[nPicc]

This thread was created out of my curiosity at the changes in INTPs as they mature. INTPs, what were you like as children, teenagers, adults? Which are the biggest changes you have noted in the years that you have paid attention to such changes? I found out that I was an INTP only last year, and have changed greatly since then. I'm only fifteen, and therefore haven't had enough time to notice too many changes in myself, but I have analyzed myself carefully as a hobby, and one of the differences I have seen between my younger and older self is how much less I care about style now and how much more I worry about content when speaking to others and writing. Before, my words were bombastic and had no point to them.

If I'm being vague, I'll clarify. At 14, I now realize I was foolish and childish, concerned with appearing intelligent to others and all that by but the words I chose and how I chose to say them. I couldn't help noticing that older INTPs cared less about grammatical rules, spelling, and the overall style of their sentences-- they seemed to be concerned with saying much more than less. It confused me, although I understand it now. When did that change happen for you, if ever, and describe similar changes if you can. I don't mean that such changes have to do with incorrect usage of language (although if that was you at my age, by all means, tell) but have to have the similar concept of using things for the wrong reasons, like me with trying to sound pretentious *winces* and being unconcerned with what I was actually saying.

If it's still not clear, I'm asking you to share anything you did for purposes which you later deemed unimportant and foolish. Tell me of the shortcuts you've taken in life-- of the rules you've discovered and of things you were concerned with which were unnecessary, as you now know.

Or you can share the changes you've noted as your personality has developed further, affected by factors such as experience. This should be interesting!

Oh: if you happen to know this thread was already created, just (please!) steer me in the correct direction. Hold your tomatoes.

 

[DarkBarlow]

You passed right by and failed to notice...the mentality of an eight-year-old is the sweet spot.

 

[joshman108]

Kind of off topic, but I always felt like my mental functioning has always been fully developed. I often hear adults jokingly laugh as they recall how brains/ability to think/reason/rationality/decision making sucks as kids. Granted, this is true for maturity which I think has more to do with life experience than mental processing, but I'm always sad when I hear people say that stuff. My brain has always been super sharp and I've always been fully aware of myself from an intellectual standpoint. I've always had the ability to look at various sides of issues. Of course, I suppose that's because Ti is our primary function. But I can't imagine growing up without that. What's it even like living without Ti? God it must suck. Reminds me of that calvin and hobbes strip "I imagine being a girl is alot like being a bug. I imagine bugs and girl must have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them but they lack the intelligence to comprehend the magnitude of it".

That's not to insult anyone that has other primary functions or to insinuate that other people don't have the ability to think (that's absurd). I just love Ti and it's sad when I hear adults jokingly reminisce about being a child and lacking the ability to think.

Wow, that was ramble-y

 

[Dasein]

This thread was created out of my curiosity at the changes in INTPs as they mature. INTPs, what were you like as children, teenagers, adults? Which are the biggest changes you have noted in the years that you have paid attention to such changes? I found out that I was an INTP only last year, and have changed greatly since then. I'm only fifteen, and therefore haven't had enough time to notice too many changes in myself, but I have analyzed myself carefully as a hobby, and one of the differences I have seen between my younger and older self is how much less I care about style now and how much more I worry about content when speaking to others and writing. Before, my words were bombastic and had no point to them.

If I'm being vague, I'll clarify. At 14, I now realize I was foolish and childish, concerned with appearing intelligent to others and all that by but the words I chose and how I chose to say them. I couldn't help noticing that older INTPs cared less about grammatical rules, spelling, and the overall style of their sentences-- they seemed to be concerned with saying much more than less. It confused me, although I understand it now. When did that change happen for you, if ever, and describe similar changes if you can. I don't mean that such changes have to do with incorrect usage of language (although if that was you at my age, by all means, tell) but have to have the similar concept of using things for the wrong reasons, like me with trying to sound pretentious *winces* and being unconcerned with what I was actually saying.

