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The PerChronicler
Edition 4 - Thursday April 9,2020 - www.personalitycafe.com

Important disclaimer
The opinions and views expressed in The PerChronicler are those of a deranged ENTP editor and members of the community. They may not reflect the views of Personalitycafe itself, or the views of the moderators (who are absolutely not lizard people) or of VerticalScope, or the demanding opinions of the otters (who despite spending so much time in water don't have blubber and rely on fur to keep them warm...dumb otters). It's also not true that you can buy off the editor, probably.
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What is The PerChronicler and why was it created?
The PerChronicler is a weekly "newspaper" for the forum...well if you print it, which I'm not suggesting. I was procrastinating doing something I needed to do when I thought, "hmm you know what should exist? Area 51 tours through SpaceX travel agency, playing risk with actual countries, and a newspaper for personality cafe that has member contributions (such as comics, artwork, recipes, opinion pieces, poems, crafts, chest hair submissions, etc) guest articles, A link to a "thread of the week", some basic world news for the INTPS who don't go outside (I got you), polls, member interviews, auditions for a PerC mascot, a "ban of the week" category (which is satire and if you do stupid things to be banned won't be appreciated by the seven people who are going to read this, so the joke would be on you), A member spotlight, any info from PerC that should be passed along, etc." Surprisingly, neither SpaceX, Elon Musk himself, The US Air-force, or any world leaders have responded to my messages...yet, but the PerC mods said that's a pretty good idea so here we are.

You've included the "What is this and why was it created?" post in the last three editions... How long were you planning on doing that?
Until it takes off. Whatever, you're not my real mom. I don't have to listen to you.

How can I submit something?
Do you want to list your top favorite cheeses and you want everyone to know that you think American cheese in single packages is the best tasting, most beautiful option? Or have you read a book you want to recommend, be interviewed, talk about an area or interest or expertise? Are you extremely passionate about the Dancing Plague of 1518? Do you want to publicly ask me for terrible advise? Perfect! Send me a PM with the subject title "Newspaper" and we'll get you on a future edition (all forum rules do still apply). This is as interactive as you want it to be! The sky (and my attention span) are the limit!
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Mbti and love
What Dating Each Type Would be like under quarantine

(See original articles at https://ai11686.tumblr.com/post/614428960997163008/what-dating-each-type-would-be-like-under and https://ai11686.tumblr.com/post/614437630093983744/mbti-under-quarantine-continues-single-editions)

Xsfp
Where to find him - you met him on your solo hike, on some forum discussing stocks, online poker forum, tinder

Typical date with an xstp - he will invite you out to go out scuba diving with him at a secluded beach . While the 2 of you explore the ocean you’ll encountered a great white shark- thank goodness there was sea lions swimming nearby so the shark swam away. When you get out of the water- he will lean in for a kiss and you’ll tell him about the 6 feet distance rule - he laughed it off and give you a passionate kiss as he leave he’ll wink and say “Goodbye Corona.”

When it’s over - you’re never going near deep water ever again

Xsfj
Where to find him- somewhere out there beneath the big blue sky - as in grocery markets, online websites , Home Depot etc etc

Typical date with an xsfj - he will invite you over to his house to hang out . As you entered he greets you in a face mask and gloves - tells you to wash your hands and gives you a mask and gloves- as you put it on he took 6 steps back away from you and compliments you for being beautiful . The two of you will then cook dinner together standing 6 feet apart - eat dinner at opposite ends of his dining room and before you leave he will ask to sanitizer the window pane of your car , the date will end with the two of you kissing from opposite side of the glass

When it’s over - you never knew how smothering social distancing can be

Xntj
Where to find him- some forum discussing geopolitics , Skyrim , linkin, some tech forum

Typical date with an xntj - he will invite you out on Skype as the two of you play a game of truth or dare chess . The date will end with him telling you “every step you take I’ll be three moves ahead” despite the fact that you won the chess game

When it’s over - don’t worry so much about him- he still have his own soul mate - himself

Xstj
Where to find him - he found you on a dating website Your friend hooked you guys up , he was an old hs school classmate that you used to crush on

Typical date with an xstj male - he will ask you to go out for a walk but reminded you to stay 6 feet away from him , the two of you will walk around in the woods that he used to visit as a kid and he will remind you continuously about how great it was in the old days ( which was about a few weeks ago ) - he will repeat his story several times to make sure you heard him correctly . He will give you facts and statistics about the danger of the corona virus and the explain to you about how it’ll affect economy . By the end of the date you will memorize every fact there is about him bc his story were repeated more than once

When it’s over - you need more unpredictability- go find an xstp

Xsfp
Where to find to find him - Instagram or somewhere promoting his art on instagram

Typical date with an xsfp- The 2 of you will video chat with one another, he will then ask you if it’s ok for him to sketch an image of you . You gladly accepted. The date ends when he blows you a kiss

When it’s over - you realize that the picture that he sketched for you looks vaguely familiar - actually it looks just like him hmmm…

Xnfj
Where to find him- he picked you up in his car - you had a flat tire in the middle a secluded road or any mbti website talking about how he is a rare breed - one of a kind

Typical date with an xnfj - he invited you to the beach , in which you have no choice but to accept because your car have a flat tire and he promised you a ride home , at the beach in the two of you will walk 6feet apart from one another and gaze deeply into each other’s eyes . You will then sit 6 feet apart from each other in front of the bonfire and watch the sunset together as he tells you “ I can see through your soul . “ The date will end with him blowing you a kiss- 10 ft away this time .

