Personality Cafe banner

38041 - 38060 of 38159 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,389 Posts
i just sent my sister a youtube link entitled 'meet jesus on your yoga mat'.

i have no idea. but god, that was a find that has made my whole day.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,445 Posts
Thus far, the "new" role at work has been very relaxed compared to what I'm used to - granted, several of the tasks this gal did were split off to other people (I was taking on the vast majority of the "volume" but not all the little things she did).

Part of the time I feel like the stress is starting to melt. Some days I'm feeling much better. Other days I feel like I have hit the proverbial burn out wall (which, considering it's been 3 years since I took a vacation, could very well be). As usual, my patience on my own mental state is wearing thin with a "just get the hell over it already" thing going on, but forcing it has not worked, and time may be the only real fix here - and I'm not great about waiting once I've decided on something (in this case, I'm out of that awful position, so it's time to be over the effects of it - in my mind...).

Meh, I just want to feel like myself again.
 

·
Registered
INTJ, ILI, 9w1 sp/sx
Joined
·
5,416 Posts
I'm having this dream where I'm writing a reply to a thread on a forum. But the weirdest thing about it is how vivid it is. It's utterly real, and I actually can't even remember what it's like to be awake clearly enough to notice any difference whatsoever. It's kind of like I'm having a lucid dream, but everything is so... it's hard to describe. It's like there's a sort of "pressure" I'm feeling all around that's keeping everything "together".

I realized after thinking about it for a bit, that necessarily this implies I'm actually at some ineffable point of total balance and unity "in the middle" somewhere between being awake and being asleep. This memory I'm experiencing, this must be the product of some sort of differentiation taking place that is creating a difference between two points of correspondence in order to determine an axis of reality. If I assume the implied center point between them and give it a direction perpendicular from the other points, this new direction is consciousness and produces a triangular plane, the most basic mathematical form in nature. I repeat this implication by taking the vector cross product of any two edges of the triangle in order to generate a third dimension, and thus there is spacetime. As the complexity of the formation of reality increases, the complexity of the archetypes reflected within it increases.

As above, so below.
 

·
King of Seduction
ENTJ
Joined
·
7,284 Posts
Sometimes I feel like shit.
I felt I was having a shit day because all I did was shower, submit an online form, make an appointment, flake on a book study, and eat tasteless food.

And then my tank-topped neighbor, his tank-topped ex-wife, and their two tank-topped children commenced a loud altercation in their front yard and I remembered: a shit day for me might be a pretty chill one for someone else.
I guess I'm not having too bad a day, after all. My AC affords me sleeves.
Thanks for that perspective, neighbor.
You should have went to their front yard and ripped your sleeves off and start shouting at them.
You could have become their queen.
 

·
King of Seduction
ENTJ
Joined
·
7,284 Posts
Hello everyone,

I am back from the dead it seems, I needed a long, long break from this place to grow as a person and return with a much healthier and more spiritually mature outlook on life. The most important thing I can say that has really been taking place in my life as of late has been getting in touch with the root of my own emotions and experiencing them fully so as to rid myself of a lot of my past conditioning. If you follow (and believe) in the predictions of jung and mbti, around your middle years your tertiary function starts waking up, and if I'm an INTJ, then I can confirm this is what's going on for me currently, as I'm more aware of the emotional influence my own thoughts and the thoughts and feelings of others have on me in an extremely profound way.

I've become extremely aware of how important it is to stop thinking, so that I can first take notice of the fact that I'm feeling anything at all, then focus intensely on those feelings until I can stop feeling. And then, well, you have this very nice, very relaxed pure awareness from which you can start from zero and begin to "work" at analyzing and defining a situation, beginning with only the sensory empirical facts, free of your own past logical and academic conditioning or the influence of unconsciously intruding moods that can be long echos of conflicts born from past childhood traumas.

Anyway, I'll probably drop a blog post about it in the INTJ sub-forum soon enough, once I gather my intuitions into something resembling a coherent and easy-to-read work.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I deeply appreciate you.
Abraxas, ah yes a blast from the past...and essentially the first person I remember from this forum who made me curious about how deep the typing rabbit hole really goes.
Good to see you back.
I like to stop thinking too, but sometimes I need to have a drink of mezcal to make it happen quicker haha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,445 Posts
I've become extremely aware of how important it is to stop thinking, so that I can first take notice of the fact that I'm feeling anything at all, then focus intensely on those feelings until I can stop feeling. And then, well, you have this very nice, very relaxed pure awareness from which you can start from zero and begin to "work" at analyzing and defining a situation....
Hm, funnily enough, this puts to words exactly where I have been the past few months. Recognizing that I'm feeling something, it IS affecting me, then analyzing the whys behind it so I can actually come up with a reasonable action plan rather than just trying to beat my brain into submission (which does not always work very well, and in my case here lately, may have successfully set me back several steps...).

