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I don't know if such a thread exist but i can't seem to find it here so if nobody mind, i'll go ahead and make one. If it already does, please delete or redirect me there!
I need a place where i can vent/rant about being a 9 and which (me thinks) only other nines can understand. So i'm sure many will lurk or this thread will disappear in history but i don't care. I need to vent/go into bouts of conscious!

I'm so sick of being passive, of keeping quiet when i need to say something, of being rejected, ignored, insecure, lonely, quiet, un-noticed, like i'm not an important person, of trying to keep calm instead of getting angry, for not being able to control my anger, for feeling unloved, for being unloved, for being invisible, for being too responsive, too accepting, too 'accommodating'...........

Double sided blade indeed. I'm a human being for crying out loud. I can't help but neglect those who neglect me. All i'm asking for is harmony and being a friend. It's nothing much, not a big deal. Why do i have to feel so fucking alone?
STOP JUDGING ME!

:angry::angry::angry:

/randomvent

There. I don't know if others will join but what the hell.
-.-



*feels better nao*
 

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I'm tired of living in this body. I'm a different kind of tired - sleep doesn't cure it. I feel my soul yelling "let me out" constantly. I dissociate a lot because living in this world with all this hatred and greed and stuff is hard for me, as I hurt so much. I'm overly emotional sometimes, and people say that its bad. I can't win. I just want to leave this earth and be at home again.

As long as I am still breathing, I will always strive to be better, no matter the cost.

I feel alone in crowds; I am an outsider, an outcast and I don't pride myself on it. I hate that part about me but at the same time, I don't want to get close to people. I feel stuck.

Sometimes people think that I'm ignoring or avoiding them i.e. not returning phone calls, but the reality is that I have completely disassociated from them to the point that I forget about them. Then I remember them and feel like a complete ass because I like them and I figure out a way to fix it. Next, I forget about them AGAIN when I get wrapped up in other things and then realize that it's been months since I've returned their phone call. Then I feel like an ass even more, but I feel like it's too late to call them back. Then one day I run into them and feel like EVEN MORE OF AN ASS because I have to tell them why. So friendships are hard for me, I am a heavily forgetful person, and also I want to get close but its hard, so I have very few friends. (My friends and relatives know that I'm forgetful, and they help me)

I HATE BEING FORGETFUL.
Driving on the highway I forget which road to turn on, even though I've been on it a few times, and I get really pissed off because I get lost easily.

I hate and love my type (heavy 5 influence) at the same time.

Also, I hate it when I'm ignored by someone I like and they wont tell me why.
 

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I'm sick of those people who start so much drama and create all this chaos and rubbish for no reason. Seriously why can't people just leave each other alone, why do they have to be invading and selfish. Why can't they just shut up and relax for a little bit.

It's cliched, it's stereotypical, but seriously, is it that hard to get along? Why must you cause trouble wherever you go? I'm not even asking for much, I just want a bit - just a little bit - of peace.
 

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I'm sick of feeling stuck, feeling like it's okay for my needs to wait, that they don't matter. I feel guilty about my catastrophe fantasies, cause it seems like only a catastrophe would get me to change. I'm tired of obsessing over the enneagram, rearranging furniture, doing crossword puzzles instead of doing what matters to me. I hate how when I finally do stand up for myself I'm so quick to apologize. I hate how I become resentful when my husband doesn't do what I want to do because then I'll get to have the life I want to have. I need to be my own agent of change, but how can I be when I'm always changing what I want or talking myself out of it.
 

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I'm sick of being so unsure about myself, of thinking I'm too boring and stupid and uninteresting to most people, yet not being motivated enough to do anything about it. That's the clincher, I think - 4s are all about their 'real selves' & how misunderstood they feel and shit, but so are some of us. The difference is, we don't know and/or can't be stuffed to find out.
Hmm... I've become more assertive of late, or at least *defensive*. I'm not so quick to bow to other people's opinions as I used to be. As a matter of fact I've started to argue for the sake of argument. Perhaps it's a way of feeling validated?
Maybe that's the 8-wing.
 

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People irritate me.

I'm sick of people being condescending, arrogant, ignorant, and pretentious. I'm sick of people ruining my good mood simply by being in my presence. I'm sick of people turning down the music in my car. I'm sick of people asking me to do something, and then yelling at me for not doing it their way. I'm sick of people who don't even try to understand my feelings, my interests, my actions.

Modern culture irritates me.

I'm sick of shallow, pointless shows like Jersey Shore topping the charts. I'm sick of music sounding so electronic. I'm sick of people relying completely on technology (and I hate that I do the same). I'm sick of the media, brainwashing our children to be shallow, insecure, immoral.

I irritate myself.

I'm sick of the empty feeling I get when I go to sports events, and other things that most people enjoy. I'm sick of not understanding why people do what they do. I'm sick of the crippling feeling of fear that prevents me from voicing my opinion. I'm sick of these doubts that plague my mind. I'm sick of being unable to express my emotions.

:frustrating:
 

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I can so relate to disassociating... I've only become aware that I do this over the last year or so. I disassociate from negative feelings, positive feelings, I don't allow myself to feel intensely. I just...cut off and stay at this constant level, monotone feeling...

Now that I'm aware I try to catch myself doing this and force myself to feel the emotion. It's difficult though...

I have disassociated from my father to the point of ignoring his calls for the past 4 months. I just forget about him until he calls me. Then I feel angry at the phone for ringing. I would throw it across the room if the phone hadn't been so expensive.

