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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #1
At the suggestion of AEIOU, I've decided to pay closer attention to my day-to-day "adventures" with my ISTP father.

Tonight was my aunt's birthday party. I did not want to go, at all. But we went anyway...you can't always get what you want, I guess. So, I was already itching to leave even before we got there.

Everyone was outside on the back deck and all the seats in the center were taken. So my dad and I sat on the bench along the railing, the only seats open.

We're just sitting there, minding our own business, when some lady we barely know (in fact, we had just been introduced) calls across the deck: Hey, MH, are you being anti-social?

Hardy-har-har. Of course she had to be obnoxious and draw the attention of the entire party to us.

Well, I look straight at her in the eyes and say: yes.

Then my dad comes out of nowhere and says to her: I could say the same thing about you. (Since she was sitting along the opposite railing.)

Cha-ching! My dad with the zinger.

Then under his breath, he mutters: why do people do this?

I'm muttering at the same time: shut your trap, lady.

My dad: I know, right? Where's a fifth?

:cool:

The point of this story is to pose a question: why do people pull crap like that?

I mean, I think it would be different if she actually knew us, but she didn't. And the rest of the night, she kept in engaging me in awkward conversation, and looking over my shoulder when I was on the computer in the house. She actually stood so close to me, that her leg was touching my arm. It took everything in me to not yell, "10 foot radius!"

Hello!! Personal space! :dry:
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #3

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That annoys the living hell out of me. Especially when people touch me like that.

I think that's just the way the extreme extroverts are. They can't understand why we enjoy solitude anymore than we can understand why they have to be so obnoxious.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #6
Why not just confront them.

Annoying person: *Staring over your should*

You: "...Yes?"

Or...

You: ...Can i help you?
One of my biggest pet peeves is people creeping up behind me. I stared at her, which was a "What do you want" stare. Then, much more awkward conversation ensued, random crap too: how old I was, was I on Facebook, and what sire was I looking at.

None of your business, lady! (I love using the word "lady" pejoratively...it reminds me of Cary Grant in "Father Goose". If you haven't seen it, you need to log off right now, and go watch it...it's a classic.)
 

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Yeah... some extroverts really just do not get it. It's like they take it personally if you don't behave a certain way in a social situation. I bet she actually probably thought she was doing you a favor by talking to you.
 

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Yes, it was done basically to embarrass you.

People seem to do it to me, and I honestly can't answer it politely.

Oh, and even better: when I answer, they say "what?" just to get me to repeat yourself and say it louder. Then I look like the bad guy. As my old man used to say, "no one sees who throws the first punch, so never retaliate".

Hope they don't do that to you. :dry:
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #9
Yeah... some extroverts really just do not get it. It's like they take it personally if you don't behave a certain way in a social situation. I bet she actually probably thought she was doing you a favor by talking to you.
You're probably right. She'd really do me a favor by leaving me alone and let me be "anti-social" in peace. See, in my opinion, being anti-social would be not to show up at all. It's been known to happen, when both my dad and I get in that "mood", or when one of us is in that "mood" and can't talk the other out of it, so one of us just goes without the other. We tend to feed off each other's personalities, and not always in a good way.
 
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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #10
Yes, it was done basically to embarrass you.

People seem to do it to me, and I honestly can't answer it politely.

Oh, and even better: when I answer, they say "what?" just to get me to repeat yourself and say it louder. Then I look like the bad guy. As my old man used to say, "no one sees who throws the first punch, so never retaliate".

Hope they don't do that to you. :dry:
People have called me out to embarrass me, but not the second part...at least, not that I remember.

:confused: I just don't get people. I want to become a hermit on a remote mountain so no one can bother me.
 

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Nope. Not a drop.
Your story kind of reminds me of the last time I went to ARCO arena to watch an NBA basketball game. (The LAKERS were in town) We had some of those nose bleed seats way up there, anyway there was this big woman sitting in the seat next to me. She was very animated, talking, making conversation and leaning against me. The person I came to the game with noticed it too. We just mumbled to each other, "she's probably had a few too many." It kind of seemed like she did, either that or she was very excited about the game.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #14
That's twice in less than 24 hours that I've seen or heard the word "pejorative" used.
It's a good, sadly ignored word.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #15
Your story kind of reminds me of the last time I went to ARCO arena to watch an NBA basketball game. (The LAKERS were in town) We had some of those nose bleed seats way up there, anyway there was this big woman sitting in the seat next to me. She was very animated, talking, making conversation and leaning against me. The person I came to the game with noticed it too. We just mumbled to each other, "she's probably had a few too many." It kind of seemed like she did, either that or she was very excited about the game.
Ugh, I can't stand sitting next to strangers. I always to try to sit on the end of the aisle or row to minimize possible run-ins.
 

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The lady is being passive-aggressive and rude since she is implying that you are anti-social. Punch her on the nose! No, actually, don't. But yeah I get annoyed when people assume negative things about me and my motives and I just want to avoid them instead of setting them straight.

I bet she would have taken offence if you had asked her if she was being an idiot.
Or maybe you can turn the question back on her 'what makes you think I'm being anti-social?' 'do you think I'm being anti-social?' but I don't know if that's a bit contentious.

Maybe she's insecure and thinks if people don't talk to her, they don't like her? Maybe she only sees things from her point and doesn't realise that quiet people aren't always unhappy people? Maybe she should get a FAIL for not using her perceiving functions well. Maybe she thought she was cheering you up by being buddy-buddy with you? Maybe she's an FJ gone wrong and wants everyone to be participating in the group?

I think a lot of people are just obtuse and don't see things from other people's point of view especially if they don't speak up.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #17
The lady is being passive-aggressive and rude since she is implying that you are anti-social. Punch her on the nose! No, actually, don't. But yeah I get annoyed when people assume negative things about me and my motives and I just want to avoid them instead of setting them straight.

I bet she would have taken offence if you had asked her if she was being an idiot.
Or maybe you can turn the question back on her 'what makes you think I'm being anti-social?' 'do you think I'm being anti-social?' but I don't know if that's a bit contentious.

Maybe she's insecure and thinks if people don't talk to her, they don't like her? Maybe she only sees things from her point and doesn't realise that quiet people aren't always unhappy people? Maybe she should get a FAIL for not using her perceiving functions well. Maybe she thought she was cheering you up by being buddy-buddy with you? Maybe she's an FJ gone wrong and wants everyone to be participating in the group?

I think a lot of people are just obtuse and don't see things from other people's point of view especially if they don't speak up.
I think she was trying to be buddy-buddy. I don't know which scenario is more annoying to me. I hate when people try to force themselves on me.
 
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I hate those type of situations. It takes a lot for me to restrain myself, my first impulse would be to tell that person to mind their own damn business. This just leaves you looking even more anti-social and even agressive. I liked the way you handled it, rather than being cowed or getting angry you just answered yes. I've got to try that myself the next time I'm in such a position.
 

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MOTM Jan 2012
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Discussion Starter #19
I liked the way you handled it, rather than being cowed or getting angry you just answered yes. I've got to try that myself the next time I'm in such a position.
When you do that, they really have nothing to say back, especially if they had no real reason for calling you out (other than being obnoxious). Such a direct answer leaves them a little stumped. It's always fun to keep them guessing.
 

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MOTM June 2010
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I hate this as well, but I think it's some people's attempt to make sure you're feeling at ease and welcomed. I don't think it sounded malicious, but it's definitely an embarrassment when it occurs. Mad this looks like it may turn into an ongoing segment. Thought about creating a blog?
 
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