Personality Cafe banner

the next step? Can we be friends please?

1834 10
I realized I have this affinity for older INTJ men, usually around 10 years older. I appreciate them for their intelligence, their discipline, their fairness, their quirks, and also their search/thirst for knowledge. And sometimes, i have the rare chance to get to know them and start talking to them about conceptual issues we are both interested in, but what next?

I would like to see us advancing... from mere acquaintances, to friends? But for me, being a friend is also about spending quality time, doing stuff together outside of the conceptual talk? Talking about other interests, other stuff... i dont know. Maybe it was "fate" that meant we were just supposed to be acquaintances, but when I meet someone like this, i want to be in that person's life and vice versa. This sounds childish i know... but how can I ask an INTJ to be my friend? When i was younger, this was easier - side effect of Fe allowed me to openly pursue people i wanted to be friends with after observing them, and in general when i was younger, i was also in an environment where most people were also open to friendship (high school heh). Now that i am older, i know and see that other people also have their walls up just like i have my walls up. there's also other rules that prevent us from being more than acquaintances outside of how we know each other i guess - example, when i was in college, i really liked the T.A. for my philosophy class. he knew more than the professor did, and we always had conversations (outside of class) about philosophy and other intellectual stuff we were interested in. but after that class, we never got to talk to each other again. :sad:

any advice?
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Wha......

The weirdness or not shouldn't be a big factor in what you do here, I think. The question is whether or not you want to take those next steps. You could send a message wanting to reconnect that would be one idea. Adding him as a Facebook friend would be another route but there are different interpretations on what makes a Facebook friend, IMO. I say this as someone with a few thousand friends, some that are former classmates/co-workers, some are friends of friends, etc.

High school wasn't my time for making a lot of friends. University was way better, IIRC.
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top