Personality Cafe banner

The Misadventures of an ISTP, Chapter Four

[ISTP] 
5K views 33 replies 12 participants last post by  villib 
#1 ·
Dearly beloved, do you find your natural charm surprising you?

Yes, I know: when someone thinks ISTP, "charming" is not the first word that comes to mind. Personally, when I think of "charming", the type I think of first is ESTP.

Our ESTP brethren are indeed very charming and charismatic; I believe Se is at the center of this, and ESTPs are masters of the Se. But, what I'd like to propose is that ISTPs can also tap into this source of natural charm, and, tempered with the dominant Ti, can be slightly more subtle.

I've come across this phenomenon in myself. Some background: in my family, I am the youngest. My INTJ brother is the long suffering middle child (you know the type), and while we are great friends, we've always had this sort of silent competition between us.

Well, my brother thinks that I am everybody's favorite. Everyone knows that I'm my ISTP dad's favorite. (Surprised? I wasn't.) There is also obvious favoritism from many other family members, family friends and acquaintances.

I never knew what to make of this...after all, it's not like I was trying. So I just ignored this, wrote it off as being the youngest or some such nonsense.

But, as we grew older and expanded our social horizons, I began to notice a trend:

Our school counselor bent over backwards, helping me get scholarships, while my brother had no such help.

At work, I would openly flaunt rules (such as dress code, etc.) and make dry, somewhat critical, remarks about policy, and was never reprimanded.

At college, I openly made fun of a teacher who I thought were talking crap, and she loved me; while, a friend of mine, who shared many of my opinions but kept her mouth shut, was disliked by said teacher, and was even given a bad grade on a paper for having opposing views.

I don't know if I do this subconsciously or what, but I've realized that I can be subtly charming the people around me. And if I do this intentionally, I also noticed how I can subtly manipulate a situation or a conversation in the direction I want, to my advantage.

This relatively harmless manipulation is a little disturbing to me; it feels like deception.

So, long post aside...do you find that you have your own hidden source of charm? And do you have similar situations like I described above.
 
See less See more
Discussion starter · #3 ·
I honestly think the reason why is because what you see is what you get with me. Just because I'm introverted doesn't mean I'm socially handicapped. I don't put on airs, I usually know something about something and I generally throw a joke or two into the conversation. I don't know why people enjoy my sarcastic sense of humor.
Yes, this is me. My brother thinks I'm socially inept; not true! Just because I'm not comfortable in every situation doesn't mean that I don't know the rules. I just choose not to follow them! :crazy: That in itself has its own charm.

I don't understand why people enjoy my sense of humor either. Half the time, I'm gently mocking them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: villib
Discussion starter · #7 ·
I actually dislike this trait on me sometimes, because people think about all the hidden agendas I have and they try to read me and read between the lines and simply don't understand that I'm literally incapable of doing anything between the lines. Like when I once said to an acquaintance that she looks like Julia Roberts and she thought I have a crush on her because according to her, Julia Roberts is beautiful, which means that I think she is beautiful which means that I secretly like her which means that this is my way of saying I love you. Needless to say I was only thinking that she looks like Julia Roberts.
That's annoying. I hate when people do that. If it were me, being called Julia Roberts would not be a compliment...her mouth is way too big for her face.

Interesting, Thoughtprocess...I've never been in sales before. I almost want to go out and experiment. I wouldn't mind getting a new job. Everyone likes me (the charm again...), but the pay sucks and watching twenty kids at a time is not my cup of tea.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jetpack Man
Discussion starter · #9 ·
Yeah, I'd rather not have to go from dealing with five-year-olds to dealing with five-year-olds in forty-year-old bodies. :dry:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jetpack Man
Discussion starter · #13 ·
Dude. One of my customers literally threw a hissy fit, complete with red face, tears, and stomping, because I wouldn't sell him a product below cost. His reasoning? "But I waaaaa-ha-ha-hant it!" He was at least in his late 30s and, worse, had his child with him. I said, "I'm sorry man, this isn't Tijuana, the price is what the price is". He actually had the nerve to file a complaint with my boss about it, too.
:shocked::frustrating: I'm actually embarrassed for that guy.

Excellent comeback, by the way.
 
