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I drive a blue tricycle with a gold bell.
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The PerCARnicler
Edition 7 - Wednesday, May 27, 2020 - www.personalitycafe.com

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Before we begin:

Dearest viewers,
I understand that you've greatly enjoyed my little project here on perc. I've enjoyed making it. I will continue to do so. I am happy that it brings you such great joy. HOWEVER, I really must request that you STOP sending me your used bras and panties and boxers to show your appreciation. If you MUST continue to show your appreciation in some strange, physical way, then perhaps you could band together and send two tickets to something I'd actually enjoy (such as a ride on the Venice-Simpleton Orient Express:
) It really isn't needed, but if you must. STOP WITH THE UNDIES!


Important disclaimer
The opinions and views expressed in The PerCARnicler are those of a deranged ENTP editor and members of the community. They may not reflect the views of Personalitycafe itself, or the views of the moderators (who are absolutely not lizard people) or of VerticalScope, or the demanding opinions of the otters (who despite spending so much time in water don't have blubber and rely on fur to keep them warm...dumb otters). It's also not true that you can buy off the editor, probably.


What is The PerCARnicler and why was it created?
The PerChronicler is a weekly "newspaper" for the forum...well if you print it, which I'm not suggesting. I was procrastinating doing something I needed to do when I thought, "hmm you know what should exist? Area 51 tours through SpaceX travel agency, playing risk with actual countries, and a newspaper for personality cafe that has member contributions (such as comics, artwork, recipes, opinion pieces, poems, crafts, chest hair submissions, etc) guest articles, A link to a "thread of the week", some basic world news for the INTPS who don't go outside (I got you), polls, member interviews, auditions for a PerC mascot, a "ban of the week" category (which is satire and if you do stupid things to be banned won't be appreciated by the seven people who are going to read this, so the joke would be on you), A member spotlight, any info from PerC that should be passed along, etc." Surprisingly, neither SpaceX, Elon Musk himself, The US Air-force, or any world leaders have responded to my messages...yet, but the PerC mods said that's a pretty good idea so here we are.


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You've included the "What is this and why was it created?" post in the last three editions... How long were you planning on doing that?
Until it takes off. Whatever, you're not my real mother. I don't have to listen to you.

How can I submit something?
Do you want to list your top favorite Teslas and you want everyone to know that you think Tesla Y is superior to X? Or have you read a motorcycle manuel that you want to recommend? Do you want your car to be showcased, interviewed (yes, the car), talk about an area or interest or expertise? Are you extremely passionate about snow mobiles? Do you want to publicly ask me for terrible advise? Perfect! Send me a PM with the subject title "Newspaper" and we'll get you on a future edition (all forum rules do still apply). This is as interactive as you want it to be! The sky (and my attention span) are the limit!

Wasn't this the PerChronicler... for a personality type site?:
Well.... yes, but then this happened:
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I have embraced our new car forum. Sure, I know nothing about cars, but has that ever stopped a 'journalist' writing about a topic before? It won't. I'm your new vehicle expert! (but probably go see a mechanic, or at least that guy who will fix your refrigerator, car, toaster oven, and your cat.) I think in the old days of being a personality site, you'd find him in the ISTP section, but now it's probably just the mechanic sub forum.

Thread of the week:
Obviously the mechanics (who used to be ISTPs) showing their projects:

Art work by perc member of the week:
This counts as art. It is beautiful.

Songs about trains:

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Member/Mod of the week:
It is I. Sorry @Cherry, but now that I'm a mod I can make myself mod of the week. muhahhaha.

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Failed arctic expedition of the week
Welcome to this week’s edition in our long-running series of car-related failed antarctic expeditions! Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to die in Antarctica from a faulty stove? That’s what nearly happened to rear admiral Byrd, first man to reach the south pole, and first man to nearly die of carbon monoxide poisoning on the south pole. He, however, did not take a car.


This obvious error also occurred to the man who rescued rear admiral Byrd, a certain Dr. Poulter. He spent the next few years designing the Antarctic Snow Cruiser - Antarctica's premier motor vehicle. A 56 foot, 75,000 pound monstrosity with a massive diesel-electric powertrain and wheels measuring 120 inch in diameter. It provided enough space for five people to live in Snowpiercer-esque fashion, with central heating and running lights, capable of being self-sufficient for a full year. The crew would only need light blankets to sleep in the Antarctic cold.


Of course, everything went awry, or I wouldn’t be writing this. The car had difficulty even getting from its Chicago workplace to the Boston port. On its way through ohio, the steering failed, and it drove off a bridge and into a stream. It took three days and three nights for it be resurrected, but that was only the start of the problems.


