I entertained similar ambitions when I was a child, though not in any realistic manner. I would indulge in wild flights of fancy in which I martyred myself to save the world. I was John Coffey in the Green Mile, or Jesus on the cross; curing, purging, eliminating misery and suffering. And all at the sake of my own life; a blissful sacrifice for the greater good.
I have subsequently experienced some thirty-odd years of existence, traveled much of the globe, and dabbled in a number of philosophical systems. My conclusion? There is the way the world is, and there is the way the world could be, but there is no way that the world should be. The world is always, at any given time, as it should be. It cannot be otherwise.
I lost my human-centric world view and the cosmos suddenly shifted; nations crumbled, borders dissolved into the soil, society ceased to have any absolute existence, and the word human came to take on a far broader definition. It is a cosmic farce; the actors, the stage, the props, enacted over and over into perpetuity. Wipe out thousands of people and it's genocide, thousands of chickens, dinner. And thousands of insects? Not even worth considering. Smugly ignorant hypocrisy on a grand scale.
And now? An individual revolt. A leading by example. A passively benevolent embrace. I am becoming Maude, and she says it far better than I ever could:
Maude:That's my umbrella. That's just a relic. I found it when I was packing to come to America. It used to be my defense on picket lines and rallies and political meetings, being dragged off by the police and attacked by thugs of the opposition.
Harold: What were you fighting for?
Maude: Oh, big issues. Liberty, rights, justice. Kings died, kingdoms fell. I don't regret the kingdom. What sense in borders and nations and patriotism? But I miss the kings....
Harold: So...you don't use the umbrella any more. No more revolts?
Maude: Oh, yes. Every day...but... I don't need a defense any more, I embrace. Still fighting for the big issues, but now in my small, individual way.