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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is pretty typical of most INFJ's. What's going on in your head when you do it?

Why do INFJ girls stare at me after every other thing I say? It makes me feel like I'm creeping them out or something, but they continue to talk to me regardless how creepy I may/may not be. I've resorted to just staring back at them with my rebuttal ISTP skepticism stare.
 

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I usually do not stare at someone if they are looking back after they are done talking since I am aware of how socially awkward it can be for both parties (now if they are not looking back at me, I probably will stare), but I certainly am prone to stare at something afterwords (i.e. off in space). This means I am thinking about what you said and, if it was interesting, probably expanding on it or thinking about why you would say what you did and what it tells me about you and people in general.

The longer I stare at you, the more interesting you are in some manner - "interesting" having a neutral connotation, really.

There is always a mixture of amusement and awkwardness if I get caught staring...
 

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It makes me feel like I'm creeping them out or something,
Is it never the other way around?
I creep people out (sometimes) when I stare. I don't actually stare. I glance and it comes off as if I'm staring, I don't know why. I hear people say "He is looking at you." I only glanced ! for heaven's sake.

In conversations..
I have a hard time looking at the person when I'm talking to them, but I'm practicing. There is never anything on my mind, I am just trying to focus on the person and also probably thinking of a good response either in words or facial expression.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Actually I've been discussing this with my brother. INFJ inferior functions are Se and Ti. So perhaps it takes longer for you to process what you're seeing and understanding?

When I smile at people, its for like, a split second; very subtle. I've actually given myself an interview in front of a camera just to see what I look like, and when I give smiles and eye contact its very, very brief. I wonder if that has something to do with it because the ISTP Se and Ti are way up top.
 

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Actually I've been discussing this with my brother. INFJ inferior functions are Se and Ti. So perhaps it takes longer for you to process what you're seeing and understanding?

When I smile at people, its for like, a split second; very subtle. I've actually given myself an interview in front of a camera just to see what I look like, and when I give smiles and eye contact its very, very brief. I wonder if that has something to do with it because the ISTP Se and Ti are way up top.
That might have something to do with it. I've found that when I finish a conversation with someone or someone has just told me something I end up spacing out but continue to think about what we were just talking about so I'm still staring at them but not really looking at them because I'm zoned out and in my own head, so its not like I'm actually watching them. Its almost like they've completely finished with the conversation and I'm still having it in my head... not in a crazy way:unsure:

I've actually practiced looking away at the end of conversations so that if I do end up doing this then I'm not staring at someone else lol Anyway, when I do this its usually just because I'm still thinking about the conversation and happened to be looking at the person when it happened lol
 

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I'm pretty sure my roommate was ISTP.. He would get offended if I didn't look at him in the eye. So I would stare at him in the eye, all the while I'm thinking doesn't he get uncomfortable because he never flinches. He just keeps looking into my eyes, even at times when we are in close distance of each other.
He's from France though...

Actually I've been discussing this with my brother. INFJ inferior functions are Se and Ti. So perhaps it takes longer for you to process what you're seeing and understanding?
Yea GreenCoyote made a "stoned" thread a few weeks ago.. Seemed like it was very common for intuitives (or INxx) to pass as being spaced out all the time. And yes I take a long time to process, but I'm also an HSP /or have SPS.
 

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I love my INFJ stare of death, I love my eyes in general.

But as for the topic, it could be a range of things but specifically when it is the "stare of death" it is just that. A pissed off INFJ is a very vengeful being person if motivated and bold enough to pursue that vengeance which doesn't happen often because we are withheld by our shyness or because it is difficult for us to be angry long but when something crosses the line of making us pissed for a long period of time, as I said above, watch out. The few times I have been that pissed it was a seething anger.
 

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This is pretty typical of most INFJ's. What's going on in your head when you do it?