I'm also sick of other people dumping their drama on me. I'm sick of my ex texting me crying about how much he misses me. You should've thought of that when you became emotionally involved with other women a$$hole......LEAVE ME ALONE. And I HATE that I feel shitty for feeling this way. Why should I feel shitty because somebody who did hurtful and abusive things is now reaping the consequences of that?? Blahhhhh....it's getting better with time but this frustrates me about myself. My feelings are valid dammit... :angry:

Ok, I'm done.
 

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I have disassociated from my father to the point of ignoring his calls for the past 4 months. I just forget about him until he calls me. Then I feel angry at the phone for ringing. I would throw it across the room if the phone hadn't been so expensive.
When I get emails from my dad I glare at them for a bit. I don't want to read them or reply to them, it irritates me that they're there. I feel like that they've ruined things just by being there, though it's an overreaction. I eventually email back, but it's short small talk that won't lead to an actual conversation. Some people I just want to avoid and pretend they don't exist.

Grrr. :frustrating:
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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Hmm... does anyone else have issues with Type 1s?

I mean... it might just be an unhealthy one that I'm associating with, but... sometimes I can't handle how they always have to be right and that they are so judgmental. They can't accept ambiguity or answers that are correct, only in certain situations or examples. It's all or nothing. It is almost impossible to please them; it's like walking on eggshells all the time. You think you are improving relations by being accomodating and then they get angry that you aren't thinking for yourself. :frustrating:

Basically this hits the mark:
It is difficult for Nines to step up to the plate and take the level of responsibility that Ones are looking for.

The quiet indifference of the Nine only infuriates the One all the more. In short, it is difficult for Ones to respect Nines, just as it is difficult for Nines to feel comfortable with (and able to express themselves to) Ones.

Others find it very difficult to be around this pair because of the obvious, painful zingers pointed at the Nine by the One.
*sigh*

Good thread! :happy:
 

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I think I have more trouble with 8s. Well that's not fair, it's one specific 8w7 I know... similar to walking on eggshells as you say, but instead I feel like I'm walking through a minefield. The unpredictability, the domination, the aggression, the brutality... It's like, constant fear of attack. The rage, thankfully, is rarely directed at me but just being around it makes me completely shut down.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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I think I have more trouble with 8s. Well that's not fair, it's one specific 8w7 I know... similar to walking on eggshells as you say, but instead I feel like I'm walking through a minefield. The unpredictability, the domination, the aggression, the brutality... It's like, constant fear of attack. The rage, thankfully, is rarely directed at me but just being around it makes me completely shut down.
Wow, that sounds terrible. You're probably right that 8s are worse. I just don't know if I've encountered any IRL. Actually, now that I think about it, one of my "friends" from high school may be an 8. She's an ENTJ, and she fits everything you described. I actually make it a point to spend as little time with her as possible. :confused:
 

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His Majesty
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Wow.... I agree and feel what all of you are saying! I can't write anything because I see what I wanna say all written in this forum! Thank you all........ I empathize totally with you.....
 

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Wow.... I agree and feel what all of you are saying! I can't write anything because I see what I wanna say all written in this forum! Thank you all........ I empathize totally with you.....
That's pretty much the reason I don't post much, most of the time I'm just repeating what's already been said :laughing:

Maybe it's a Nine thing... in that case, I think I may have realised why the Nine forum is so dead.
 

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His Majesty
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That's pretty much the reason I don't post much, most of the time I'm just repeating what's already been said :laughing:

Maybe it's a Nine thing... in that case, I think I may have realised why the Nine forum is so dead.
And you are sooooooo right!
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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That's pretty much the reason I don't post much, most of the time I'm just repeating what's already been said :laughing:

Maybe it's a Nine thing... in that case, I think I may have realised why the Nine forum is so dead.
I know! It's actually kind of sad. I feel awkward when I've had the last post in all of the threads on the first page of this forum... But I view this thread like the Rant/Rave thread in the ISTJ forum. Individual stories/problems welcome.
 

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Honestly, are any of the forums for the nine Enneagram types popular on this website? The action's mostly in the MBTI-type threads.
True, but I get the feeling that there are a lot more Nines here than are posting. Maybe they're reading this post right now... O:

I think we're more of a stealthy 'thank everything, say nothing' group! :laughing:
 

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I think I have more trouble with 8s. Well that's not fair, it's one specific 8w7 I know... similar to walking on eggshells as you say, but instead I feel like I'm walking through a minefield. The unpredictability, the domination, the aggression, the brutality... It's like, constant fear of attack. The rage, thankfully, is rarely directed at me but just being around it makes me completely shut down.
I agree, I love some 8s but it's a mode of being I don't understand. When I have a problem with someone, I want to withdraw and think on it, but my 8 friend wants to charge right in and vent it all out. We got into a huge fight once and realized that we actively try to solve things in opposite ways.

Honestly, are any of the forums for the nine Enneagram types popular on this website? The action's mostly in the MBTI-type threads.
I think the 4s are pretty active, as are a few others. xD But we don't seem to get together and make interesting conversation for whatever reason. Not enough conflict?
 

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I think the 4s are pretty active, as are a few others. xD But we don't seem to get together and make interesting conversation for whatever reason. Not enough conflict?
Yeah, I noticed that too. It says something that the conversation we're having right now is about not making enough conversation. :laughing:
 
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