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The road to unity; through duality or solitude?

1375 Views 14 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  Crimson Ash
Where to begin...

Well, a while ago I came across a very interesting article regarding numerology. The numerology part was not what caught my attention, but rather a part about love, duality and unity. Most people spend their lives making a career, finding a partner and creating their offspring. This is necessary to make the world develop and keeping humanity alive.

As an INFP emneagram 4, I was caught between the desire to be free and independent, and to be loved, hopelessly and romantically. Watching romantic movies, creating love stories in my head, being among couples, all this causes a four to feel even more lonely, envious and depressed.

This was a while ago, while I was a very unhealthy individual. for the past year only I have developed to be a much more healthy individual. Its hard for me to tell exactly which type I am since I have many different personality traits from different types. After spending much time alone, charging my batteries and avoiding all romantic crap, I realized I no longer thought about romantic love. I was solitary, but I wasn't lonely. I felt free and independent. I realized then, that what I was searching for was unity. Within myself, to be as complete as possible. Without another person, without religion, just by myself.

We spend our whole lives stealing energy from eachother. That is why we fall in love, because our energy corresponds with somebody elses. Two different energies meet and create unity. As these energies develop, they will need other energies to continue on their path to unity, and to get rid of the old one. Some may never find what they are looking for, perhaps they are looking in the wrong place. They feel incomplete and desperately try everything to fill the emptiness within themselves.

I realized almost all of my friends who have or have had relationships tend to hold on to them even though they are unhealthy, or they tend to jump from relationship to relationship. It becomes so obvious that what they need is to search within themselves, but unfortunetly many of them are unable to deal with solitude, which I think is necessary to find your true self.

What the article then said, was that these energies, these relationships are only a help on the way to unity within yourself.

I must admit I enjoyed this idea, as I am a person of solitude and I have chosen to stay there. I have so much love to give to the world instead of spending all my energy on one person. I have never been in love. I love, but I've never been in love. I always manage to rationalize the feelings and then "overcome" nature, and then I go back to solitude. But of course, the world wouldn't exist without reproduction and partnerships.

What do you think of this?
Are you addicted to relationships or other people?
Or are you addicted to solitude and freedom?
Why do you feel that way, what is the reason behind your feelings/choice?

This became rather messy, but thoughts, questions and comments are highly appreciated, from any type!
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I have contemplated this many times in my life. The only conclusion I seem to have had is that it requires a healthy mix of both to work properly.

I have an interesting analogy that I developed, which borrows from the glass is half empty and glass is half full perspective.

Think of the glass as your being and the water as your life. The water contains all the good, the bad, the troubles, the sadness, the happiness everything you have lived and experienced. Within this glass is your life energy essentially.

Now a person who is comfortable with their own solitude and accepts the good with the bad yet still carry's on with their lives will have a very clean and pure water. Not because it is clean and pure but because they choose to make it so by accepting the bad but working on the good.

A person who is not so comfortable with their solitude has a very dark and dispassionate water within their glass. They seek out people to pour their water into and gain the water of that other person. Now when this unhealthy person meets a more healthier person initially the relationship works out. Usually because the healthier individual is more than willing to share his/her water with the other person. But over time due to this sharing the more pure water is slowly corrupted by the more darker one because not only is this person giving it up but they are also not working to maintain their own as pure because of the burden of handling the impure.

In the meantime the other person is not working on their own happiness and continues to borrow from the other person until such time where either they collectively end up corrupting each other or they break apart.

Now for the duality to work, essentially both glasses need to have a clean and pure water, irrespective of past experiences, troubles and pains both persons must be able and willing to work on them alone and by themselves. The key here is to have someone who is willing and able to pour their water into the other persons glass and for that person to do the same when at a difficult situation in life. If both are in a difficult situation together they must collectively be able to work on it together to the benefit of both.

Ideally the theory might seem good but reality is quite harsh. There are so many overriding factors whether it be environment, social, beliefs or the simple fact that the pain someone has suffered in life is overwhelming and they are unable to bear it on their own. That being said it is still up to the person to make the decision of wanting to change for the better and working towards it or waiting to be changed for the better. One has to think which will be more beneficial to oneself in the long term.

wanting or waiting?
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