Having arrived in Antarctica, the immediate issue was leaving the boat. No ramp was available. The ramp that was hastily constructed proved too weak, and the vehicle fell through. Finally having reached snow and ice, after a journey of three months, it turned out the wheels had no traction. The wheels were made smooth to prevent the accumulation of snow and ice. It did indeed work quite well in preventing snow from getting a grip on it - it also prevented them from getting any grip on the snow. They did sink into the snow quite efficiently.


Various solutions were tried. The spare wheels were added to the front to prevent the sinking, and the rear wheels were given chains to increase traction. The best solution turned out to be a particularly innovative one: drive backwards. Somehow, the wheel gave more traction in this direction. One wonders how the crew found out, and whether they were trying to flee Antarctica. Regardless, the vehicle was successfully driven 92 miles in reverse, resting some distance inland on the Ross Ice Shelf. There, it functioned as a comfortable base. While the car performed its vehicular duties very poorly, the inside was indeed warmed to a pleasant temperature, and it was used as a fixed base for several months, until the expedition was recalled when the USA entered the war.


The car has been found several times since, in 1946 and 1958, covered in successively higher mounds of snow and ice. It is now resting under either this massive pile of ice, or at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean.


Further reading (and photos!) this week is this geocities page: Admiral Byrd's Snow Cruiser - By Albert Phillips

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Book of the week
CRASH. I haven't actually read it myself, but according to wikipedia Crash is a story "told through the eyes of narrator James Ballard, named after the author himself, but it centers on the sinister figure of Dr. Robert Vaughan, a "former TV-scientist, turned nightmare angel of the expressways". Ballard meets Vaughan after being involved in a car accident himself near London airport Gathering around Vaughan is a group of alienated people, all of them former crash victims, who follow him in his pursuit to re-enact the crashes of celebrities and experience what the narrator calls "a new sexuality, born from a perverse technology". Vaughan's ultimate fantasy is to die in a head-on collision with movie star Elizabeth Taylor. Crash (Ballard novel) - Wikipedia

Movie of the week:
CARS!
Get those "kicks on Route 66" fix with the Disney & Pixar hit Cars.
or just watch the funniest moments if you have a short attention span.


Game of the Week
IRON DRAGON.
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(not my pic. stolen from Iron Dragon House Rules: “Good” Events - Game Articles - Pair O’ Dice Games. I was literally too lazy to pull it off of my bookcase, open it and snap a pic.) This game is one of my favorites.

The goal of Iron Dragon is to build a railroad empire that spans the board. Players take turns moving their trains over the tracks they build to transport goods, getting money for making specific deliveries and spending that money on upgrading their train and building extra rails, using a crayon to draw the rails onto the board.

There are many different kinds of terrains on the board, most of which increase the cost necessary to build rail through them. Each player gets a foreman, which they can switch out throughout the game, that gives a discount on a specific type of terrain, adding some extra strategy to the building aspect.

The game is set in a fantasy setting where trains are powered by dragons (hence the name). The fantasy setting does explain the large underground part of the map that can be used to go underneath the ocean (the home of orcs and trolls) and the fact that you can load your train onto a boat (which is much cheaper than having to build rails in the beginning).

The game can be played with 2-6 players and takes about 2-3 hours, depending on the amount of players.

Vehicle related video of the week:
She decided her Tesla should be a truck. Then she made her Tesla a truck. Also she's probably my favorite youtuber.

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Vehicle world news:
European sleeper trains are making a comeback and I'm all about it.


yeah, that's really all I have. Sure, this isn't the best edition, but it's the only perCARnicler edition. The cool pics of old cars were nice though. they were courtesy of @Glenda Gnome Starr 's trip to the Pierce Arrow museum in Buffalo, NY. She also included that "The Pierce Arrow Motor Cars were built in Buffalo between 1901 to 1938. Most of them were expensive luxury cars but the company built other types of vehicles as well." For more information visit: Home


 

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I read about the sleeper trains just this morning! in a paper-paper. It made me happy, my last traintrip to "the continent"(paris) was very sleepdeprived, with train changes in the middle of the night, walking the streets of copenhagen for hours after midnight, and a few hours in the middle of night in some small town that might have been in france, might have been belgium... not sure.
Now I am just waiting for electric minicars to be a thing (and for small cars/bicycles to have own roads/part of roads, as you die if hitting a bigger car), like an electric pea...
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