On another note, I'm not sure if it's just partially due to the burnout from work that I'm experiencing, or the crappy job market, but I'm seriously starting to consider alternatives that, if I can live financially comfortably, I'm starting to find a lot more appealing than the 9-5 steady paycheck job. The idea I'm entertaining is trying to build up the "side hustle" I've gotten started (with an established company) and then doing something I relatively enjoy, like working at my horse barn or something motorcycle related, as a "steady" paycheck, but the bulk of my income would have to come from building the side business into a legitimate source of income, because those other jobs/worlds don't pay what I'm expecting to make now that I'm at the age and experience I am in my career. It would be a little scary, but if I buckle down and pay off some of debts before I lose the 9-5, I could pay my bills off a lower level job...

Just musing. Still looking for a job I would like, but really not that interested in taking some crappy position in a role I know I will hate and ^^^ is sounding more and more appealing lately.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,389 Posts
Gnagh. Nothing like checking court files and finding a new one that has your name one it... when you haven't been served.

I'm fucked if I'll pay 14 bucks I don't have to, just to read something I don't even have to respond to until I am served. I paid a process server upwards of 150 bucks to do things the right way, let her do it too.

Edit: curiosity's killing me though
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sela

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,389 Posts
... okay. so i don't know what this is, but i did a court-registry check, and way up near the top because you can't sort their results, is a thing that had already been filed when her daughter was on the phone in the family case, cooing to the court that her mom has covid but she can attest to the truth of everything claimed and my dad was 'like a father' [hack gag big hairball noises] to her. so the court said they're not going to dismiss and my cousin/slash dad will have to go to an actual trial in that one.

meanwhile, come to find out ... there was already this alternate thing in which she seems to make mutually-excluding claims. i got on the phone to my cousin's lawyer after i realised this new thing was there, and his son said they had been served with it just a few days ago. however, he wasn't entirely able to give a coherent account about what is in it.

i told that to my sister and she did the bark belly-laugh that runs in the family, which was nice to hear but still doesn't assist us with knowing what she's done now. he just entered that buttface-y zone, in which people embark on sentences but there isn't enough coherence in what they're reporting to finish them. 'she's saying ... it seems to be ... it looks like she's claiming ... but then ... yeah. i don't know what to tell you, basically. it's nuts.' this in spite of the fact that his very first words were 'well, an actual lawyer wrote this one so it's, like, proper sentences and everything. but it's still hard to work out what she means.' what i did gather was:

  • she seems to have fired teh family lawyer (well, we knew that) and hired an estate one instead.
  • she seems to have decided, eight months after the fact, that my dad's will should be disproven or changed.
  • under that pretext, she's claiming my dad's executor (cousin) and lawyer sold my dad's house 'under market', inferrably with a view to cheating her in some way. although apparently she doens't seem to actually say that's where she comes into it.
  • i guess from this that she actually read the financial disclosure 'we' gave in the family case. she's always had this deluded fantastical view of what my dad's house was worth, never mind all his debts .... and this seems to be the result.
anyway, i finished with my sister and then phoned my cousin. being dutiful, the first thing i did was pass on messages. '[sister] wants me to tell you how sorry she is.' my cousin has her version of the same laugh. 'what, because i'm being sued?' well, exactly :p

i'll tell you what though. my family are really cool and i'm glad to have them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,389 Posts
it's that time of year where i'm contemplating a sweater . . . again. and all the usual stuff is blocking me. i'm using scrap wool and i'm winging it, two reasons why i can't take a chance on getting to the top and then running out. so i want to make it top-down but i can't mentally turn images upside down in my mind. and this matters because:

- i want cardigan and that means i have to decide what's the start, what's the end and then do math and that shit in between those two points.
i want to do it raglan style, but shift the increases so they have the effect of a fitted shoulder instead
can't make up my mind between smooth and textured, as far as the stitch.

simple stocking stitch would definitely be easier to integrate with all of this other shit. but i don't seem to be willing or able to go there on that. and also, i can' tmake up my mind between ordinary sweater and a nice super-bulky thing that looks halfway like a coat.

what's going to happen is what always happens. i'll bash and hack my way to completing something, put it on and be overcome with a feeling of crisis and doubts. and then i'll shelve the whole thing until three years later, when i will go 'i should really do something with all that wool that i ....'

i should just move somewhere where it never gets cold.
 

·
Spam-I-am
Joined
·
13,649 Posts
V’bob happy
da vinmeister whilst at local bookstore ran into James an old classmate
he saw my car [red demon] and wanted to go for a ride
he axed how fast it’ll go so I be saiden back let’s find out
had it up to 125 mph and it still accelerating quickly still before I had to start braking for upcoming sharp turn
not bad for a 2 liter turbo pushing 4000 lbs station wagon
867444
 

·
Meh.
Joined
·
8,050 Posts
M's first day at preschool today. He's started earlier than E because I think he will do really well with some play time with peers and it allows me to pick up an extra course in my next study period. It's SO QUIET in the house now though. I didn't plan much so that I'd be able to pick him up in case it didn't go well but the school director texted that he was actually doing his nap (Parents might understand the sanctity of this activity in a new setting lol).

