Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 40 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
376 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hello there lads,

Just recently I've found PersonalityCafe and I'm really enjoying it. It's very interesting to study both the similarities and differences that ISTP's have as well as other types.

Lets get down to the point, really.. From what I dug up from this board and other articles on ISTP's is that we require a lot of time alone in order to process our thoughts and give them a place somewhere in our brain.

It shouldn't be a surprise that ISTP's can have a high level of intelligence and can solve things on the fly as problems emerge. It comes at a price though.. We prefer rather not to have social contact with others that often.

My question goes as following: "Are ISTP's most likely to be (or become) social outcast in the society of the modern world?". I'm no expert in the exact details of every type, that's why I'm asking you lads if you can answer this question.

I found a fitting picture too:

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,144 Posts
Hello there lads,

Just recently I've found PersonalityCafe and I'm really enjoying it. It's very interesting to study both the similarities and differences that ISTP's have as well as other types.

Lets get down to the point, really.. From what I dug up from this board and other articles on ISTP's is that we require a lot of time alone in order to process our thoughts and give them a place somewhere in our brain.

It shouldn't be a surprise that ISTP's can have a high level of intelligence and can solve things on the fly as problems emerge. It comes at a price though.. We prefer rather not to have social contact with others that often.

My question goes as following: "Are ISTP's most likely to be (or become) social outcast in the society of the modern world?". I'm no expert in the exact details of every type, that's why I'm asking you lads if you can answer this question.

I found a fitting picture too:

As a type that takes the most efficient route, every time... Yes. We will definitely turn into that weird loner as the world becomes more reliant on technology. We don't need to socialize much at all, and when we do, we can get it from the internet. This is my problem right now. Everything I need in terms of knowledge and human connection can be obtained online. So going outside seems inefficient.

I honestly don't know how I have friends. They just sort of come to me...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
376 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
As a type that takes the most efficient route, every time... Yes. We will definitely turn into that weird loner as the world becomes more reliant on technology. We don't need to socialize much at all, and when we do, we can get it from the internet. This is my problem right now. Everything I need in terms of knowledge and human connection can be obtained online. So going outside seems inefficient.

I honestly don't know how I have friends. They just sort of come to me...
I just know what you mean very well! I'm not a depressed person, but it's quite obvious that the (social) world is in decay because of technology and because the society is leaping towards it. Are we ISTP's the only people that notice that there's something going wrong these days?... It seems that things used to be way better 60 years ago, where civilisation/society wasn't as individualistic as they are right now.

Back on topic though; according to you, the answer on my question is yes.. right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
235 Posts
Hello there lads,

Just recently I've found PersonalityCafe and I'm really enjoying it. It's very interesting to study both the similarities and differences that ISTP's have as well as other types.

Lets get down to the point, really.. From what I dug up from this board and other articles on ISTP's is that we require a lot of time alone in order to process our thoughts and give them a place somewhere in our brain.

It shouldn't be a surprise that ISTP's can have a high level of intelligence and can solve things on the fly as problems emerge. It comes at a price though.. We prefer rather not to have social contact with others that often.

My question goes as following: "Are ISTP's most likely to be (or become) social outcast in the society of the modern world?". I'm no expert in the exact details of every type, that's why I'm asking you lads if you can answer this question.

I found a fitting picture too:

The term "social outcast" and the status that it implies is only defined by your company/social group. Find the right people, and you will always be at home. I would argue that our problem is that society can't deal with us, rather than us being "weird".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,628 Posts
My social needs are completely fullfilled by my husband, son, coworkers, and internet cohorts. I have minimal need for friends, in fact, the time it takes to invest in a IRL friendship is a bit exhausting. Most activities I would rather pursue alone, and I don't like anyone quite so well as my husband. The times I actually want to talk to people indepth, are usually times when I'm deeply introverting on a topic, and since I'm quite uncomfortable opening up that much to a friend, I'd rather do it with internet strangers whom I can walk away from at any time
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
376 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
I don't "become" a social outcast, I am one.
In a new social environment I become the outcast within minutes.
Personally, I have a history of being a social outcast. I started this thread to see if I'm not the only ISTP and how others think about this. In the end, we always come off as being odd and end up as social outcasts. I think people judge us way too quickly and easily see us as coldhearted or not interesting which leads to exclusion from a group.

Apart from that, I know that feeling when you won't be able to fit in a new environment very well.. No matter how I hard I try to fit with the "popular" and "successful".. it just doesn't work..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,225 Posts
For most my friends, if anything, I'm a support pillar that jumps in when a crisis arises. Other than that I don't get much out of friendships other than having helped someone in need out (I'm such a nice guy, ain't I!) - then again, that's all I really need/want - my personal issues aren't anyones business but my own.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,750 Posts
I suck at making friends because there is an element of romanticisation which is needed to make it initially work; you have to smile, pretend that you are genuinely interested and go out of your way (i.e. pick up the phone) to make contact with them, even if they bore the shit out of you. At the end of the day, it is scary how easy it is to 'pretend', to put a big smile on your face and act like you are the life and soul of the party - on the flipside to that however, it's not like you aren't going to make anymore real friends. People are going to like the person you're pretending to be, not who you really are (i.e. someone who prefers to keep to themself).