If it's still not clear, I'm asking you to share anything you did for purposes which you later deemed unimportant and foolish. Tell me of the shortcuts you've taken in life-- of the rules you've discovered and of things you were concerned with which were unnecessary, as you now know.

Or you can share the changes you've noted as your personality has developed further, affected by factors such as experience. This should be interesting!

Oh: if you happen to know this thread was already created, just (please!) steer me in the correct direction. Hold your tomatoes.

Your post gives me much to reflect about. I'll just mention my initial comments now on language.

I've known since I was an early teen that I communicated differently. Older girls (women) noticed this in me and told me on several occasions. I've also had several other adults bring this to my attention when I was young. I've always been interested in making myself clearly understood, but the grammatical structures of written language (English) often eluded me. Often I didn't care. I was more interested in the math and sciences. As long as I could get my point across verbally, that is what I cared about most.

It was similar when learning a second language (German). The grammatical structures with various cases of the definite and indefinite articles were (and still are) a nightmare for me to learn and constructing sentences on-the-fly without errors. I was often told that although my grammatical speech had errors, my accent that I picked up in German was excellent. I got a pretty good intuitive understanding of the spoken language.

Lately, I've been interested in other aspects of languages as a hobby. Both in colloquial dialects of German (specifically Swiss German and Pennsylvania German) and in this podcast describing the History of the English language. This podcast has given me a whole new perspective and appreciation for all those inconsistency and exceptions in the English language. It is a fascinating podcast.

Episodes | The History of English Podcast

 

[Ialti]

This thread was created out of my curiosity at the changes in INTPs as they mature. INTPs, what were you like as children, teenagers, adults? Which are the biggest changes you have noted in the years that you have paid attention to such changes? I found out that I was an INTP only last year, and have changed greatly since then. I'm only fifteen, and therefore haven't had enough time to notice too many changes in myself, but I have analyzed myself carefully as a hobby, and one of the differences I have seen between my younger and older self is how much less I care about style now and how much more I worry about content when speaking to others and writing. Before, my words were bombastic and had no point to them.

If I'm being vague, I'll clarify. At 14, I now realize I was foolish and childish, concerned with appearing intelligent to others and all that by but the words I chose and how I chose to say them. I couldn't help noticing that older INTPs cared less about grammatical rules, spelling, and the overall style of their sentences-- they seemed to be concerned with saying much more than less. It confused me, although I understand it now. When did that change happen for you, if ever, and describe similar changes if you can. I don't mean that such changes have to do with incorrect usage of language (although if that was you at my age, by all means, tell) but have to have the similar concept of using things for the wrong reasons, like me with trying to sound pretentious *winces* and being unconcerned with what I was actually saying.

If it's still not clear, I'm asking you to share anything you did for purposes which you later deemed unimportant and foolish. Tell me of the shortcuts you've taken in life-- of the rules you've discovered and of things you were concerned with which were unnecessary, as you now know.

Or you can share the changes you've noted as your personality has developed further, affected by factors such as experience. This should be interesting!

Oh: if you happen to know this thread was already created, just (please!) steer me in the correct direction. Hold your tomatoes.

Very generally...

The things that I've most noticed about my own maturity have related to the two horrifying topics of INTPness: A) What do I do with my life and how do I decide what/how/where I want to be? (B) Emotions. What are these things and how do I make them not be harmful to me/infringe on the borders of my rationality? And what do I do with them?

And of course both of these questions involve both my internal logical structure and the people around me.

As I've grown a bit I've become a bit more used to handling my emotions, to seeing the feelings I get occasionally as real things, and consequently I've been able to emote more--to act less precise and more warmly toward the people around me. And I've been able to better express in logical terms the feelings I get, which allows me to see more meaning in the stories and things around me, and seeing further is in this case (I think) a better, fuller experience.

And for the rest... I think I've just grown to be more alright with the idea of going with the flow and damn the torpedoes. Life's a whole lot less stressful that way, I think.

