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You share them. It sounds better coming from you.
I disagree. I'm going to paste your words from our texts.

Our youth pastor was playing the keyboard and I was just staring at his hands, enamored. ESFJ friend (Kate) said Simba was looking around our pastor and smiling and staring at me, but looked away when he saw that Kate was watching.

[Probably insignificant] Then, he and our pastor were being silly and I said something about how I love weird people. Simba came over to me, gave me a fist bump and started, randomly, asking me if I had ever heard of a genre called choircore or something. We talked a bit and then he walked away.

And then I was carrying a bass amp and Simba asked me, "you okay? You got it?" And I said "I got it" and he helped me put it on a roller thingy.

And then we watched this video of a kid who fell off a wall he climbed. I was like, "did he just die!? 'Cause that would be sad, and I'd feel like a jerk for laughing. " Simba and I made eye contact at that point and just kind of smiled at each other.

[Seemingly insignificant] We made eye contact and I stupidly just smiled and waved at him for a few seconds and he was just looking and so I was like "crap" and so i stopped and looked away but I think just as I did that he started waving back, because of the corner of my eye I saw his hand awkwardly do a small waving motion as he looked away and towards our pastor.
 

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Except Socionics INFj is described as Fi, Ne, Si, Te. Which is MBTI's INFP.
I'm talking about MBTI INFJ not the Socionics INFj.

In MBTI INFJ has functions of Ni Fe Ti Se, and this type is in relations of extinguishment with Ne Fi Te Si type which is ENFP. These are called "extinguishment" relations because all of their functions are turned inside out: Ni-Ne, Fe-Fi, Ti-Te, Se-Si. These types mute, or extinguish, each other.
 

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Ooh. I'm sooo not the confrontational type. *bites nails.*

I'll just... hide in a corner or something?
You could just woo him the INFJ way... ;) Maybe ask him to help you out with some song or something in regards to your common musical hobby, to get some alone time. If he likes you things will probably just develop naturally into interesting conversations you never want to stop and wanting to see more of each other...

INFJs and ENFPs are in extinguishment relations, read more about it here if you wish: ENFP Love Types
I respect the viewpoint but at the same time it really seems that very many INFJs have life long ENFP best friends and it's one of the few types many find really easy to interact with. The MBTI articles often cite both Ne-doms as the ideal match for Ni-doms and as I understand it's not uncommon at all. I know socionics takes a different approach with the whole duality idea.
My personal observation is the INFJ-ENFP relationships that take off seem to be quite happy. The more introverted INFJs don't always feel comfortable dating an extrovert but the more adventurous ones (like myself) seem to be quite attracted to either Ne-type.
A note worthy thing is there are usually no "My ENFP husband is driving me nuts" threads. Lol. This again is my personal observation, but it seems that the male ENFP-female INFJ pairing seems to very little trouble or hard feelings even when the relationship breaks (those INFJ females who have shared their experience refer to it often as a very illuminating experience during which they gained a new kind of a confidence and self-understanding ) ...Romantically I have had a few non successful ENFP relationships but my own marriage to a male ENFP is going on it's 7th year and has been very successful. I personally tolerate his messy "important stuff" piles and impromptu "Let's go on a week long cross the country adventure drive!(No planning) Get your tooth brush! We're leaving NOW!" as the pay off is a life less ordinary with someone who genuinely has a kind heart and great character. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #28
You could just woo him the INFJ way... ;) Maybe ask him to help you out with some song or something in regards to your common musical hobby, to get some alone time. If he likes you things will probably just develop naturally into interesting conversations you never want to stop and wanting to see more

...Romantically I have had a few non successful ENFP relationships but my own marriage to a male ENFP is going on it's 7th year and has been very successful. I personally tolerate his messy "important stuff" piles and impromptu "Let's go on a week long cross the country adventure drive!(No planning) Get your tooth brush! We're leaving NOW!" as the pay off is a life less ordinary with someone who genuinely has a kind heart and great character. :)
I'm terribly shy, but I'm becoming more comfortable around him, and I'm actually able to form intelligible sentences now. (;

Congratulations on your marriage, first of all. Second, yes! I definitely need an ENFP. I have an insatiable case of wanderlust and need someone spontaneous enough to get me to actually go without all of the nervous-type planning I'm so prone to.

As for the messy type piles... I have a bad habit of appearing pretty disorganized. I always know where everything is though. (;
 

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I respect the viewpoint but at the same time it really seems that very many INFJs have life long ENFP best friends and it's one of the few types many find really easy to interact with.
What you're saying does not contradict with what that article describes of extinguishment aka contrary relations. It mentions that these relations are often attractive, that both partners are often fascinated by one another and amazed by each other's unusual flow of thoughts. Yet, due to differences in functions there will always be some awkwardness between them.

