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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, I feel the call for adventure as I start working tomorrow.
My goal is obviously to earn money, but make good impression on my bosses..I seem to have problem with authority figures. So if you're an INFJ who used to have such problem and have managed to solve it, let me know.

My other goal is to be more social. Be good at small talk. So if you're an INFJ who wasn't naturally a good talker but now somewhat manage it to meet new ppl, let me know.

My last goal is to learn how to flirt. A potato can flirt better than me, and I want to change that. I will be interacting with ppl ~90% of the time, and out of those times ~80% of the time dealing with women. I used to be scared of this, but now I think I can turn it into a good thing..

So yea, time has come.




Please pray for me, if you're not leaving advice/tips itt.
 

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MOTM October 2013
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Bosses--do as you're told, don't complain, work hard. That seems to work for me, but unless I really believe that the boss is a good one, it's hard to do. Criticism eventually edges its way in and boom. So, I guess on top of the other things, find the bosses that you can appreciate, and lessen your time with the ones you can't.

Communicating--Listening is an undervalued skill. Don't learn to do small talk: learn to listen. Ask questions and listen. In time, you'll pick up on the tricks of the talkers, too, and know best how to use them because you know what it's like on the other end!

Can't help you much with flirting...I'm terribad at it.

Good luck! Keep the positive attitude and the rest will come!
 

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Learning to be social and flirt are in the same category. You have to learn to be comfortable with yourself and be comfortable with the result regardless of the outcome. In other words you need to learn to relax and not over analyse and stop trying so hard. You have to learn to let lose and not care, and live in the moment. Being expressive and being controlled and logical are two different mindsets. You can be very expressive in a controlled and logical manner but you can't be spontaneous with it. You can plan out, like an actor, and think things through to X extent. Past that point, it is doomed to fail. In the dynamic situation of a conversation you have to go with the flow.


Two options:

1. You either work comprehensively on your emotional intelligence in order to work and logically think through social situations. (Like a psychopath)

OR

2. You learn to let loose and live in the moment like most people do.

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I will never forget the day my AP psych teacher in high school called me a psychopath. When I am one of the most emotional people I know. I spent my childhood, as the awkward one, and constantly. CONSTANTLY asked why. Looked for answers, trying to better myself for others and to understand the people and the world around me. Number one came naturally to me, I'm just now working on number two.
 

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I normally don't have issues with bosses, but I did have a problem with a manager who was not fair to me once. I don't like bosses who are not effective (thought I can like them as person) or who does not care for his team (these I dislike), so if a boss proves himself to be unworthy of my loyalty then I'll just keep my professional mask and keep going or go somewhere else. No extra hours of work or extra dedication thought. :p

But with bosses, a good way to work with them is to help them get things going and help them. Prove them you don't need micromanagement, that you understand what they need from you and provide solutions. Ask for their advice, confirm with them if what you think you are going to do is what they want. Even with that boss I had issues with, he noticed my capacity so he was happy with me. His way of getting things done was by though treatment so I didn't really take it personally (everyone had critics from him anyways).

With socializing, I do still lack the natural skills, but I try to learn from what I observe and blend in. I've noticed that I was quite distant, cold and too formal compared to others, as I don't usually ask random things about people as I feel it might be intrusive. Apparently, people are quite open and you can just meet a coworker and know about his kids and next holidays in 30 mins lol. So I try to not be afraid of starting small talks similar to theirs, ask random things and share a bit of my own stuffs too. Humor and smiles sets people at ease and it feels good too, I found myself to actually enjoy small moments. :)

Also, I've noticed that I'm not the only one who can be awkward. Sometimes it feels a bit bad to make a fail joke or stupid comment where no one answers, but then I've noticed that I'm not the only one who has these. It's just we probably worry too much are our own harshest critic even thought no one bothers with an awkward comment or two.

So basically, observation and practice. :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Well, my boss is awesome so far, so are my co-workers. Work is not that difficult..minus answering the phones, which I can look as practising my voice tone. Hey, I might just be Employee of the month, MAN!
 
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