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The 'Totally There' Mother
ESFP (Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)


"I like to give my children an immediate response. It's not like there's one time for hugs and another to make sandwiches."

Energetic and people-oriented, the ESFP mother lives in the moment, "totally there" for her children—totally focused on them when she is with them. She enjoys being with her children and can respond to their needs "on the spot," ensuring that they feel loved and cared for.

Fun-loving, friendly, and outgoing, the ESFP mother actively engages her children in a wide variety of experiences. They can count on her to strike up a conversation with a fellow shopper at the market or with the bus driver, introducing them to the joys of people everywhere.

Devoted and practical, the ESFP mother also enjoys doing for her children. She is attentive to their feelings and is deeply touched by every joy or hurt they experience.

Tips
The ESFP mother can benefit from joining a group of mothers who have children the same age as hers. Together these women can point out different perspectives, options, and ways of doing things, as well as affirm that "she's not the only one." Supporting one another in their mothering can help provide the objectivity and reassurance she needs.
The ESFP mother needs to remember to tune in to her needs and put them first once in a while. Always giving and being "totally there" for her children, she may burn out and have nothing left for herself, which can leave her feeling resentful and angry. The added benefit of putting the focus on herself: she gives her children space and time to develop their independence.


Strengths
Being there. The ESFP mother may consider herself 100% devoted to her children. As such, her first priority is "being there" for them whenever they need her—being on call 24 hours a day, showering them with unconditional love, comforting them when they hurt.
Playfulness. Child-oriented and filled with joy for living, the ESFP mother knows how to have fun and laugh with her children, perhaps acting like a kid again herself. She delights in having children around, and that includes other people's children. Her house may be the neighborhood hang-out.
Family focus. A proponent of family closeness and unity, the ESFP mother seeks to instill a strong sense of family in her children. She encourages everyone to spend time together and wants her children to know that family comes first—that family members support each other through thick and thin.
Flexibility. Unstructured and non-restrictive, the ESFP mother is spontaneous. She enjoys going with the flow of children of all ages.


Struggles
Discipline. Although well-behaved children are a high priority for her, the ESFP mother may not feel confident as a disciplinarian. Struggling to gain an objective point of view, she may wonder, "Should I make an issue of this or let it go this one time?" If she is confronted with a situation where her actions could make a child unhappy, she may think setting limits is "mean." And sticking to limits over the long run may be harder for her than for her child.
Letting go. Encouraging independence in her children can be difficult for the ESFP mother. Backing off goes against her natural inclination to get involved, be close, and do things for them.
When her children are hurt. The ESFP mother may become overly upset when her children's feelings are hurt or when they're facing life's hard knocks. She may need steady reassurance that they'll be okay.
 

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Another reason I want an ESFP, :tongue:
 
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