Personality Cafe banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
309 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm in a college were my strong Fe doesn't sit well in the environment. My school is very NT/ST and everyone is very ambitious, cutthroat and brilliant in every way. There seems to be a lot of coldness and apathy where I am despite the fact that the majority of these driven kids want careers that require that you are anything but. I'm very good at science and I'm a hard worker but I put no value in my academic achievements( i.e I'm doing all this for the pursuit of knowledge and with the mindset that I need to use my education as a tool to be what I want to be). I value caring for others more than beating them at the whole pre-med game so I'm very much the odd one out. I don't care about being understood but I am extremely frustrated at the fact that this place won't let me be myself. No one seems to get that I naturally want to help people, will listen to your problems, will accept you as you are, and am doing nothing for you out of self interest. I have one friend who hardly speaks to me because she thinks I'm too 'nice' for her which makes her guilty, another who's impossible to do something nice for because she thinks random acts of kindness are mere favors that she is obligated to return in order to be 'fair', and another who gets really upset and helpless by my 'sadness' and 'loneliness' which makes me feel like I'm somehow being a burden to her when I'm having my moments. (<--she hardly sees me and when she does I'm usually sleepy or world weary). This place has made go through a lot of much needed personal growth and I am quite mature in my way of thinking, but still I feel like I'm the one who has to do all the adjusting and accommodation in how I express my personality while everyone can just stay the same. I will never lose my principles or my caring self, but it seems as if I have to appear calculating and apathetic like everyone else. I have no problem with being an INFJ from in the shadows and strike when the time is right but is this normal? Is this the real world for the INFJ in the rational environment? Anyone have a similar experience?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
180 Posts
hey! wow, you are in the exact same boat as i am. also an infj premed with a high fe. thankfully though, i have an intj premed friend for support. yeah, i feel the same way as you - i also feel like i'm the only one doing it for the sake of helping people and working towards an impactful existence; everyone seems to want to do it for the money, the fame, the respect..

i don't know if it's normal, but i do that too - put myself in a different mode at school. i can usually tell what kind of person will appreciate my real personality though, so i sort of screen them first haha. it does, however, make me sort of disgusted at myself because i'm not showing my real self, and putting on so many different masks.

you should check out this thread (it has helped me a lot):
INFJ physicians around?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,148 Posts
I'm in a college were my strong Fe doesn't sit well in the environment. My school is very NT/ST and everyone is very ambitious, cutthroat and brilliant in every way. There seems to be a lot of coldness and apathy where I am despite the fact that the majority of these driven kids want careers that require that you are anything but. I'm very good at science and I'm a hard worker but I put no value in my academic achievements( i.e I'm doing all this for the pursuit of knowledge and with the mindset that I need to use my education as a tool to be what I want to be). I value caring for others more than beating them at the whole pre-med game so I'm very much the odd one out. I don't care about being understood but I am extremely frustrated at the fact that this place won't let me be myself. No one seems to get that I naturally want to help people, will listen to your problems, will accept you as you are, and am doing nothing for you out of self interest. I have one friend who hardly speaks to me because she thinks I'm too 'nice' for her which makes her guilty, another who's impossible to do something nice for because she thinks random acts of kindness are mere favors that she is obligated to return in order to be 'fair', and another who gets really upset and helpless by my 'sadness' and 'loneliness' which makes me feel like I'm somehow being a burden to her when I'm having my moments. (<--she hardly sees me and when she does I'm usually sleepy or world weary). This place has made go through a lot of much needed personal growth and I am quite mature in my way of thinking, but still I feel like I'm the one who has to do all the adjusting and accommodation in how I express my personality while everyone can just stay the same. I will never lose my principles or my caring self, but it seems as if I have to appear calculating and apathetic like everyone else. I have no problem with being an INFJ from in the shadows and strike when the time is right but is this normal? Is this the real world for the INFJ in the rational environment? Anyone have a similar experience?
because your so dam nice and Im nice Im just going to give you a hug as i have nothing constructive to say so
HUG!
 
