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INFP 9w1
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Today I will tell you the tale that you might not care about.

It's about me, a few years ago.
I was a huge druggie. Doing all kinds of drugs all the time. My head was messed up and my feelings all over the place. On top of that I was seriously mentally ill, barely had friends, failed at university, failed my drivers liscence and much more.

But I loved one thing: trolling!
In my town there was this app... it was anonymous. It was kind of like a message board. You could post pictures, videos, texts and you had no user name. You were a new number in every post. And I created a character there! I used voice to chat and just spammed my thoughts out. Punctuation marks? I didn't know what that was. So my texts were barely readable. Tons of errors, wrong voice to chat translation, loopy thoughts, I kept repeating the same words and sentences and my texts were filled with pain and sorrow. My character was very stubborn, very angry, very competitive and very sick. I kept fighting with people, crying for help, posting pictures about drugs and self harm and they always knew it was me, because of my very special way to write. My posts were always trending and getting the most comments. People kept asking about me if I didn't post for a day. I was pretty famous for a while!

After a while I started to feel very bad about it though. People seriously worried about me. They seriously were trying to help me and I kept resisting. I was never able to go into too much detail, because I didn't want anyone to know the real me, so people also couldn't really help me. At the same time I kept revealing more and more. So at some point I just lost it and revealed the whole thing. That I just created a character. It was art. Expression. I was disappointed, because most people were angry at me and they didn't understand that that character was a part of me. They thought I was faking everything.

After that event I tried to go back in character a couple of times, but it didn't work anymore. They knew. I tried creating new characters, but they weren't "me", so it didn't work. I tried being honest and while that was nice, it was also boring. I miss those times sometimes.

Some days I was just smoking weed all day, laying in bed, watching TV and trolling online. Those moments were very comfortable and incredibly funny.
 

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I seriously worry about you while reading this too, but I understand why you did it,you trolling was a cry for help.

It was a cry for help but it isn't a solution. Have dignity and common sense. Both work hand in hand, you for example, lacked common sense with your trolling, but I can understand why you did it, not out of hate but out of hurt.

Common sense is to not make other people feel bad, to not bother or force other people, to say please, thanks, and so on. As long as you have common sense, you can be however you like, you can be yourself. There are people who will answer in kind an people who wont. For those that answer in kind, respect them, for those that don't it's not your fault, you did your part, it's about their character not your character.

Dignity is to not allow other people to mop the floor with you. It's about the second case, when someone doesn't respect you, and I don't mean indifference but treating you badly, you have to take attitude, don't let him make a fool out of you, not necessarly to jump for a fight, preferably in a tactful way. To not allow others to treat you with a lack of respect you must first respect yourself.

It is also important to become a likeable person, to do that you need to become a malleable person, an understanding person. It's a good thing to please people, when someone asks you for a favor it's good to help them, some people say that pleasing people makes you their slave which has a half-truth but overall is completly dumb, when you please other people most people appreciate it and will treat you better as they know they can count on you. The difference is to please when it doesn't do you more harm than good, this is where the half-truth comes from, when the fact that you want to please others makes you more harm than good then stop, only when it makes you good or it's a neutral thing that you are doing for the other person it's good to please them, because they will appreciate it. There is a clear difference between help and abuse, between pleasing resonably and sacrificng yourself for no reason. The idea is to have dignity, common sense and be a malleable person. Because it is the lack of these things that often creeates problems for people in their life.
 
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