When it’s over- you receive a note from him 3 days later - explaining how he have to remind you that he saved your life and you should be grateful that he didn’t leave you on the side of the road and that he shut his door on you the moment you left his car .

Xntp
Where to find him - the junk food aisle of some grocery market

Typical date with an xntp - he will invite you to watch a movie with him on google chat - as the two of you snack on popcorns , pizzas and chips . As you’re watching the movie he will explain to you what goes on in each scenes - who the director of the movie was - make sarcastic remarks at anything that seems out of place . However oddly enough half way through the movie you hear him snoring

When it’s over - don’t worry too much about him - he probably doesn’t remember who you are

Xnfp
Where to find him - he forgot his wallet at the grocery store - you returned it to him

Typical date with an xnfp - he will invite you over to his house - when you reminded him that you’re under quarantine he will reassure you that you’ve already touched his wallet and his phone to punch you’re number in with a smile. You realized he lives in a treehouse- no really he does - he will then give you a tour of his collection of kimonos , antiques and arts and craft that he have created- he will then invite you to have some tea in which you declined .

When it’s over- you need to find someone more predictable- go look for an xstj

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Ban of the week
Dear friend,

With this private message I wish to inform you of my new status as a card-carrying mafia member. My application has been processed and accepted. I am now, as they say, a "made man" in the "Casa Nostra" . This fact does not have to change much about our relationship, but I do wish to offer you "protection" from "bad things" that may "happen to you". Please PayPal me 10% of your money at your earliest possible convenience.

Thank you!
Signed,
The Godfather
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Now some lock down related interviews with viewers like you
nt the dc

1.) What is your MBTI type? I categorize myself as NT because those traits are strongest..

ENTJ is the best fit.

2.) Are you currently under lockdown/quarantine/shelter in place, or whatever your local equivalent is? (If not, do you expect to be soon?)

I will not be, I am a healthcare provider and I am pretty much exempt from quarantine.

(the following questions are under the assumption of lockdowns, but if you're not under one you can answer how you plan to handle it)

3.) How has it changed your life? What are the positives and negatives?

Negative, rules have been put into place which make our revenue less. Obviously the hysteria, death, and economic fall out are also negative for humanity.

4.) Have you taken up any new hobbies or interests?

No, when I had some downtime I took up playing a video game but that was short lived as they put us back on schedule again.

5.) Are you implementing any creative solutions due to being more at home?

No, I can function at home. From making food to entertaining myself. They don't involve creativity just me doing more than I usually would.

6.) Do you have any advice for others in the same situation right now?

Isolate yourself if you feel sick for two weeks with a fever or respiratory illness. If you are not sick just be mindful of washing your hands and stay away from people who are coughing a lung out or sneezing. Most of us will be fine.

7.) How do you keep from boredom?

By doing things I don't find boring.


Sophi
1.) What is your MBTI type?

ESFJ

2.) Are you currently under lockdown/quarantine/shelter in place, or whatever your local equivalent is? (If not, do you expect to be soon?)

I am currently under "lockdown" I suppose. I still have to go to work, but a lot of things are shut down in my area so I can't do much.

(the following questions are under the assumption of lockdowns, but if you're not under one you can answer how you plan to handle it)

3.) How has it changed your life?

What are the positives and negatives? First 2 weeks were pretty nice, actually, I cleaned my house, took walks everyday, etc. After the first 2 weeks I got kind of depressed and lost all motivation to do anything. I've started work this week, though, so I think having some external imposed schedule is going to help me get it together.

4.) Have you taken up any new hobbies or interests?

No, but I have tried to pick up work on some of my old hobbies. I'm currently studying Korean. I made up a syllabus for myself to follow. I did draw a little the other day. I started watching walking dead last week. Big mistake. I can't stop watching it. I think this week I'm taking a break from it, because I've been going to bed too late.

5.) Are you implementing any creative solutions due to being more at home?

I rearranged my front room, which I hated. Now I can sit in it without feeling irritated, so it gives me more space (I live in a 2 room apartment). I take a walk everyday by the river so I get some sun and don't go stir crazy. I have been meeting up with a few friends about twice a week, one is my language exchange partner for Korean. But besides them, I have basically stayed away from large gatherings or events.

6.) Do you have any advice for others in the same situation right now?

Make a schedule. I think my biggest mistake was not making a schedule at the beginning. Next thing I knew, I was going to bed later and later and waking up later and later. It totally screwed up my circadian rhythm and made me extremely lazy during the day. Also, if you can go for a walk in your area (away from people of course) then I think getting some sun and exercise is really important to keep you mentally healthy. I've heard some areas are extremely strict and won't let people leave their houses at all...which would really suck. Luckily I live in an area where I can do that without coming into contact with a lot of people.

7.) How do you keep from boredom?

Pick up old projects and finish them. Or lie on your bed and think about how bored you are. Yeah, I was pretty bored...
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Book recommendation
This week's book recommendation is Blindsight by Peter Watts. Are you feeling claustrophobic being stuck inside with your weird roommates, one of which appears to be a vampire and/or Jesus? Read this book and rejoice that at least you're not doing this exact thing in a spaceship hurtling towards alien life that defies understanding. Also features proper hard science and a deep dive into the nature and necessity of consciousness.