 

[Amelia]

I behaved a lot differently as a young teenager than I do now. When I first took the test at like 14, I was an INFP. I was a lot more foolish and emotionally volitale. I self-harmed, looked emo, and didn't eat ever. I look back at those times and am eternally grateful that I'm not that weak anymore.

I think I really became an INTP after growing up and maturing in my later teens, and also while progressing through an unhealthy relationship with an INFJ. I grew cold and couldn't relate to his feelings. His outbursts irritated me and made no rational sense. (He had several mental disorders).

I'm happy where I am in life now. I have a 4.0 in college, I have a job, and I'm excited for my future. I may not have very strong emotions about anything and may be stressed the hell out, but life is still good.

 

[nPicc]

Kind of off topic, but I always felt like my mental functioning has always been fully developed. I often hear adults jokingly laugh as they recall how brains/ability to think/reason/rationality/decision making sucks as kids. Granted, this is true for maturity which I think has more to do with life experience than mental processing, but I'm always sad when I hear people say that stuff. My brain has always been super sharp and I've always been fully aware of myself from an intellectual standpoint. I've always had the ability to look at various sides of issues.

Don't we all always feel that way? I've never been anything but INTP, so for the other types I wouldn't know, but it's not until people compare themselves to others that they become aware of how developed their brains are or are not. It's all relative, isn't it, because there's no other way to measure it that everyone can agree on? When I was fourteen, I understood things as well as I thought I ever would, thinking that I would acquire more knowledge but not really have the capacity to think more more deeply or abstractly, or anything of the sort. I wouldn't have even noticed the change-- just as we look in the mirror everyday and see the same person, but someone very different and unfamiliar, even, when we look at older photographs-- had I not kept a journal. Memory is wonderful because it allows us to remember ourselves and who we are when not in the 'now', but we still forget the little things that we waved aside for their subtlety.

I'm asking you, basically, what you're saying. Are you saying that, looking back now, you are hardly any different than you were at a different stage in life when it comes to mental development/ awareness, or that you can't look back and say you ever remember being "less aware" like other adults do because you always felt aware? If the latter, didn't we all think we were as aware as we could get, because it was the most developed our minds ever had been? That's what I wonder.

 

[PandaBoo]

Basically, when you get older, you find yourself a comfy chair and:

 

[Tetsuo Shima]

I'm an INFP, and I acted like an INTP 5w4 as a child and an ENFP 8w7 as a teenager.

 

[joshman108]

I'm asking you, basically, what you're saying. Are you saying that, looking back now, you are hardly any different than you were at a different stage in life when it comes to mental development/ awareness, or that you can't look back and say you ever remember being "less aware" like other adults do because you always felt aware?

Both, although you seem to think of them as different things so maybe we aren't at the same understanding of them.

Let me clarify. I currently have more experience from which to draw upon which aids me in my mental pursuits but my base level of mental functioning has been constant. For instance, I was no less prone to acting without thinking then than I am now. That's typically something people do as kids but slowly age out of because most people don't have Ti as a primary function. Maybe I did act slightly more without thinking then, but you get my drift.

 

[Ialti]

I behaved a lot differently as a young teenager than I do now. When I first took the test at like 14, I was an INFP. I was a lot more foolish and emotionally volitale. I self-harmed, looked emo, and didn't eat ever. I look back at those times and am eternally grateful that I'm not that weak anymore.

I think I really became an INTP after growing up and maturing in my later teens, and also while progressing through an unhealthy relationship with an INFJ. I grew cold and couldn't relate to his feelings. His outbursts irritated me and made no rational sense. (He had several mental disorders).

I'm happy where I am in life now. I have a 4.0 in college, I have a job, and I'm excited for my future. I may not have very strong emotions about anything and may be stressed the hell out, but life is still good.

Are you sure you didn't just grow into a more mature INFP?
And hey now! INFPs are not weak. They're almost always just as deep as INTPs, but like the feelies more than the logics.

