[Shodan]

or: Shodan's expletive-riddled, caffeine-driven ramblings and nonsense blog

* * * * * * *

I don't mind that my employer drastically cut my salary due to my current location and the "company policy" pertaining to that. I don't mind it either that I am literaly working for the richest company in the world and they still won't pay properly for my services. It's still decent money, especially for local standards. What I do mind though is having to work with idiots.

Most recently, I was in charge of running yet another AI testing project, and I was assigned a helper. The "helper" was so good at their job, that in the end I was doing both their job and mine. So, it was a one man operation. In fact, it was two concurrent projects, for two different locales. It was concluded before the deadline which already put me well above any of my colleagues in terms of results and expectations. In the end, a few days after the results were delivered, and because I had to do everything myself (despite making fucking supporting documentation for my "assistant" that even a retarded houseplant would understand), I was drained and I told the upper management that I wanted to be assigned to a different AI division. They tried to talk me out of it, but I was just completely exhausted so I didn't budge.

They started phase 2 ten days later, using my documentation, my surveys, my methodology, but they didn't have just one person + an assistant this time around, it was an entire TEAM of people. And yet, they didn't meet the deadline + they kept coming to me for help every 5 minutes.

YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING ENGINEERS.

GET A FUCKING GRIP.

OR, if you want the job done right and if you don't want 50 fucking babysitters on a single project, then I'll be more than glad to do everything on my own again. IF I am promoted first. I am tired of watching people who outrank me in the corporate hierarchy do a shitty job, and I don't want to answer to any of them. How did I climb up the ranks in this company to begin with? By observing this same exact behavior when I was starting out and saying "damn, you dumb bastard, I should be doing YOUR job".

I "taught"* this device a great many things, but I'm afraid that I'll never be able to teach it how to answer this question - WHY are people so fucking stupid and incompetent? Wtf is going on with the recruitment process and methodology? Does anybody filter these people, is there any sort of screening going on? How some of these people ended up in some of these positions is beyond me.

Furthermore, why do I even do this job? I am great at it, but at the same time I am extremely cynical about it - I think that the people who use the very product that I'm responsible for programming, the same product that gives responses based on what I told it to, is used by lazy idiots.

Oh yeah, that's right, I do it for the money. Used to care about "selling out", thankfully I grew up in the meantime.

I am a very good listener. I am kind, caring, and supportive.

NOT IN THE PROFESSIONAL SETTING. I have zero tolerance for fuckups at work, especially on this level.

* it's not teaching as AI can only be programmed, but that's a topic for a different occasion

 

[Shodan]

Poop Nuggets of Wisdom & Other Assorted Randomness Straight from the Zen Garden, Chapter I

"I need someone to take charge, lead the way, challenge me, and correct me every step of the way."

This translates to: I am immature, incompetent, and irresponsible. Also, a sub in denial. Nothing wrong with that, but people need to be honest with themselves. Just admit to yourself that what you actually want is for someone to bitchslap you every day and get on with it.

* * * * * * *

It's funny how I spent my entire life trying not to inconvenience the rest of the world, when the entire world is a huge inconvenience to me, but it never showed me the same courtesy.

* * * * * * *

Relying purely on theory is nonsense. If something can't be proven empirically, then we're just in speculative territory. Calling it science is just baffling. It's nothing more than zodiac for nerds. It's a hobby and a mental exercise so fuck you, your diploma, and your dog.

* * * * * * *

"You are rigid and stuck up."

Bitch please, there's a very good reason why some of my views / opinions / attitudes are immutable. I don't spring anything out of my ass, it's based on first-hand experience. So, if I've been seing the same damn sky since the day I was born, and I know it's blue, and then you show up out of nowhere telling me it's actually lime green, of course I'm going to dismiss you as a moron that you are.

* * * * * * *

When someone thinks that I am abrasive, or calls me that, it's really not the case, it's just that they used up all of their extra lives. It's not my fault they don't know how to economize, nor can I be blamed for their expectations for me to be a nice guy ad nauseam no matter what. If you test my patience and courtesy beyond reason, then it's open season. Oh hey, that rhymes.