Blindsight is available online for free here or from any reputable bookstore: https://www.rifters.com/real/Blindsight.htm
Despite really being available for free online, it's not self-published, and I promise it had a proper editor and everything.
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PerC Quarantine Bachelor
Inspired by NipNip's dating ad in the last edition, I've sent the most eligible bachelors on PerC 36 questions that will make you fall in love with them (based on 36 Questions - How to fall in love with anyone).

NipNip

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Personal answer: my (best) friend who I haven't seen, or heard from, in months due to ongoing medical issues. Celebrity answer: John Frusciante. Dead celebrity answer: Stanley Kubrick.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Ideally, I'd like some work of mine to be famous - so that I can reap all the benefits of success privately, without the agonies of public fame and glory.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Perhaps, a little. Knowing that, for no other reason than the pressure of the moment, whatever I practiced is the one thing that won't come out anyway.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

The sense of it having been 'productive' in some way; could be through creation, learning, discovering something new, social interactions that I thought were positively energizing.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Yesterday. (Yesterdaaaayyy....) And, no, to myself of course.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Definitely mind. I can't say that I've been exactly wasteful with the youthful vigor in my bones to date (and it's only <4 years to go until I'm 30).

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

I have a secret hunch about my previous death: drowning. So not that - as I don't suppose the universe is as uninspired as to repeat the same trick twice.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

[Shuffles nearer Michel Pfeiffer cardboard] Openness, humor, inquisitiveness.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

I can only really come up with very indefinite answers... So why not: life in general?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

To be much richer or much poorer, either end of the spectrum.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

[Done - Michelle Pfeiffer knows everything now.]

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Omnipotence, is the only answer.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Sorry, what, you lost me at Oh crystal ball, Crystal ball, Na na nuh nuh, Life is beautiful.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Starting to truly Live, actually; consciously, mindfully, happily, lovingly.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Finishing my studies after 5 long, long years of despising everything about them.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

The casual attitude, shared interests, jokes, similar lifestyle, zero drama, equilibrium (i.e. no dominant or submissive party). Bonus points: the potential to do great things on the side ('professionally').

17. What is your most treasured memory?

Whichever one a certain smell is taking me back to.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

Walking right into a mossy pond thinking - and verbally announcing! - it was a big grass field. Splash.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

Oh yes... Why? Because a serious weight would lift somehow. Most responsibilities: out of the window. Money: I don't want a penny unspent by the time the year is over. I would quit most things... and live a very simple life, come to think of it. Active (lots of travel and moving about and stuff) - but simple. Enjoying the small things. Using my senses properly. Focusing on my environment more than ever.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

A stable and unconsummated version of romantic relationships.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

Currently, and for the most part historically, none at all. But I maintain in my mind a tremendous amount of 'speculative affection', an abstract kind of love. So, yes, the 'would be' answer to that, I think, would be pretty convincing - just vacant now (and for the vast majority of my life so far).

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

NN: "Just great in Dangerous Liaisons." MP: "Hhhummm..." NN: "Irresistible in The Age of Innocence." MP: "Errrrrrm ..." NN: "Enigmatic vibe, very intriguing." MP: "... I'm sorry, when do we switch partn-" NN: "Eyes of an angel." MP: "Oookay... Can I go?" NN: "Brimming voice that comely compliments the-" MP: *smacks cardboard*

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

Average. Stable family, good care, highly conscientious - but I don't feel terribly close to my family either.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

I love her to pieces, Dr. Freud.

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

[looks down at crumpled cardboard]
 

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

Everything. My time, interests, work, pleasures, joys, regrets, pains, ... everything. Very romantic, I know. But I genuinely believe in the idea of having that kind of relationship with someone.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

That I have often doubted my capacity to truly love.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

[Alright, let's just skip these.]

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Waving back at a person who was really waving at someone else.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

Three days ago, All By Myself.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

[Screw Michelle Pfeiffer.]

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

One thing I would never joke about is Coronahahah.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

Probably something about never really telling, or even showing, my parents how I really feel about them.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

Probably nothing, since there are many things and I'm not really the type for snap decisions. One of my proudest possessions, though, without doubt, would be my 1894 original Jungle Book original with illustrations.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

After a long consideration: my godson's.

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I love playing snooker (and pool and all other variants), but the problem is: too much playing/practicing is harmful to me in two major ways. (1) Physical strain - lower back pains, also neck, shoulders, etc. (2) I waste a lot of time, energy mental focus, money, in exchange for... well, nothing - entertainment (and even that is arguable at times; the sport's got a very addictive quality). Should I give up on it entirely, or do you suggest something else?


Fennel

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Llyralen, Ai Tran, Falling Foxes, NIHM, and all the others from the ENFP subforum, plus Dissenter and the folks at the Classical Music thread. PARTY!!!
What, I’m supposed choose only one? Ah, that is a tough one. Excluding banned members, I’d say @Purrfessor would be nice for a little chat (maybe more?). We don’t agree on everything, but overall he’s a pleasant, fun guy and a looker, too.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

I want to become the next Hitler – someone so universally hated that people are actually inspired/ motivated to become a lot better than I was. I want my flaws and weaknesses to be famous, not necessarily myself. So people would know what is bad about me, judge and hate those traits of mine. “Don’t be such a Sei,” will be a popular proverb.
We all need a good (er, bad?) reverse role model sometimes, so why not?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Always, always. My speaking is at least a minute behind my thoughts, which would have circled at least three times by then. Anyone who has seen me on Discord for some time knows this. I can’t talk over the phone for the life of me. Some kind of speech anxiety. That reminds me, I should make the most of this lockdown and practice calling for food delivery. Want some pizza?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

