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Rebel without a cause
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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I suspect that I may be mistyped due to me not being completely honest. So, this time around I intend to remain open to everyone's honest opinions. I want core type, tri-type, wings, phobia, stacking, anything really that you think you can see. Even astrological sign if you feel that it's relevant.

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1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I'm not quite sure actually. I think I live to find what drives me in life in that makes sense. I hope that the future will be able to tell me that.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Something? I'd like to have accomplished something of significance to feel good about myself. In what area isn't as important as long as I feel that it comes from inside me.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
Being stuck, being tied down to something I didn't want for myself. At the same time I want to feel that my time here in this life is going to be worthwhile, what that is isn't as important as the feeling of something being worthwhile in it self.

As for values I think that Law of the Jante 6 sums it up quite nicely in broad general terms: "Thou shall not believe thou art more grandly than us."

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Being emotionally wounded, I've for example had the bad habit of rather breaking up with girls I started to get emotions for rather than risk being hurt again. Other then that I think feelings of inadequacy, feeling worthless and being a failure maybe.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
Clever, competent, wise, attractive, creative, original, strong, assertive and easy-going.

I think of myself as passive, sensitive and self-destructive to a fault. Whenever I do something creative I have a hard time looking at what I did and see myself as a failure. If I give it some time I don't necessarily think what I created was as bad as I made it out to be.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Being in tune with my emotions and my surroundings. Solitary walks in nature makes me forget that I'm an individual and I'm breathing as if I was one with the forest. Likewise, going to a meditative-like state while listening to music does much of the same thing for me, as if the music is merging with me. Forgetting my own existence is the single best feeling.

Jealousy, a dark anxious feeling that sticks to my inside as if it were made of hot burning tar.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) From the center of my chest a warm hot liquid runs out through my veins, first through my arms down to my fists and then back up the neck and I'm starting to gain a bit of a tunnel-vision. It's a powerful feeling that can take me out of negative inwards thoughts and feelings. But when it happens fast and with someone who I feel is provoking me I feel prone to losing control over my own self, what I prefer to do is to avoid such situations as much as possible as I do fear what consequences it might have if I don't, and a few times it's been nothing but a hair away from me losing it completely.

b) It usually comes in the form of guilt over what I've said and done, and things that I wish I could turn back time and not do. I guess the rationale is that I learn from most of my mistakes, but the pain can be intense and overbearing.

c) I constantly find myself tense and for example "scanning" males most often roughly my age as hostile/friendly, and find myself thinking a lot about how it could transpire violently and what I'd do to protect myself and people that I care for. The violent thoughts in themselves as well makes me feel uneasy as I don't completely trust myself to not use excessive violence even if my opponent would be defeated in such a situation. In regards to the future I think I've adopted a more here-and-now approach to avoid spiraling away in negative thoughts about the future.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I tend to either be slower then usual and lack most of my cognitive skills, or I lash out with irrationality and impulsiveness.

b) A bit conflicted as it can be both a breath of fresh air and an inconvenience. I for example hate when Skype comes with their updates to completely overhaul the interface and add worthless and gimmicky kitsch, I use Skype as an IM program and then for voice/video conversations. Improvements are more than welcome, but overhauls often distracts from reliability, which was exactly why MSN Messenger now is a joke IM compared to Skype. And I hate the constant facebook overhauls as well, when I'm getting somewhat used to the interface they change it.

On the other hand I'm not all that fond of either routine or repetitiveness, I would feel restricted if I there wasn't some expectancy in life, in fact, that I don't know what my future is going to be like is something that keeps life interesting for me. Things can get better, I just don't know how yet, I think that's the main source for my optimism. Reaching future goals isn't all that important as long as it got me where I need to be next.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I'm often fond of female authority, it feels like there's more often than not a direct channel in which I can express my concerns without feeling that I'm seen as me being upfront about it because I want my will to go through. Unless my concerns are taken in to consideration I feel that it's difficult to trust the individual. With male authority it can often feel like a cats staring contest as I'm (what I'm guessing) testing or observing him to see if he's worthy of my trust or not. If not then these are usually individuals that I value below average as they are in a position of authority and isn't worthy of it.

b) At least I think I'm suspicious to power. I find highly self-righteous power over others to be disgusting.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I view life in the same sense as if I believe in reincarnation, life allows each to form the eternal self. Why you are here is something that only you can answer for yourself.