* * * * * * *

People who write blogs are the worst.

 

[Shodan]

When it comes to getting ghosted, it's definitely not my first rodeo, but for a brief moment I was actually upset about it, which warrants further analysis. Approx. 10 minutes later I just laughed at it, as I can't be responsible for other people's actions, nor will I let someone who has zero presence in my life affect my mood, but there's more.

Ghosting is, at the very least, either about cowardice or lack of manners. On a deeper level, it's about emotional immaturity. When it comes to this specifically, nobody in their right mind approaches another person with the expectation of getting a positive response (unless you're a psychopath, or a rapist, or both). Hoping for a positive response? Of course. Expecting it? Of course not. Saying "no" is perfectly fine, different people - different standards, needs, expectations, and so on. But if a person got the balls to even approach you in this day and age when everybody is fucking scared to death of approaching anybody in fear of being labeled this or that, you should at least have the decency to respond, no matter what that response is.

Knowing all of that, ghosting - when it happens - is also the perfect wake-up call. Its effect being either saying to one's self "WHAT were you thinking?", or "See? If you're going to be upset about anything, you should be upset with yourself because that is the kind of person you were interested in and you completely misjudged them." When I'm ghosted, I'm thankful to the other person for opting to go off and be rude on somebody else's time.

 

[Shodan]

Poop Nuggets of Wisdom & Other Assorted Randomness Straight from the Zen Garden, Chapter II

- What do you even want from me?

- I want to marry you.

Fucking A for the listening abilities. Marry me, after hearing all about how I literally barely survived the marriage that already happened? That's akin to telling me "I want to murder you, you piece of shit". At least this made me think and I sort of got more insight re: how women feel when somebody only ever sees them as a piece of ass, because if your thoughts and words don't matter, then that's exactly what you are to the other person. I mean, what more proof do I need when the final line from the other person was literally "all this drama and no dick in the end". 10/10 for style though (or lack of it). I am extremely picky about who I stick my dick into, so of course you didn't get any if you're an asshole (pun sort of intended). I am an emotional ho, not a literal one.

* * * * * * *

Top 3 best compliments I have ever received:

1. "Our babies would look cute as fuck"
2. "Your voice is like caramel"
3. "Your eyes are like cobwebs and broken glass"

Wait, these are my top 3? Damn, I'm shallow as fuck.

Or rather the point from earlier still stands and I was nothing but a dick vessel to anybody I've ever been in a relationship with.

Dick Vessel, private investigator. Sounds kinda cool, actually.

* * * * * * *

Who is worse than the people who write blogs? People who keep talking about how they're supposedly super mega ultra strong and they're over their exes, but it is the only topic they are capable of. Sweet baby Jesus, get on with your life.

 

[ENTJudgement]

or Shodan's expletive-riddled, caffeine-driven ramblings and nonsense blog

* * * * * * *

View attachment 911418

I don't mind that my employer drastically cut my salary due to my current location and the "company policy" pertaining to that. I don't mind it either that I am literaly working for the richest company in the world and they still won't pay properly for my services. It's still decent money, especially for local standards. What I do mind though is having to work with idiots.

Most recently, I was in charge of running yet another AI testing project, and I was assigned a helper. The "helper" was so good at their job, that in the end I was doing both their job and mine. So, it was a one man operation. In fact, it was two concurrent projects, for two different locales. It was concluded before the deadline which already put me well above any of my colleagues in terms of results and expectations. In the end, a few days after the results were delivered, and because I had to do everything myself (despite making fucking supporting documentation for my "assistant" that even a retarded houseplant would understand), I was drained and I told the upper management that I wanted to be assigned to a different AI division. They tried to talk me out of it, but I was just completely exhausted so I didn't budge.

They started phase 2 ten days later, using my documentation, my surveys, my methodology, but they didn't have just one person + an assistant this time around, it was an entire TEAM of people. And yet, they didn't meet the deadline + they kept coming to me for help every 5 minutes.

YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING ENGINEERS.

GET A FUCKING GRIP.

OR, if you want the job done right and if you don't want 50 fucking babysitters on a single project, then I'll be more than glad to do everything on my own again. IF I am promoted first. I am tired of watching people who outrank me in the corporate hierarchy do a shitty job, and I don't want to answer to any of them. How did I climb up the ranks in this company to begin with? By observing this same exact behavior when I was starting out and saying "damn, you dumb bastard, I should be doing YOUR job".

I "taught"* this device a great many things, but I'm afraid that I'll never be able to teach it how to answer this question - WHY are people so fucking stupid and incompetent? Wtf is going on with the recruitment process and methodology? Does anybody filter these people, is there any sort of screening going on? How some of these people ended up in some of these positions is beyond me.

Furthermore, why do I even do this job? I am great at it, but at the same time I am extremely cynical about it - I think that the people who use the very product that I'm responsible for programming, the same product that gives responses based on what I told it to, is used by lazy idiots.

Oh yeah, that's right, I do it for the money. Used to care about "selling out", thankfully I grew up in the meantime.

I am a very good listener. I am kind, caring, and supportive.

NOT IN THE PROFESSIONAL SETTING. I have zero tolerance for fuckups at work, especially on this level.

* it's not teaching as AI can only be programmed, but that's a topic for a different occasion

It’s about time you learnt that knowing the right people, connections and being likeable trumps technical ability. People who are technically bad but knows the right people, has the right connections and liked by others are surely to get far, people who only excel technically but aren’t liked rarely get far, forever stuck behind execs and managers. Either become a contractor or start your own business (you still need to be good with clients), expecting the corp to change to what you perceive to be fair will generally be fruitless.

 

[Shodan]

It’s about time you learnt that knowing the right people, connections and being likeable trumps technical ability. People who are technically bad but knows the right people, has the right connections and liked by others are surely to get far, people who only excel technically but aren’t liked rarely get far, forever stuck behind execs and managers. Either become a contractor or start your own business (you still need to be good with clients), expecting the corp to change to what you perceive to be fair will generally be fruitless.

I've always been aware of it, it's just that my stupid idealism made me hate it and say bullshit such as "I am never, ever going to be like these people". I'm 41 now and I finally realized that I had been an idiot for believing so, as I spent practically my entire life watching this thing being constant, it hasn't changed in the slightest. As soon as I admitted that the corporate world is always going to be dog eat dog, and that this dog in particular is going to starve to death if he doesn't accept the rules of the game that he has to play, all the idealism went down the drain, and my wallet got thicker as a consequence. I've been going against the grain for way too long without anything to show for it except being able to say "oh I am so ethical". Ethics won't keep the fridge full.

 

[Shodan]

The first time I saw this movie eons ago, I remember thinking "wow, what an asshole" when in fact everything that's needed to be known about how to navigate this world is contained right here:

 

[ENTJudgement]

I've always been aware of it, it's just that my stupid idealism made me hate it and say bullshit such as "I am never, ever going to be like these people". I'm 41 now and I finally realized that I had been an idiot for believing so, as I spent practically my entire life watching this thing being constant, it hasn't changed in the slightest. As soon as I admitted that the corporate world is always going to be dog eat dog, and that this dog in particular is going to starve to death if he doesn't accept the rules of the game that he has to play, all the idealism went down the drain, and my wallet got thicker as a consequence. I've been going against the grain for way too long without anything to show for it except being able to say "oh I am so ethical". Ethics won't keep the fridge full.

Good to see you’ve arrived at the same conclusion as me, props on u for having the strong morality to keep it up for 41 years. I agree with your view point but I also don’t limit myself to my own morality but rather find the best way to exploit w/e system is in play and make the most of it then excuse my shitty behaviour with;
1. The world/society doesn’t revolve around me so I should adapt.
2. If I don’t do it, everyone else will so it’s pointless to go on a strike by myself.

