Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 42 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,619 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
INTP: A partner who cannot think critically.

INTPs are the ultimate critical thinkers – this type won’t accept any thought, fact or opinion until they’ve examined it thoroughly, from every available angle. Though they may not expect their partners to be as intellectually thorough as they are, they need to be paired with someone who wants to learn, advance and grow alongside them. After all, if the INTP can’t discuss the latest theory they’re interested in, they’re going to have very little left to discuss.

The Top Relationship Dealbreaker For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type | Thought Catalog

Discuss ...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
963 Posts
I agree.
I mean, I don't need to discuss every theory I'm interested in, but I need to have a partner who is able to think critically. Who is open minded and intelligent.
And with a good sense of humor (that's essential to me).
And another very important thing is not to be limited in my indipendece or controlled.
I absolutely hate it. Oh... not that it is possibile to control me or force me to do something I don't want to do, but I hate when somebody try to do it.
And there is also something else: I would not be able to resist in a too strict relationship. You know... with a too clingy partner who want to do everything together and to share all the hobbies and spare time.
I have my interests and I need time for myself even in a relationship, so the more you leave me free, the more I will stick to you.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,619 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
I agree.
I mean, I don't need to discuss every theory I'm interested in, but I need to have a partner who is able to think critically. Who is open minded and intelligent.
And with a good sense of humor (that's essential to me).
And another very important thing is not to be limited in my indipendece or controlled.
I absolutely hate it. Oh... not that it is possibile to control me or force me to do something I don't want to do, but I hate when somebody try to do it.
And there is also something else: I would not be able to resist in a too strict relationship. You know... with a too clingy partner who want to do everything together and to share all the hobbies and spare time.
I have my interests and I need time for myself even in a relationship, so the more you leave me free, the more I will stick to you.
Yes, I feel about the same you do. I also try to give a partner this same kind of respect and freedom.

I think this article was just trying to give one major example and I am curious how many agree about her summary according to there type.

I had for example a woman friend who is ESFJ (confirmed by test). She made some advances towards me in the past, but our being friends, I wanted to be careful in going too far before I understood her more. Unfortunately, she was not very critical in her decision making I found and it really had a negative effect on my interest in her. Even as friends, it has been a little strained. I haven't talk to her much in a couple of years primarily to this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
987 Posts
Hm... Not quite for me. Judging by that list, I come closest to the ENTJ deal-breaker: disloyalty.

While critical thinking is a huge plus for me, it's not strictly required so long as you are willing to at least be attentive to my thoughts and try to add your own thoughts to the extent of your abilities, even if they are pretty simple.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
963 Posts
Hm... Not quite for me. Judging by that list, I come closest to the ENTJ deal-breaker: disloyalty.
What do you mean for disloyalty?
I think I'm quite prone to forgive disloyalty if it happens.
I'm quite prone to forgive any kind of mistake actually, if the person is really sorry and really cares about the relationship. In any kind of relationship actually.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
963 Posts
Yes, I feel about the same you do. I also try to give a partner this same kind of respect and freedom.

I think this article was just trying to give one major example and I am curious how many agree about her summary according to there type.

I had for example a woman friend who is ESFJ (confirmed by test). She made some advances towards me in the past, but our being friends, I wanted to be careful in going too far before I understood her more. Unfortunately, she was not very critical in her decision making I found and it really had a negative effect on my interest in her. Even as friends, it has been a little strained. I haven't talk to her much in a couple of years primarily to this.
Can you give an example of what do you mean?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
788 Posts
Dealbreakers:

  • If you put words into my mouth.
  • If you're not willing to sit down and talk problems out, and instead decide you want to shout at me. I think it's pretty important that we both understand what each others perspectives, and if we do have a problem, why and what happened to cause said problem.

Critical thinking is a massive bonus. It's not necessarily required, but it'd be great to have someone to bounce my ideas off and to give me a new logically sound perspective.:)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Try me
I agree.
I mean, I don't need to discuss every theory I'm interested in, but I need to have a partner who is able to think critically. Who is open minded and intelligent.
And with a good sense of humor (that's essential to me).
And another very important thing is not to be limited in my indipendece or controlled.
I absolutely hate it. Oh... not that it is possibile to control me or force me to do something I don't want to do, but I hate when somebody try to do it.
And there is also something else: I would not be able to resist in a too strict relationship. You know... with a too clingy partner who want to do everything together and to share all the hobbies and spare time.
I have my interests and I need time for myself even in a relationship, so the more you leave me free, the more I will stick to you.