The MBTI articles often cite both Ne-doms as the ideal match for Ni-doms and as I understand it's not uncommon at all. I know socionics takes a different approach with the whole duality idea.
I'd disagree with this, both from personal experience and from theoretical point of view. In relationships where both partners are intuitive types, both eventually become starved from lack of sensing. Neither of them is able to support the other's inferior sensing function. Sometimes competition starts up between them, the NTs will try to dominate the NFs with their intellect resulting in NFs feeling disenchanted with their partners. When one person in the couple is a sensing type and another is intuitive there is less stepping on each other's toes and vying for the same intuitive territory.
 

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When one person in the couple is a sensing type and another is intuitive there is less stepping on each other's toes and vying for the same intuitive territory.
I'd have to disagree with you here. I, as an INFJ, avoid sensors like the plague. I have one S friend (ISFP) and it took us nearly three years to stop arguing all the time. While we don't bicker like we used to, it's like we're almost walking on glass when we disagree on something. While I care for her deeply and wouldn't trade her friendship for anything, she thinks far too differently than me. My youth pastor's wife is an ISFJ and I care for her as well, but I think if she were a friend rather than a mentor the situation would be very much the same as with my ISFP friend.

I don't think you can focus only on the S and N interaction. You really have to see the whole picture of the entire type interacting with the other type. Some Ns might do really great with Ss, but when it comes to INFJs... Well, a romantic relationship with a sensing type is a disaster waiting to happen.

I don't know how ENFPs interacting with S types, but I know my ISFP friend definitely rubs my ENFP friend the wrong way.

I definitely prefer Ns, because they generally think the same way as I do. While every relationship has its problems and everyone banters from time to time, I find that a relationship between an INFJ and an ENFP is much more harmonious than a relationship between an INFJ and an ISFP, ISFJ, or ESFP (I have couple of those as friends as well, and I'm not sure how to handle them).
 

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What you're saying does not contradict with what that article describes of extinguishment aka contrary relations. It mentions that these relations are often attractive, that both partners are often fascinated by one another and amazed by each other's unusual flow of thoughts. Yet, due to differences in functions there will always be some awkwardness between them.


I'd disagree with this, both from personal experience and from theoretical point of view. In relationships where both partners are intuitive types, both eventually become starved from lack of sensing. Neither of them is able to support the other's inferior sensing function. Sometimes competition starts up between them, the NTs will try to dominate the NFs with their intellect resulting in NFs feeling disenchanted with their partners. When one person in the couple is a sensing type and another is intuitive there is less stepping on each other's toes and vying for the same intuitive territory.
With my S heavy friends (who I love dearly) it took them about 10 years to figure out I'm not a complete ineffectual space cake, whereas most N-doms get the gist pretty easily. Lol. I had terrible fights with my ESTP work partner. Before people naturally integrate their inferior function, having someone around to constantly act as a reminder there is great danger of unconscious projection. That's my view on that matter.
To me the socionics view seems to be almost like externalising tour weaker functions. I'm kind of in the opinion it's everyone's job to integrate them all on their own to become complete individuals.


I dated an ENTP for three years, in a living together situation, and he often remarked that I was the smarter one. :p ;) I didn't feel dominated much. I did get to argue semantics quite a lot though. Lol.

I don't mind someone else being intuitive. I feel it's easier to discuss things when both people are on the same page so to speak. Other than people I befriended via work my BFFs are ENFP, ENFJ and ENTJ. These are 15+ years close friendships.

My husband has dominant Ne, and he's more active by nature than I am. Since we got married I got introduced to his hobbies which feed my Se, like motorcycling, finding exotic dining places, cooking, dancing and jumble sale bargain hunting for things to revamp. :)
 

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Smacking a girl in the head with fun noodle and playing a children's game was my go to move with girls. lol. Now I just try and start random games of tag.

On the OP. One thing a lot of ENFP guys don't want to admit is that we can be pretty awkward with girls at times. I think the ENFP females don't really run across this problem because they are the ones being asked out so they already feel like the guy likes them. They just have to say yes or no. I think if he likes you he might try to find excuses to spend more time with you even as just friends.

If you are feeling impatient with him and want to date the guy I suggest sending strong signals. I mean be obvious because he might be talking himself out of the idea that you like him. That's my advice. Take it or leave it.
 

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Aww this situation sounds really sweet :3 well I'm not really sure if this advice will help because I'm a female ENFP, but he does sound interested. But then at the same time, he may just be excited about you now, and get bored later. Because when I meet new people, I get really excited, especially if they generally seem fun and cool, but then sometimes I'd get bored of the people and be a little less 'enthusiastic' about them, or I'd find something about them which would just put me off. Basically, it sounds like this guy finds you absolutely fascinating! He must just think you're very interesting, funny and cute! In fact, I like the sound of you too! ENFPs love excitement and adventure! Keep an ENFP excited and having fun, and they will keep you in their heart! But I'm not trying to say that he's gonna get bored of you eventually! In fact, just in case he does, I advise you to just make a move, try and let him know that you're into him, or just somehow show that you like him. And trust me, if the message gets through, and he feels the same way, he WILL make a move. ENFPs, even the females, (well me at least) will not hesitate to make the first move! oh btw, my boyfriend is an INFJ, and I absolutely love him! <3
 
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