Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 35 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
After a LOT of introspection, I don't think I'm a dom 8. I don't know much more than that, except that I don't see dom 6 fitting either. I'm don't think I'm a dom 3. I also discovered that I'm a slightly introverted ambivert, judging by my entire life.

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

I live for the future. Future possibilities and opportunities drive me forward. The present is spent setting up for the future. When the future gets here, it's spent setting up for more future. The only other thing I live for is mental gratification. Learning things is my "porn", and I routinely waste 6 hours at a time doing things other than my online telecom exam (which I should be taking, but this is much more interesting).

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I hope to reach a point where I have so much wealth and power that I can simply throw money and/or power at all my problems so I can do what I want all the time. That might well be reading for 8 hours a day.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

An idiot. That stupid person that never seems to know what to do with their life, and fails at whatever they do. That's pretty much what I don't want to be.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

Realistically, embarrassment is probably my #1 fear, but not just any kind of embarrassment. I'll get some detail wrong and be slightly embarrassed, but that's not as big of a deal. If I do something incredibly stupid and it becomes well known, that's my greatest fear.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want others to see me as smart (read "smarter than them"), and I usually succeed at this. If everyone thinks I'm very smart, I have some level of power and influence. To those people that I can't gain power that way, I shift to competency. I try to be so good at something that I can get by on specialized knowledge. I'd also like to be seen as "regular", so I don't stand out too much. I'd be a quiet genius, if I were one. I search for people who might understand me, and the first hurdle they must overcome is seeing that my "normal" facade is not the real me.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

I feel at my best when I shred somebody with logic in debate. That's probably the best feeling; showing the world that this person did not think through their argument, and that I did, thus proving that they don't think as well as I do (logically fallacious conclusion, but it's hard-wired, so I can't help it).

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

I blow up when angry. I'm a major dick when I'm mad. I also have an additional level of angry that's much like Liam Neeson from "Taken"; the kind that burns your house down. During that kind of anger, I disappear for 3 days while I decide how best to ruin the life of whoever I'm angry at.

Shame- I withdraw. I usually never go back to whatever caused the shame.

Anxiety- I study whatever's causing me to be anxious. If I'm anxious, it's usually because I don't know something that I think I should.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

Stress: I try my best to ignore it. I also use it as a shield so I can make everyone else leave me the hell alone. I tell people I'm stressed all the time so I won't have to comply with their norms of social interaction (talking every day, etc). I take even my friends in doses. My family thinks I live in a cave. I just don't want to talk to them all the time; is that such a big deal? lol

Unexpected change is usually bad, but that's not a hard rule. Good change is an unexpected surprise. I try to insulate myself with enough plans that bad change will have been foreseen.

I have a love/hate relationship with conflict. I used to hate it, now I love it. I hated it as a kid because I felt like I was always helpless during conflict. Now I tend to like it because I can shred someone else, which makes me feel good. That's about the long and short of it.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

Authority is not inherently bad. They usually have power, and I'll influence them for my benefit if I can. I don't inherently distrust authority; I see authority figures just like anyone else. They're people; the difference is that whatever they do affects me more than what other people do.

I like power. In fact, this is what I'm really after. Raw power to do whatever I want.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Life is a great thing. I enjoy living. Humanity is a tad bit irrational, but I suppose they're alright. I wish I could learn more about life and the complexities of human behavior, but there's only so much we know.

Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

I'm going to go with bad breakup/death of father, which both happened at once. This was right before freshman year of college. I entrenched myself in my dorm room for 8 months, only leaving to go to class, shower, and get food. I knew I had to change myself if I was going to make a successful transition to college, so I did. I decided to be more extroverted and to actually use my talents instead of just sitting on them and fearing failure or inadequacy. I got out, started doing things, and became quite successful.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

I'm fine with it, I suppose. I know what I can trust others with. I tell people very little while listening a lot, so I try to always have the upper hand in the "secrets" battle in all my relationships. I want the ability to hurt the other person more than they could possibly hurt me if something goes wrong. As far as the statement "just trust me" goes, I don't usually respond well to that statement if there is something serious on the line.

The other thing I do is always be consciously aware that things could happen. I know that a person can screw me over, so I don't let myself become attached to people. I can know them, be very good friends, and still be able to leave tomorrow and never speak to them again. It's pretty normal; I don't feel like my life has suffered because of this. I've always been that way with everyone with a very few exceptions.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

I like my intelligence. I like the fact that I seem to think more deeply about everything than others do (all the time sitting around just thinking has an effect). I like that I'm good at specific things. I like my effectiveness, overall.