 

[SouDesuNyan]

I used to get pushed around a lot mostly by strong, opinionated, emotional people. Now, I don't take them too seriously. I don't even take my own thoughts and emotions seriously. I don't follow the news or social media or facebook. I stopped entertaining others and trying to be the funny guy with the quick wit (younger Ti-Ne or Ne-Ti tend to act this way). I don't have to value what others value. Also, there's no meaning to life. Some people discover this truth and become depressed, but an INTP would probably feel liberated, as I did.

 

[Ialti]

I used to get pushed around a lot mostly by strong, opinionated, emotional people. Now, I don't take them too seriously. I don't even take my own thoughts and emotions seriously. I don't follow the news or social media or facebook. I stopped entertaining others and trying to be the funny guy with the quick wit (younger Ti-Ne or Ne-Ti tend to act this way). I don't have to value what others value. Also, there's no meaning to life. Some people discover this truth and become depressed, but an INTP would probably feel liberated, as I did.

Just because so many things are malleable doesn't mean there isn't any meaning. It just means that meaning is flexible. And if you find truth someday, there you find static meaning that bleeds over into everything else.

 

[Jennywocky]

I was raised by SJs and in a religious subculture, so that had some influence on my initial expressions of personality.

Some INTPs are more overtly blunt from a young age, whereas with the religious and social training thing I typically came across as "nice" because I was trying to fit in and keep my life stable. But around the few people who really knew me and I trusted, and of course in my own head, I was much more blunt and rather sardonic and critical of what I saw as stupid or over-emotional behavior. And since my world was a little crazy, I tended to over-reason. Everything had to make sense or I couldn't trust it, and I would tear things apart and decide their value on whether or not it could be adequately supported logically.

Earlier in my marriage, I was also colder and tended to dismiss emotional displays, and not see as much need for connection. I was really independent and expected everyone else to be really independent and self-sufficient or they were weak in some way.

The biggest shifts that happened as moved through life, then, was when I realized that not everything made sense and/or I wouldn't always be able to rationally justify everything. There are just some things we don't know. I ended up trusting my intuition more than I had in the past, instead of tearing my perceptions apart.

I also stopped caring about being able to justify my choices to others rationally; instead of wanting to be accepted by others or at least viewed as rational by everyone, I was willing to accept the thought that maybe there were things I wanted and desired that aren't necessarily "rational" in explanation, and it was okay. It seems a larger percentage of INTPs struggle with life purpose and feeling good about life than some other types, and I think it's because we naturally try to rationalize everything and detach from ourselves to evaluate things... yet life satisfaction and purpose demands some level of self-attachment and emotional awareness.

I was more willing to take chances instead of managing every risk as low as I could get it. Sometimes risks are necessary, which means sometimes we'll make mistakes; but most mistakes, you can recover from and learn something from to better position yourself, so it's okay. (Earlier in life, I hated the thought of making mistakes and would think I was stupid when I made them.)

so in the end, i feel like my rationality and intuition work better together; I don't worry as much about making mistakes; I appreciate connection with others when I can find it; I'm more accepting of people who do things differently than I do them; I tend to be more accepting of life as it happens and "ride things out." I feel less critical and picky, I pick my battles better and see life as more of a process rather than getting everything right up front. People are all in different stages of learning and growth, and forward movement is more important overall... prolonged stagnancy and lack of awareness is what will ultimately ruin you.

I guess I should say something about the "nice" thing as I learned as a kid. I still think I am generally kind, but part of my being "nice" was to control the reaction of the people around me. I'm far more liable now to do or say something that might not be particularly "nice" if I think the end result will be a net gain for everyone, and I'm willing to tolerate the tension that comes along with it, mainly because I'm seeing big picture. I'm not mean to be mean, but I will be blunt even if I know the initial response will probably be hostile to some degree, if I think something needs to be said. I only mention it because it still feels odd sometimes to see myself change in this way, but I think it means I'm doing things to achieve the best goal rather than just to have everyone think well of me.

