^ Good question. Here in the states, at least, I think we're in for about another year or so. Cases are spiking again in my area of the country and we're going backwards.
Ya, I'm finally starting to accept that there will be a distinct line of life before covid, and life after, and that this isn't just a "wait a couple months and life will be normal again" situation.^ Good question. Here in the states, at least, I think we're in for about another year or so. Cases are spiking again in my area of the country and we're going backwards.
Preach, girl.After a long (tearful) conversation with my mom, and letting my brain work through things, last night it kind of "dawned" on me that this is nothing like my previous situation. Previously I had been left with nothing - a pile of unsecured debt, no money, no marketable skills, not even a reliable vehicle. That is not my situation now at all. I've got the "stuff" - a lack of employment may mean living off shoe strings and playing the "what gets paid this month" game for awhile, but WORST case scenario, my credit score gets bad again. Once I have a job, I can get right back to my life - it's not going to take years of struggle to get here again - all it will take is a job.
Yeeessss, all of this.Preach, girl.
I literally just had the “I’m not gonna be poor again” convo with INTP but took that same step back and came to a similar conclusion: I’ll survive this. I just get uncomfortable when things aren’t on my terms and/or can’t be willed to be how I want them. Discomfort can lead to mini panic because it feels like perhaps I’ve planned poorly, I’m wasting time, I’m off-track and altering my trajectory in an irreparable way, and I feel momentarily helpless and vulnerable. The reality is that the ship I’m trying to right is in nowhere near the peril I’m apprehensively perceiving it to be. Normally, I fuel my determination with my hatred of feeling this way but I can’t figure out where to aim it so all this normally motivational energy is just backed up with nowhere to go.
On that note, I really feel like I’m so distracted by, well, everything and it’s preventing me from working out an unconventional solution to things. I am clamoring for that conventional 9-5 brand of security. Not that I’m like “follow your dreams and become a professional cat petter” (or am I?) but I could be hustling more. I think my brain needs to simmer down and focus and not concern itself so much with OCD laundry and dishwashing “matters.” I hate cleaning but it provides tangible evidence of accomplishment that soothes me on some odd level. I’m creative, I’m smart, I know I’ve got things brewing on the back burner but lately my mental process feels like a swirling snow globe. I can’t settle it down long enough to establish the architecture I need to manage this.
Being awake at 3 am isn’t helping.
I have had so much difficulty accepting this but you’re right. It’s not necessarily due to a detriment on my side and I need to stop stressing out about it. Thank you!I can't control someone else hiring me.
If you haven't already, you might enjoy the book Ratio. Never finished it myself because life happened, but I did read the entire chapter on bread and found it very helpful in baking the beginnings of my bread knowledge.[bread stuff]
Living together has been easy and really nice, despite everything going on. Granted, it has only been 2 months but I’m glad I made the move.
I own that book! I reference it now and then but I think it’s possibly for someone who is a little more willing to try their hand at creating a recipe. It’s the coolest book but I know I would experience frustration and feel like I wasted my time if I tried creating my own entire recipe and have it turn out bland or weird or, worse, not at all. I’d rather take someone’s proven as a base and then tweak. I’m much more about paint and upholstery vs restoring a car from the ground up.If you haven't already, you might enjoy the book Ratio. Never finished it myself because life happened, but I did read the entire chapter on bread and found it very helpful in baking the beginnings of my bread knowledge.
Glad to hear it's going well for you guys. I was going to make some dumb metaphor about nurturing your relationship like you would a sourdough starter, but I just can't seem to rise to the occasion. (I'll just see myself out now.)
I've wanted to read that book. Though I'm at a point now where I'd just rather put the stuff in a breadmaker and have it take care of the dough part, then bake it in the oven. Though even that I'm not willing to do these days. I seriously want a kitchen where I can spread out and use all of my tools whenever I want.The bread book that’s my go to at the moment is Flour, Water, Salt, Yeast by Ken Forkish. I have learned an amazing amount of info from just the first chapter. I think about 20% of it might be too pro/technical for me to fuss with (I’m not ready to figure out this poolish and preferment business). I’m not planning to open a bakery - I just want bakery quality bread without having to go to a bakery.
Ha! I've heard the way to an INTP's heart is through their stomach, so maybe you're on the right track.Well, one thing our relationship has in common with a sourdough starter is that I am always feeding him haha