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Discussion Starter #1
I often see men say dumb things like a fifteen year old females body is perfect for having children, when in truth a fifteen year old girl often is not fully sexually mature for another year or two, and narrow hips may pose a problem until eighteen or twenty in some cases.

Yes, people just fresh at the thrust of adult hood have the most effortlessly tight bodies because they are so close to being children, the way a flower is tightly closed but slowly blooms and softens. Some men do prefer the softer body of a grown woman. Who knew.

But the same thing applies to eighteen year old males. I was aware of the difference between an eighteen and twenty one year old guy even as a teenager. Eighteen and nineteen year old young men have that same effortless tightness. Some people also find that attractive. My twenty yo already acts embarrassed that he thinks he isn't as beautiful as he was a year or two ago. He actually brought up how he doesn't look as healthy now as before bc of stress.

But do I think he is ultimately less attractive, not really. But of course I observe that suddenly he has to contend with the fact that he is not immortal and that hangover and lack of sun will now not just slide off him like it did in his teens.

It's life. People start to age as soon as they are grown up. You get like two years to snort coke and stay up for three days without looking like dogshit. It doesn't mean that a person is best equipped to be a parent at that time. It simply means they are at that brief moment straddling growing and aging.

Get real folks. I have fucking had it with the nonsense.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
In fact I would like to add that I think some men project their own fear of old age, death, and sexual impotence on to women to distract them from themselves.

I find it pretty disgusting. I know women and men both who are middle aged and very attractive, and no, becoming obese isn't the same thing as aging.

I have seen obese teens and anorexic forty year olds.

Does Jennifer Aniston look sexier than "Precious"...yes, she does, give me a break.

Im actually so relieved when I meet men who are aware of their own aging. Usually it's pretty boys who were constantly complimented at some point on their prettiness. It seems like it's always some average, balding dude who sits there and talks like only women get old.

That's why I say, hey, objectification for everyone. People say objectification of men is not the solution to the objectification of women, but I find it apparently builds character and empathy for women in some men.
 

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Some men fetishise youth for psychological reasons and than rationalise it in terms of physological reasons. I agree with the op on this point.

I think most men have probably had the fantasy of sleeping with someone young and innocent at some point. Its much more about the phsycholegy of being in the role of the more experienced person rather than the physical charecteristcs of the young women. Its also about how the other person would view you if you were her one and only.

It doesnt have to be a creepy fantasy (I could have this fantasy about a women my age for example).
 

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I agree and yet I think a lot of women and men miss the point of what good rigorous daily workouts can do to tighten flesh up. It is not effortless like it is when you are young. The reason I say this is at my age (48) the women I date a lot are just hideous when it comes to working out and staying fit.

I don't know if this happens everywhere but where I live women just seem to stop caring about their skin tone at age 35+. They give up. So even if they are thin, they are gooey.

I've never been all about age specifically, but being unfit, at any age, is unattractive. I have met literally hundreds of guys that seem all infatuated with young women, to the point of creepiness. Frankly, it's just them aping the culture and not thinking about it in most cases. After they talk to me, I can usually swing their realization back towards some admission that they really just like fit. Agreed that for these men, often, it's an issue they feel unequal to, standing next to a health conscious fit woman of their own age and being able to deliver on that mature woman's needs while simultaneously living up to the athleticism she is expressing in keeping a fit body. As for me, I'll take that gamut any day.
 
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Discussion Starter #6
Some men fetishise youth for psychological reasons and than rationalise it in terms of physological reasons. I agree with the op on this point.

I think most men have probably had the fantasy of sleeping with someone young and innocent at some point. Its much more about the phsycholegy of being in the role of the more experienced person rather than the physical charecteristcs of the young women. Its also about how the other person would view you if you were her one and only.

It doesnt have to be a creepy fantasy (I could have this fantasy about a women my age for example).
No, the person doesn't have to be young. I used to call a man who is five years younger than me "Daddy" because he is so ..um...serious...and he actually has dated women older than me. My twenty year old lover is very dominant and if he had been awkward and inexperienced, I never would have gone there, though I do admit that there is a sense of conquest in having a beautiful boy on some level, which is probably what men who chase young girls seek, but that sort of ego trip in having won a very young person should not be an ultimate or driving force, because if it is, you will just trash your "prize" in search of a new trophy, which is sick and wrong and has nothing to do with love.

My ESFJ ex said he hated virgins and didn't understand the men who chased them. He is in his thirties. His wife is in her forties.

So yeah I think it is psychological. I think it should be individual.
 

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The whole wine/milk aging saying is bs. I'm 29 and I am shocked at how many men I know who have noticeable gray hairs at 25. Do the women? Nope.
 

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If there's one thing I've observed while growing up in the first generation to be raised alongside the internet is the fetishization of everything. No matter what the sexual slant is, just about everyone is indulging in it, and at the same time they find a way to be morally indignant towards others for doing the same.

I have no idea where the age-difference fetish came from, but once it hit the internet everyone was on board. And the funny side-effect is that people who engage in it are blind to it, but criticize others for engaging. It's bizarre. Whenever I hear a peer of mine say that a woman a decade older or more is attractive, I can see what they say, but this chasing of older women for the sake of older women often reeks of meme--or rather "teme"--adaptation for the hell of it. The same rings true when I hear of guys in their thirties looking for nineteen-year-olds.