Discussion starter · #14 ·
I remember a post recently here saying how everyone thought you ISTPs were so funny when you weren't trying. I wonder if that's part of the "charm" My husband can and does say all kinds of critical, biting stuff that cracks me up and if someone else were to say it, I'd think "wow what an insensitive jerk" Most others find him hilarious at these times as well.
I think it is. It came up again today, at work, with the same co-worker. I actually told her to go away and don't touch me. She laughed. Later, she said, if it had been anyone else, she would have been extremely hurt. But, with me, she knows that's just how I am. I am blunt, but there is no malicious intent.

I think, maybe, what it is, is that we say the thing that everyone is thinking, but doesn't have the guts to say. At these kind of moments, someone like my brother will say, "Yep, you went there. Nobody was going to, but you did."

Or, I could be totally off the mark, and talking out of my butt...it's been known to happen. :proud:
 
Discussion starter · #19 ·
I've held one real grudge in my life. I'm working on resolving that with myself. I'm probably never going to see this person again, and I don't want to, but no point in wasting my precious energy on bitterness for such a person.
 
Discussion starter · #20 ·
And I do it in a very upfront way, always starting with a sentence like 'OK guys, let me be upfront, and all of you already know this so I'm just saying it aloud.........' First there's the slight cringing, but this is inevitably followed by a more relaxed atmosphere. And THEN people start to really talk. To me, nothing happens in a meeting or discussion until this point is reached. I hate beating around the bush.
Ha, I don't usually give the people a head's up. How thoughtful of you! :tongue:

With my INFJ mom (the master of beating around the bush *and* tangents), I've developed a signal that it's time for her to cut to the chase. And it works!...so wonderfully relieving on my part. I wish I could do this to everyone, a hand motion that says, I'm about five seconds from not caring. Get to the point. It would make my life so much easier.
 
Discussion starter · #22 ·
My favorite teacher even let me sleep in class on occation .. - when some kid finally said "Why the hell is he allowed to sleep during class".. he yelled "WILL!" and asked me the question the kid was supposed to answer - I sat up and answered 100% right. "That's why!" the teacher said. It was epic.. :}
Hahaha...that is awesome.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my old Bible teacher and old family friend recently. He's going to be teaching a class on World and Early Christian History, a fascinating subject for me, and I was joking that I was going to sneak into his class.

Me: What time is it?
Teacher: Oh no, I think it was first hour, 8:30.
Me: Dang it!
Teacher: You were never awake when you were in my class. Why would you wake up for one that you're not in?
Me: But I aced your class.
Teacher: Shut up.

:laughing:
 
  • Like
Reactions: villib
Discussion starter · #25 ·
Well, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings either. We can be T and not be heartless. I've learned just not to say anything sometimes, because what I think is a harmless comment ends up hurting someone's feelings or offending their sensibilities, and I don't have the time or the energy to deal with their drama or to explain myself.

It's the pervasive stereotypes of Thinking and Feeling that leads even us to misunderstand their nature. Do you: make decisions based in impersonal logic or based in personal values? Everything else that gets caught up in T/F is just people ignorant of the system.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Darner
Discussion starter · #29 ·
You know how people wear you out and you want to say "don't come near me unless you have booze and cookies"? -- thing is I really mean it, but people generally take that as a joke. I think I'm just a cranky chica.

It's sort of irritating to have people laugh and think you're cute, and the whole time you're thinking "why does no one take me seriously?"

The only one who knows I'm secretly Medusa is my brother. :tongue:
I know! The other day, my co-worker sat down next to me at a meeting, touched my knee, and said, "don't torture me, haha!" I glared at her and said, "don't touch me." She laughed some more. :dry:

Didn't take me seriously then either. :dry:
 
Discussion starter · #31 ·
haha I scored perfectly on anything i was slightly interested in, even if I never really paid attention in most of the classes .. is that an ISTP thing ?..

There was this test in electrical engineering class once. me and my friend NEVER shut up in that class..
finally there was a test .. and i was the only one who passed that test.. the teacher had been using that test for 7 or 8 years.. he threw it away and never used it again.. he even told the class "everyone failed" and never gave me any credit.. the teacher told this to my classmate years later and told him "to never tell a soul"
It might be...it's certainly that way with me.

Why did he throw it out and not tell anyone? I don't get it...did he want people to fail?
 
Discussion starter · #33 ·
What a jerk...ooh, that burns me just reading! :dry:

10th grade, I had Health class. Didn't do the semester paper, so I didn't have an A in the class, which means I had to sit for the final (in my school, if you had an A both semesters, you didn't have to take the midterm or final).

Walked out of there with 105% on the final...my teacher just looked at me and shook his head, as if to say "What are you even doing here?"
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top