Sent from my Mi 4i using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
963 Posts
Now, I'm a little confused by your question. An example of?
oh sorry,
of the acritical decisions of the women you was talking about. Because I'm beginning to think that I've lost something in the translation and I'm would like to have some exemples of acritical thinking (sorry, my english is not so good)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,991 Posts
INTP: A partner who cannot think critically.

INTPs are the ultimate critical thinkers – this type won’t accept any thought, fact or opinion until they’ve examined it thoroughly, from every available angle. Though they may not expect their partners to be as intellectually thorough as they are, they need to be paired with someone who wants to learn, advance and grow alongside them. After all, if the INTP can’t discuss the latest theory they’re interested in, they’re going to have very little left to discuss.
Eh.. don't completely agree, since a lot of INTPs are very independent and can entertain themselves on message boards like this or among friends and colleagues. It's a narrow audience, but really needed whether it is with a significant other or whomever. I wouldn't necessarily seek out someone to date who thought and analyzed like I did.

I think as long you are able to have someone occasionally engage or always encourage your interests, and not call them wastes of time, there is something very rewarding there. And it doesn't even have to be something intellectual, just something you are passionate about that you spend unreasonable amounts of time introverting about.

Just having them be accepting of your quirks is very valuable in and of itself.

The deal breaker for me would be dating someone who needed to have every minute scheduled and accounted for. There are some obnoxiously efficient people out there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
987 Posts
What do you mean for disloyalty?
I think I'm quite prone to forgive disloyalty if it happens.
I'm quite prone to forgive any kind of mistake actually, if the person is really sorry and really cares about the relationship. In any kind of relationship actually.
The description they gave is as follows: "ENTJs show their love through acts of diligence and loyalty – and they expect the same back from their partners. To an ENTJ, love is a verb, not a feeling. The moment they suspect that a partner may be willing to betray or act against them, they will not hesitate to shut them out. Relationships are a matter of risk management to the ENTJ and if you’re not going to play devotedly for their team, you can find another."

This is actually a pretty excellent description of me, aside from the ENTJ part. Disloyalty for me would be, at its extreme, cheating. However, it could also include things like casting me in a negative light to others by making up stories about me (legitimate criticism is fine, making up stuff to make me look bad is not). If you are doing things like that, I don't care how much you apologize and protest that you really care. If you really cared you would not have done it, and please take yourself to Mount Nyiragongo and go for a swim.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,619 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
oh sorry,
of the acritical decisions of the women you was talking about. Because I'm beginning to think that I've lost something in the translation and I'm would like to have some exemples of acritical thinking (sorry, my english is not so good)
pm sent.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
at the moment my heart and my brain are already taken.
But I'll make a note of it for future references.
:laughing:
I'm looking forward to be friends with more INTPs..... The reply I gave you doesn't necessarily imply that you're heart should accompany you!! Hoping for a positive reply.....

Sent from my Mi 4i using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,157 Posts
I mean, I think most of these say the same thing in different ways. I don't want to be with someone who bores me, is needy, is stupid, lies, or makes me feel like someone I'm not.

You really like ThoughtCatalogue, don't you?

Eh.. don't completely agree, since a lot of INTPs are very independent and can entertain themselves on message boards like this or among friends and colleagues. It's a narrow audience, but really needed whether it is with a significant other or whomever. I wouldn't necessarily seek out someone to date who thought and analyzed like I did.

I think as long you are able to have someone occasionally engage or always encourage your interests, and not call them wastes of time, there is something very rewarding there. And it doesn't even have to be something intellectual, just something you are passionate about that you spend unreasonable amounts of time introverting about.

Just having them be accepting of your quirks is very valuable in and of itself.

