[SoubaTem]

My prof. was asking me how my research goes, and yes I have all the infomation and symbols floating ready in my head. I first started talking about the papers I've read in the past few weeks. Then, he started to ask about my ideas (like what can you do further after reading the papers to make it a research). But I think I know what he was trying to ask (we discussed about this too last time we did meeting) and I already have the information prepared in my head so I start talking about that RIGHT AFTER he finished the sentence (may be he hasn't finished yet? I don't really remember). And now I feel so bad about that. I kinda feel that I was impolite and should wait for a little more before starting my sentences.

Now I'm overthinking about it, and had different flashbacks(?) of me predicting/knowing other perople's questions and thoughts, thus throwing information to them suddenly. Even before they finished the question.

Is this an INTP problem? or does someone out there struggle with this kind of problem??? Can you share how you improve this? I really need help!

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This problem usually happens when I use my brain hard.
For this time I feel that my mind was full of math. symbols and the logic/problems behind them.

 

[Bella2016]

My prof. was asking me how my research goes, and yes I have all the infomation and symbols floating ready in my head. I first started talking about the papers I've read in the past few weeks. Then, he started to ask about my ideas (like what can you do further after reading the papers to make it a research). But I think I know what he was trying to ask (we discussed about this too last time we did meeting) and I already have the information prepared in my head so I start talking about that RIGHT AFTER he finished the sentence (may be he hasn't finished yet? I don't really remember). And now I feel so bad about that. I kinda feel that I was impolite and should wait for a little more before starting my sentences.

Now I'm overthinking about it, and had different flashbacks(?) of me predicting/knowing other perople's questions and thoughts, thus throwing information to them suddenly. Even before they finished the question.

Is this an INTP problem? or does someone out there struggle with this kind of problem??? Can you share how you improve this? I really need help!

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This problem usually happens when I use my brain hard.
For this time I feel that my mind was full of math. symbols and the logic/problems behind them.

I think a problem for me is that I've unknowingly taught myself to stop talking (I started learning this as a kid - I remember) and now I have the opposite problem where I can't even think of anything to say largerly because I've learnt not to talk at the wrong time or too much, or when people don't want to listen.

I guess we're both experiencing extremes of a similar problem and need to find middle ground. I would caution you about holding back too much - I think it's better to talk too much than to have people view you as a zombie because you forget how to talk in public. I'm currently forcing myself to make the effort to talk to people rather than just live in my head because it's safer... because it's really not.

 

[Zeri]

Not sure about the 'predicting sentences' thing...but I associate 'talking a lot...rambling' with INTPs, generally. 'I have an INTP friend. I love her...she's quirky and cool to be around....but she talks a lot...like talking n the sense that she talks out every single thought she has in a stream-of-consciousness type of way. It's like she says everything in her head without editing it....so you can be 'talking' to her and be literally standing up listening to her 'stream of consciousness' thoughts for a full 5 minutes...before her stopping, or without you getting a word in edgewise unless you directly butt in or do/say something to change the subject. It's kind of irritating, honestly, and I know it's not just for me - I've seen other people walk away from her while she was in mid-sentence, because of not being able to listen to what they perceive as 'rambling'.

I've also noticed this with our architect who I believe is INTP. AS an SJ sometimes I ask him questions, hoping he would get straight to the point and give me a 'yes' or 'no' answer, but then the takes 5 minutes ....going down a very meandering road... to arrive at the answer as to why it's a yes or no. E.g Me: "can we order shutter windows for our house?" Him" Well... I'll tell you something about those... (starts a story about another client ordered same windows and what happened etc etc etc)...... (5 minutes later....still no 'yes or no'.) Me: "So that's a NO then?"

 

[SoubaTem]

Not sure about the 'predicting sentences' thing...but I associate 'talking a lot...rambling' with INTPs, generally. 'I have an INTP friend. I love her...she's quirky and cool to be around....but she talks a lot...like talking n the sense that she talks out every single thought she has in a stream-of-consciousness type of way. It's like she says everything in her head without editing it....so you can be 'talking' to her and be literally standing up listening to her 'stream of consciousness' thoughts for a full 5 minutes...before her stopping, or without you getting a word in edgewise unless you directly butt in or do/say something to change the subject. It's kind of irritating, honestly, and I know it's not just for me - I've seen other people walk away from her while she was in mid-sentence, because of not being able to listen to what they perceive as 'rambling'.

I've also noticed this with our architect who I believe is INTP. AS an SJ sometimes I ask him questions, hoping he would get straight to the point and give me a 'yes' or 'no' answer, but then the takes 5 minutes ....going down a very meandering road... to arrive at the answer as to why it's a yes or no. E.g Me: "can we order shutter windows for our house?" Him" Well... I'll tell you something about those... (starts a story about another client ordered same windows and what happened etc etc etc)...... (5 minutes later....still no 'yes or no'.) Me: "So that's a NO then?"

Yes, I do rambles when I try to explain something that I not quite understand yet (and my research is in one of those). And a lot of ideas in sentences after that. Can I ask if she pauses when the question asked or respond immediately?

