication skills. The ENFJ mother provides understanding, closeness, and emotional support through open communication. She has a keen interest in her children's feelings and wants them to feel free to express themselves. She may also express her own feelings clearly and work at being understood by her children.
Organization. The ENFJ mother keeps day-to-day living and special projects organized and moving along. Methodical and energetic, she gets a lot done and may seem like "supermom" to other mothers.
Resourcefulness. Enthusiastic and imaginative, the ENFJ mother brings a creative flair to everything she does. Her children are sure to delight in her theme birthday parties, dress-up ideas, and involvement in the class play. She in turn takes pleasure in their creativity, imagination, and fantasy play.
People orientation. The ENFJ mother places a high value on her own relationships and her children's relationships with friends, family, and community. She encourages her children to extend themselves through service as well as friendship. She may, for example, organize a neighborhood play group to help a shy child make friends.


Struggles
People or order? Committed to cultivating close relationships and getting things done, the ENFJ mother may feel guilty or conflicted when she must choose one or the other. She finds it stressful to focus on her children and have fun knowing there are schedules and deadlines to meet… and much to be accomplished before the day is over.
Backing off. Intense and personally involved with each child, the ENFJ mother may worry about being "overbearing" and "bossy." She tries to listen without jumping to conclusions and be less directive with a child's decision-making.
Objectivity. Sensitive to her children's anger, pain, bickering, and compliments, the ENFJ mother struggles to handle family situations objectively and avoid responding to children's attempted manipulations. Emotionally expressive, she may "fly off the handle," or she may attempt to use affection to diffuse or control difficult situations.
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Personally, I would call you guys "The Mother of Mothers" but this is the title the site provided. :wink:
 
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My mother is an ENFJ as well.
The negative though is when a child is in trouble with the laws and regulations she might not step up. The ENFJ avoids conflict with other school parents.
 

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MOTM Feb 2011
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Although she is people-oriented, the ENFJ needs some peace and quiet each day. A walk or lunch by herself can help her re-energize.
yes I can relate to this.

People or order? Committed to cultivating close relationships and getting things done, the ENFJ mother may feel guilty or conflicted when she must choose one or the other.
mhmmm...

Emotionally expressive, she may "fly off the handle,".
Yeah kids are good at bringing out this side.
 

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MOTM Feb 2011
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My mother is an ENFJ as well.
The negative though is when a child is in trouble with the laws and regulations she might not step up. The ENFJ avoids conflict with other school parents.
And when your kid is falling short with behaviour you feel like it's all your fault and if you were a better parent it wouldn't have happened. I will avoid conflict but if it gets to be unavoidable I will assert myself rather than sit there and be a pushover. In fact I have gone overboard with asserting myself in the past.:laughing:
 

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I think that's what I'd be like. That's what I'm like with the kids I babysit :)
 
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