I'm a loner because I don't see the point in investing in a shallow relationship which means nothing to me; as a person, I am fucking weird and there are so few people in this world who genuinely get that, so why try? I also suffer mildly from social anxiety. Pretty much every close relationship I've had in the past has wound up with me getting fucked over, so meh, I guess I've just learnt to live without other people.

At the end of the day, I'm the kind of person who is perfectly happy just so long as there is one person in the world who gets me, one person who I can say whatever weird shit which pops in my head to. I haven't had that for about a year and a half now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,688 Posts
No one really knows about me in the town I live it. My friends will talk about me at the highschool, so I'll meet people and they'll be like, "Oh, you're the (Italian, black belt, fighter) chick so-and-so was talking about."

I've almost given up trying to put my self out there. My best friend is moving next month. Hello, TI-Ni Loop.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
376 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
Yeah I usually gravitated to people who were considered outcasts, usually they are more interesting than run of the mill folks
That happens to me as well. No matter how hard we try to seek social acceptance of others, we will always fall in place with people who have the same interests and somewhat the same type..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
354 Posts
Other than that I don't get much out of friendships other than having helped someone in need out- then again, that's all I really need/want - my personal issues aren't anyones business but my own.
Heh. I remember posting this on xanga in high school. All of my feeler aquaintences were shocked and totally thought I hated them. It still makes me laugh to think about the difference in perspective.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
235 Posts
Personally, I have a history of being a social outcast. I started this thread to see if I'm not the only ISTP and how others think about this. In the end, we always come off as being odd and end up as social outcasts. I think people judge us way too quickly and easily see us as coldhearted or not interesting which leads to exclusion from a group.

Apart from that, I know that feeling when you won't be able to fit in a new environment very well.. No matter how I hard I try to fit with the "popular" and "successful".. it just doesn't work..
That's because society is modelled on ExFJ personalities (apologies if I'm generalising!), and we are never going to be like that, so we shouldn't even try to "fit in"! Even though most people find our lack of outward emotion a rejection of them, there are those who actually value our ISTP traits, such as logical thinking and problem solving. Find those people, and you will create long-lasting friendship, if you have a need for it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,713 Posts
Being the "social outcast" stretches across all types. It's really just a reflection of hanging out with the wrong crowds. If you don't conform, find a group where you do fit in.
 
  • Like
Reactions: U-80

·
Registered
Joined
·
376 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
That's because society is modelled on ExFJ personalities (apologies if I'm generalising!), and we are never going to be like that, so we shouldn't even try to "fit in"! Even though most people find our lack of outward emotion a rejection of them, there are those who actually value our ISTP traits, such as logical thinking and problem solving. Find those people, and you will create long-lasting friendship, if you have a need for it.
Your answer is very inspiring! I know that there are people out there who do recognize our abilities, but it's so hard to come across them. I think you've just made me realise that I might be looking in the wrong fashion, not being able to find them properly. I do have a few introvert friends, and we are quite close when we are together.

Being the "social outcast" stretches across all types. It's really just a reflection of hanging out with the wrong crowds. If you don't conform, find a group where you do fit in.
It's not always that easy, there are some complications in some moments..



I want to know your opinion on people who are afraid to talk to one another because it might damage their image..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
406 Posts
I am not an ISTP, but feeling like an outcast seems to be not uncommon among we INTP's as well, from what I've gathered. Speaking for myself, I can't say that I've ever experienced this. For me, the word connotes an affirmative judgment that the judged (or outcast, in this case) is to be excluded and held in contemptuous regard—active rejection with antecedent intentionality.

To be honest, I've never felt connected enough . . . present enough, really, to appear on the figurative rejection radar. Connection is a funny thing. It seems so simple and readily accessible to others, and yet it invariably eludes me. Even among the few friends I've had in life, I've always noted the conspicuous absence of mutuality in a way that's difficult to pinpoint, much less describe. I guess I've never felt invested in relationships with other people.

Some years ago, this occurred to me in a moment of stark, spontaneous realization; during the course of a conversation with a friend, he referred to me as his “best friend.” I felt a mixture of surprise, bewilderment, and guilt. In retrospect, I think this originated from the understanding that, while as a matter of fact, I considered him to be my “best friend,” too, I would have felt inauthentic expressing as much (on more than one level: not only by communicating this to him, but also admitting this to myself). I was still aware of such a distance between us that it seemed an inappropriate characterization of the relationship. And yet here was my friend, an INTJ who never displayed overt emotionality of the sort evinced by his revelation, informing me that I was an important of his life. Surely reciprocity was warranted . . . ? I'm sort of going into rambling mode now. One thought I'd like to end on is that, presumably, my friend did not experience a similar feeling of disconnection. Perhaps I have some unresolved subconscious issues? Do I apply a label of “disconnection” although what I get out of relationships is not experientially different from those [experiences] of other participants?


. . . Lol

In scanning over this in post preview, I couldn't help but notice my choice of language in the last paragraph: “the relationship,” instead of “our relationship.” That was not deliberate.
 
1 - 20 of 40 Posts
Top