 

[SouDesuNyan]

Just because so many things are malleable doesn't mean there isn't any meaning. It just means that meaning is flexible. And if you find truth someday, there you find static meaning that bleeds over into everything else.

Whatever the truth is, I would not recommend making anyone an authority.. not Jesus, not Gautama, not Laozi, not Watts, not Kant, not Nietzsche, not Plato, not Freud, not Jung... not me, not anyone in this forum.

 

[Ialti]

Whatever the truth is, I would not recommend making anyone an authority.. not Jesus, not Gautama, not Laozi, not Watts, not Kant, not Nietzsche, not Plato, not Freud, not Jung... not me, not anyone in this forum.

I am not objective, and neither, sir, are you. That little voice in your head that screams for independence? I have one too. And that other, sometime far less used voice that wants nothing more than to find a solid place to attach to? I have one too.

And if somebody finds a solid place to attach to I'm not going to try and pry them loose from it. Both because in their shoes I wouldn't appreciate that sort of prying, and because the very notion--the merest hint of an idea of controlling whether somebody can or cannot believe in an ultimate truth is odious to me. It smells of controlling other people. And the little screaming voice of independence won't let me think of doing that in any serious capacity.

 

[SouDesuNyan]

I am not objective, and neither, sir, are you. That little voice in your head that screams for independence? I have one too. And that other, sometime far less used voice that wants nothing more than to find a solid place to attach to? I have one too.

And if somebody finds a solid place to attach to I'm not going to try and pry them loose from it. Both because in their shoes I wouldn't appreciate that sort of prying, and because the very notion--the merest hint of an idea of controlling whether somebody can or cannot believe in an ultimate truth is odious to me. It smells of controlling other people. And the little screaming voice of independence won't let me think of doing that in any serious capacity.

I don't recommend attachment to authorities, but people are of course free to think however they want. Not everyone is contemplative, and I simply have a preference for a world where more people would think for themselves. It's fine otherwise, especially since I have enough resources to live a peaceful existence at the edge of society.

 

[lightbox]

There are many things, but one of the important ones is that I've learned to be more honest to myself. When I was younger I made a lot of excuses about why I couldn't do or did do this or that. It was easier than admitting I was afraid of failure, that I was just downright lazy or something similar. This involves understanding and recognizing emotions because you have to grasp the underlying uneasiness instead of ignoring it.

 

[Ialti]

I don't recommend attachment to authorities, but people are of course free to think however they want. Not everyone is contemplative, and I simply have a preference for a world where more people would think for themselves. It's fine otherwise, especially since I have enough resources to live a peaceful existence at the edge of society.

Yeah, me too more or less. I just... ok. It's like this: if one truly believes there are no absolutes, then one must be at least open to the idea of absolutes. Because not knowing is exactly that: not knowing.

 

[SilverKelpie]

When I was a kid, I was very detached socially and oblivious. I was lost in my own head a lot, and spent a lot of time alone, climbing trees and catching crawfish and snakes and minnows and such things. I read a lot and watched a lot of documentaries. I just didn't pay much attention to the human world. I do recall once trying to make a friend by telling them about quetzals. Surprisingly, this does not work. At recess I would often either study rocks on the playground, or just walk in endless circles around the playground, thinking. I also mostly absorbed information and made very few judgements. Negative things often just bounced off of me. I know my mom was worried about one behavior that I had as a child: If another kid grabbed something I was playing with, I would just go get some other toy instead of getting upset.

When I got to be a teenager I awakened to the human world, and due to various pressures and the general shock of how people could be, got deeply cynical and unhappy. I went through one of those "I am a unique, dark individual. Look at my dark uniqueness!" stages.

I've since settled down, and actually come to appreciate the value of some of the more mundane, "normal" aspects of life. I still adore learning about the natural world, and am still generally distrustful of the human world.