So here's the thing:
I'm a 17-year-old still living at home with my ISTJ mom, who I usually get along with pretty well, save for the occasional feuds about stuff like how messy my room is, how I always procrastinate my homework, etc, etc. But ever since the time for me to go off to Paris and live alone for a month with my friend drew closer, she has been damn near intolerable.
I know most mothers have a freakout of one sort or the other when their baby kid leaves the nest. What with me moving halfway across the country next year after high school, it only serves to add more panic. So when she began to nag me about basic stuff like, "Don't forget your metro card at home when you leave the house, always check that you have it at the door" or "Don't forget to turn off the stove when you exit the apartment", I just nodded along and said 'yeah', though I did a little comment of, 'I know that already, mom'.
But now it's been about a month and when she repeats the same things - with only tiny variations - almost everyday, I'm about to go insane. I've become a little bit more snappish, but I still accept her 'advice' and 'listen' to it. Because, see, this isn't even the problem at hand.
I'm not much of a morning person, you see. I get really grumpy if I haven't had enough sleep, and should therefore just avoid talking to anyone the first two hours of my morning lest my temper gets the best of me when they pull something annoying I normally can stand, but can't when I'm newly awakened. That's why I told my mom off when I began high school and my workload caused me to pull many late nights that it'd work better if I just used the alarm clock rather than her waking me up every morning (her job and my school day starts at approximately the same time).
And it's all worked fine, up until now.
These past few months, the occasions when she feels like I'll just turn off the alarm clock and sleep in (which I never do, by the way) have become increasingly frequent. At first it'd be twenty minutes after my alarm clock started ringing, and now she comes in everyday before my alarm clock even starts ringing and begins her nagging about how I never get to school in time, etc, etc.
In the beginning I told her off nicely and explained the situation to her: how my teachers are already used to everybody being late so they don't give a rat's ass about when I arrive unless it's 20-30 minutes too late; however, if a teacher really finds it unacceptable for me to be late, I almost always come on time. But it just feels idiotic to stress myself stupid first thing in the morning if the rest of the class is going to arrive at the same time as I would have had if I hadn't 'listened' to my mother's 'advice'.
Of course, she didn't listen, or we wouldn't have this problem. She somehow has the idea that if she doesn't tell me off, I'll be even more late than I am. (But then she whines about me not listening to her - which is completely true, I just ignore her so-called 'advice', aka endless nagging, so there's really no point in her doing it - so I don't really get what she thinks...) And she also has some kind of a weird belief that the more she nags, the more it'll stick in my head once I leave the house and am on my own. (Which, of course, it won't.)
This issue is so ridiculous that I wouldn't be posting it here otherwise, but this morning we had this huge fight about it. I finally exploded in her face. For somebody who loves to be indepedent, being treated as if I'm a 7-year-old all over again really gets to me. (Added with the fact that this all happened in the morning just served to be more of a trigger to set my temper off.) She's still convincced that I wouldn't last a single morning without her nagging the hell out of me (though she didn't exactly phrase it like that), and told me to 'prove it to her' that I can do otherwise.
I could just go ahead and humor her and get on time every single day, but I know this isn't the solution. My mother has the belief that 'I won't last a day without her nagging' drilled into her mind, and there's no way in hell that she can change it that easily simply because I change my routines. She'll just think I did it because her nagging is so superior that even I caved and began listening to it, and just do some more.
I'm sorry for the rant, guys. I don't even know if this is typical ISTJ freaked-out-mom behavior or just my mother. But I'd really love to have some advice on how to handle this before I go insane and pull a kamikaze in the kitchen. (Okay, exaggeration there, but you get my point...)
Thanks in advance.
I'm a 17-year-old still living at home with my ISTJ mom, who I usually get along with pretty well, save for the occasional feuds about stuff like how messy my room is, how I always procrastinate my homework, etc, etc. But ever since the time for me to go off to Paris and live alone for a month with my friend drew closer, she has been damn near intolerable.
I know most mothers have a freakout of one sort or the other when their baby kid leaves the nest. What with me moving halfway across the country next year after high school, it only serves to add more panic. So when she began to nag me about basic stuff like, "Don't forget your metro card at home when you leave the house, always check that you have it at the door" or "Don't forget to turn off the stove when you exit the apartment", I just nodded along and said 'yeah', though I did a little comment of, 'I know that already, mom'.
But now it's been about a month and when she repeats the same things - with only tiny variations - almost everyday, I'm about to go insane. I've become a little bit more snappish, but I still accept her 'advice' and 'listen' to it. Because, see, this isn't even the problem at hand.
I'm not much of a morning person, you see. I get really grumpy if I haven't had enough sleep, and should therefore just avoid talking to anyone the first two hours of my morning lest my temper gets the best of me when they pull something annoying I normally can stand, but can't when I'm newly awakened. That's why I told my mom off when I began high school and my workload caused me to pull many late nights that it'd work better if I just used the alarm clock rather than her waking me up every morning (her job and my school day starts at approximately the same time).
And it's all worked fine, up until now.
These past few months, the occasions when she feels like I'll just turn off the alarm clock and sleep in (which I never do, by the way) have become increasingly frequent. At first it'd be twenty minutes after my alarm clock started ringing, and now she comes in everyday before my alarm clock even starts ringing and begins her nagging about how I never get to school in time, etc, etc.
In the beginning I told her off nicely and explained the situation to her: how my teachers are already used to everybody being late so they don't give a rat's ass about when I arrive unless it's 20-30 minutes too late; however, if a teacher really finds it unacceptable for me to be late, I almost always come on time. But it just feels idiotic to stress myself stupid first thing in the morning if the rest of the class is going to arrive at the same time as I would have had if I hadn't 'listened' to my mother's 'advice'.
Of course, she didn't listen, or we wouldn't have this problem. She somehow has the idea that if she doesn't tell me off, I'll be even more late than I am. (But then she whines about me not listening to her - which is completely true, I just ignore her so-called 'advice', aka endless nagging, so there's really no point in her doing it - so I don't really get what she thinks...) And she also has some kind of a weird belief that the more she nags, the more it'll stick in my head once I leave the house and am on my own. (Which, of course, it won't.)
This issue is so ridiculous that I wouldn't be posting it here otherwise, but this morning we had this huge fight about it. I finally exploded in her face. For somebody who loves to be indepedent, being treated as if I'm a 7-year-old all over again really gets to me. (Added with the fact that this all happened in the morning just served to be more of a trigger to set my temper off.) She's still convincced that I wouldn't last a single morning without her nagging the hell out of me (though she didn't exactly phrase it like that), and told me to 'prove it to her' that I can do otherwise.
I could just go ahead and humor her and get on time every single day, but I know this isn't the solution. My mother has the belief that 'I won't last a day without her nagging' drilled into her mind, and there's no way in hell that she can change it that easily simply because I change my routines. She'll just think I did it because her nagging is so superior that even I caved and began listening to it, and just do some more.
I'm sorry for the rant, guys. I don't even know if this is typical ISTJ freaked-out-mom behavior or just my mother. But I'd really love to have some advice on how to handle this before I go insane and pull a kamikaze in the kitchen. (Okay, exaggeration there, but you get my point...)
Thanks in advance.