So I did my final quiz for my current course. I'm waiting on feedback for my report but realised that it's not coming until next week. M is going back to school tomorrow. E is as well. ....... What Am I Supposed To Do with ALL this time.

I might go for a mid morning run. Deep clean the house. Start sorting out some boxes of Stuff.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,165 Posts
On my way back to California for the last time to get my kid, my cats, and my car. I'm so tired of this. Less than one week and I'll be finished.

This week - at least the weekdays - are going to be some of the most stressful. I'm going to take it day-by-day, check it off as I go.

I'm not sure if it's actually going to be that bad or if it's just my "don't wannas" talking 😅
 

·
Meh.
Joined
·
8,050 Posts
I am wondering if my dad is actually on the spectrum. Independently, a few people have mentioned this in the past couple of weeks and it would explain quite a few things.

Personally I still think he's just a bit of an ass most of the time but I could be biased.

----
Most definitely lost ENFJ friend today. I decided to message her and we texted and came to the conclusion that neither of us is willing to compromise or change our views so well... Ok then. That's a deal breaker for her. Deal broken then.

Too bad. Now I have to find a new wine buddy.
 

·
Registered
INTP sp/so 9w1 6w5 4w5
Joined
·
5,450 Posts
Hello everyone,

I am back from the dead it seems, I needed a long, long break from this place to grow as a person and return with a much healthier and more spiritually mature outlook on life.
Happy to see you back and very glad to hear you're in a better place. I look forward to learning from you again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,420 Posts
^ Well... I survived it somehow. My colleague fixed my extension cable so I can actually pull my laptop out most of the way now if necessary. I swear he's related to the Energizer Bunny.
 

·
Registered
INTJ, ILI, 9w1 sp/sx
Joined
·
5,416 Posts
People I strongly dislike by default, upon encountering you in a neutral situation and having never met you before:

Nice people that feel superior to people that aren't nice.
Intelligent people that feel superior to people that aren't intelligent.
Mature people that feel superior to people that aren't mature.

Notice a pattern?
 

·
Registered
INTJ, ILI, 9w1 sp/sx
Joined
·
5,416 Posts
I am wondering if my dad is actually on the spectrum. Independently, a few people have mentioned this in the past couple of weeks and it would explain quite a few things.

Personally I still think he's just a bit of an ass most of the time but I could be biased.

----
Most definitely lost ENFJ friend today. I decided to message her and we texted and came to the conclusion that neither of us is willing to compromise or change our views so well... Ok then. That's a deal breaker for her. Deal broken then.

Too bad. Now I have to find a new wine buddy.
Brother, as one who has dealt with this for an incredibly long time, I can tell you, it is a general pattern I have noticed with all of them that they cannot, or are simply for whatever reason unwilling, to compromise on certain values or beliefs, because it undermines the victim complex they have built up since childhood due to all the negative reinforcement they have to endure growing up. You can't fight it or negotiate with it, and once you recognize the pattern, you have to go "oh, you're not in control are you?" and just kinda let it go. You will never get what you want out of that sort of situation and in the end, it just leads to resentment and possibly grudges.

I'm projecting a bit here, but just giving you the story of my experience with it. I have my own mental health problems that slightly skew my perspective, but mainly just in the sense that I find it harder to tolerate and be around people like that, and so I just don't if I don't have to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,389 Posts
I am wondering if my dad is actually on the spectrum.
i had an uncle who has (had, i guess) always been an absolute ass. in the opinion of me and my sister, of course. and if i'm dispassionate, the opinion of both of his daughters as well. i mean, i guess it's never been TOO much of a secret or anything. we just kind of politely played 'don't ask don't tell' across the family lines.

he was just this sort of cold, selfish, strange kind of person. and what got to my sister and me the most was 'why is he so fucking competitive all the damn time?'

i even tried to fish for what i could learn out of my dad, while we were hanging out all the time together. my dad liked him. he liked both of his brothers. and my dad's always had this sort of gormless, impervious sweetness to him. like, one of the reasons my sister and i were so hostile to [uncle] was we'd get to watch our dad ambling around his brother's house completely oblivious to all the status-y things uncle kept dangling at him. and we'd see the uncle tracking him with those cold Eyes Of Frustrated Competitiveness and we'd kind of flinch. it was funny but not. and we just never could figure out what the guy's problem was.

i asked my dad, at various times. and honestly, it's not like there WAS any sort of formative thing or traumatic event. but my dad said 'no, he was always ambitious. always selfish.'

recently one of his daughters did a bit of a core dump on me. she said that at some point after his death one of her own grandsons was diagnosed and she kind of recalibrated her entire concept of her father. not saying she was sure. but she said that it fit.

there's no question to me after knowing my cousins better that it's a pretty hard way to be raised. my dad could get himself really wound up about it when he got into it.
 
38041 - 38060 of 38159 Posts
Top