A day with the person I love the most. Starts and ends with her patting me on the head. A walk outside, it’s not too cold, and I pet stray cats on the street just because. Did you know that she is so gorgeous under the morning sun? I chop vegetables, we cook and eat brunch. I sit and sleep on the floor just because. I am an artist, I draw, write, make music. But she is the music, the light and salt of the earth. Did you know that she has the voice of an angel? We cook mapo tofu for dinner, we both like it hot, eating at the kotatsu, chatting about boys who can’t handle the spiciness. Did you know that this is just a dream? I feel her hand on my head anyway, as I fall asleep on my futon. Oyasumi nasai.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

To myself, a few hours ago, when my musical alarm sounded.
To someone else - recorded, somewhere in October 2019 I think. It’s on vocaroo.
To someone else – live, March 8 or 9, my bff was botching some anime lyrics real bad so I had to correct him. Even though the lyrics in question were in English. *facepalm*

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

I would retain the body. The best thing about the mind is that it changes. And I wouldn’t want the mind of my 30 year old self for 60 years lol; that would be horrible. Here’s to hoping it does get better over time, even though I would much rather have a swift death (under 40, when the pandemic situation is over). I wonder what 80somethings like to think about, though?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

I just know that I will die in the most horrible way, just when I’ve learned to love life, it will be taken away from me. Some people say that the more you say “I want to die,” the more Death flees from you. Death will love me when I love Life. Maybe an accident, but most probably illness because my family had a lot of those disease-related deaths. From tuberculosis to cancers, and suddenly dying all alone in their house or apartment. I will probably die alone too, from heat stroke after a morning run. Something like that.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

Wait, who is my partner now? o_O
My ex is an Introverted iNtuitive like me. Likes anime. Writes poetry and loves reading.
I want my future partner to be a Feeling type who likes classical music and believes in God.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

“And I know I don’t deserve this, the capacity to feel. To laugh, and to cry, and to praise.” – Mineral, If I Could
I’m most grateful for, and surprised with, the emotions that I experience with others. Connectedness. Sense of beauty, order (when they’re there) and being part of something bigger than myself. Things that are larger than life.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I should have been less spoiled. I did have a strict upbringing in the sense that it was traditional, there was structure and rules. But it was still too comfortable with a lot of loopholes. For example, I was allowed to play video games as much as I wanted as long as I had good grades, which I managed to do throughout grade school. I was not taught to do chores more difficult than setting the table and operating the rice cooker. And my parents would buy me anything I wanted when I was very young (which wasn’t a lot, thankfully, but still it was weird). It was a life of luxury that I hadn’t earned.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Tell who, what?
I was born on the day in between the martyrdom of the national hero and the massacre of the innocents. Legend has it that I was born bald and never cried, even when I was spanked as a child. But heartbreak would change all that. My older brother was my world, but he had to have a girlfriend instead of being with me. So he failed in college. Karma. I gave up drawing for science, science for literature, literature for music, and music for Christianity. Or rather, my father cheated on my mother, got thrown out of the house, and his business failed. Karma. But that meant I can’t go to music school anymore. Whatever. It’s better to be poor than to live with those kinds of people and feel like you owe them something.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Excellent physical health. That has so many advantages and possibilities. Just think about how much more I can do if I were healthier.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I want to know, specifically, what is wrong with me, and how to fix it. What exactly, is the best way to improve myself without feeling like a complete idiot? And throw in some inspiration, self-confidence, and self-esteem in there too, please, and thank you.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Passing the Japanese Language Proficiency Test, and studying/working in Japan. I failed the JLPT N4 and was not able to continue my Nihongo lessons because I was studying full time in music school. The time and money to study didn’t come again, and I don’t even know where my basic Nihongo certificate is or if I ever received it, pfft. I’ll probably have to start from scratch again if I study the language. I’ve forgotten most of what I’d learned. JLPT is still the only standardized test that I’ve failed to date, except if you count psychological testing, hehe.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

That would be learning how to play a musical instrument late in life (as opposed to learning it as a little child). I suppose playing the classical guitar is the bigger accomplishment than piano or voice, because the mechanics of it is tricky and I’m very confident with my level of playing in the pieces I had memorized. I don’t have that confidence with the other instruments. And the fact that my fingertips are so soft, it’s as if I never touched a steel string guitar or electric bass in my life, that’s a nice little bonus!

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Honesty and the nerve to ask invasive questions like these, lol. But seriously, the kind of friendship I crave requires intimacy that goes beyond what is politically correct. I value the friend who can see my weaknesses and call me out for my mistakes. Someone who can take and throw punches. And at the end of the day, is still a friend nonetheless.

17. What is your most treasured memory?

Recitals. Hm, it’s hard to pick one, but I’ll go with the voice recital where I cried too hard, too early on With You from Ghost the Musical. The choral pieces I participated in that day were excellent, and the kids in the choir always give me the chills, if not tears, they’re so good. Also, my niece was with me in the choir, a once in a lifetime event. I don’t think my family would have watched the program if she wasn’t participating also.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

My last job, everything about it was awful, I can’t even describe how terrible it was. In the end, I had a nervous breakdown in the office. I could have killed somebody, it was that bad. All the rumors, backbiting, and plastic people. What I couldn’t stand were the attacks against my school and accusations against my colleagues and I of stealing.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

You know, I’d been thinking about that for a long time (there are threads about it), but I really don’t know myself. I guess it will have to actually happen to me before I can tell what I would do. Something will change, definitely. I might give away most of my possessions and spend the rest of my time alone. Or I might double the socializing and strive to meet my friends as often as I could. It really depends on the circumstances.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