I think we'll have a positive future ahead if we just stop glaring into the sky and start paying attention to all the people that constantly are being seen as dumb and lowly when they are the very core foundation of every society. Without the parasites that reap what others have sowed are gone from their positions I can't help but feel that for the most part the future has to be over all positive.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I generally relate to trust by trying to not be dependent on it. I try to give everyone the trust enough that they can prove themselves, yet my expectations are generally low but hopefully remain hidden. It makes life relatively friction-less as I can't be disappointed if they don't "perform". I think it gives me a relatively high tolerance as well I feel, as it allows me to focus on the positive. When in trust, such as when I trust my inner feelings to someone I can become hostile at times as being betrayed by someone that I've opened up to and trust is something that I really do take to heart.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a) I'm not quite sure what to write here, maybe mainly because I then afterwards can look at it and feel that it looks incredibly stupid.

b) That I have a hard time being in sync with my feelings, have a hard time sharing them, and can often find emotional intimacy difficult to deal with. And I also procrastinate a lot.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Insincerity. I'm not sure if it's my projection but it feels as if I often can accurately read people and how they feel [on the inside] when saying something, which I feel can be very useful in everything from realizing roughly why someone reacted the way they did, or which buttons to push for my own gain.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
It's automatic fight/flight-response I think, analyzing if the stranger is a threat or not. My becomes tense and ready, and head often goes blank and I'm in the present moment as if I'm noticing everything, looking deeply into whomever's eyes which often result in that they become nervous or fearful, and the conflict most often ends there. It's happened a few times now.

I'm easily taken by surprise by compliments about me personally, so I hope I at least don't look like I was insulted or something by it, I may just have a bit of trouble finding a good way to reply to it. :tongue:

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) Strong emotions actually, not feeling much at all would make life kind of boring in my opinion. Bursts of euphoria is wonderful and something I'm very thankful for having experienced without using drugs.

b) A more clear purpose in life. Not knowing what to strive or reach for in life leaves me passive.
 

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  • Your fight-flight response seems like that of a reactive type, and you don't strike me as a 4 or 8.
  • Your testing people for trust seems to be coupled pretty closely with the matter of being sensitive to insincerity, another indicator of 6 type.
  • Basic drive for 6s is said to be survival, and that seems to be portrayed in your envisioning a fight with other males, such fearfulness.
  • I picked up little hints of 4 in there, but I would say that your lifestyle and approach to life is a little more like a 4, some may call them a 4 fix.
 

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Rebel without a cause
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Discussion Starter #3
  • Your fight-flight response seems like that of a reactive type, and you don't strike me as a 4 or 8.
  • Your testing people for trust seems to be coupled pretty closely with the matter of being sensitive to insincerity, another indicator of 6 type.
  • Basic drive for 6s is said to be survival, and that seems to be portrayed in your envisioning a fight with other males, such fearfulness.
  • I picked up little hints of 4 in there, but I would say that your lifestyle and approach to life is a little more like a 4, some may call them a 4 fix.
I can see how 6 could fit, what detracted me from 6 initially was the Loyalty label and implications of stability, both something I'm struggling with. Is mood swings in general something that can be applicable to the E6? And what would be your take on wings?

What does the "4 fix" mean?
 

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I can see how 6 could fit, what detracted me from 6 initially was the Loyalty label and implications of stability, both something I'm struggling with. Is mood swings in general something that can be applicable to the E6? And what would be your take on wings?

What does the "4 fix" mean?
Fix was a tritype theory reference. The belief is that you gain a fixation from each of the three centers (thinking, feeling, instinctual), but one is a core type. I wouldn't bother with that but find your core type.

If you are a 6 then I'm pretty certain you would be considered a 6w5. Your issues with 6 are not something I'm knowledgeable enough to know the details to explain to you because what must be present in a type and not can be complicated and I don't want to mislead you.
 

