INFP became INTP as a shell?
Well, without further delays to not bother you all, I've been questioning if I'm an INFP instead of an INTP. Two years ago I was typed as an INTP, last summer as an INFP and right now as an INTP again.
The problem is every time I typed myself, I was going through some sort of external over stimulation as for instance when typing as an INTP I isolated myself from my peers and when as an INFP I was in a relationship. The thing is, I don't know if I ''acted'' as an INTP to protect myself from the external world as a way of keeping myself from getting hurt. Till around 13-14 years old, I could pratically say I was a very caring person about others. Everyone used to tell me I was very sweet and sometimes not being that manly.
By that time, I started isolating myself from everyone due to some personal problems and questions in my life. I became very cold and I did not care about anyone else other than myself. I hurt many people with my seriousness and by not caring about their opinions or the consequences of my acts. I've always been very shy and reserved so I never questioned my I letter. But when I got into a relationship, one that was very dear to me (even though it did not end well) I felt like I could be myself again: I became very clingy, sometimes (most of the times :tongue
over emotional and fantasized a lot about the future. I opened up myself a lot, something I hadn't done for a while.
As everything in life, it ended. And at that time, I got back into my shell again of apathy and rebellious behavior towards other people feelings.
As a kid, I identified myself very much with the IFP childespecially the being part and not dealing well with criticism and clinging to my parents in a search for approval and affection than being overly independent.
A couple of months ago, I dig deeper into the MBTI thing and even though I related a lot to the INTP, I think there was a part of my personality that I started hiding so to better fit (because even though I don't like to admit it, I just want to fit in, be appreciated and understood) in INTP, especially my emotional part. Something I remembered just now: people say I'm very cold but I never liked that adjective: I always thought of myself as very emotional, even emotionally unstable. So as I was saying, I crunched my emotional side to better fit the type and tried very hard to be logical and rational and I really believed I was being so. Turns out many of my behaviors throughout the years I've been very irrational and making decisions with my heart especially on critical moments. Lately, when I was, once again, trying to make decisions logically I was told I was being close minded and irrational, something I never considered I could be, until now. One specifically thing I didn't relate with INTPs was the way they saw loved. How they would detach from their loved one and be emotionally dry. I think of myself as a very dependable person and relate much more with the perfect dreamy romance.
To sum it up I could say I identify more with the search of a place in the world for me than with the search for the truth.
I don't know if being much more comfortable to write this in the INFP subforum is a hint or just that I'm relying on your F side. :laughing:
Am I an INFP in denial? Or may I just be going through an depressive/love lacking period of my INTP life and overreacting the whole thing?
PS: Thank you all for having the patience to read this wall of text and if you could help me even better.:blushed: And sorry for my poor use of English and grammar.
Well, without further delays to not bother you all, I've been questioning if I'm an INFP instead of an INTP. Two years ago I was typed as an INTP, last summer as an INFP and right now as an INTP again.
The problem is every time I typed myself, I was going through some sort of external over stimulation as for instance when typing as an INTP I isolated myself from my peers and when as an INFP I was in a relationship. The thing is, I don't know if I ''acted'' as an INTP to protect myself from the external world as a way of keeping myself from getting hurt. Till around 13-14 years old, I could pratically say I was a very caring person about others. Everyone used to tell me I was very sweet and sometimes not being that manly.
As everything in life, it ended. And at that time, I got back into my shell again of apathy and rebellious behavior towards other people feelings.
As a kid, I identified myself very much with the IFP childespecially the being part and not dealing well with criticism and clinging to my parents in a search for approval and affection than being overly independent.
A couple of months ago, I dig deeper into the MBTI thing and even though I related a lot to the INTP, I think there was a part of my personality that I started hiding so to better fit (because even though I don't like to admit it, I just want to fit in, be appreciated and understood) in INTP, especially my emotional part. Something I remembered just now: people say I'm very cold but I never liked that adjective: I always thought of myself as very emotional, even emotionally unstable. So as I was saying, I crunched my emotional side to better fit the type and tried very hard to be logical and rational and I really believed I was being so. Turns out many of my behaviors throughout the years I've been very irrational and making decisions with my heart especially on critical moments. Lately, when I was, once again, trying to make decisions logically I was told I was being close minded and irrational, something I never considered I could be, until now. One specifically thing I didn't relate with INTPs was the way they saw loved. How they would detach from their loved one and be emotionally dry. I think of myself as a very dependable person and relate much more with the perfect dreamy romance.
To sum it up I could say I identify more with the search of a place in the world for me than with the search for the truth.
I don't know if being much more comfortable to write this in the INFP subforum is a hint or just that I'm relying on your F side. :laughing:
Am I an INFP in denial? Or may I just be going through an depressive/love lacking period of my INTP life and overreacting the whole thing?
PS: Thank you all for having the patience to read this wall of text and if you could help me even better.:blushed: And sorry for my poor use of English and grammar.