A friend is a brother/sister from another mother. We are all family.
Friendship is the banging against the glass wall or Absolute Terror Field between two people. It is the hacking through the gate, the leap across time, the whisper of the heart, a silent voice, your name, the garden of words, weathering with you, the flower that bloomed that day, your lie in April (or whatever month), the assassination classroom, the melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi (or whoever), and all those cheesy anime that you cried to anyway because admit it, you have a heart too.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

See the answer to #20 above.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

My ex was cute, a good writer, intelligent, cuddly, and very patient with me.
I expect future partner/s to be more knowledgeable about the things that matter to me, more social, emotional, sexually attractive, and understanding with me.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

Not closer or happier than most other people’s. So-so. It’s common now for families to separate. I had a less happy childhood because of autism and introversion, mostly. Nothing much my family could do about that until I was diagnosed as an adult.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

We are not very close and have widely different religious beliefs, but we have a special relationship. I do believe I’m her spiritual heir in the family because I inherited the religious bent, even if that went in another direction. There are a lot of disagreements there that I dare not touch. I believe I’m right and she believes she’s right. She is my biggest supporter but also my biggest hindrance in life. She can protect me all she wants, but she can’t hide the truth forever.

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

I’ll just skip this because I’m alone right now.

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

I wish I had someone with whom I could share my love for hot and spicy mapo tofu.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I have terrible allergies, and can’t stand any artificial scents like perfume, lotion, even strong-smelling shampoo or soap. Wearing clothes with fabric conditioner might kill me.
I love hugs and would often give them, but head pats are special.
Sometimes, I listen to post-hardcore “scene” music. “Loud” music relaxes me.
I could get in a mood where I don’t talk to you for weeks; that has nothing to do with you, and I might not even notice it.
There are four things that I reserve the word “hate” for: memes, sarcasm, people who pretend to be good, and Mozart.
I like my eggs over easy, and my coffee black, with at least twice as much water than normal.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

Beats me. I could say just about anything to someone I just met, haha.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Shooting a short film with my classmates. I had to act two roles, one of which was a guy who has a love scene with the protagonist. So many takes for the love scene, that my asthma acted up and I had to get serious to get out of the confined space. They had to show only my back and silhouette for it to work. I guess it did work, if the audience doesn’t know me.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

By myself, just two days ago when I was reflecting on my devotional. I don’t remember the last time I cried in from of another person. Probably my therapist in January.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
If I had a partner then that’s amazing in itself.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

It’s not so much the subject as the situation and timing. Is it a good time to be joking? Is the content of the joke of good quality?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

That Jesus loves them. Because it’s cheesy and totally out of character for me.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

My grandfather’s Bible, because it’s the family heirloom.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

My father’s. He has at least three different wives and families. Just imagine what a nightmare handling his funeral would be. And there are many who actually admire the person, so many guests. Nope. I’m not attending. Too many levels of awkward, sorry.

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

My musical frustrations. I have no talent for it and only a little interest, but sometimes there’s this nagging feeling, you know? Especially with classical music history and theory, if I don’t make the effort to relearn, I will forget a lot of things. Just yesterday, I had to Google what era Leonin and Perotin were from. What a shame! My teachers would kill me if they knew. (I studied music history twice.)

Recently, I discovered chill and relaxing music mixes, and I wish I could play background music like that. I don’t know how to improvise and play pop music because my ears are pretty bad, and coordination is terrible. So much frustration. I wish I could just enjoy music like all the talented kids do. But no, I had to discover it very late in the game.


Heh, that's not very invasive... I could avoid some answers if I wanted to.
Someone once asked me for my favorite poem, and I didn't know her well. Now that's intimate information.



phil
I wouldn't have signed up for invasive questions if I knew they'd be invasive! I kid you're good

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Jesus. I want to see if everyone's bullshitting me.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Yes, for guitar playing. I don't care for fame in of itself, but I'd like to have the money that comes along with it to take care of people and use my knowledge of guitar to teach others.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Haha, while I do hate making phone calls I do not.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

Spending all day with a significant other watching all 12+ hours of the LOTR Extended Versions Trilogy.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

To myself today. To someone else? Only jokingly because I'm bad at it and I can't recall.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

I'd want my mind. I can take all of the physical pain in the world but the idea of dementia scares the ever living shit out of me, and having my history of mental illnesses I know for a fact I can handle physical ailments over mental.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Probably a broken heart. Boo-hoo.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

I don't have a partner right now.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

My Mother. She raised me and my brother by herself while being dirt poor, as our father's were either too drunk to or just didn't care to. I'd be on the streets if it wasn't for her. Responsible for giving me all the empathy I have, as she's volunteered to console rape victims, the elderly in homes, worked against sex trafficking, you name it.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

A fatherly influence is something I never really had, I'd choose having a father figure to look up to. Enough to teach me about cars because I'm so sick of paying mechanics huge bills haha.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Hello, hand — it's me, Phil. My life story has been filled with goodness and shittiness. I grew up poor as I mentioned, lived in a trailer park even — but I loved it. All of my friends lived within a minute walk of me, and I being a tall boi was used as a beacon to gather everyone to play football or N64. This is longer than 4 minutes. Basically childhood good teenagehood (not a word?) bad adulthood bad but also good.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Some type of empath power. I'd want to be able to know what people are really thinking, so I could get to the root of their problems.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I have so little sense of self, I'd love for it to tell me who I really am

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

I don't really have any dream.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I put myself in harm's way to preserve someone else's life and got stabbed for it. Weird thing to feel accomplishment over, haha.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Sense of humor for sure, if we can't make each other laugh there isn't much of a friendship.

