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The Science of Dating

412 Views 8 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  ShushFox
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Well, people like to feel emotions, whether good or bad, we feel emotions, that's why we're hooked with emotions.

That is why, not only women but people in general (men who complain about these kinds of things just don't realise it applies to themselves too), would not prefer a guy who is boring and dull even though he is nice, but a guy who makes you feel all sort of things, even if sometimes he makes you feel good and sometimes he makes you feel bad, because he makes you feel emotions, and that's what we want at the end of the day, emotions.

We want that emotional variety. And for that, we are willing to tolerate the bad and even enjoy the bad, as long as there is good to compensate it.

That's why smoking and alcohool exist. Men complain about women not wanting nice and dull and boring men (the nice guy TM) but at the same time they don't fancy a salad.

Yeah, salad is good, it's healthy for you, but at the same time, there's not much there.

This is why teasing works and is a thing. Not only with lovers but with friends as well.

Isn't it weird the paradox of teasing? something that is supposed to make you feel bad makes you fell good? even insulting you makes you feel good?

Because at the end of the day you feel emotions, a mix of emotions, and that's what teasing is about. There's a mix there: you're either annoyed, ragerly desperate, angry that outplayed, humiliated, made fun of, etc, but it's also funny, it's also a pleasant feeling like "yeah, good one". You can't help but notice and laugh at the humor.

This is why teasing works, because there's some mix of emotions there, there's some bad and some good.

I would make the case that although very similar, teasing is not the same as bullying.

Teasing - must always have good intent behind them and the focus must be on being funny.

Bullying - it's outright cruel.

It or them, meaning the joke, must always have a good intent behind it, and the focus of it should always be on being funny, as funny as possible. Otherwise it's outright cruel. So it's not the same.

And I think this, call it "mix of emotions" theory if you will, explains a lot of the relationship dynamics.
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