 

[Shodan]

2. If I don’t do it, everyone else will so it’s pointless to go on a strike by myself.

This. I realized that I was an idiot for refusing to do what literally everybody else has been doing and will continue doing no matter how I feel about it. That's the point actually, there's no room for feelings in this matter. It's an ocean full of sharks, feelings don't mean shit for your survival.

 

[Shodan]

When people act without any consideration or even a remote notion of what proper, acceptable human behavior is, that shouldn't aggravate me the way it does. They simply don't know better.

I had a close encounter with a robot recently, and I'm just realizing that it's not their fault that they don't know how to human, being a robot and all. What's both funny and sad at the same time: that entire experience, brief as it was, made me miss the worst person I've ever known. That person was a typical human: lying, cheating, deceitful, manipulative, toxic, but at least they had a pulse. They were alive.

WTF am I thinking, I don't miss them at all.

So, there's robots on one side, typical humans on the other, and I'm in the middle. I guess that's the conclusion. I suppose it means that I should date a cyborg.

Hey Elon, stop being a giant manbaby and use that apartheid money for something useful for a change, like human augmentation research.

 

[98403942]

You're in luck. I am a mighty wizard.

Just say 'Shmalakazam' and I will magically enable you to 'close, close, close!!!!!', eat dogs like the other dogs will, and lead a single-purpose life of dispassionate acquirement of resources. You will be like the people you have expressed quite a disliking for, and you will be an active and viable block of the society they have created.

Take your time, I'm having a nice tall mug of coffee.

 

[Shodan]

You're in luck. I am a mighty wizard.

Just say 'Shmalakazam' and I will magically enable you to 'close, close, close!!!!!', eat dogs like the other dogs will, and lead a single-purpose life of dispassionate acquirement of resources. You will be like the people you have expressed quite a disliking for, and you will be an active and viable block of the society they have created.

Take your time, I'm having a nice tall mug of coffee.

Being ruthless only applies to the professional setting in my case, and even then I still have a set of principles in place. While I am set on maximizing profit (if I have a job, then it's a transaction -> I am selling my time -> I want to get the best possible price for what I'm selling), I am not going to push somebody off a cliff on purpose just because. Ruthless /= an asshole. I will also help and teach as much as I can, because having competent coworkers helps everybody in the long run (I am just extremely frustrated when people can't understand the simplest things, or if I have to repeat myself a million times). However, if I see that somebody is continuously failing to do their job right, and they outrank me, I have zero qualms about moving in and taking over their job. I work for money, not to make "friends". Allies? Definitely, that's crucial. Friends? Lol no, as soon as shit hits the fan and your ass is on the line, said "friends" at work will go radio silent and look out for their own interests. That's just the way it is. This is a passage from one of my favorite books:

“I guess I’m not in the mood for it today,” Paul said.

“Mood?” Halleck’s voice betrayed his outrage even through the shield’s filtering. “What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises—no matter the mood! Mood’s a thing for cattle or making love or playing the baliset. It’s not for fighting.”

Edit for clarification: when I said "this is all you need to know about how to navigate this world", I strictly meant corporate

 

[98403942]

Being ruthless only applies to the professional setting in my case, and even then I still have a set of principles in place. While I am set on maximizing profit (if I have a job, then it's a transaction -> I am selling my time -> I want to get the best possible price for what I'm selling), I am not going to push somebody off a cliff on purpose just because. Ruthless /= an asshole. I will also help and teach as much as I can, because having competent coworkers helps everybody in the long run (I am just extremely frustrated when people can't understand the simplest things, or if I have to repeat myself a million times). However, if I see that somebody is continuously failing to do their job right, and they outrank me, I have zero qualms about moving in and taking over their job. I work for money, not to make "friends". Allies? Definitely, that's crucial. Friends? Lol no, as soon as shit hits the fan and your ass is on the line, said "friends" at work will go radio silent and look out for their own interests. That's just the way it is. This is a passage from one of my favorite books:

“I guess I’m not in the mood for it today,” Paul said.

