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lirulin said:
It's been over a month now. I am tired of being ill. Fuck you, bronchitis, fuck you...
I feel you and hope you heal soon. Try almost 7 years of an incurable deadly nervous system illness. The prognosis: severe paralysis or even death as soon as within the first 3 years. Sufficeth to say I'm still alive, and kicking ass at that, and if I didn't share this information, none would've ever been able to tell. I'd rather bear this burden than have you suffer such disgrace!

Damn illness won't leave me!!! BEGONE!!! :angry:
 

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I feel you and hope you heal soon. Try almost 7 years of an incurable deadly nervous system illness. The prognosis: severe paralysis or even death as soon as within the first 3 years. Sufficeth to say I'm still alive, and kicking ass at that, and if I didn't share this information, none would've ever been able to tell. I'd rather bear this burden than have you suffer such disgrace!

Damn illness won't leave me!!! BEGONE!!! :angry:
I had a bout of cancer a few years ago which required surgery, but from the sounds of it what I went through was a picnic in comparison. That's some serious whoop-ass you've unleashed there.
 

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I decided to (try to) suck up all the negative emanating from my unaware (ISFJ) wife....doing nice things, saying nice things, smiling, being attentive and giving hugs and kisses.........aiming to conquer the emotional and physical 5 year divide between us. All she wants is stability and money.

And like an echo, I am telling myself "you cannot change her, you cannot change her, you cannot expect her to change"....and my Fi is all out of whack, my mind caught in a circular maze....

I have a doctorate dissertation to write and I can barely sit down at my computer to do ONE thing for more than 10 or 15 minutes.....

The INTJ in me rears its beautiful head and monotones, "leave her".

But we have two young children which she has said and shown that she cannot take care of alone due to her inability to deal with stress.

During a regular day at a regular moment...I get on the verge of tears sometimes. What the hell?? I have to break free. How do I break free?
For the sake of our children do we suffer untenable situations with the stoicism of saints. Smile, nod, pretend you care.... plot, plan, find the answers before anyone thinks to ask the questions.

You are not alone. Many of us have been there, or are there now.
 

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For the sake of our children do we suffer untenable situations with the stoicism of saints. Smile, nod, pretend you care.... plot, plan, find the answers before anyone thinks to ask the questions.

You are not alone. Many of us have been there, or are there now.
Ditto to that. I escaped with barely a shred of sanity left. We make it look so easy too.
 

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Discussion Starter #26
I had a major reality wake up call yesterday. I realized how little my IRL friends matter compared to my OL friends. And that if there was a major event to happen in my life my OL friends would be the first to know.

This actually makes me really sad and makes me think about what it is exactly that makes it so difficult to make friends on the physical plain. I wonder if maybe I am just a bad person? Or if I am just too difficult to get along with?
 

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I had a major reality wake up call yesterday. I realized how little my IRL friends matter compared to my OL friends. And that if there was a major event to happen in my life my OL friends would be the first to know.

This actually makes me really sad and makes me think about what it is exactly that makes it so difficult to make friends on the physical plain. I wonder if maybe I am just a bad person? Or if I am just too difficult to get along with?
I think the simple answer is that it is easier to find people who understand and accept you when you have an entire planet of people from which to choose. Our IRL company is so limited in comparison.

You are not a bad person Hemo. Nor are you difficult to get along with. There is not one person among your OL friends who would claim otherwise. You are the heart of us.
 

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Discussion Starter #28
I think the simple answer is that it is easier to find people who understand and accept you when you have an entire planet of people from which to choose. Our IRL company is so limited in comparison.

You are not a bad person Hemo. Nor are you difficult to get along with. There is not one person among your OL friends who would claim otherwise. You are the heart of us.
Thank you Chancey, you and the others are such a comfort. I could never be more thankful for meeting such an amazing group of people. The INTJs I have met along the way all hold a very special place in my heart.