17. What is your most treasured memory?

I have a terrible memory, I can't even remember my childhood dog and she passed when I was a teenager. One of the few I have is sticking up for one of my friends against a bully when I was a kid, I was always a gentle giant and it went against my nature to fight but I had had enough.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

The sound of my Mother being smacked by one of her boyfriends when I was a child. I still hope I'll run into him someday. Would love to make Peter feel as helpless and inferior as my Mother did.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

Wouldn't change a thing. If I only have a year left I'm going to live it out, not prolong how long I'll be dead by living as if I already was.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

Quite a bit, almost as much as relationships. I talk to a lot of people but there's few I consider friends, so I'm pretty selective.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I'm pretty sure that's all I'm made of.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

Dear hand, I like the way you help me shovel food into my mouth. I like that you exist so I can text and play guitar. You look so pretty when I clip your nails. You're very hairy it's so masculine.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

My childhood was amazing! But my family is non-existent. My grandfather on my Mom's side was a narcissistic spider who ruined that whole side of the family for anyone who didn't bend a knee to him. My Dad's side is filled with mental illness, alcoholism, and drug addiction. I've lost quite a few members of my family on that side due to these things. So I've never really had a sense of family outside of my brother and Mother.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Quite well!

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

Hand hand hand hand.

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

I share just about anything and everything with everyone, so it's hard to think of anything I don't hold back haha.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I think pineapple on pizza is an abomination and if you don't agree then you need to get out of my life immediately.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

I am only ever honest. I say what I mean and I think it's a waste of other people's time if you don't.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

I gave an entire presentation in 6th grade with my fly down. I got the idea that it was down when I saw my friend facepalming, and a girl looking at my crotch with a disgusted look on her face. I held the sign over it once I noticed it, but the damage was done. My friend confirmed my worries when I sat down.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

In front of another person? Probably in front of my Mom when I was a child. By myself? Like a week ago over a friendship issue.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

I need you to eat Cool Ranch Doritos.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Nothing. Just make sure it's a good joke if you're going to cross other people's lines.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

Nothing.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

My guitar. That's my heart and soul right there, and it doesn't have anything to do with it being the most expensive thing I own.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

If it happened today? My brother, just because he's only 35. My Mom has a host of physical disabilities and ailments, and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if I just woke up one day and she had passed. I would at least know she wasn't suffering anymore.

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I get too attached, I've done the same with my hand, but it's okay because my hand is attached to me too. Ahahaha, kill me .
[hr][/hr]
Pet of the week
We interrupt the PerC Quarantine Bachelor section for a quick look at the pet of the week, courtesy of Beth X:

Rudy is a Labsky. Apparently this mixed breed is a thing Rudy's mother is a Labrador and father is a Husky so Labsky. If his mother was a Husky he would be called a Huskadore. So yeah, it's a thing. He came to live with me when he was a baby.


His favourite thing to do in the world is to swim. Since we live near a beach this isn't a problem. That's the Lbrador in him. The other Husky side means that he is a great singer. He will sing to you when he is happy, sad and frustrated. Sometimes everyone in the house sings along with him.

His favourite people are me and then everyone else. He has a bromance with our neighbour and stands up at the fence and calls out to him for hugs. Everyone loves Rudy, everyone except Nigel the cat. Nigel is our zombie cat. He's old, cranky, and becoming toothless. Here's a moment when they are getting along.


[hr][/hr]
Lady of Light
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Living or dead? And if they're dead would they be a zombie? Living I'd say...... Kristen Bell because she looks like she'd be fun to hang out with and dead, then my older sister.


2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

I'm a pretty private person over all and I'd hate to be followed by the paparazzi. There would legit be headlines that I took a camera and shoved it where the sun doesn't shine, so only if I could be reclusive author famous. Where everyone knows my name but no one knows what I look like. Or masked singer famous. I've never watched the show but the concept could work as a crafted stage persona. That way I could go to grocery store without it being in the headlines that I bought twizzlers and san pelligrino.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Yes. It helps me get my thoughts organized.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

Spend the morning reading. Then meet my family for lunch and something fun. Spend the afternoon alone with the baby grand piano and then meet my best friends for drinks in the evening.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I sing all the time. I was humming as I typed this.
I sang to my husband earlier when we were sitting on the couch.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Mind of a thirty year old.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Not yet

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

Our sense of humor, the way we value our family, and the ability to be totally ridiculous together.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

The people in my life. My husband, my friends and my family.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Nothing really. The way I was raised helped shape who I am.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

We've been together since I was 16. There's very little he doesn't know about me.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Teleportation. It would save me so much time.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

If my children are happy.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Run the New York Marathon. Mostly due to scheduling conflicts.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

My life's not over yet, so I'm not sure.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Different things for different friends, but mostly just an authentic connection with another person.