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I can see how 6 could fit, what detracted me from 6 initially was the Loyalty label and implications of stability, both something I'm struggling with. Is mood swings in general something that can be applicable to the E6? And what would be your take on wings?

What does the "4 fix" mean?
You seem to be more Six than Five, and you're definitely a head type.

The label of Six being the "Loyalist" is incredibly misleading. Actually, right now some of the Sixes on this site are trying to come up with a new "label" since we all don't like being called the Loyalists. Names people have come up with have been things like The Questioner, The Skeptic, and The Seeker. Just to give you an idea of how we'd rather call ourselves. ^_^ Stability is definitely something Sixes struggle with, I think. A Six searches for so called "stability". Mood swings can be applicable, but that can depend on other things as well. I wouldn't worry too much about that.

As for wings, I think it is safe to say you're a 6w5. ^_^ So you weren't too far off the mark when you mistyped yourself as a Five. :)
 

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Rebel without a cause
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Discussion Starter #6
You seem to be more Six than Five, and you're definitely a head type.

The label of Six being the "Loyalist" is incredibly misleading. Actually, right now some of the Sixes on this site are trying to come up with a new "label" since we all don't like being called the Loyalists. Names people have come up with have been things like The Questioner, The Skeptic, and The Seeker. Just to give you an idea of how we'd rather call ourselves. ^_^ Stability is definitely something Sixes struggle with, I think. A Six searches for so called "stability". Mood swings can be applicable, but that can depend on other things as well. I wouldn't worry too much about that.

As for wings, I think it is safe to say you're a 6w5. ^_^ So you weren't too far off the mark when you mistyped yourself as a Five. :)
Yeah, well I think it was my fear more than anything that led me away from 6, because I don't want to be fearful. Which really confirms 6 to myself.

Thanks. :)
 

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@Inguz

641 --the philosopher archetype.

I say this because of the desires for originality and the fear of being angry (how you said you try to avoid situations that make you angry because you don't want to lose control). Fauvre said that the 641 is one of the most creative types on the enneagram but they feel a sense of twist and pull between giving into creative endeavors and abiding by their obligations/duties. She said they're often drawn to teaching. So, I don't know if that helped you but I hope so. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #8
@Inguz

641 --the philosopher archetype.

I say this because of the desires for originality and the fear of being angry (how you said you try to avoid situations that make you angry because you don't want to lose control). Fauvre said that the 641 is one of the most creative types on the enneagram but they feel a sense of twist and pull between giving into creative endeavors and abiding by their obligations/duties. She said they're often drawn to teaching. So, I don't know if that helped you but I hope so. :)
On a core level, doesn't 1's try to suppress their anger? And have a feeling of wanting to be incorruptible? Well I can write my own relation to anger and you can pick that apart.


I can often engulf myself in a feeling of anger, I don't see anything wrong with being angry, it even feels good a lot of the time as it blocks out my constant anxiety, and I feel as powerful as ever. In that state I can personally relate to what it feels like being a core 8, it feels so powerful like I could punch the world, but knowing that and my inexperience in dealing with anger in the past I've been like a hairbreadth from for example giving a much smaller girl a boot in the chest (judging by physique only she wouldn't stand much chance) for giving me a rail after I kicked some wooden trashcan to pieces (love problems). Luckily one of my best friends was there to hold me back a bit and she called for someone else who knew the girl who gave me a rail and pulled her away so she wouldn't throw herself in front of me. And that's probably why I don't see myself as a 1, but, when I'm not angry is when I may appear as a One -- when "sober" from anger and back to my anxiety I don't want to hurt anyone because of such silly things. To begin with it's not suffering that I would like to plague my guilt with (Fi?), but, the main reason is the consequences that it could potentially have for me if I did kick her to the ground -- bad rep, seen as unstable by others, getting others on edge for it, getting others in a state of taking revenge for her, and last but not least standing up in court for it, I don't want to accept the consequences of being convicted for assault when it's she who asked for it. She then gets to act like a retard, and I will have financial and possibly work-related consequences in the future for she being absolutely brain dead, railing on someone who just kicked a wooden trash can to pieces in frustration. Not to mention, she was participating in pouring white paint on the green copper statues seen here which actually ended up in the local newspaper, while the trashcan I kicked to pieces was behind the house on the right, free from view down the Avenue of Gothenburg, and she comes off steaming at Me?