I should say thank you to Invisible Jim in particular for slapping me with Te when I let my Fi get in the way of reality.
 

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I decided to (try to) suck up all the negative emanating from my unaware (ISFJ) wife....doing nice things, saying nice things, smiling, being attentive and giving hugs and kisses.........aiming to conquer the emotional and physical 5 year divide between us. All she wants is stability and money.

And like an echo, I am telling myself "you cannot change her, you cannot change her, you cannot expect her to change"....and my Fi is all out of whack, my mind caught in a circular maze....

I have a doctorate dissertation to write and I can barely sit down at my computer to do ONE thing for more than 10 or 15 minutes.....

The INTJ in me rears its beautiful head and monotones, "leave her".

But we have two young children which she has said and shown that she cannot take care of alone due to her inability to deal with stress.

During a regular day at a regular moment...I get on the verge of tears sometimes. What the hell?? I have to break free. How do I break free?
I agree with Chancey Rose's advice on one level; on another level, you could find some day care so you can get to your dissertation and not have to worry about other issues.

Apologies if this seems overly reductive.
 

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...you could find some day care so you can get to your dissertation and not have to worry about other issues.

Apologies if this seems overly reductive.
No apologies necessary....ever. Both are in pre-school during the school year and we have the option of day care at their school during the summer --- a $10 option per kid my wife is not willing to pay unless extremely necessary. A kind word to define her is "frugal". I convinced her about 10 days ago, as part of my renewed energy toward "us", to put the kids in daycare, so she and I could catch a movie and lunch. It was the first time she and I were alone without the kids for over 4 years. Her parents and sister do not babysit for us and in Japanese society no one asks friends to do so.

At any rate, the last few weeks between working on my thoughts, releasing some on this forum and getting support from you (plural), I am getting my motor running again.
 

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Discussion Starter #32
I effing luv you guys! Every one of you (she says as she sloshes her vodka tonic on the floor), but especially certain ones of you.... You know who you are. Wee!
I think you better sit down before you fall down.

*Sneaks in another drink in her hand*

My happy vent:

I LOVE the fact that InvisibleJim thinks this thread is redundant and refuses to post in here. Every time somebody contributes I do a little happy V for Victory dance.

This thread gives me such pleasure, thank you all for participating.
 

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If I am arguing with someone about genocide, nazism, racism, sexism, etc. and taking them down for such idiocy....why am I the negative one?????
 

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No apologies necessary....ever. Both are in pre-school during the school year and we have the option of day care at their school during the summer --- a $10 option per kid my wife is not willing to pay unless extremely necessary. A kind word to define her is "frugal". I convinced her about 10 days ago, as part of my renewed energy toward "us", to put the kids in daycare, so she and I could catch a movie and lunch. It was the first time she and I were alone without the kids for over 4 years. Her parents and sister do not babysit for us and in Japanese society no one asks friends to do so.

At any rate, the last few weeks between working on my thoughts, releasing some on this forum and getting support from you (plural), I am getting my motor running again.
Good luck! I had a hard enough time finishing my diss and holding down a full time job without family responsibilities.

Did you say what you're working on? (and feel free not to answer if it's at one of those stages that prevents talk)
 

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Good luck! I had a hard enough time finishing my diss and holding down a full time job without family responsibilities.

Did you say what you're working on? (and feel free not to answer if it's at one of those stages that prevents talk)
Researching the motivation (enjoyment, usefulness and importance) of Japanese elementary school students. I have my data and direction. I am in the middle of my Lit Review. Just me and the keyboard and the fog in between.

Yours?
 

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Researching the motivation (enjoyment, usefulness and importance) of Japanese elementary school students. I have my data and direction. I am in the middle of my Lit Review. Just me and the keyboard and the fog in between.

Yours?
I wrote about the representation of domestic violence in various nonfiction, popular, and fiction genres in the US. I defended already, but it was a challenge to finish. I am finally publishing a chapter of it this year.
 
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