@OP, you clearly state that you've got a sizable age difference in your current situation, but fault others for doing the same? How can you even make an argument against?
 

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In fact I would like to add that I think some men project their own fear of old age, death, and sexual impotence on to women to distract them from themselves.
I find it pretty disgusting. I know women and men both who are middle aged and very attractive, and no, becoming obese isn't the same thing as aging.
I have seen obese teens and anorexic forty year olds.
Does Jennifer Aniston look sexier than "Precious"...yes, she does, give me a break.
Im actually so relieved when I meet men who are aware of their own aging. Usually it's pretty boys who were constantly complimented at some point on their prettiness. It seems like it's always some average, balding dude who sits there and talks like only women get old.
That's why I say, hey, objectification for everyone. People say objectification of men is not the solution to the objectification of women, but I find it apparently builds character and empathy for women in some men.
if you think straight men are bad about this, you should talk to a gay man
 

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But the same thing applies to eighteen year old males. I was aware of the difference between an eighteen and twenty one year old guy even as a teenager. Eighteen and nineteen year old young men have that same effortless tightness.
While I generally agree, I do think that guys in their late teens/early twenties have an unfinished-ness about them that isn't quite the full flower. Seems to me that there's a little more filling in that happens in the twenties and a guy doesn't hit his full power-plus-grace peak until the mid to late 20s.

Compare pics of Chris Hemsworth as a nicely toned young guy vs. when he was Thor.

But anyway, yes, the internet broadened everyone's fetish horizons and while it's great that people feel freer to experiment, things have gotten rather extreme.

My personal experience with innocents in bed... well, bless 'em but it's not always terribly satisfying. I don't quite get why it's a fetish.
 

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I often see men say dumb things like a fifteen year old females body is perfect for having children, when in truth a fifteen year old girl often is not fully sexually mature for another year or two, and narrow hips may pose a problem until eighteen or twenty in some cases.

LOL Who says this? I have never heard this before.

Most men I know do not discuss the appropriate child-bearing age of a female, especially in teenagers. :p
 

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Discussion Starter #15
While I generally agree, I do think that guys in their late teens/early twenties have an unfinished-ness about them that isn't quite the full flower. Seems to me that there's a little more filling in that happens in the twenties and a guy doesn't hit his full power-plus-grace peak until the mid to late 20s.

Compare pics of Chris Hemsworth as a nicely toned young guy vs. when he was Thor.

But anyway, yes, the internet broadened everyone's fetish horizons and while it's great that people feel freer to experiment, things have gotten rather extreme.

My personal experience with innocents in bed... well, bless 'em but it's not always terribly satisfying. I don't quite get why it's a fetish.
That's purely your opinion. Men are sexually mature at eighteen. You may not like that they are slim and pretty like women of the same age, but it is utterly absurd to suggest men aren't physically mature until their late twenties. Perhaps like the article that stated that woman actually reaches peak beauty at 28 or 29, the perception of men is similar.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
The whole wine/milk aging saying is bs. I'm 29 and I am shocked at how many men I know who have noticeable gray hairs at 25. Do the women? Nope.
Yeah I talk sometimes about this ISTJ who is five years younger than me. He had more age around his eyes at 27 than I have in my early 30s....because he tanned and didn't take care of his skin. He is a really handsome guy though so whatever.
 

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Already matured 15 year olds look good compared to older women who have failed to take care of their body. But someone like 17-29 who hasnt failed at taking care of their body looks way better than 15 year old kids.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
If there's one thing I've observed while growing up in the first generation to be raised alongside the internet is the fetishization of everything. No matter what the sexual slant is, just about everyone is indulging in it, and at the same time they find a way to be morally indignant towards others for doing the same.

I have no idea where the age-difference fetish came from, but once it hit the internet everyone was on board. And the funny side-effect is that people who engage in it are blind to it, but criticize others for engaging. It's bizarre. Whenever I hear a peer of mine say that a woman a decade older or more is attractive, I can see what they say, but this chasing of older women for the sake of older women often reeks of meme--or rather "teme"--adaptation for the hell of it. The same rings true when I hear of guys in their thirties looking for nineteen-year-olds.

@OP, you clearly state that you've got a sizable age difference in your current situation, but fault others for doing the same? How can you even make an argument against?
I think you very much misunderstood. I am talking about the fetishization of underage girls who are not yet fully mature, or suggesting that some men act like they age so well and women don't. It's ridiculous. There's nothing worse than some balding man complaining about how old the women around him look.

I have dated twenty year old and a man in his late 40s (who looks early 40s at most) so I don't give two fucks about consenting adult age difference, just to be clear.


I am hoping to make an important statement about social perception of gender, not say things should be unequal.
 

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I think you very much misunderstood. I am talking about the fetishization of underage girls who are not yet fully mature, or suggesting that some men act like they age so well and women don't. It's ridiculous. There's nothing worse than some balding man complaining about how old the women around him look.

I have dated twenty year old and a man in his late 40s (who looks early 40s at most) so I don't give two fucks about consenting adult age difference, just to be clear.


I am hoping to make an important statement about social perception of gender, not say things should be unequal.
Ah, okay, my bad.
 
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