The way I see it I don't fear "the anger in it self", but the possible consequences that it can have for me in the long run. I love my fiancé and want to treat her well, so of course I don't want to lose control? I'm ashamed of it, but I've given her a box on the ear once, she's my love and most precious yet I've physically hurt her. I want to control the outlet of my anger because I'm afraid to face the consequences of it. Avoiding in a preemptive manner while I still got a decent amount of self-control I can remove myself from the situation to hopefully avoid focusing my anger towards her, it's my fault that I react so strongly.

Other points that I don't relate to with One is Perfect and this sense of Incorruptible. Just to give an every day example: I think it's ethically correct to not eat meat, or at least avoid it as much as humanly possible, yet I have a hard time committing myself to the effort that it would mean to learn to cook vegetarian dishes. The effort to get there seems like a greater threshold to conquer than not applying myself fully to my own ethics.

Last time I directed it the way I wanted to see it go, so do like the police, use everything I say against me if plausible. :)
 

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On a core level, doesn't 1's try to suppress their anger? And have a feeling of wanting to be incorruptible? Well I can write my own relation to anger and you can pick that apart.

I can often engulf myself in a feeling of anger, I don't see anything wrong with being angry, it even feels good a lot of the time as it blocks out my constant anxiety, and I feel as powerful as ever. In that state I can personally relate to what it feels like being a core 8, it feels so powerful like I could punch the world, but knowing that and my inexperience in dealing with anger in the past I've been like a hairbreadth from for example giving a much smaller girl a boot in the chest (judging by physique only she wouldn't stand much chance) for giving me a rail after I kicked some wooden trashcan to pieces (love problems). Luckily one of my best friends was there to hold me back a bit and she called for someone else who knew the girl who gave me a rail and pulled her away so she wouldn't throw herself in front of me. And that's probably why I don't see myself as a 1, but, when I'm not angry is when I may appear as a One -- when "sober" from anger and back to my anxiety I don't want to hurt anyone because of such silly things. To begin with it's not suffering that I would like to plague my guilt with (Fi?), but, the main reason is the consequences that it could potentially have for me if I did kick her to the ground -- bad rep, seen as unstable by others, getting others on edge for it, getting others in a state of taking revenge for her, and last but not least standing up in court for it, I don't want to accept the consequences of being convicted for assault when it's she who asked for it. She then gets to act like a retard, and I will have financial and possibly work-related consequences in the future for she being absolutely brain dead, railing on someone who just kicked a wooden trash can to pieces in frustration. Not to mention, she was participating in pouring white paint on the green copper statues seen here which actually ended up in the local newspaper, while the trashcan I kicked to pieces was behind the house on the right, free from view down the Avenue of Gothenburg, and she comes off steaming at Me?

The way I see it I don't fear "the anger in it self", but the possible consequences that it can have for me in the long run. I love my fiancé and want to treat her well, so of course I don't want to lose control? I'm ashamed of it, but I've given her a box on the ear once, she's my love and most precious yet I've physically hurt her. I want to control the outlet of my anger because I'm afraid to face the consequences of it. Avoiding in a preemptive manner while I still got a decent amount of self-control I can remove myself from the situation to hopefully avoid focusing my anger towards her, it's my fault that I react so strongly.

Other points that I don't relate to with One is Perfect and this sense of Incorruptible. Just to give an every day example: I think it's ethically correct to not eat meat, or at least avoid it as much as humanly possible, yet I have a hard time committing myself to the effort that it would mean to learn to cook vegetarian dishes. The effort to get there seems like a greater threshold to conquer than not applying myself fully to my own ethics.

Last time I directed it the way I wanted to see it go, so do like the police, use everything I say against me if plausible. :)
I'm going with 648, then. That makes more sense. 4 integrates at 1. 6 is superego talking. 648 is triple reactive to justice and loyalty issues.
 
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