I don't like that I'm more insecure than I let on, which is something that's very tough for me to admit. I always bury this insecurity with competence, but it's still there. I just keep shoveling in knowledge and power and being good at things until it's gone. I get insecure because I "don't think I'm as good as I think I am" so to speak, so I strive to be better at what I think I'm good at to cover that insecurity.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

A lot of things, apparently. I watch a lot of behavior, and I've become good at picking out liars and bad intentions. I can also pick out good intentions. Peoples' actions betray their mind. Edit: This is the reason I've gotten into personality typing. I want to walk into things with the upper hand, and that can be accomplished by knowing more about the other person than the other person knows about me.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

I feel good if I'm complimented. I feel bad if I'm insulted. There's really not much more to it than that. If I get an insult, I try to get to the bottom of whatever caused the insult. If it was the other person, I write it off. If it was me somehow, I try to figure out why my actions/self are drawing negative reactions from others. This usually takes quite a bit of introspection.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

I'm thankful I have my mind. I'm thankful I have the internet. I wish I had a better internet connection. I wish I had infinite money, especially. That'd be nice. lol


So... thoughts?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Coburn and Sina

·
Ace of Spades
7w6 4w3 1w9 sp/so; Ni/Ne/Te-dom
Joined
·
3,255 Posts
Can you please fully elaborate on why you are "definitely not a dom 3" because to me, that's what stood out most.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
6,856 Posts
I agree with @Spades. Most of what I'm reading is three-dom.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Spades

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I'll hit shame and anxiety. Sorry.

Edit: fixed
 
  • Like
Reactions: n2freedom

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Since I'm not 100% sure I'm not a 3, I'll take that out.

I don't think I'm a 3 because I'm not going for recognition or approval. I'd be a nobody as long as I were rich as shit. lol. I want money/power to make sure that I will never be in need, and that I will always have the power to deal with anything that comes at me.

I also don't think I'm a 3 because i was pretty shy as a kid. I went through an extrovert phase in college, but I'm pretty sure I'm introverted. I haven't left my house in 4 days as I'm typing this, and I'm perfectly cool with that. I never really had any interest in interacting with the outside world except for in a select few scenarios. I usually just wanted to go do whatever I wanted to go do. Usually read or play video games. I played football and soccer, but that's mainly because I enjoyed physical activity. I was the quiet one in the locker room. I didn't think introverted type 3 was all that common.

Addendum: I'd like to edit my fear. The fear I listed, mass humiliation, is a big one. Equally as big is the fear of inadequacy- not being capable enough to handle circumstances. The "next step" has always been a fear of mine, because I've always been unsure of my ability to handle new things, or new demands. I take a while to transition when things change.

I feel these fears are tied. If I can't handle what I get into, I'll suck. If I suck, my persona of being the smart one will be broken, and I won't be able to maintain my upper hand over everyone. My whole facade would fall apart and be ineffective. I am obsessed with being in a superior position. I REALLY HATE being in an inferior position.

Edit: I want respect, not necessarily approval. I want people to respect me and my ability. If people respect me, they're less likely to mess with me or jerk me around. I hate being messed with and/or jerked around. I probably should have put that in there somewhere... However, that's a problem that could be solved with infinite money.

If respect is not an option, I'd rather have people fear me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,683 Posts
@Sovereign So you don't want to be rich to impress anyone or for "success" purposes; for you it's about security and the ability to do for yourself without having to rely on anyone else?

I'm picking up a lot of 1...1w9 I'm thinking.

However, I also see a lot of 8w7, especially this part in regard to you making yourself seem like a "normal" guy and your ability to read people and intentions...

"Highly integrated 8/7 finds that when dominance is a choice (and eight integrates to two), one can choose to be kind and gentle, using power constructively instead of combatively. Seven integrates to five, and impulsive action is replaced by considered, perceptive understanding, making rash actions unnecessary. A person who may have been unpolished, rude, and rough becomes a sophisticated judge of situations, intuitively in touch with the flow of human interaction. This new perception makes options available that were previously inconceivable."

Although I see 8w9 as well because of your need to dominate, but also withdraw.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,540 Posts
@Sovereign

This is funny:D. I didn't know you had started this thread. I just PM'd a member to discuss faith and morality with you, from an 8 perspective.

I'll have a look at your questionnaire.

Done reading. You definitely have a 6w5 fix. I will have to address your "why I am not a 3" part, in depth, when I have time. You also have an 8w9 fix, for sure.

I'd like you to read the 6,3 and 8 descriptions here:

-http://typewatchenneagram.blogspot.in/2011/06/typewatch-enneagram-type-descriptions.html

and

-http://ocean-moonshine.net/e142857369/


and

-http://www.claudionaranjo.net/pdf_files/personality/character_neurosis_intro_english.pdf
(this is a longer piece; it's an overview of the Types from naranjo's [among the founding theorists of the Enneagram] book)


Also, I am a 3. Despite my dazzling 'zomg I want to be famous' deal that began sometime in childhood, at this point, I care most about money, wealth and power. I demand respect and enjoy admiration, but amassing wealth and making substantial career progress (linked to power and influence) means more to me than being the object of everyone's admiration. I will any day pick respect over admiration. Respect is key. Admiration is just fun stuff.

