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the next step? Can we be friends please?

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I realized I have this affinity for older INTJ men, usually around 10 years older. I appreciate them for their intelligence, their discipline, their fairness, their quirks, and also their search/thirst for knowledge. And sometimes, i have the rare chance to get to know them and start talking to them about conceptual issues we are both interested in, but what next?

I would like to see us advancing... from mere acquaintances, to friends? But for me, being a friend is also about spending quality time, doing stuff together outside of the conceptual talk? Talking about other interests, other stuff... i dont know. Maybe it was "fate" that meant we were just supposed to be acquaintances, but when I meet someone like this, i want to be in that person's life and vice versa. This sounds childish i know... but how can I ask an INTJ to be my friend? When i was younger, this was easier - side effect of Fe allowed me to openly pursue people i wanted to be friends with after observing them, and in general when i was younger, i was also in an environment where most people were also open to friendship (high school heh). Now that i am older, i know and see that other people also have their walls up just like i have my walls up. there's also other rules that prevent us from being more than acquaintances outside of how we know each other i guess - example, when i was in college, i really liked the T.A. for my philosophy class. he knew more than the professor did, and we always had conversations (outside of class) about philosophy and other intellectual stuff we were interested in. but after that class, we never got to talk to each other again. :sad:

any advice?
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What about the T.A. from my philosophy class? :unsure: The class was last year, and I havent seen him around since last December? wouldnt it be weird if i add him now.....?

Also: i know he has a facebook, because we have a mutual friend and i can click on his name, but he is on private. so i took this as a "DONT ADD ME" sign.
I'm not saying it can't happen, but a few years of gaining experience and aplomb may be what you really need to be interesting for (i.e. taken seriously by) these people.

^I agree with this. Which is why for now, I'm content with being friends or at least keeping connected.

About facebook: Yes, I've been seeing the trend with INTJs - if you're not a friend IRL, not a facebook friend. But he has added over 350 people?! so i cant tell if he is like me and adds just acquaintances that seem ok?
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