Why do INFJ girls stare at me after every other thing I say? It makes me feel like I'm creeping them out or something, but they continue to talk to me regardless how creepy I may/may not be. I've resorted to just staring back at them with my rebuttal ISTP skepticism stare.
LOL! I love the title of this thread and I had to stop by and give my response. Hmmm...I'm going to approach this at different angles so bare with me.
(a) If you are a new person to me I may look at you to get a feel for you. Sort of like a baseline as to what kind of person you may be....truth teller or liar, relax or high strung, safe or unsafe, possible friend or possible opponent or neutral territory. In the end trying to understand where I stand in relation to you.
(b)If I've known you for a while...then I am trying to get a feel for how you are doing that day...mentally,physically and spiritually. If I see you are down in the dumps I might have an amusing story to tell you. If you are stressing I may try to find out if I can help you in some way to lighten your load. If you are getting sick I'll most likely shove a nice cup of hot tea in your hand :happy:
(c) Judging solely on your picture and nothing else I can see you are an active person, maybe likes to take risks (since you are on a raft and don't look the least bit scared) which makes me think you may like to push buttons with some of the things you say? Just to see how the other person may react? If you are then the INFJ is going to start giving you the stare for sure to assess if you are for real or not. We don't like to be tested or our buttons pushed and if you do it long enough you may just set off our warning bells as to how emotionally/physically safe we are around you and when provoked we will start giving you a hard stare.This is not good. You don't want to tease the tiger and find it out of it's cage. Let me know where to send the flowers.....

Something tells me you are a bit fun and mischievous so if you want to keep your INFJ friends (because we make good companions...at least on the loyalty front) Don't stare at us....we don't like it. If you are not quite sure you are making the other person uncomfortable with what you are saying or they are making you uncomfortable just say so in a nice way. If they are really an INFJ they will apologize and change the way they are treating/reacting to you. The nice thing about being with an INFJ is that we like people who are genuine so you don't have to front and just be yourself. :cool:
 

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Mmmmm. I can tell you. Firt off, I like ISTPs. Mmm hmm. Next, as a person who scored INFJ strongly and frequently during the teen years, I'll say what the stare is. It means four possible things: 1. Your eyes are nice to look at, 2. There is something weird in your eye and we're trying not to laugh and if we knew you an ISTP we'd just freaking tell you it was there damnit! 3. You are hot, therefore fun to stare at.....OR 4. We are peering inside your mind, summing up every little thing you say to get to the core of your soul, your dreams, your motivations, what made you yourself and why you are saying the things you are saying and how you came to be that. In the end, we WILL end up with the bigger picture of who you are, and we will have been most likely to figure out the whole of you and your intentions more so than any other personality or best friend or sibling or parent ever will.......:wink:
 

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Ya, exactly! Don't stare at us! Do not stare unless you want me to try to kiss you, or physically restrain you in a not flirtatious way....
Well if you put it that way, I'm gonna stare more. :D

Hard stare
Chicken stare
sensual stare
disappointed stare
curious and aroused stare
Sexual perverted stare
blank vacant stare
Lazy eye stare
 

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Can someone please a post an image of someone doing such a stare? I don't know what kinda stare we're really alluding to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I've seen the death stare extensively on INTJs too. I wonder if there is any difference.
I think my stare isn't "of death" though.
INTJ's stare when, as my INTJ brother put it, "his brain is starting to swell because he's waiting for you to start making sense."
 

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I usually don't stare at people and even in conversation my eyes move but my head stays focused on them. I've worked to make it better by not focusing on a specific area like the eyes but on the person’s face. I also don't like it when people stare at me and I’m trying to improve that also.

Ah but when it comes to the "death stare" I had those in extreme cases when the other person is doing something unbelievably inappropriate like being very mean especially to another person or being a total jerk. It kind of looks like the second picture Elan put, head down, eyes looking up with stone like features on the face. I've stopped people dead in their tracts by using it because it is completely out of character since most of the time I'll be smiling in the company of others. In such cases I’ll be thinking or rather screaming in my head “you better stop what you are doing right now!!!”
 

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I tend to stare a lot, and I may not call it 'of death'. But people have told me that they feel lost when they looked into my eyes, an unpleasant feeling of loneliness (not of them, but rather coming out of me), shivers on their back, overwhelmed by my presence etc., but they never complained they felt 'death'.
I generally have this look, so it doesn't require for the others to specifically have done something 'wrong' to me. It's just... the way I am.
 
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