 

[Bella2016]

Not sure about the 'predicting sentences' thing...but I associate 'talking a lot...rambling' with INTPs, generally. 'I have an INTP friend. I love her...she's quirky and cool to be around....but she talks a lot...like talking n the sense that she talks out every single thought she has in a stream-of-consciousness type of way. It's like she says everything in her head without editing it....so you can be 'talking' to her and be literally standing up listening to her 'stream of consciousness' thoughts for a full 5 minutes...before her stopping, or without you getting a word in edgewise unless you directly butt in or do/say something to change the subject. It's kind of irritating, honestly, and I know it's not just for me - I've seen other people walk away from her while she was in mid-sentence, because of not being able to listen to what they perceive as 'rambling'.

I've also noticed this with our architect who I believe is INTP. AS an SJ sometimes I ask him questions, hoping he would get straight to the point and give me a 'yes' or 'no' answer, but then the takes 5 minutes ....going down a very meandering road... to arrive at the answer as to why it's a yes or no. E.g Me: "can we order shutter windows for our house?" Him" Well... I'll tell you something about those... (starts a story about another client ordered same windows and what happened etc etc etc)...... (5 minutes later....still no 'yes or no'.) Me: "So that's a NO then?"

Why not say, "can we order shutters, I only want a yes or no answer, you can tell me tomorrow if you don't have the answer right away"? Because otherwise he's just going to think it through right there and then and annoy you.

 

[Zeri]

Why not say, "can we order shutters, I only want a yes or no answer, you can tell me tomorrow if you don't have the answer right away"? Because otherwise he's just going to think it through right there and then and annoy you.

Well, the job is completed so we're no longer meeting. Maybe that would have worked, though. At the time I was just taken aback and baffled by it...

 

[Zeri]

Yes, I do rambles when I try to explain something that I not quite understand yet (and my research is in one of those). And a lot of ideas in sentences after that. Can I ask if she pauses when the question asked or respond immediately?

She doesn't pause much, no...she would pretty much launch into it and then speak her train of thought aloud... and sometimes she would repeat the question I ask, then proceed to answer it... .

E.g

Me: "So what's your plans for organizing the next class?
Her: Organizing the next class? I'm wondering what to do with that....I'm wondering if I should not hold any more classes..... it's too much for me....but at the same time I want to... I"m thinking maybe I should get someone else to host it.....what do you think? (no pause) I can't keep doing this anymore. Maybe I should call up Mr. XXX and ask him to do it for me. He always says I should call him when I need him...maybe I should do that... but he never answers when I call him.... I don't know... etc"

 

[patrick-the-real-one]

1.we like to explain things and put everything on the table.
2.feelers often interpret this as condescending, an react agressively.
3.when really we just wanted to make clear everything weve considered.

fuck resentful people. its nearly imppossible to achieve anything with them.

yes i realize this statement might make me look resentful, but its also true

 

[Bella2016]

Well, the job is completed so we're no longer meeting. Maybe that would have worked, though. At the time I was just taken aback and baffled by it...

It seems like he hadn't thought about it before so was just thinking about then and there cause you asked.

 

[Zeri]

I suppose. But as an experienced architect I don't think it was a matter of not knowing what to say. I thought it was interesting that he had to tell a story to illustrate the answer to my question (yes or no). It was a lunch meeting and we were short on time and I really would've preferred a direct yes or no - something like "sure you can order shutter windows-they would look nice and offer excellent protection', rather than a story. At the end of the meeting I remember thinking that as an SJ I was really trying to get 'quick closure': from him through the question and answer session - but he kept foiling that by giving me very long, meanderingly vague, answers, which left my SJ self feeling very frustrated, lol....and feeling like time was being wasted. I remember thinking "wow...a meeting that could've taken 15 minutes just took a whole hour...sigh!"

I don't know....it's a difference in communication styles, I guess, but it can be frustrating to someone who's not accustomed to that style..

 

[Bella2016]

I suppose. But as an experienced architect I don't think it was a matter of not knowing what to say. I thought it was interesting that he had to tell a story to illustrate the answer to my question (yes or no). It was a lunch meeting and we were short on time and I really would've preferred a direct yes or no - something like "sure you can order shutter windows-they would look nice and offer excellent protection', rather than a story. At the end of the meeting I remember thinking that as an SJ I was really trying to get 'quick closure': from him through the question and answer session - but he kept foiling that by giving me very long, meanderingly vague, answers, which left my SJ self feeling very frustrated, lol....and feeling like time was being wasted. I remember thinking "wow...a meeting that could've taken 15 minutes just took a whole hour...sigh!"

I don't know....it's a difference in communication styles, I guess, but it can be frustrating to someone who's not accustomed to that style..

If I started naming reasons as to why he may have rambled I could ramble on all day.

Just as an aside, I tend to be more to the point in writing so if it is possible to communicate that way it might save you some frustration.

Also however I'm not 100% convinced that the behaviour you are speaking of is necessarily common to an INTP although it may be - I have seen this behaviour in other personality types and find it frustrating myself.

 

[SoubaTem]

If I started naming reasons as to why he may have rambled I could ramble on all day.

Just as an aside, I tend to be more to the point in writing so if it is possible to communicate that way it might save you some frustration.

Also however I'm not 100% convinced that the behaviour you are speaking of is necessarily common to an INTP although it may be - I have seen this behaviour in other personality types and find it frustrating myself.

+1 on being more on point and concise when writing