Being sp first changes the dynamics in a major way. An sp 3 is not all that in tune with where they stand as far as external validation in the form of 'adulation' and 'approval' goes. Your fear of humiliation and incompetence are rooted in shame, not anger (type 8). You may be an angry person, and so am I btw. I call rage my "fuel", the driving force in my life. It doesn't, however, make me a core 8. My greatest fear isn't loss of autonomy; it's Large SCALE humiliating failure that will bring me down to my knees (off my throne) and turn me into an incompetent nobody.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
17,781 Posts
@Sovereign
I can't be sure, but I'm actually seeing core 7w8.
INTJ 7w8>3w?>8w9 Sp/So

alternatively I could see
- 3 first
- 3 first with a 5w6 fix (I see more 5w6 than I do 6w5)

a few questions
- do you consider yourself competitive? how much weight do you put in being the best?
- do you have a tendency to compare yourself with others? or are you just focused on getting a bunch of shit?
- are you a continuous workaholic or do you alternate between workaholic and periods of relaxation/hedonism/unnecessary research?
- how intense are you? are you more light hearted, but with intense undertones or are you consistently very intense?

@Boss
it makes sense that you would say that. admiration is actually more of a 2 desire than a 3 desire (and lord knows you ain't a 2 lol)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sina

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
a few questions
- do you consider yourself competitive? how much weight do you put in being the best?
Low effort there. Being the best is great, but decreasing returns ensue when you get closer to the top. Also, I let people win at things a lot, because I legit don't care. I can get competitive every now and then, but it's usually if I'm part of a team and we're working together to win something.

- do you have a tendency to compare yourself with others? or are you just focused on getting a bunch of shit?
I don't compare myself to others often. I compare myself with my own expectations of me a lot. I'm definitely focused on getting a bunch of shit. lol

- are you a continuous workaholic or do you alternate between workaholic and periods of relaxation/hedonism/unnecessary research?
That second one, big time. That was part of my realization; how much time I waste a day thinking and not doing.

- how intense are you? are you more light hearted, but with intense undertones or are you consistently very intense?
Too light-hearted to be an 8. I can be intense, but something sets it off. It's not my default.

I have 3 main modes; lighthearted, detached, and intense. Intense has come out more lately, but lighthearted and detached usually rule.

By detached, I mean that I could go interview Bin Laden or a serial murderer with no qualms. Detached enough that nothing can goad me into emotions. I just watch and listen, then provide objective output.

Lighthearted mode is playful. I like to mess with people. Crack jokes (I do it a lot). Make plays on words. Make people laugh because it's fun. And because humor is THE BEST deflection tool.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
17,781 Posts
Low effort there. Being the best is great, but decreasing returns ensue when you get closer to the top. Also, I let people win at things a lot, because I legit don't care. I can get competitive every now and then, but it's usually if I'm part of a team and we're working together to win something.



I don't compare myself to others often. I compare myself with my own expectations of me a lot. I'm definitely focused on getting a bunch of shit. lol



That second one, big time. That was part of my realization; how much time I waste a day thinking and not doing.



Too light-hearted to be an 8. I can be intense, but something sets it off. It's not my default.

I have 3 main modes; lighthearted, detached, and intense. Intense has come out more lately, but lighthearted and detached usually rule.

By detached, I mean that I could go interview Bin Laden or a serial murderer with no qualms. Detached enough that nothing can goad me into emotions. I just watch and listen, then provide objective output.

Lighthearted mode is playful. I like to mess with people. Crack jokes (I do it a lot). Make plays on words. Make people laugh because it's fun. And because humor is THE BEST deflection tool.
based on this, welcome to the 7w8 club :cool:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
based on this, welcome to the 7w8 club :cool:
So where does the detached come from? Is that part of the type 7 package?

I've always related a lot to type 7, but I could never see it as a core for some reason. I almost need a 6/5 or 5/6 fix to explain a lot of my behavior to myself, and that all goes away if I'm 7.

Edit: It's easy for me to relate to the entire head triad. I can see the extreme type 5 intellectual curiosity/detached observer and stinginess/conservationism, the cp6 defensive structure building/desire for backup, and the 7 possibility orientation/experience motivation. I think I'm some sort of head triad monster.

Heart is definitely 3w2. I know it's a bit typist, but I find the descriptions of 4 repulsive.