The deal breaker for me would be dating someone who needed to have every minute scheduled and accounted for. There are some obnoxiously efficient people out there.
Thank you :blushed:

The description they gave is as follows: "ENTJs show their love through acts of diligence and loyalty – and they expect the same back from their partners. To an ENTJ, love is a verb, not a feeling. The moment they suspect that a partner may be willing to betray or act against them, they will not hesitate to shut them out. Relationships are a matter of risk management to the ENTJ and if you’re not going to play devotedly for their team, you can find another."

This is actually a pretty excellent description of me, aside from the ENTJ part. Disloyalty for me would be, at its extreme, cheating. However, it could also include things like casting me in a negative light to others by making up stories about me (legitimate criticism is fine, making up stuff to make me look bad is not). If you are doing things like that, I don't care how much you apologize and protest that you really care. If you really cared you would not have done it, and please take yourself to Mount Nyiragongo and go for a swim.
Yeah, I agree with this. A lot of people I know put up with a lot of shit in relationships just because they care about the other person, and I used to be one of them. Nowadays, I've realized that even if I feel for someone and they feel for me, that doesn't mean a relationship would/should work, and that extends not only to wrong time/wrong place situations, but also to avoiding people I'm attracted to who I know would be bad news. Once I get attached, it's very hard to detach myself, so I try to avoid that in the first place by sizing people up carefully I ever get involved with them.

I think it would be very hard for me to forgive someone for cheating. I tend to allow others to get away with things that I would never allow myself to do, though, so I can't say I wouldn't if I thought they had a good excuse. I'd like to think I would be strong enough to end it though, because to me, that's a matter of principle, and if they cheat once, they might cheat again. I don't know. Life isn't as black and white as I wish it were sometimes.

I wish I were as logical as the article makes us out to be. :blushed: I think younger ENTJs are much more prone to the idealization of love, and unfortunately, realizing feelings are often illogical does not do a ton to fix that problem.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nordom

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,991 Posts
@maust
Lol - I was definitely thinking of ENTJs and INTJs with the efficient living characteristic. Not that I'd ever not date one who tended toward that on occasion (in fact currently crushing on someone like that), just if it was inflexible, and forced me into readjusting my life philosophy.

Let's face it though, a lot of us are really lazy, and need the occasional kick in the pants.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,958 Posts
I had for example a woman friend who is ESFJ (confirmed by test).
Tests don't confirm anything, unless you meant a test done by a professional. Online/Self tests only really show you how the person sees themselves. My roommate tested as INFP, but is actually an ISFP for example. I tested as an INTP and an ENTP for a long time. Had to get verified by multiple people in order to really understand what type I was, one of which was a professional.

But yeah, this link alone shows that I am not an INTP that I thought I was for a long time. I have 0 tolerance for people that aren't willing to understand or appreciate me. They aren't worth my time. "Critical thinking" is too subjective for it to really matter. I only care if the person is an idiot or not, and even then I could still be friends/lovers with them because it doesn't matter much.

I don't think, based on this site you linked, that I could ever be in a relationship with an ISFJ/ESTJ/ESFJ/ISTJ. They seem way too stingy and controlling in their needs.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,619 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
Tests don't confirm anything, unless you meant a test done by a professional. Online/Self tests only really show you how the person sees themselves. My roommate tested as INFP, but is actually an ISFP for example. I tested as an INTP and an ENTP for a long time. Had to get verified by multiple people in order to really understand what type I was, one of which was a professional.

But yeah, this link alone shows that I am not an INTP that I thought I was for a long time. I have 0 tolerance for people that aren't willing to understand or appreciate me. They aren't worth my time. "Critical thinking" is too subjective for it to really matter. I only care if the person is an idiot or not, and even then I could still be friends/lovers with them because it doesn't matter much.

I don't think, based on this site you linked, that I could ever be in a relationship with an ISFJ/ESTJ/ESFJ/ISTJ. They seem way too stingy and controlling in their needs.
Whether or not she is actually ESFJ is irreverent to the conversation. I am merely pointing out that it was not my subjective measure of her being ESFJ. I don't see how it makes a difference that the person administrating the test is being paid or not. And just to be clear this is INTP sarcasm that you are reading.
 
1 - 20 of 42 Posts
Top