“Mood?” Halleck’s voice betrayed his outrage even through the shield’s filtering. “What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises—no matter the mood! Mood’s a thing for cattle or making love or playing the baliset. It’s not for fighting.”

I could go into an argument about how ruthless does equal asshole to anybody who doesn't give a damn about being objective or correct, which is virtually everyboidy, but it seems like a bit of a waste tbh. It's clear to me you're quite frustrated with incompetence. What I myself do is, I just assure my livelihood is in no danger and I redirect my passion/phuck-giving into areas of life of my own creation and jurisdiction. I could never just roll with others fucking it up for me. You sound like a proper logical person. When that's the case, mentally/fuckgivingly investing into a job seems to always be a bad idea. You know what I mean?

 

[Shodan]

I could go into an argument about how ruthless does equal asshole to anybody who doesn't give a damn about being objective or correct, which is virtually everyboidy, but it seems like a bit of a waste tbh.

Well you're right actually, and I suppose that my attitude about this is asshole-ish to some extent. So, I'll rephrase it: I am an asshole, but a selective one and my assholeishness is situational 😂 I don't pop off without a reason.

It's clear to me you're quite frustrated with incompetence.

Big time. For example, I have all the patience in the world for kids. They don't know better, they're still learning, that is perfectly understandable and expected. But, I work with other engineers. Some of their actions make me wonder how were they even able to get their jobs. I'm not even going to talk about taking pictures of a monitor using a phone every time I ask for screenshots because, while dumb, it still gives me the information I need. It's mainly about failure to use common sense. For example, there's this person who used to be my supervisor, and they asked me to obtain / provide something ridiculous this one time. We were programming the AI assistant's responses re: points of interest in a specific area, specifically hiking trails in this example. That person kept insisting that I should provide a phone number for a hiking trail. A phone number. For a hiking trail. Nothing I said made them change their mind, you have to provide the phone number and that's final. Eventually I had enough, went to the upper management, told them it's ridiculous, said that I can't conjure up non-existant information, and asked what the point even was - let's say that a hiking trail had a phone (lol). What would you ever need it for? Hello, hiking trail, is the dirt dirty enough today? I also said that the best I could do was to find a phone number for whatever municipal insitution that's responsible for public spaces such as parks etc. but if I do, the correlation between these two things is doubtful.

Epilogue? I am that person's supervisor now. Was I an asshole? I guess it depends on the point of view. The bigger picture is that a broken cog was replaced with a functional one, so the machine keeps running. If the machine doesn't run, then we are all out of work.

I could never just roll with others fucking it up for me. You sound like a proper logical person. When that's the case, mentally/fuckgivingly investing into a job seems to always be a bad idea. You know what I mean?

Ideally, I'd prefer to be able to make a living on my own and outside any corporate structure. However, that is impossible due to location, and also because my other main skills / traits are music and writing. I haven't made a single dime after 25+ years of making music, and I got fucked over multiple times as a professional writer. I hate everything about corp except for one thing - it's relatively steady income. So, I roll with it.

Yeah, you're probably right and I should probably care less about other people's performance. The problem is that I am a perfectionist, and if we're here, if we're working on a task, then it must be done right. I wasn't half-assing things even when I was being severely underpaid (in the past, as a writer).

 

[98403942]

Well you're right actually, and I suppose that my attitude about this is asshole-ish to some extent.

No, it isn't. Unless you are taking into consideration the opinion of somebody who doesn't care about being objective, and hence, correct, which nobody ever should. I mean, aside from considering it so that they can be penalized for being wrong and insular, which is also something that should happen. Maybe a hefty fine for first offense and something more serious on repeat.

I'm not even going to talk about taking pictures of a monitor using a phone every time I ask for screenshots because, while dumb, it still gives me the information I need.

Thank you for the lol there. Brightens up the day every time.

Epilogue? I am that person's supervisor now.