Body could be 8 or 1. I'm aggressive, but only when it's justified. I kinda have a moral rule against being an aggressive dick, but that goes out the window under a lot of different circumstances. It makes it hard for me to tell.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Enfpleasantly

·
Banned
Joined
·
17,781 Posts
So where does the detached come from? Is that part of the type 7 package?
yes, for self preservation 7s (and most NTJs lol) when you described the lighthearted, intense and detached sides, it struck a chord with me personally =P (although I also have a much more feminine, poetic, sensual side, but that's more being an ENFP)

I've always related a lot to type 7, but I could never see it as a core for some reason. I almost need a 6/5 or 5/6 fix to explain a lot of my behavior to myself, and that all goes away if I'm 7.
- you could be a 7w6 with an 8 fix
- 7 integrates to 5
- most NTJs are at least somewhat 5w6/6w5-ish regardless of E type
- I honestly don't see a lot of 6 in you, I see self preservation and 5 (thus, you would be wary of outside threats, especially those outside your current comprehension, but I don't see much of 6)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
yes, for self preservation 7s (and most NTJs lol) when you described the lighthearted, intense and detached sides, it struck a chord with me personally =P (although I also have a much more feminine, poetic, sensual side, but that's more being an ENFP)


- you could be a 7w6 with an 8 fix
- 7 integrates to 5
- most NTJs are at least somewhat 5w6/6w5-ish regardless of E type
- I honestly don't see a lot of 6 in you, I see self preservation and 5 (thus, you would be wary of outside threats, especially those outside your current comprehension, but I don't see much of 6)
That's it then. I did a math-based analysis of the head types, and 6 came in least by far. I don't really relate to 6 nearly as much as 7 and 5.

I think you're right; I'm probably an Sp 7w8. That fits well. Sp could explain a lot of the ambiversion. If the world wasn't full of crap I'd like to avoid, I probably would be more extroverted overall.

I'd also like to mention that you're a badass. Thank you.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
17,781 Posts
That's it then. I did a math-based analysis of the head types, and 6 came in least by far. I don't really relate to 6 nearly as much as 7 and 5.
I think you're right; I'm probably an Sp 7w8. That fits well. Sp could explain a lot of the ambiversion. If the world wasn't full of crap I'd like to avoid, I probably would be more extroverted overall.
I'd also like to mention that you're a badass. Thank you.
this is a great description of Sp dom 7w8s
Self-Preservation Sevens

Getting Mine. In the average range, Self-Preservation Sevens are determined, energetic people, driven to make sure that their basic needs and comforts will always be met. Their attitudes and concerns tend to emphasize the practical and the material. (In the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara, "As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again!") They tend to be ambitious and work hard to insure that options will remain open to them.

Self-Preservation Sevens are also classic consumers. They enjoy shopping, traveling, and pampering themselves, making it their business to gather information about the potential sources of enjoyment (catalogues, movie listings, travel and restaurant guides). These Sevens are especially on the lookout for sales and bargains, and like discussing these matters with friends. ("I just found the most darling mugs at the Pottery Barn.") While they enjoy socializing, Self-Preservation Sevens fear developing dependencies on others and avoid having others depend on them.

Less healthy Self-Preservation Sevens can feel impatient and panicky when their needs are not quickly met. They often experience anxieties about the loss of comforts or of material support and easily feel deprived. (Fears about going hungry are not uncommon.) They can be extremely demanding and cranky when frustrated, expecting others to meet their needs as soon as they are expressed—or even sooner.

In the unhealthy range, Self-Preservation Sevens can be extremely thoughtless and relentless in pursuit of security needs. They aggressively go after whatever they believe will make them feel more secure or stave off their anxiety, and brook no interference. Reckless with their finances and resources, spending out of control or gambling, they can be even more profligate with their own health and inner resources. They push themselves beyond reasonable limits, eating, drinking, and indulging themselves to excess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
this is a great description of Sp dom 7w8s
The only thing I can't really relate to is reckless spending. I'm very good with money, but that's simply because I know I need to conserve it so I won't go hungry, so to speak. I have always been good with money because of that basic fear. I'm surprised more 7s aren't money-hoarders instead of money-wasters. lol
 
  • Like
Reactions: Swordsman of Mana

·
Banned
Joined
·
17,781 Posts
The only thing I can't really relate to is reckless spending. I'm very good with money, but that's simply because I know I need to conserve it so I won't go hungry, so to speak. I have always been good with money because of that basic fear. I'm surprised more 7s aren't money-hoarders instead of money-wasters. lol
Sp dom 7s aren't reckless with money either. they take "controlled risks" and are spontaneous when they can be, but not at the expense of their well being (ie they're not going to be like the stereotypical 7 and blow their money on beer when they need it for rent).
I'm willing to work my ass off short term and make a lot of short term sacrifices to get what I want long term, but I still struggle with focus, especially now between jobs when I don't have a plan for anything =(
long term though, I'm all about relaxing and having enough money to do whatever I want, whenever I want
 
1 - 20 of 35 Posts
Top