17. What is your most treasured memory?

When my boys were born.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

When I was in elementary school a man walked into the cafeteria where we were having lunch and started shooting at us, that is tied with when my older sister was murdered.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

In a way that I couldn't plan ahead and change it? I'd just try and enjoy every moment I had left.
On my 30th birthday one of my best friends died and it was the day before her 30th birthday. Really put the whole "getting older" thing into perspective for me. Add that in to my sister dying when I was 17 and my best friend losing his fiance, I've seen more death in my life than I like to think about, so there's already a ton of things I've done over the years because I know how fleeting life really is in the end.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

He's grounded, decisive, wicked smart, funny, and an amazing father and partner.
Plus, dat ass tho.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

My family is very close but very large. My parents were very present and involved. My dad taught me to shoot a gun, hold a bow and arrow, hunt and took me fishing. My mom put me through etiquette classes, cotillion and encouraged me to buck any tradition I thought was stupid. My sisters were both my best friends and my biggest annoyances. Family time is still important and we get together as much as possible.
I also come from a rather large family. I have 18 first cousins alone(we won't even get into second or third cousins), so growing up there was always someone there to talk to, play with, fight with etc. an there really is a "the more the merrier" attitude with them.
I don't know that it was happier than most but it was generally pretty happy.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

I have a great relationship with my mom and we are pretty close. She's an ENFJ who is way cooler than I will ever hope to be (she went to woodstock ffs).


25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

I'm alone in this room.

Or am I????

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

The cake I made earlier. These weirdos don't like sweets and my sweet toothed INTJ is in another town. I miss his stupid face.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I need time to process things. I won't always know what I'm feeling in the moment until I've had time to reflect later. I'm an emotional person who doesn't like talking about my emotions but I'll analyze yours to death even if it's only in my own head.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

And inflate that ESTJ ego? LOL

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

I rarely cry in front of people. I don't like making them uncomfortable with my emotional outbursts, but probably the other week in front of my husband.
The other day.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

As someone who loves dark humor, I don't think anything is off limits.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm actually quite fond of you.
Because if you give them an inch, they will take a mile and I find indifference works best in this situation. I just wish things were different.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

I don't know that there's any material thing I couldn't part with. Everything is either protected in a fire proof safe, the bank or the cloud.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

My dad, because, and I know it sounds stupid, he's always seemed invincible to me. I mean the man has beat cancer three times.


pwowq
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

It's a question I cannot comprehend. Why would I want a dinner guest?!

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

No. Never.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Depends on the call. 99/100 I'm winging it. If important I put down bullet points on a paper and the name of whom it concerns to keep focus up.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

I cannot fathom to think of a "perfect day". Never had one.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I sang a few lines infront of GF to celebrate her balls during a public karaoke-evening. Bob Dylans "Corrina, Corrina" replaced by "Corona, Corona", which is what she did infront of a big crowd.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Easy, body. The mind can be developed. The body, after a certain age, simply won't.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

No! If everything goes as is I know exactly what will kill but I do not know how and I do not know the level of suffering except at some point there will be a lot of suffering, for a very long time.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

Love of sex. Boredom. Silliness.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

That I'm a fully functional human being atm.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Being in a family with a loving father and financial securities.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

I just did, now what?

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

To rid of all my dysfunctions.
This is typical of me, people give me "options" and I simply refuse to follow them. I didn't actually answer the question per se even if I fully understand cause the question is too frigging narrowminded.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I would assume it lies to me anyway. Don't humour quackery!

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Fly a fighter jet. Lol! The answer to why is obvious.. it requires an insane amount of luck or admirable physical&mental standards I don't possess.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Regularly running 5-10km with lungs of a 80 year old or something. No damn given, not even by me. It hurts and it's difficult and exhausting, but I like it.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Consistency.

17. What is your most treasured memory?

I don't know.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

My memory is short but bad.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

I would take all loans I could get and live life with zero fucks. "with zero accountability comes zero responsibility"

20. What does friendship mean to you?

Hanging out regularly and enjoy each others company, I guess.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I don't know. One doesn't have to know it.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

Five things I like about PerC. -people, -information sharing, -venting, -laughs, -timekilling.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

Today my ties with in particular mom and her partner is awesome.
My upbringing was quite cold and emotionally distant. No, I feel it was worse than most kids upbringing. I had it fairly easy (as in I survived), mom had a hell taking care of three with zero support.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Stable. Trustworthy.

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

We? There's only me here. We = me+perC?
We vent.
We laugh at each other.
We're dysfunctional in several ways.

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

... my diary intolerance. Cooking would get a lot easier.
... the easter ale. We could talk or not while trying them out.
... a family Spotify account. It would be cheaper for everyone.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

No, not public. Never trust the public!

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say
to someone you’ve just met.


I like that you enables us to engage in a very depersonalised way and in a personal way if feeling like it.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Holding an end briefing infront of hundred people on a international EU-project in high-school. Upfront, honest basically saying "Hi! We're responsible for [part X] and we failed, so the project failed with us. Ta!".

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

15th February 2020. Not by myself.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

People you assemble are a cute intelligent bunch.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

I'll leave this blank note here as such a things does not exist.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

I carry regrets. I don't regret I regret them. Think: "meh, ok." and proceed to call emergency services as I don't want to die.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

Wallet and phone if it's not on me. It's such a hazard to get all those up and running again.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

A sister died and the death was extremely disturbing, upsetting and maddening. "been there, done the worst".