This is something to be content with, but don't let it give you the false hope that you live in a world where constructiveness and accuracy is a value. It can skew your worldview a lot and lead to a lot of frustration.

Ideally, I'd prefer to be able to make a living on my own and outside any corporate structure. However, that is impossible due to location, and also because my other main skills / traits are music and writing.

High five. I am yet to experience the wonderful adventure of releasing my music out into the world. I've been busy making backup plans till now. Ended up with a job where I log on, log off and don't care a bit, and a fruit plantation. Selling produce is a great business. Fruit doesn't talk. Just grows. It's like code, really. One you write and use. Pretty easy to set up, if a little labor intensive upon installation.

Keep this up, good read. It really is plenty refreshing to read logical, reasonable content. Comes in such short damned supply.

 

[Shodan]

Keep this up, good read. It really is plenty refreshing to read logical, reasonable content. Comes in such short damned supply.

Thanks, I didn't expect this to be read by anybody else as it's a blog / just an outlet for things that I've been keeping pent up inside, but it's a public forum so yeah, it was silly to expect otherwise. I read yours earlier and I was going to reply to a few specific points; I was mainly going to confirm some of the things you said and elaborate further, but I decided against it. When it comes to politics, and particularly when it's done online, it's like walking through a minefield. No matter how objective you are, and in spite of the facts that are easily verifiable by anybody who's not too lazy to click that mouse button a couple of times, inevitably you're going to get accused of picking a side (by those who have picked a side themselves).

 

[98403942]

Thanks, I didn't expect this to be read by anybody else as it's a blog / just an outlet for things that I've been keeping pent up inside, but it's a public forum so yeah, it was silly to expect otherwise. I read yours earlier and I was going to reply to a few specific points; I was mainly going to confirm some of the things you said and elaborate further, but I decided against it. When it comes to politics, and particularly when it's done online, it's like walking through a minefield. No matter how objective you are, and in spite of the facts that are easily verifiable by anybody who's not too lazy to click that mouse button a couple of times, inevitably you're going to get accused of picking a side (by those who have picked a side themselves).

Oh, no worries there at all. Political, religious, sports fan, or profession-based sense of identity, the four tags to identify an imbecile right off the bat. Politics is a dance, a show to wow morons so that your buddies can rob the audience blind. It's impossible to disagree politically with somebody whose political association is 'lmao'. And that is that of yours truly. I'm a careful spender of my time and effort, so I don't care if they pass a bill to walk upside down and quack tomorrow. Kill JFK, revive JFK, kill him again, have him flip sides. It's all just a distraction. Like dear late George Carlin, I've removed myself from it all and it's just a show. And I'm on another channel.

 

[Shodan]

Political, religious, sports fan, or profession-based sense of identity, the four tags to identify an imbecile right off the bat.

😂 QFT 😂

It's impossible to disagree politically with somebody whose political association is 'lmao'.

Again, QFT. If anybody was to ask me whether I'm left / right, I'd say neither, I'm normal.

Edit: It's funny how I've been silently enjoying both yours and @ENTJudgement's posts (elsewhere) lately mostly for the no-nonsense approach, and now both of you are here

 

[98403942]

😂 QFT 😂



Again, QFT. If anybody was to ask me whether I'm left / right, I'd say neither, I'm normal.

Edit: It's funny how I've been silently enjoying both yours and @ENTJudgement's posts (elsewhere) lately mostly for the no-nonsense approach, and now both of you are here

If they asked me, I'd say I'm there-are-two-spike-ended-strong-snap-traps-in-both-of-my-pockets,motherfucker, myself.

ENTJudgement provides some quality content. Actually pretty damn good quality. Ha.

 

[Shodan]

How DARE somebody like you. I mean, treating you with care and respect is such a cardinal offense, enough to prompt you to slam the shit out of that door, lift that nose so high up as to avoid the putrid smell of this obvious piece of shit in your vicinity who had the nerve to use -gasp- manners around you.

Further proof that what most people actually need, as opposed to what they say they want, is for someone to manhandle them and treat them like shit. What a waste of time.