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Social Pyromaniac
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INTJs and INTPs can appear very similar. Even though they share no cognitive functions, they share similar interests and traits. They sell metaphorical crack on the same proverbial corner.

It's also a little know fact that both types are secretly races of lizard people. That's right: motherfucking lizard people.

This is where things get tricky.

INTPs are secretly a race of subterranean lizard people native to Earth.

INTJs are secretly a race of extraterrestrial lizard people (Reptoids) who have invaded Earth and implemented an Illuminati-like organization under which all governments are puppets.

This is also why there is such competition between the two types. Most people think it's because they're both self-aggrandized nerds with huge egos and the emotional maturity of 12-year-olds. Wrong. It's because Subterranean-Lizard-People (INTPs) are highly territorial and have been engaged in war with the Extraterrestrial Reptoids (INTJs) for the last 3,000 years.

Socially and culturally, they are entirely different.

Subterranean-Lizard-People communicate entirely with tongue-flicks and pheromones released from glands under their armpits. INTPs smell bad because they have bad hygiene. Right? Wrong. They're actually calling for re-enforcements. In their natural form they have no spoken language. This is the real reason why INTPs are so quiet and why they're awkward as fuck when they do speak.

Reptoids communicate entirely with telepathy. This is the real reason why INTJs are so quiet and are awkward as fuck when they do speak. This also how the INTJ Reptoids communicate with the Great Queen Skink who resides on their home world of Scleroglossanomicon IV, an undiscovered planet somewhere in the Draco constellation.

The Great Queen Skink is all-knowing. And because of their telepathic connection to her, INTJs are also all-knowing and are right about everything. Always. And if they weren't they would never say so.

Their secret society meetings are remarkably similar. Both meet in secret torch-lit chambers with a Pentagram and goat-head motif, wear big hooded robes, take part in blood-orgies, infant sacrifices, and have scantily clad slave girls waving palm fronds with big bowls of fruit. You know, standard secret society stuff.

IMPORTANT DISTINCTION:
INTP lizard people wear red robes
INTJ lizard people wear black robes

And if you still mix us up, I will dislocate my jaw and eat your fucking face

Also, the INTP Subterranean-Lizard-People have recently enslaved the INFPs (INFPs are secretly a race of mole-people) to build an interstellar missile which will blow up Scleroglossanomicon IV, killing the Great Queen Skink. Without their telepathic connection to the Great Queen Skink the INTJ Reptoids will be totally disoriented and be driven insane before all of their heads explode simultaneously.

There will be much blood-orgy-ing. (That's an actual word in our language, except we call it "hiss-thh-thh-hiss*gaseous onslaught of pheromones*)

But, the INTJ Reptoids already know this because they know everything. So they borrowed a genetically engineered alien virus from the INFJs (INFJs are secretly Grey Aliens). And in a series of events that bears no similarity to The X-Files movie, the virus looks just oil and will infect the INTP Lizard people and take over their bodies before killing them.

That's the difference between INTPs and INTJs.

 

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I take it you've seen the newest of Doctor Who episodes?
 

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I'm a combination of both. Therefor, I'm at war with myself?

That explains why I feel liek there are two parts of my inner me fighting.
 
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