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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I was just reading a thread from the ENFJ forum on an ENFJ with an eating disorder who MBTi tested ISTJ http://personalitycafe.com/enfj-forum-givers/146728-enfj-anorexia-tested-istj-mbti.html

It was very interesting and basically what I drew from it was that under extreme pressure from others and from the self, and from pressure from the self, people's personality type can test as completely different to who they really are or wish to be.

So I guess I'm interested in two different ideas, the conflict of who an INFP is and the type they'd like to be (or think that they should be) and also the idea that we become a 'shadow' type under stress and what type is the shadow type? how do they behave?

Has this anyone here or ever manifested the 'shadow' or opposite type? or put pressure on themselves to be someone or a type that they are not?
Apparently for INFPs the 'shadow' type is ESTJ,
Has anyone become an ESTJ under stress or can recount an experience of trying to be another type?

How would a stressed out INFP becoming their 'shadow' behave?

My personal experience is that I used to type in MBTi as an ENTP as a child, possibly because I was very close to my mother and she was an ENTP, I still think that ideally, I should be more removed and logical about things and I think that sometimes this makes it harder for me to choose suitable jobs and partners that would be compatible with the INFP me and not the ENTP me that I would like to be.

Does anyone have similar experiences of wanting to be or believing that they should be a different type?

In an ideal world I guess we would all be happy with who we are,
but I'm guessing that sometimes stress etc. can lead us down paths that aren't exactly ideal :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Hmm well no one answered but I did have a look around and apparently Infps become bullying tyrants when under a lot of stress and project this onto Estjs, I suppose this could be true I'm not sure, I suppose if I really feel stressed I can become picky and even yell.
 

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Under stress, I get very short with people. I'm just super focused and so any little distraction pisses me off and irritates me. I'll be very blunt with people and I know I'm coming across and cold and maybe even hurting people's feelings but I don't care because the only thing that matters is the goal. I also can remain cool and collected on the outside even if my head is scrambling inside.

After everything is all taken care of, I return to my quiet friendly self, and sometimes have to apologize for being so cold to friends and family. If I know a stressful time will be coming up, I'll actually warn them in advance that I will be like that to them.
 

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I guess I am kind of an asshole. I try to be nice all the time but I just cannot restraint myself from time to time. Maybe this means that I am unhappy or unhealthy and that I have to focus those feelings on something else.

If such behavior is ESTJ style, I am not sure. I will have to do some reading on them.
 

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My shadow side is a selfish, narcissistic arsehole who becomes ill-aware of my surroundings, the consequences of what I do to others and even myself at times and in general people. Whilst I do acknowledge that I need to be less selfless at times, I know that's a bad path to take.

As it so happens, it correlates with my 'ESTJ' coming out. You can hardly blame it being a bitch seeing as my Te isn't developed at all, and my Si is poorly developed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
As it so happens, it correlates with my 'ESTJ' coming out. You can hardly blame it being a bitch seeing as my Te isn't developed at all, and my Si is poorly developed.
Yeah, I'm kind of the same with under developed Si and Te- I had some problems with an Estj ex boss who I felt extremely stressed by and ranted and raved at, at the time I felt suspicious that the dynamic was all the fault of the bully ex boss but I wonder much was the fault of projecting the 'shadow self.'
 

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Recently at work I went ballistic on a guy. I manage a small team and was on a conference call with two of my best people and this fairly new guy from another department. The guy was being critical and condescending. He also did not know what he was talking about. My team members were being very patient and trying to educate him. Something in me just snapped. I took an attitude of I’ve been with the company 15 years and he is new and am I manger and he is not. How dare he criticize my team. I lite into him. Chewed him out royal. The two other people on the call I’ve worked with for 8 & 10 years. I spoke with each of them individually later and they were shocked at my reaction. One said I had embarrassed her and the other was happy I stood up to the asshole (which felt patronizing). I took offense at both reactions but kept that to myself.

Had it just been him and I, I probably would have been patient and nice with him, but he was criticizing my people and I felt the need to defend them.
 

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I switch types very often, and now, the frequency of changes is increasing. I lose and gain hope even few times a day. Who am I?

WHO AM I?!
 

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I just mostly finished a very, very large and difficult creative project, on which I was working with two other people. I wrote the script and played the main character and wrote the mother****ing soundtrack, AND I had to deal with my two group members, a self-defeating emotional-black-hole ISFJ (our director and editor) and a self-absorbed but stifled and oppressed INTJ (male lead and coordinator). For most of the project I just trailed along and offered my creativity and my help when either of my group members fell into a pit of sorrow and destruction, and struggled to stay afloat and maintain my inner peace. It was hard, I tell you, because the ISFJ is my best friend and when she starts wallowing in self-hate she instinctively drags the people around her down as well. I had to deal with two weeks of,
"I hate your acting." "This whole thing is stupid." "I hate his acting." "I don't know why we're even doing this."

She doesn't mean it as an insult towards me. She means it as an insult towards herself. However, that makes it a hundred times worse for me, because lending a helping hand to her feels like sticking my helping hand down a running garbage disposal. Oh, and the extras we had to organize for this thing. They were the worst. I felt like I had to entertain them the whole time because they were volunteering. We are literally less than a day away from the premiere of this movie. I am so glad that it's finally over. I haven't slept properly in days. Anyways, where was I? Oh yes.

For most of the project, I was the helpful buffer-class character I always am. But for several brief moments throughout the two weeks, as well as four full days in the end, I was wearing what I started referring to as my "ESTJ business suit". Instead of, "Oh, just relax everyone! Let's get creative and have some intellectual fun." I was all, "Ok people, STOP FOOLING AROUND! We've got less than an hour until the custodians kick us out of here so we have to MOVE IT! SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY."

I recall actually saying, in real life,
"Alright people, let's make this happen fast, fast, fast!" That's not the sort of thing that would usually come out of my mouth. I generally don't address 'people' or refer to acting a scene as 'making this happen.' And you know what? People actually listened to me. When I'm my normal self they're nice to me and respectfully listen to and then dismiss what I have to say as "oh, creative little Madeline." But angry stressed-out deadline ESTJ Madeline gets results, dammit. As much as I've missed sleeping and eating at regular intervals and having free time, I've sort of enjoyed the power trip, just a little bit.

I think if me from four weeks ago met me from today, I-she would hate now-me. It'll wear off, probably. Once I get away from these people for awhile and get back to my normal patterns of sleep.
 
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OP: The INFP shadow is not ESTJ.

It is ENFJ.

The shadow is the opposite (in terms of introversion or extraversion) to the cognitive functions already possessed.

INFP (Fi.Ne.Si.Te) becomes
ENFJ (Fe.Ni.Se.Ti)
 
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