[KJ52]

An INFJ that I've forever had an interest in has seemed to do a bit of a change up. I was wondering if this was typical when moving from a friendship to a romantic relationship.

Before, I heard from him every few days and he seemed to hold back a little as far as being too open about what he was thinking.

The last couple of weeks, he's allowed me to do more to help him (even though he is normally extremely independent). He has called me nearly every day and has been very sweet in his communication.

Is this switch because he's feeling a little more comfortable in the relationship or will this eventually lead to a withdraw because of this sudden onset of a little more extroversion. I've loved it...I just don't want to revert back. I feel like so much progress has been made.

Suggestions on how I can encourage this type of thing moving forward and keep up the momentum?

 

[ShadowPlay]

This sounds tricky because he could be opening up to you more as a friend, as in a good friend.
I think your INFJ's would probably know if you had an interest in him, especially if you've been around for a while.

The few INFJ males I know can get quite flirtatious in a safe environment, and it's not 'sweet' by any means. More of an overt sexual banter, think puns and hidden meanings that are said purposely to shock and excite you.

I'm guessing he won't make a move on you unless:
- he knows you are serious about forming a relationship and he's serious about forming a relationship
- or, he knows he won't hurt you (ie, if neither of you are serious about forming a relationship)

He might pull away if he's not on the same level as you and he doesn't want to hurt you.
INFJ's generally don't want to hurt anyone (unless they're going through a destructive phase).
We take our relationships very seriously.
If he is in a destructive phase, run for the hills.

There, I've done my best to explain, keeping in mind that there's quite a chance that I might be wrong because everyone's different.

As for keeping up the momentum, if you are interested, I'm not sure.
Telling him how you feel might make him pull away, but I wouldn't recommend hiding your feeling from him.
Maybe some of you INFJ males can log in on this one?

 

[LiteratureNerd]

I can't speak for him, but I normally don't allow people to help me out unless a) I really REALLY need it, and b) I seriously trust/am comfortable with that person. And if I actually start to confide in someone about my personal life/thoughts/feelings/whatever, it means I think very highly of them.

As far as flirting goes, I personally suck at it to the point where it gets comical. But I do indeed go for sexual with my boyfriend when I'm feeling a bit frisky. The truth is, "sweet" is generally my default with him. I don't mean that I "act sweet"...I'm just sort of like that. Being with him for the past 2 1/2 years has kind of brought out that inner mush ball that IS my core.

I can't remember - are the two of you already dating a little bit, or have you just been friends?

 

[Arclight]

I think INFJs are like matryoshka dolls with a marshmallow in the middle..

To me.. this guy has removed one of the outer shells and let you get closer to the gooey sweet center of things.

 

[KJ52]

I can't remember - are the two of you already dating a little bit, or have you just been friends?

We've been friends for years. However, it just recently turned romantic within the last few weeks (I've wanted this for years and I think, to an extent, so has he). We haven't given whatever this is a title...it just sort of evolved after spending time together. From what I've heard, that is a INFJ thing...to let it evolve and not have to put it in a specific compartment. So, I haven't really asked and I'm content with things the way they are. Someone mentioned before that it sounds as if he's already committed, but I don't let myself assume anything. I don't plan on assuming that it's not committed either (from my end, anyway).

 

[LiteratureNerd]

Yeah, I'm in the same boat, where my relationship sort of just developed naturally. I didn't really know we were "official" until he introduced me as his girlfriend a few months later. I was always too shy to bring up that conversation.

I'd take this opening up as a good sign, so enjoy it and make sure he knows how much you enjoy it. An INFJ is less likely to retreat when they're sure that exposing their gooey center makes the other person happy. At least this INFJ is.