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

PerC. I'm well enough off but not good off. I've got about 15-25 years left to live (I'm 33), wtf should I do? I'm lost. It was exhausting getting where I am due failure after failure and other dysfunctionality causing these fucking failures everyone else does not struggle with.
If you pity me I'll bash you to death with my wheel-chair when I get one. Equally if you take a general simplistic approach, like "pull yourself up man".
[hr][/hr]
Mod of the week
Frankly my Dear
This week, the mod of the week award goes to Frankly my dear for her groundbreaking excavation of Dumat al-Jandal, Saudi Arabia. She uncovered the lost temple of Atarsamain, finding within it the seven sacred tablets that are said to summon the ancient god of uncertain gender. A small blemish on her work was formed by her overly enthusiastic re-enactment of the holy ritual, leading to the actual summoning of Atarsamain. A quick decision to challenge the Venusian God to single combat, and the choice of Magic: The Gathering as the battleground, provided for a swift, if unspectacular, victory. In short, for both providing fascinating historical insights and not dooming the Earth to eternal twilight, Frankly my dear is awarded the mod of the week award.
 

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Ah, there it is.
I can't believe you put all of that in one insanely long post. Nobody reads that far, lol.
 

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Are you feeling claustrophobic being stuck inside with your weird roommates, one of which appears to be a vampire and/or Jesus? Read this book and rejoice that at least you're not doing this exact thing in a spaceship hurtling towards alien life that defies understanding. Also features proper hard science and a deep dive into the nature and necessity of consciousness.
You wake in an agony of resurrection, gasping after a record-shattering bout of sleep apnea spanning one hundred forty days. You can feel your blood, syrupy with dobutamine and leuenkephalin, forcing its way through arteries shriveled by months on standby. The body inflates in painful increments: blood vessels dilate; flesh peels apart from flesh; ribs crack in your ears with sudden unaccustomed flexion. Your joints have seized up through disuse. You're a stick-man, frozen in some perverse rigor vitae.

You'd scream if you had the breath.

Vampires did this all the time, you remember. It was normal for them, it was their own unique take on resource conservation. They could have taught your kind a few things about restraint, if that absurd aversion to right-angles hadn't done them in at the dawn of civilization. Maybe they still can. They're back now, after all— raised from the grave with the voodoo of paleogenetics, stitched together from junk genes and fossil marrow steeped in the blood of sociopaths and high-functioning autistics. One of them commands this very mission. A handful of his genes live on in your own body so it too can rise from the dead, here at the edge of interstellar space. Nobody gets past Jupiter without becoming part vampire.

The pain begins, just slightly, to recede. You fire up your inlays and access your own vitals: it'll be long minutes before your body responds fully to motor commands, hours before it stops hurting. The pain's an unavoidable side effect. That's just what happens when you splice vampire subroutines into Human code. You asked about painkillers once, but nerve blocks of any kind compromise metabolic reactivation. Suck it up, soldier.

You wonder if this was how it felt for Chelsea, before the end. But that evokes a whole other kind of pain, so you block it out and concentrate on the life pushing its way back into your extremities. Suffering in silence, you check the logs for fresh telemetry.

You think: That can't be right.

Because if it is, you're in the wrong part of the universe. You're not in the Kuiper Belt where you belong: you're high above the ecliptic and deep into the Oort, the realm of long-period comets that only grace the sun every million years or so. You've gone interstellar, which means (you bring up the system clock) you've been undead for eighteen hundred days.

You've overslept by almost five years.

The lid of your coffin slides away. Your own cadaverous body reflects from the mirrored bulkhead opposite, a desiccated lungfish waiting for the rains. Bladders of isotonic saline cling to its limbs like engorged antiparasites, like the opposite of leeches. You remember the needles going in just before you shut down, way back when your veins were more than dry twisted filaments of beef jerky.

Szpindel's reflection stares back from his own pod to your immediate right. His face is as bloodless and skeletal as yours. His wide sunken eyes jiggle in their sockets as he reacquires his own links, sensory interfaces so massive that your own off-the-shelf inlays amount to shadow-puppetry in comparison.

You hear coughing and the rustling of limbs just past line-of-sight, catch glimpses of reflected motion where the others stir at the edge of vision.

"Wha—" Your voice is barely more than a hoarse whisper. "…happ…?"

Szpindel works his jaw. Bone cracks audibly.

"…Sssuckered," he hisses.

You haven't even met the aliens yet, and already they're running rings around you.




It's raunchy.
 

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Ah, there it is.
I can't believe you put all of that in one insanely long post. Nobody reads that far, lol.
Just too many bachelors

-which should come as no surprise
 

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Nice to read these questionnaire - gives me better insight on whom I’m communicating with on this forum. @Phil I was excited to read your answers and very meaningful and moving . Hugs *


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Nice to read these questionnaire - gives me better insight on whom I’m communicating with on this forum. @Phil I was excited to read your answers and very meaningful and moving . Hugs *


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:hugs: I loved your write ups too!
 
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Is the karaoke challenge still open?
Would like to see a dance challenge too sometime. XD
 

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I drive a blue tricycle with a gold bell.
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Discussion Starter #12
Notice that The PerChronicler edition 5 will be postponed 1 week. :)

Send me art and poems and submissions please :D
 

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Notice that The PerChronicler edition 5 will be postponed 1 week. :)

Send me art and poems and submissions please :D
It's been a week. I miss you, Dalek Sex Terminate.
What kind of submission do you like? *wink wink*
My creativity is pretty dry right now, but a little spanking works wonders.
 

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Also

wow that's really fucking true
Xntj
Where to find him- some forum discussing geopolitics , Skyrim , linkin, some tech forum

Typical date with an xntj - he will invite you out on Skype as the two of you play a game of truth or dare chess . The date will end with him telling you “every step you take I’ll be three moves ahead” despite the fact that you won the chess game

When it’s over - don’t worry so much about him- he still have his own soul mate - himself
 
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