  • Like
Reactions: mllesentiment

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,097 Posts
sometimes we just are stuck with personalitys that done fit what we do, at work I'm surrdoned by S expect great detail out of me when really I would rather just not and having a stage persences of being happy the whole time. Your best bet is to find your own way of keep up, without be something your not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
309 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
hey! wow, you are in the exact same boat as i am. also an infj premed with a high fe. thankfully though, i have an intj premed friend for support. yeah, i feel the same way as you - i also feel like i'm the only one doing it for the sake of helping people and working towards an impactful existence; everyone seems to want to do it for the money, the fame, the respect..

i don't know if it's normal, but i do that too - put myself in a different mode at school. i can usually tell what kind of person will appreciate my real personality though, so i sort of screen them first haha. it does, however, make me sort of disgusted at myself because i'm not showing my real self, and putting on so many different masks.

you should check out this thread (it has helped me a lot):
INFJ physicians around?
Wow cool forum! Thanks! I'm certain Infj physicians are not uncommon (especially in pediatrics and primary care), it's just that depending on the universities we start at we may seem to be. It's just so tiring and stressful where I'm at. Everyone here is like a machine. I figured well shucks if I'm gonna be made of metal I'm gonna be like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. I am not going to learn to care less, be cutthroat, or become anything more that people expect pre-meds to be that doesn't fit my style. I just have to adapt and blend in with the crowd or I won't get anywhere. Can't show how soft I am (I think infj's are pretty good at that)...My dear I hope we both come out of this alive and still ourselves. I refuse to be jaded.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,174 Posts
You know when I was kid, my stopbrother called social services on my stepmom.

We were sent to psychologists to determine if we were being abused.
Apparently my sister told the truth and was taken away.
I on the other hand had a sense of what was going on and lied through my teeth about questions that were unverifiable.
The way I saw it the abuse wasn't that bad, and a foster home wasn't for me.
I stayed where I was.
The question you have to ask is, is being yourself worth the pain?

the truth will set you free, but lies will make you comfortable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
I'm in a college were my strong Fe doesn't sit well in the environment. My school is very NT/ST and everyone is very ambitious, cutthroat and brilliant in every way. There seems to be a lot of coldness and apathy where I am despite the fact that the majority of these driven kids want careers that require that you are anything but. I'm very good at science and I'm a hard worker but I put no value in my academic achievements( i.e I'm doing all this for the pursuit of knowledge and with the mindset that I need to use my education as a tool to be what I want to be). I value caring for others more than beating them at the whole pre-med game so I'm very much the odd one out. I don't care about being understood but I am extremely frustrated at the fact that this place won't let me be myself. No one seems to get that I naturally want to help people, will listen to your problems, will accept you as you are, and am doing nothing for you out of self interest. I have one friend who hardly speaks to me because she thinks I'm too 'nice' for her which makes her guilty, another who's impossible to do something nice for because she thinks random acts of kindness are mere favors that she is obligated to return in order to be 'fair', and another who gets really upset and helpless by my 'sadness' and 'loneliness' which makes me feel like I'm somehow being a burden to her when I'm having my moments. (<--she hardly sees me and when she does I'm usually sleepy or world weary). This place has made go through a lot of much needed personal growth and I am quite mature in my way of thinking, but still I feel like I'm the one who has to do all the adjusting and accommodation in how I express my personality while everyone can just stay the same. I will never lose my principles or my caring self, but it seems as if I have to appear calculating and apathetic like everyone else. I have no problem with being an INFJ from in the shadows and strike when the time is right but is this normal? Is this the real world for the INFJ in the rational environment? Anyone have a similar experience?
I am in med school and I am INFJ. Study hard and get to medical school! Though the same people you talked about will be there, you will find quite a few INFJs and ENFJs who feel the same way you do. Try to find a medical school that has a communications class. You will love it. When we practice interviewing patients I get sooo high from the experience. We get to do what we naturally want to do, which is helping people by listening to them, accepting them as they are, and helping them for the pure joy of helping them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
People do not know or understand what they need like we do. Most do not feel/think that far. Since we can see what they are missing clearly, it causes us to become confused when our help is rejected or looked over. Most people can not see through the eyes or hearts of an INFJ. We are of another kind and often feel alone in this world. Instead of feeling alone at your college I think that you should make the best of it. Be as unique as you can let yourself. It will shine on the others weather you know it or not. Ask yourself this question: Do you really want to fit in with everyone else? What will that do for you? Will it make you happy or make things more lonely for you? Just be yourself and I think life will be more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. If people do not accept you then they are missing out on a rare person in this world. Some of the most famous and most inspirational people out there were once not accepted. Some have changed the world. So can you.

~ Elf
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,933 Posts
Due to different medical conditions growing up, I've had encounters with a lot of medical staff. As noted, since the physician's job is both social as well as highly paid and highly respected, it gets attention from humanitarians as well as people who are in it for the power position. As a patient, I've met both kinds. Meeting a goodwilled physician who is attentive and intelligent is a very ncie thing indeed. I've met a couple with whom I could relate to on a personal level. On the other hand, meeting somebody apathetic and calculating can be quite devastating, frankly.

So... Be the good kind! Surely down the road you will encounter colleagues of similar mindset. If your mind and your gut instinct has led you to where you are today, it can't be too wrong.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top